THE POSTMAN'S CORNER There comes a time in your life when you realise who matters, who doesnt, who never did and who always will,so dont worry about the people from your past...theres a reason they didnt make it to your future Mr. Clean free sample Everyday Messes Erase - Like Magic! Get twice the clean with your FREE* MR. CLEAN MAGIC EREASER DUO! The NEW two-sided eraser has special fabrics & formulas for all of your family's different types of messes. The white side cuts grime & removes tough soils while the other, absorbent, blue side swipes away everyday spills & mishaps! Watch them erase - Like Magic! http://www.tinyurl.com/2lh7pq GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS A lot of you good folks have asked me to post pics of myself, the motorcycle, and Turk the dog. Unfortunately, my scanner broke down about a year or so ago. And I so seldom use it, I never got it replaced. However, at such time as I do, I will surely follow through with the requests. Bought me an oxygen meter the other day. I can tell myself now how my oxygen level is doing. The docs had ordered it to be set on 3 liters and based on what my readings are, I am getting 94 or 95 percent even without wearing the stuff. That tells me that perhaps it is not so dreadful as it seems. That is a good thing. It also tells me that there is no need for me to have that much. and when I do wear it, I dial it down to a lower level than they say. Yes, I understand that it is not a good thing to self medicate. But on the other hand, the docs are not here every day to check and see how I am doing, either. This is the weekend off for "the war department." That is always a good thing. But I also know what else it will mean. We have pretty much done cleaned everything in the house for our spring cleaning. And the other day she was making noises about the yard. I suspect if it is nice weather today, I will most likely get drafted to assist. Sigh, its unfortunate how silly stuff can get in the way of important things like riding motorcycles. We do hope you enjoy today's issue! I do have to ask you a question. Are you having trouble with any kind of joint or muscle pain? The war department asked me to tell you about Dr Franks pain relief. You have seen it on tv. It works wonders. She used to have a lot of groans and aches. And she doesn't any more. There is nothing else like Dr. Frank's Joint & Muscle Pain Relief, a revolutionary, all-natural homeopathic oral spray remedy which effectively and safely stops joint and muscle pain and stiffness from any cause. Try it out. you can't lose on it cuz it has a money back guarantee. recommended by the postman http://www.tinyurl.com/2u633e Cordially Martin aka the postman THE COMICS the difference http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v051.html love thy neighbor http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v052.html grounds for divorce http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v053.html girl scout cookies http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v054.html forget health food http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v055.html confucious say http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v056.html airport security http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v059.html LETS GO TO THE MOVIES mudslinger the pig http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5208.html Daffy and the parachute http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5209.html I like to moo http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5210.html employee of the month http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5211.html malt liquor 40 in 30 seconds http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5213.html peeing on a frozen lake http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5215.html INTERESTING STUFF first time on a dirt bike http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2251.html the L.A. county fair http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2255.html dog has the blues http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2256.html cat shot 27 times http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2257.html how fresh is it http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2258.html _______________ The phone rang. It was a salesman from a mortgage refinance company. "Do you have a second mortgage on your home?" "Would you like to consolidate all your debts?" "I really don't have any," I said. "How about freeing up cash for home improvements?" he tried. "I don't need any. I just recently had some done and paid cash," I parried. There was a brief silence, and then he asked, "Are you looking for a husband?" _____________ A fellow evidently under the influence was trying desperately to catch a train back to his suburban home. Three times he got on the wrong train. Each time he was told that he would have to take another train. When he boarded a fourth train he slumped down in a seat beside a clergyman, whose eyes, ears and nose told him that this new passenger had been drinking too much. He told our besotted friend: "Brother, may I tell you that you are traveling the rough and rocky road to damnation." To which the drunk replied: "Don't tell me I'm on the wrong fucking train again!" ___________ Because they needed some help around the house, the minister's wife placed an ad for a manservant. Around 8 a.m. the next morming a nicely dressed young man appears at their front door. "Can you fix breakfast by 7 a.m. every day?" the minister asks the young man. "Well...... I guess I can," came the bewildered reply. "And can you make the beds, dust the living room, do the dishes, cut the grass, and polish the silver also." the minister continued. "Gee, sir, I just came by to see about getting married. But if it's going to be that much work, you can count me out right now!" ______________ Q. Did you hear about the new blonde paint? A. It's not real bright, but it's cheap, and spreads easy. Q. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A. Breasts don't have eyes. Q. What's the difference between a '90's woman and a Computer? A. A '90's woman won't accept a three and a half inch floppy. Q. How do Greeks separate the men from the boys? A. With a crowbar. ______________ At a golf course, four men approached the sixteenth tee. The straight fairway ran along a road and bike path fenced off on the left. The first golfer teed off and hooked the ball in that direction. But the ball went over the fence and bounced off the bike path onto the road, where it hit the tire of a moving bus and was knocked back on to the fairway. As they all stood in silent amazement, one man finally asked him, "How on earth did you do that?" He shrugged his shoulders and said, "You have to know the bus schedule." ___________ A woman went to the bank to arrange for a loan. "I'm sorry, ma'am," the teller told her, "but the loan arranger is out to lunch." "That's okay," said the woman. "Can I speak to Tonto then?" ______________ Suffering from a bad case of the flu, the outraged patient bellowed, "Three weeks? The doctor can't see me for three weeks? I could well be dead by then!" Calmly the voice at the other end of the line replied, "If so, would you have your wife call to cancel the appointment?" _________ PAPA Thorn Lunch buffet table http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=010Lunchx013.jpg SYDESJOKES LIST You Might Be A Redneck http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001494.html FUN PAGES from Lorraine Dog Fight 2 http://tinyurl.com/d8h3lc Shopping Cart Hero http://tinyurl.com/cknawl BUFFALO BILL Come On In http://buffalosjokes.com/01020514.htm Don't Molest The Forrest http://buffalosjokes.com/01020503.htm Stripper Chick http://buffalosjokes.com/new_page_0.htm THAT'S ALL FOLKS! Have a nice day! FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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