[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

 
 
 

 
 
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
 
 
 
 
"Who is also aware of the tremendous risk involved in faith –
when he nevertheless makes the leap of faith –
this [is] subjectivity … at its height."
– Søren Kierkegaard (1813 – 1855)
 
 
 

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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
They brought out my smaller oxygen tanks to me yesterday.
Most of you are familiar with the big green ones. They are the
ones that you roll behind you on a cart and pull by the handle.
These tanks they brought are portable. Meaning that they will
fit in to a small back back, or you can carry them with a shoulder
strap as they are no bigger than a foot tall. Plus, they are
easier to hook up, and you can refill these ones yourself. The
big ones they have, you have to have them cart out to you on a
big truck. So the convenience factor is much greater. They will
work quite nicely when I am out and about on the motorcycle this
summer and I am sure they will not slow me down one bit. Now I
just need some decent weather to try them out. But I do not think
it will happen today. The temps are in the 40s today, and there
are sprinkles in the air. So its probably not the greatest weather
for riding the bike or other outdoor activities.
So if your weather is not cooperating in your part of the country
today, either, the best thing to do is to sit back. Poor yourself
a cup of joe, and relax with a few good laffs from the Postman!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
 
 
 
 
THE COMICS
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
_______________
 
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
 
 
your apartment, your budlight, your girlfriend
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5188.html
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Have you ever seen the rain
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5196.html
_____________
 
INTERESTING STUFF
 
 
 
 
 
America's unhealthiest restaurants
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2235.html
 
 
 
 
 
Welcome to Mississauga
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_______________
 
A population control program had been introduced to the island,
but the doctors were having trouble getting the women to take
their birth control pills. They decided, therefore, to
concentrate on teaching the men to wear condoms.
One of the men who came in had fathered eight children in eight
years, and the doctor told him that he absolutely had to wear a
sheath. He explained that as long as he wore it his woman could
not have another baby. About a month later, the wife came in and
she was pregnant. The doctor got very angry. He called the man in
and gave him a long lecture through an interpreter. He asked the
man why he hadn't worn the sheath.
The interpreter said, "He swears he did wear it. He never took it off."
The doctor shook his head. "In that case, ask him how his wife
got pregnant again?"
"He says," said the interpreter, "that after six days he had to
pee so badly that he cut the end off."
_____________
 
Billy was excited about his first day at school. So excited in
fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realized
that he desperately needed to go to the bathroom.
So, Billy raised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused.
Of course, the teacher said yes, but asked Billy to be quick.
Five minutes later Billy returned, looking more desperate and
embarrassed. "I can't find it," he admitted.
The teacher sat Billy down and drew him a little diagram of where
he should go and asked him if he would be able to find it now.
Billy looked at the diagram, said "yes" and went on his way.
Well, five minutes later he returned to the classroom and said to
the teacher, "I can't find it."
Frustrated, the teacher asked Tommy, a boy who has been at the
school for a while, to help him find the bathroom. So, Tommy and
Billy go together and five minutes later they both return and sit
down at their seats.
The teacher asks Tommy, "Well, did you find it?"
"Oh sure," Tommy replied, "he just had his boxer shorts on
backwards."
________________
 
There was a baby born in the hospital. The odd thing about him was his testicles
weighed five pounds and the rest of his body weighed five pounds.
The nurses and doctors didn't know what to do with him. The chief
of staff arrived and asked "What's wrong?" The head nurse replied,
''We don't know what to do with this baby boy.' ' The chief looked and said,
"Well it's obvious that you should put him into a
mental institution. Why,'' asked the head nurse. "Well," replied the chief surgeon,
the boy is obviously half nuts."
_____________
 
The popular blonde cheerleader bounced into the local card shop, looked
around, then approached the clerk.
"Do you have any, like, real special birthday cards?" she asked.
"Yes, we do," he replied. "As a matter of fact, here's a new one. It's
inscribed, 'To the Boy Who Got My Cherry'."
"Wow, neat!" she squealed. "I'll take the whole box."
________________
 
Now that I'm 'older' but refuse to grow up, here's what I've discovered:
 
1. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.
 
2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.
 
3. I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.
 
4. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.
 
5. If all is not lost, where is it?
 
6. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
 
7. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.
 
8. If God wanted me to touch my toes, He'd have put them on my knees.
 
9. It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
 
10 These days I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter...
I go somewhere to get something and then...wonder what I'm hereafter
_______________
 
A mother is cleaning her teenage daughter's room when she finds a bondage
magazine hidden under the bed. She shows it to her husband and asks him
what he thinks they should do. After flicking through the magazine her
husband says, 'To be honest I'm not sure, but I don't think spanking her
is going to help.'
_______________
 
When the authorities warn you of the dangers of having sex,     
there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex     
with the authorities
_____________
 
Olga and Olie were applying for a wedding license and were answering
questions asked by the clerk. "Olga, how old are you?"
Olga answered, "I am going to be tventy one in Yanuary."
Next the clerk asked, "Olga, how tall are you?"
Responding, Olga stated, "I'm yust about six feet tall."
"And how much do you weigh, Olga?" was the next question.
"I weigh yust about 185 pounds."
"Wow", exclaimed the clerk. "You're big enough to play with the Green Bay Packers!!"
"Oh no," answered Olga. "I yust play with Olie's packer."
______________
 
A girl says to her boyfriend, "I read a study that said 90 percent of
all men masturbate in the shower and the other 10 percent sing."
"Really?" said the boyfriend.
"Yes," said the girlfriend, "and do you know what song they sing?"
"No," replied the boyfriend.
"I didn't think so," she said.
__________
 
SYDESJOKES List
 
 
Snowboarding Down Mountain
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_____________
 
PAPA Thorn
 
 
 
 
 
 
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
 
Stunt Bike Deluxe
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Bricks of Atlantis
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Farm Frenzy Game
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___________
 
BUFFALO Bill
 
 
 
 
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
 
 
 



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