THE POSTMAN'S CORNER I've Learned... That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for. ____________ GET FREE BUTTERFINGER OR BABYRUTH http://www.tinyurl.com/2bqbcu FREE HONEY BAKED HAM FOR EASTER! http://www.tinyurl.com/crkzhg FREE EASTER CANDY http://www.tinyurl.com/c9sy4o GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS! The other day I decided it was time to go over to petsmart. See, I had a little dilemma. How am I going to go motorcycle riding this summer, without my buddy, Turk the dog, aka Carlos the rat? So, off I went. After a little bit of looking around, I found myself a nice sized travel carrier for dogs. Brought the thing home, and if I attach a couple of bungie cords, it will sit perfectly on the back of the luggage rack on the bike. We are good to go. The pup rides quite nicely on the back of the bike. And it appears that he actually enjoys it, too. We took a little ride,but it was a little brief, since it was kindof cold out. Went over to the park at the river and then we rode home. Turk spent most of the time barking at the ducks who swam safely at a distance in the river. He found the squirrels to be somewhat intriguing also, but they were not that good of playmates either. Apparently niether ducks nor squirrels have much time for loud doggies. I have to admit I do get a couple of stares while I go down the highway. It is not often you see an old guy riding a motorcycle wearing an oxygen mask with a dog in a carrier on the back of his bike:) Did you know that the postman offers personalized Easter gifts? You can get personalized bunnys, Bunny baskets, Easter Sun catchers, Happy Easter door mats, Easter quacking ducks, bunny bibs for baby, Easter puzzles, and so much more! All proceeds from the promotion and purchase of these items will be used to further the Postman'S CORNER. This page has always been free to all who ask for it, and your purchase and support will support the effort http://www.tinyurl.com/d2cz9o We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman ____________ THE COMICS trappin bull http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v042.html being a bastard http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v044.html communicating http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v046.html what women want http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v047.html did I do that? http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v048.html LETS GO TO THE MOVIES prank at the mall http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5197.html just for laughs http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5198.html GW and the shoe http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5199.html American car recall http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5200.html sand video clip http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5201.html tractor rides are fun http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5202.html plastic wrap prank http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5203.html the right kind of beer http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5204.html protect your valuables http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5205.html INTERESTING STUFF sweatin with the socialists http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2242.html strange public comments http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2243.html strange news headlines http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2244.html POWER POINT DISPLAYS girls in bikinis http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2246.html Christ the redeemer http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2247.html ten most beautiful roads http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2248.html highway of heroes http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2249.html COOL PICS http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fan/c017.html _________________ One of the popular ideas bounced around for an Alternative Olympics are to have a special selection of Redneck Games, and they will even have their own ceremonies. They are reported to be a shoe-in for Alabama, but Tennessee is putting up a valiant fight. Proposed ideas for the events are as follows: 1. Doves released during opening ceremonies are promptly shot by the crowd and sold as concession snacks. 2. In an amazing coincidence, every proposed Olympic venue turns out to be owned by the Governor. 3. Instead of shooting at boring targets, archers take aim at muskrats and ATF agents. 4. Urine drug test transformed into "Distance Competition." 5. Olympic Village replaced with Olympic Trailer Park. 6. Awards of gold, silver and bronze medals replaced by award of gold, silver, and bronze teeth. 7. Opening Ceremony is a Skynyrd tape and a trunk full of bottle rockets. 8. Hometown favorites falter in gymnastics competitions due to all them extra toes. 9. Two words: Billy Bob-sledding. 10. Ballroom dancing will be replaced with a ho-down and participants must be from the same family. 11. The pistol in the hundred yard dash will be loaded with real bullets, just sos we can git a wurld recurd out of dem runners. 12. Beach volleyball will be replaced with tether ball 13. The equestrian event will be replaced with Pitbull boxing. ______________ Uncle Joey asked his nephew, Ronald, what he wanted to be when he grew up. "I want to be a garbage man," Ronald replies. The answer stuns Uncle Joey so he says, "A garbage man! Why?" "They only work on Tuesdays." ________________ A middle-aged woman seemed sheepish as she visited her gynecologist. 'Come now,' coaxed the doctor, 'you've been seeing me for years. There's nothing you can't tell me.' 'This one's kind of strange...' 'Let me be the judge of that,' the doctor replied. 'Well,' she said, 'yesterday I went to the bathroom in the morning and heard a plink-plink-plink in the toilet and when I looked down, the water was full of pennies.' 'I see.' 'That afternoon I went to the bathroom again and, plink-plink-plink, there were nickels in the bowl.' 'That night,' she went on, 'I went again, Plink-plink-plink, and there were dimes and this morning there were quarters! You've got to tell me what's wrong with me!' she implored. 'I'm scared out of my wits!' The gynecologist put a comforting hand on her shoulder. 'There, there, it's nothing to be scared about.' 'You're simply going through the change! _______________ After a relaxing bath Monica Lewinsky was looking at herself, nude in a mirror. Her frustration over her lack of ability to lose weight, was depressing her. In an act of desperation, she decided to call on God for help. Lord.... If you take away my love handles, I'll devote my life to you,' she prayed. And just like that... her ears fell off. ______________ A man was brought before the judge and charged with Necrophilia. The judge said to the man, "In the 20 years on the bench, I've never heard such a disgusting, immoral thing. Just give me one good reason why I shouldn't lock you up and throw away the key!" The man replied, "I'll give you THREE good reasons: first of all, it's none of your damn business... second of all, she was my wife... and third of all, I didn't KNOW she was dead, she ALWAYS acted that way in bed!" ____________ Q: How are martinis like tits? A: One's not enough, and three's too many. Q: What should you do if a pretty girl sits down on your hand? A: Try to get her off! Q: What do you call a female turtle? A: A Clitortous. Q: What do you call two skunks that are 69ing? A: Odor eaters. Q: Why don't they allow a man to marry 2 women in the U. S.? A: No man deserves that kind of punishment! _________ FUN PAGES from Lorraine BUFFALO BILL Slicing Fruit With Playing Cards http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdkjdsk.htm PAPA Thorn Signs of Alien http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=Alien-sign.jpg "Before" Photo http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=before-photo.JPG SYDESJOKES LIST Space Paintings http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001503.html Sponsor An Executive http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001507.html THAT'S ALL FOLKS! Have a nice day! FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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