[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For Tues



Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

Took a run out to Nancy's for the second day in a row to bond
with the siblings and watch the latest project Nancy is working
on. From a stack of rough sawn Red Oak Nancy is building a
cradle for one of her friends that she is having a baby shower
for in a week. Yesterday Brother Don and his son had the planer
set up and they were turning the lumber into furniture-grade lumber
and in the process reducing it from an inch and a quarter thick
to three-quarters of an inch. This was set up outside in the sun
where the chips helped soak up some of the water from the
melting ice but by today the operation had moved inside to an
empty bedroom where Nancy had set up the table saw and
band saw with a scroll blade. All of the pieces were cut to a rough
length prior to gluing and I had a chance to see Nancy's biscuit
jointer in operation as she joined boards together to get
unbroken sides and ends for the cradle. Having doweled and glued
cabinets and doll furniture for Buffy years ago I was amazed how
easy the jointer is compared to trying to locate and drill dowel
holes.
The biscuit itself is flat of varying thicknesses and has the shape
of a football and has a small amount of endplay to allow the glued
pieces to be aligned before being clamped. Although she has very
little time to complete it I am sure it will be beautiful when Nancy

gets done.

Much of the things that makes the work that Don and Nancy do
special is that the wood either comes from the woods around
their houses or from various sources in the County. It then goes to
Don's sawmill which is a large carriage type band saw with a V-4
Wisconsin motor that was built by Don's brother in law. After the
wood has been dried and seasoned in the barns, it is ready for
use as lumber, siding, and trim or molding. All of the wood in
Nancy's
house with the exception of the flooring is not just lumber, it has
a
story that began with a tree on the property hitting the ground. It
takes you back to the day where a person bought a piece of
property and from the wood they cleared built a home, sometimes
from logs and other times with the help of a sawmill.

Enjoy the chips.... buffalo

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Nun Chips
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The 7 Dwarfs go to the Vatican and, because they are the 7 Dwarfs,
they are immediately ushered in to see the Pope.

Dopey leads the pack.

'Dopey, my son,' says the Pope, 'What can I do for you?'

Dopey asks, 'Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns
in Rome?'

The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment
and answers, 'No, Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome.

In the background, a few of the dwarfs start giggling.

Dopey turns around and glares, silencing them.

Dopey turns back, 'Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of
Europe?'

The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers,
'No, Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe.

This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter.

Once again, Dopey turns around and silences them with an angry
glare.

Dopey turns back and says, 'Your Popeness! Are there ANY dwarf nuns
anywhere in the world?'

The Pope, really confused by the questions says, 'I'm sorry, my son,
there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world.'

The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing,
pounding the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks, as they begin
chanting......

'Dopey screwed a penguin!'
'Dopey screwed a penguin!'

Randy

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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

Bugger!
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=009Bugger_2.jpg

Useful coupon
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=009coupon-to-print.jpg

Chocolate swirl dessert
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=009Dessertx016.jpg

I Will Marry You!
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/21044.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/21044.htm "> Here!</a>

Sometimes...
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/21042.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/21042.htm "> Here!</a>

Doctor
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/21043.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/21043.htm "> Here!</a>

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Hinckley Chips
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You might recall that John Hinckley was the seriously deranged young
man who shot President Reagan in the early 1980s. Hinckley was
absolutely obsessed with move star jodie Foster, extremely jealous,
and in his twisted mind, loved Jodie Foster to the point that to
make himself well known to her, he attempted to asassinate President
Reagan. There is speculation Hinckley might soon be released as
having been rehabilitated. Consequently, you may appreciate the
following letter from John McCain that the staff at the mental
facility treating Hinckley reports to have intercepted this past
weekend:

To: John Hinckley
From: John McCain

My wife and I wanted to drop you a short note to tell you how
pleased we are with the great strides you are making in your
recovery. In our fine country's spirit of understanding and
forgiveness, we want you to know there is a non-partisan consensus
of compassion and forgiveness throughout. My wife Cindy and I want
you to know that no grudge is borne against you for shooting
President Reagan.

We, above all, are aware of how the mental stress and pain could
have driven you to such an act of desperation. We are confident you
will soon make a complete recovery and return to your family to join
the world again as a healthy and productive young man.

Best Wishes,
John and Cindy McCain

PS: While you have been incarcerated, Barack Obama has been banging
Jodie Foster like a screen door in a tornado. Just thought you
should know.

Patricia

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Law Chips
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Mexico, Guadalajara Laws

Women who work for the government of the city of Guadalajara, may
not wear miniskirts or any other "provocative" garment during office

hours.
\_____________________________

Morocco Laws

Anyone in company with someone who possesses narcotics, even if they
are unaware that their companion has them, can be tried for the same
crime.
\_____________________________

Indonesia Law

The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.
\_____________________________

Nepal, Bangladesh & Macao Law

In Nepal, Bangladesh and Macao it is against the law to view movies
containing simulated lovemaking or the pubic area of men and women.
The law also does not allow kisses to be shown in any film that
includes actors from these three countries.
\_____________________________

Cautin Province in Chile has an edict banning the hanging on the
walls of Playboy centerfolds and other sexy pinups in any home or
public building. The reason according to this decree? "It's more
worthwhile to admire a good landscape than a photograph of a naked
woman."
\_____________________________

Featherbeds were long ago outlawed in Buenos Aires, Argentina
because "such an indulgence induces and encourages lascivious
feelings."
\_____________________________

It's against the law in Belize for any man to have sex with or marry
his own aunt. Masked vigilantes are allowed to take the law into
their own hands and severely punish the lawbreaker, who is tied to a
tree and then flogged.
\_____________________________

Masturbation is outlawed in French Guiana because of the "danger it
presents to the masturbator." The law notes that such a physical
act "is recognized as a common cause of insanity."
\_____________________________

The law in Montevideo, Uruguay, bans a man from making love to his
wife during her menstrual period. Nor is he allowed even to touch
her between the waist and the knees. Anyone who violates this law is
fined and publicly administered 200 lashes.

Ross

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Company Chips
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All of these are legitimate companies that didn't spend quite enough
time to consider how their online name might appear!

**************
These are not made up. Check them out yourself!

1. 'Who Represents' is where you can find the name of the agent
that represents any celebrity. Their Web site is:
www.whorepresents.com

2. 'Experts Exchange' is a knowledge base where programmers can
exchange advice and views at: http://www.expertsexchange.com/

3. Looking for a great pen? Look no further than ' Pen Island .'
It can be found at: http://www.penisland.net/ 4. Need a therapist?
Try 'Therapist Finder' at: www.therapistfinder.com
5. Then there's the 'Italian Power Generator' company. Check it
out at: http://www.powergenitalia.com/ 6.. 'IP computer'
software, there's always: www.ip_anywhere.com

7. And the designers at 'Speed of Art' await you at their wacky
Web site : http://www.speedofart.com/
Have a fun day! Just be careful what you name YOUR new web site

Byford Hall

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Q and A Chips
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Did you hear condoms are now being sold with a free calling card?
The attached instructions say, "If you can't come, call."

What's the best way to get into a sleeping bag?
Wake her up first!

Did you hear about the house that was built by lesbians?
There were no studs it was all tongue in groove.

What's the definition of "Tender Love?"
Two gays with hemorrhoids.

Why is death a lot like sex?
It feels funny for a second, but then it's over.

Why do women like wearing black panties?
~ It's a way for them to say, "In memory of those
who were buried here."

What is a Peter Pan?
A wash basin in a whorehouse.

What's the nicest thing about a nudist wedding?
You don't have to ask - you can see who the best man is.

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When I saw this new product I knew my life would be getting a lot
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I can't believe I didn't think of this..... Check out this video on
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Simply amazing! I wish I had this 20 years ago...

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Cookie Chips
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In the beginning there was the Void, and you couldn't find a decent
bloody beer, or for that matter, anything else decent anywhere. Then
God spake, saying unto the Cosmos "I want a decent bloody biscuit!"
And chocolate chip bickies appeared.

God tasted them and they were chewy and fatty and rich - and God saw
that they were good.

Then God looked forth for someone to tell how good the bloody beaut
bickies were, but there was Void, and fuck-all else, so God created
a
place, and called it "Here."

And then, probably because he was bored shitless, God caused to
appear a man, right here, and called him "You." Then God spake, "Hey
You, try one of these bloody beaut bickies, they're great!"

"You" partook of the bloody beaut bickies, and raved as to the
goodness thereof. Then "You" looked for someone else to tell about
the wondrous bloody beaut bickies of chocolate chip, but there was
no
one but him and God, and God already knew of them.

So "You" spake unto God, beseeching, "Who can I tell about these
bloody beaut bickies?"

With this in mind, God created woman, and called her "Wowza," for
her
form was exceedingly fair to look upon. "You" then spake unto her
and said, "Wowza, you bloody well have to try one of these bloody
beaut bickies!"

"Wowza" partook of the bloody beaut bickies, and said "Yeah well,
they're OK." Then she hid herself from "You" and God, and ate the
entire box of bloody beaut bickies As a result God waxed wrathful
and
spake, "You! Where are my bloody beaut bickies?"

"You" turned and cried, "Wowza! the bitch - She fucken gutzed the
whole box!"

For this God sent forth a curse of biblical proportion
called "cellulite"
and smote "Wowza" horrendously on each of her hips, causing "You" to
look upon her and go "Fuck me! What a fat bitch"

Then Satan, He of rice cakes and Iceberg lettuce set, did appear and
sent to "Wowza" a divorce lawyer to comfort her in her grief.

And thus did "Here" become a place of bedevilment and God
quoth, "Next time, I'll send out for pizza, and I'll be buggered if
I
am telling anyone, including "You"

Thus, it is written ...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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in Irish culture. Now, this fine jewelry design can be yours to wear
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brilliant-cut
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends

Melva/A New Beginning
http://www.silverandgoldandthee.com/Misc/Beginning.html

carolyn w/ Little Spot In Heaven
http://carolynspreciousmemories.com/Spiritual/LittleSpotInHeaven.htm
l

John w/ Pennies From Heaven
http://heavens-gates.com/penniesfromheaven/

WYOMING COWGIRL!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poems/cowgirl.html

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Surfin Surfari

GLORIOUSLY COOL TRUCK SPILLS
http://www.truckspills.com/

All About Alcatraz Via Shangy
http://www.alcatrazhistory.com/mainpg.htm

Timezone Check Via Wesley
http://www.timezonecheck.com/

Cosmic Motors
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

Manage Send To Menu
http://www.gabrieleponti.com/software/index.html#sendtotoys

St.Patricks's Day Animations
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs_p-t.html

Wiki Press Via Wesley
http://pediapress.com/

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We wanted to let you know right away that you never have to pay
another cable or satellite bill ever again if you don't want to! The
Internet has made this possible!

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Here is some more information about this new way to watch
television:

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2) There are hundreds of channels from around the world to watch!
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3) Hundreds of Radio stations to listen to anytime, all of the time!
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Animal World

Doggie Zone Via Dianne http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2BgjH_CtIA

Kitty Korner
http://www.wtv-zone.com/Mary/HOLYCAT.HTML

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You probably think I've lost my mind - and maybe I have - but just
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customers to unlock the secrets to getting started online - the
right way.

Press here to Grab it quick - right now - before I change my mind...

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Did you know that many people who are married or in a serious
relationship secretly download software applications that allow them
to monitor and see everything that their spouse or lover does on the
Internet.

Do you think that someone has done this to you? You can remove these
programs from your PC or laptop with a program called Spyware Nuker.
This program also removes any spyware or adware located on your PC
or laptop.

Right now you can scan your PC or laptop for no cost to see if there
are any "spying" programs on them.

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Movie Clips

Flashlights
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jksjh.htm

Football
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hfkhfdj.htm

Football Season
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jakhfj.htm

Fruit Cake
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hdskjhsa.htm

Fruit Cake Lady
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sakjakjf.htm

Loafing
http://www.buffaloschips.com/5r5.htm

Looking For My Wallet And Car Keys
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7y.htm

Lundi
http://www.buffaloschips.com/8uh.htm

Katen Luikje
http://www.buffaloschips.com/012137.htm

Korokurum Bridges
http://www.buffaloschips.com/012138.htm

Look
http://www.buffaloschips.com/012139.htm

Microsoft No More Keyboards
http://www.buffaloschips.com/012140.htm

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Parrot Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This guy wanted a parrot who talked. He asked the pet store manager
if there was a bird who was already speaking. The manager directed
the guy to a bird by the window. "This bird has a vocabulary of 1000
words and another 50 phrases that would fit most occasions."

The guy bought the bird and took it home.

Next day, the guy was back in the pet store to complain. The bird
hadn't said a word.

The pet store manager said, "That's not unusual. Why not buy a few
of the toys the bird had been used to playing with while here and
put
it in his cage. That should get him more comfortable with his
surroundings and loosen him up." The man paid for the toys and took
them home to the bird.

Two days later the guy showed back up. "Still not talking, huh?"
asked the manager. "Well, perhaps a birdbath would do the trick."
The credit card was whipped out, the purchase made, and the guy was
back home with his new birdbath.

And, like clockwork, two days later the guy was back to complain
that
the bird STILL hadn't said one word. This time the shop owner
scratched his head and said, "You know, sometimes the bird would be
praised in his training and allowed to ring this bell." The guy was
hesitant, but he really wanted to hear the bird talk, so he
reluctantly purchased the bell.

Two days later, the guy was back in the shop. This time the pet shop
owner suggested the bird was lonely. The guy was upset that he'd
have to purchase ANOTHER bird when the first one wasn't talking. The
pet shop owner told him that, no, he wouldn't have to do that. Just
buy a mirror and trick the bird into thinking he had company.

You guessed. Two days later, the man was back in the store, this
time with the parrot. The parrot was dead.

"What happened! Didn't the bird ever talk?" asked the pet store
owner.

"Yep. Right before he died it said, 'Don't they sell any fucking
birdseed at that pet store?'"

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Tomato Giant - Gardener's Choice Tomato Tree

Grow tomatoes as big as grapefruits - up to 2 lbs each. These giant
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producing up to 180 lbs of supersized tomatoes.

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receive 3 of our big early hybrid tomatoes - just pay S&H.

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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

what a gip
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t004.html

forget my husband
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t005.html

divorce court
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t006.html

Twenty Bucks
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/21047.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/21047.htm "> Here!</a>

Peace
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/21045.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/21045.htm "> Here!</a>

Bush's Second Term
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/21046.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/21046.htm "> Here!</a>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

QuickLawn - Just Sow It and Grow It

Get beautiful green grass all year round. QuickLawn works in the
toughest terrain from sandy soils to high traffic areas. It costs as
little as 1 cent per square foot.

Keep your lawn's color and texture through every season.

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Limerick Chips
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There once was a girl from the chorus
Whose virtue was said to be porous
She started by candling
And ended by handling
The whole clientele of a whorehouse.

A hard-working waitress named Cora
Discovered that drummers adore a
Titty that's ripe
And a c*nt that is tripe --
Now she doesn't work hard any more-a.

A lady named Belle da C*nt Corrigan
Was the mistress of J. Pierpont Morigan,
Till she handed the banker
A hell of a chancre
And now she is just a plain whore again!

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EZ Cracker - Crack, Separate and Strip Eggs

Making eggs has never been cleaner or easier. EZ Cracker separates
egg whites for perfect egg white omelets. Strip shells from hard
boiled eggs in seconds...no mess, no fuss.

Get the Bacon Wave at no charge when you order EZ Cracker today!

View Web Version

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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mary: It was supposed to be nothing more than a good night kiss, but
He instantly tried to run his hand up under my skirt.

Jill: How forward!

Mary: Exactly! That's why I stopped him, and he said, "Oh, Honey! Am
I the first one ever to do this to you?"

Jill: Oh, please!

Mary: I know! So I said, "I don't know; you haven't done anything
yet, and at this rate you'll never get the chance either!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Touch-n-Brush - Hands Free Toothpaste Dispenser

Touch-n-Brush uses revolutionary, vacuum force technology to cleanly
squeeze every available drop of toothpaste in the tube. Get the
perfect amount of toothpaste every time without the mess.

Eliminate messy, sticky bathroom sinks forever.

View Web Version

http://buffaloschips.com/touch

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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An Australian bloke was at a pub and introduced himself to a pretty
young
girl at the bar. Things went quite well for him and they kept
talking for
most of the night and by the end of it he had arranged to meet her
at a
restaurant later on in the week.

Things went even better on the date and they hit it off so well that
when it
was time to leave, he asked if she might like to come back to his
place for
a coffee and possibly even stay the night if she was keen.

She said "Yeah, I'd love to but I have to tell you I'm on my
menstrual
cycle", to which he replied "That's alright love, I've got a Holden
Ute so
we can just chuck it in the back"

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The Slap Chop is a manual chopper machine that works when you slap
the plunger part. Every slap triggers the 3 blades below to chop and
cut the food. The more you slap the
Slap Chop, the finer the food gets.

Chop up potatoes for home fries, or add mushrooms and green peppers
for a tasty side to
your eggs. Even use the Slap Chop for vegetables like carrots,
celery and radishes for an
instant salad. Nuts and chocolate are chopped easy for toppings on
ice-cream. The Slap Chop
is great for onions and even garlic so your fingers don't smell and
it saves time. The Slap Chop's
base opens up to expose the blades for easy cleaning.

Additional Ordering Details:

http://buffaloschips.com/slap

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1540

Trans-fur-mation

Katie: Sandi, look at Rudy run. I have not seem him run like that
in a long
time. What is the deal?

Sandi: I think Daddy giving him his meds everyday, along with the
warmer
days have helped.

Rudy comes jogging over...: Come on guys, let's head to the lake for
a
swim.

Katie: I am kind of tired Rudy.

Sandi: I will go.

Rudy: I feel great, let's go Katie. Come on I will race you.

Katie: Okay, you know I will win.

Zoom!!

At the lake..

Splash!

Rudy: There is nothing like swimming in the water Katie.

Katie: Okay I have had fun, let me out. Remember I do not have the
fur
you have. I am freezing.

Sandi: Feels great to me Rudy.

Rudy: Watch this, I am working on my backstroke.... blub blub
blub...

Sandi: We doggies can't do that Rudy...

Rudy: Spit toey! You are right Sandi, I guess the dog paddle is
all we can
do. Race you back to the house Sandi.

Back at the house Katie has a large beach towel wrapped around her
and
she is shivering....

Sandi and Rudy are feeling quite nice and lay on the grass to sun.

Katie: How can you guys just lay out there? I am freezing.

Rudy: You are a retriever Katie, you should be able to handle this.

Katie: I am going inside to my doghouse and hit my sauna then watch
my 60" plasma tv..later I will retrieve some leftover pizza from the
fridge.

Rudy/Sandi: We will join you.

The herd in Guthrie

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult Adult

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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