Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Forecast for today was for 40+ degrees and I was going to run the
Jimmy through the car wash and then take the Explorer to Advanced
Auto Parts for a quick scan to see if I can narrow down which oxygen
sensor has to be replaced. It will probably narrow the problem down
to the 02 sensor but not which one though and at 50 bucks a piece I
would prefer only doing the bad one.
However when I got up this morning I could see big clumps of snow
falling through the front drapes. I opened the window and there was
a
couple of inches of fresh snow on everything. The clumps I had been
seeing was the avalanche sliding from the metal roof. This all about
par for this time of the year and people say that the fresh snow
helps
melt the old stuff but I think that 50 degree weather would do the
job
just as well. I know we are still in for a big storm between now and
the
end of winter and it will probably hit first week of April.
Everybody
will be back to making Global Warming jokes but there is some truth
to that saying about March weather in like a Lion out like a Lamb.
There is still a lot of cold air waiting up around the Arctic and if
you
don't get it the first part of the month, which we haven't, you will
see it
later on. Actually the bulk of the snow missed us and decided to hit
down
state from Traverse City to Saginaw. Too bad for them.
Anyhow since my plans for today have been quashed I guess I will
take a nap and watch baseball or racing later and see what Monday
is like. Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Love Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
LOVE - when your eyes meet across a crowded room.
LUST - when your tongues meet across a crowded room.
MARRIAGE - when your belt won't meet around your waist, and you
don't care.
LOVE - when intercourse is called making love.
LUST - all other times.
MARRIAGE - what's intercourse?
LOVE - when you argue over how many children to have.
LUST - when you argue over who gets the wet spot.
MARRIAGE - when you argue over money.
LOVE - when you share everything you own.
LUST - when you think twice about giving your partner bus money.
MARRIAGE - when the bank owns everything.
LOVE - when it doesn't matter if you don't climax.
LUST - when the relationship is over if you don't climax. MARRIAGE -
what's a climax?
LOVE - when you phone each other just to say "Gidday".
LUST - when you phone each other just to organize sex. MARRIAGE -
when you phone each other to find out what time your son's game
starts.
LOVE - when you write poems about your partner.
LUST - when all you write is your phone number.
MARRIAGE - when all you write is cheques.
LOVE - when you show concern for your partners' feelings. LUST -
when you couldn't give a damm. MARRIAGE - when your only concern is
what's on TV.
LOVE - when your farewell is "I love you darling ...".
LUST - when your farewell is "So, same time next week?". MARRIAGE
- when your farewell is silent.
LOVE - when you are proud to be seen in public with your partner.
LUST - when you only ever see each other in the bedroom. MARRIAGE
- when you never see each other awake.
LOVE - when your heart flutters every time you see them.
LUST - when your groin twitches every time you see them. MARRIAGE
- when your wallet empties every time you see them.
LOVE - when nobody else matters.
LUST - when nobody else knows.
MARRIAGE - when everybody else matters and you don't care who knows.
LOVE - when all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you
feel. LUST - when it's just the same mushy old thing. MARRIAGE -
when you never listen to music.
LOVE - when breaking up is something you try not to think about.
LUST - when staying together is something you try not to think
bout. MARRIAGE - when just getting through today is your only
thought.
LOVE - when you're interested in everything your partner does.
LUST - when you're only interested in one thing. MARRIAGE - when
you're not interested in what your partner does and the one thing
you're interested in is your golf score.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
In, Out
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Pogo Love
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Call of The Execution
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Bird Poop Warning
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Sperms
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wool Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Back in the Cold War days, Ivan was a diplomat
and spy. He was new to the USA and lived in
Washington, D.C. for past six months. He soon
complained to Boris, his aide, that he needed a
woman.
Boris dropped off a high-priced hooker at his
door the following Saturday night. Ivan plied her
with some vodka and caviar. As she took her top,
he noticed that her armpits were shaved. He said,
pointing top his own pits, "Vomen in the old
country have wool - they have wool!"
She responded, "It's customary and fashionable to shave our
underarms."
They drank more vodka and ate more caviar. She
removed her slacks. He noticed that her legs are
shaved also. He repeated, "Vomen in the old
country have wool - they have wool!" Once more,
she said, "It's customary and fashionable to
shave our legs."
After more vodka and caviar, he pulled down her
panties and saw that her privates were trimmed.
He exclaimed again, "Vomen in the old country
have wool - they have wool!"
She then asked in loud voice, "Look buddy, did you want to screw or
knit?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Cruise Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The children and grand children of an elderly Jewish woman decided
to
send grandma on a cruise...
Grandma boarded the ship and showed her ticket to the purser.
He looked at it and said, "Oh, I see you have U.D."
She replied, "U.D.? Voos is U.D.?
He said, "U.D. is Upper Deck."
She then went to the upper deck and showed her ticket to the purser
there and he said, I see, that in addition to U.D., you also have
O.C.
"Grandma replied, "O.C.? Voos is O.C.?"
The purser said, "O.C. is Outside Cabin."
Grandma, needless to say, was delighted.
She then showed her ticket to the cabin boy, and he said,"Oh,
I see that you also have B.I.B."
"B.I.B.? Voos is B.I.B.?" asked grandma.
The cabin boy answered, " B.I.B. is Breakfast In Bed."
"Oh!" she said; Mine children and grandchildren are vonderful."
Well, the next morning, bright and early, the staff came right into
her room with trays of food for her breakfast in bed, and she said,
"F.U.C.K.."
Shocked, they said, "F.U.C.K? What do you mean F.U.C.K.?", to which
she replied, "Yes, F.U.C.K.
Foist U Could Knock!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Anal Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A gastroenterologist/
comments made by his patients made while he was performing
colonoscopies:
"Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone
before."
"Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
"Can you hear me NOW?"
"Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!
"Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not,
in fact, up there?"
"You know, in some states, we're now legally married."
"Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
"You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out. You do
the Hokey Pokey...."
"Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
"If your hand doesn't fit, you must acquit!"
"Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
"You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two Viagra pills walk into a bar and sit next
to two Marijuana plants.The marijuana plants
are lamenting about being illegal.
The Viagra pills scoff at them. One Marijuana
plant turns to the Viagra pills and asks, "Don't
you think we should be legal?"
"No," said the Viagra pills, "We are hard on drugs."
"Say," began Lucille one day over lunch, "did you go out with that
guy
who plays the French horn?"
"Yeah," said Diane, stirring her iced tea.
"You were really looking forward to it, I remember. How'd it go?"
Lucille leaned forward eagerly.
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"Oh, really?"
"Every time he kissed me, he wanted to shove his fist up my ass."
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Breast Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A group of Asian women were visiting a village located in
South Africa. They came across a booth selling human breast.
One of the Asian lady asked the butcher, "Why are you
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"Give me the price of each!", said the Asian lady
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butcher says. "White breasts are $300 a pound, and the Asian
breasts are $400 a pound."
The Asian women were glad to hear that Asian breasts were
the most expensive in the breast booth. "Hey, not bad! Asian
breasts are worth more!", said one of the Asian ladies.
"No no no, you don't understand," the butcher explains, "you
don't know how many Asian women we have to kill to get one
pound of breast!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Revo Uninstaaller
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Movie Clips
Taint Taster
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Time to Leave Home
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Triceratits
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Un BarDame
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Viagra Commercial
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uh 60 IN mOSUL
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Muschel
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My family Reunion
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National Anthem Cactus
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Negotiating a Real Piece of Work
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hair Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sam and Anni go on their honeymoon, and Sam spends
six hours of the honeymoon night eating Anni's pussy.
The next afternoon, they go to an Italian restaurant.
Suddenly, Sam starts to freak out. He screams,
"Waiter! Waiter! Come over here!"
The waiter says, "Can I help you, sir?" Sam yells,
"There's a hair in my spaghetti! Get it the fuck
out of here!"
The waiter apologizes up and down as he quickly takes
the spaghetti away. Anni looks over at Sam, and shaking
her head, she whispers, "What a hypocrite you are. You
spent most of last night with your face full of hair."
Sam says, "Yeah? Well, how long do you think I'd have
stayed if I found a piece of spaghetti in there?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wow
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Captain
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Matter Of Taste
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Pencil Sharpner
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My First Dollar
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Pirates
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A methodical fellow named Wade,
Could recall every girl that he'd laid.
He recorded each poke,
Every thrust, every stroke,
And precisely how much he'd been paid.
There once was a miss from Wake Forest
Who had a gigantic clitoris.
Most people, you see,
Thought her name was Marie,
But her intimates knew her as Horace.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
When asked if I preferred legs or breasts, I told the
stranger that I had a particular fondness for shaved
pussies.
He then informed me that this wasn't an option when
choosing a KFC Bargain Bucket.
Harveythefrogprince
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is pretty wild. Pick a face way back in the crowd and check
out the resolution when you magnify it in closer. It makes you
wonder who might be watching US! Now I really do believe that those
aircraft cameras can see a licence plate number from way up in the
sky.
This is a photo from the 2009 Inauguration, In which you can see
IN FOCUS The face of each individual in the crowd !!!
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1548
The Game Pt 2
Rudy is a bit nervous about the moderate loud noise.
Diana: It will be okay Rudy...it is just a basketball game.
Katie: Yeah hang in there brother, it is just a game...
Then all the lights in the center light up and the sound system
cranks to the max and sound of Thunder reaches to your inner
core as the light display starts,,, fireworks go off, as the
starting
line up is introduced. Bolts of lightening flash across the
floor...
Rudy: Mommy...
BOOOM!!!!!
BAAAAM!!!!
BJ: It will be over soon Rudy, hang on to my hand or paw.
Rudy: Wanna go home...
Diana: Here, here Rudy, just let me cover your head with my coat.
Sandi: The introductions are over now...it seems to be getting
calmer.
Katie: Father, here comes the cheerleaders.
wearing
any clothes.
BJ: Katie hand me your field glasses.
Slap!
BJ: Sorry Diana.
To be continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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