Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I was reading an ad today where someone was looking for a tutor
to help teach their children " Chicago Math." Of course the first
thing
that came to mind was a story problem like, Governor Blagojevich
has to fill the Senate seat formerly held by Barrack Obama from
Chicago and pocket as much money or political appointments as
possible from the President, or a plethora of corrupt Chicago
Politicians
ranging offering between 10,000 and 250,000 dollars. If the Governor
doesn't realize his phone has been bugged how many years in prison
will he get when the FBI moves in? Show all work.
That actually made more sense than the answer I got when I checked
Google.
Consider multiplication and division. The program asks the student
to draw various grids and maintain a catalog of intermediate
results, with all the zeros in place. This is suppose to teach you,
indirectly, that the integers form a ring, and that the traditional
method works because of the distributive property of multiplication
over addition, the commutative property of addition, and so on.
This is supposed to be clear to a sixth grader. When I was in sixth
grade
someone decided I absolutely needed to be able to do math in bases.
Base 10 was no longer good enough and this was the math that was
being used in computers that had key punch cards. By the time I had
got to ninth grade it was all forgotten because we had decided to
use
binary in computers or if you do math with 0 and 1 but never get to
two
you are all set. Now I don't have to know that 1 + 1 = 10 because
the
computer does and if the computer is broke I had good old Base 10 to
fall back on, even though I threw away my 35.00 slide rule in 1972
which
was faster.
I hope that we are not teaching a new form of math to our kids that
will
force even more out the door before they turn 16. Now comes the
real
kicker Chicago Math was not developed by the Math Dept.. at the
University of Chicago it was developed by the Educational Dept.
Probably because the math dept. decided it wasn't worth pursuing.
Eva had a great party with some of her friends about the same age
and they enjoyed the bounce gym almost as well as they liked getting
spun in my new desk chair. I want to thank everyone who sent her
greetings. Maybe in another year she will be able to thank you
personally.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
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Screw Chips
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THE SILVER SCREW
Once upon a time, a young lad was born without a belly button. In
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it . . . He was screwed.
All the years of growing up were real tough on him, as all who saw
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The next morning when the man awoke, he saw the silver screw laying
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The moral to this is:
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asses!
kent
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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the trouble with congugal visits
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House Restaurant
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Love
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy goes running into a sex shop to return his blow-up doll. He
says to the owner, "Excuse me, but I blew this doll up last night
and
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I met a girl whose breasts were growing out of her back. She was
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The rude redhead was on a blind date set up by a friend. He
disgusted
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Movie Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jenny, an aspiring young actress, made the rounds of producers'
offices for months before finally landing a part in a police movie.
The first day's shooting called for her to be thrown from a speeding
car and tumble into a stack of garbage cans.
On the second day, she was set on fire and thrown from a third floor
window.
On the third day, she was beat up by the villain and dumped into the
sewage-laden river.
Wearily, she dragged herself from the water and limped to the
production office.
"Listen," she managed to stammer. "Who do I have to sleep with to
get
out of this movie?"
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Romantic Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
** Top Ten Signs That You're Not Romantic **
10. You ask the waiter for a seat near the kitchen so it
minimizes the time it takes for your food to arrive.
9. She doesn't like the "I'm The Property of Jason" t-shirt
you got her for your anniversary.
8. You take your date out for dinner that consists of a
coupon for free nachos and half price on drinks.
7. Her candlelight dinners really irritate you 'cause it's
so hard to read the sport's page while eating.
6. You apologize with a dozen dandelions.
5. After a romantic dinner, you offer to do the dishes by
letting the dog lick the plates.
4. You consider pig latin the "language of love".
3. Some say it with flowers, you say it with sparkplugs.
2. When your boyfriend got down on one knee and proposed,
you said, "Shhh!... talk to me during the commercial."
1. "I thought cubic zirconium looked prettier than real
diamonds."
Patricia
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Crab Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man boarded a plane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and
asked the blonde, female crew member to take care of the box for
him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's
refrigerator.
He pointedly informed her that he was going to hold her personally
responsible for the crabs staying frozen, pointing out over and over
he was an attorney and proceeded to rant at her about what would
happen to her if she let them thaw out.
Needless to say, she was greatly annoyed by his continuous behavior.
Shortly before landing in Los Angeles, the blonde crew member used
the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the gentleman
who gave me the crabs in New Orleans, please raise your hand so I
can return them to you?"
Not a single hand went up ... So she took them home and ate them.
Two lessons here:
1. Men never learn.
2. Blondes aren't as dumb as most men think.
Lori
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Back in my working days I was a union linotype operator in a daily
newspaper on Cape Cod. Our employment required 6 years of
apprenticeship prior to receiving a journeyman's credentials. We
were required to be proficient in English, particularly spelling and
meaning of words, among others.
One day a fellow worker while setting a story came across the word,
"butte" and asked his co-worker the difference between a butte,
mountain or mesa, etc. A discussion arose amongst several of us and
the comparison was made as well of canyons, escarpmets, bluffs. etc.
Someone suggested we ask Jeannie, one of our proofreaders to settle
the question.
Well, Jeannie was what one might say a worldly lady, and when
approached by our representative with: "Hey, Jeannie, what's a
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Take it from me, wrinkle cream doesn't work.
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-- Harland Williams
Patricia
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/He Leads Me
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John w/ The Evolution Of Dance
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God will Answer
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Chalk Art 3
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Surfin Surfari
Bruce's Easter Links
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Diabetes Awareness Via Patricia
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Earth Hour Via Colin
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Shotgun rules Via Shangy
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Rose Bowl Flea Market Via Shangy
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv) Via Wesley
Windows Movie Maker
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Movie Clips
High Fireman
http://www.buffalos
Milt Show
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1426
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Mrs Hughes
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Priest off
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Ben Stein
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10 Up, 10 In
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sausage Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tale of the Irish Sausage
Shamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of
money. Between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one
Euro. Murphy said 'Hang on, I have an idea.' He went next door to
the butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage. Shamus said
'Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all!' Murphy
replied, 'Don't worry - just follow me.' He went into the pub where
he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of
Jamieson Whisky. Shamus said 'Now you've lost it. Do you know how
much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!' Murphy
replied, with a smile. 'Don't worry, I have a plan. . . . Cheers!'
They downed their Drinks. Murphy said, 'OK, I'll stick the sausage
through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your
mouth.' The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out.
They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all
for free. At the tenth pub Shamus said 'Murphy - I don't think I can
do any more of this. I'm drunk and me knees are killin'me!' Murphy
said, 'How do you think I feel? I lost the Sausage in the third
pub.'
Charlie
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a man from Calcutta,
who liked to beat off in the gutter,
the heat of the street
melted his meat
and turned his cream into butter.
There was a young man with a prick
Which into his wife he would stick
Every morning and night
If it stood up all right --
Not a very remarkable trick.
<Snagged by>
Ross
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A priest was preparing a man for his long day's
journey into night. Whispering firmly, the priest
said, "Denounce the devil! Let him know how
little you think of his evil!"
The dying man said nothing.
The priest repeated his order.
Still the dying man said nothing.
The priest asked, "Why do you refuse to
denounce the devil and his evil?"
The dying man said, "Until I know where I'm
heading, I don't think I ought to piss off anybody!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day there were three nuns standing outside the gates of heaven
waiting to enter. St. Peter approached them and asked the first nun,
"Do you know who the first man was on earth?" She said, "Ummm that's
tough... Adam?" Bells rang, Angels sang, The gates opened, and she
walked in. Then St. Peter went to the second nun and asked, "Do you
know who the first woman was on earth?" She said, "Ummmm... Eve?"
Bells rang, Angels sang, The gates opened, and she walked in. St.
Peter then asked the third and last nun, "What were the first words
Eve said to Adam?" The third nun said, "Hmmmm, that's a hard one."
Bells rang, Angels sang, The gates opened, and she walked right in
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1552
The Coupon
Rob: Hey Tami, I have this coupon for a new experience.
Tami: What is it?
Rob: We can dine tonight at a new place called Katherine's, the
coupon is for 50 percent off.
Tami: I meet with my Psychologist tonight but I should still get
there before you.
Rob: Greet, here is the address, get us a table for two. I should
be
there by seven. Are you still seeing Katie everywhere?
Tami: It is getting better. To bad the place we are going is
called
Katherines, but I am sure that is just a coincidence.
Rob: Yeah, just rotten luck. Katie is a nice dog. I am certain
you
have misjudged her.
Later that evening Tami drives to the fine eatery and parks her car,
the valet, who looks a lot like Katie, takes her keys and has a hand
out for a tip.
Tami to herself: Just a coincidence I am sure... focus.
Tami walks inside the doors and is meet by the greeter who is
breathing
hard and again looks a lot like Katie:
Greeter: How many in your party Ma'am?
Tami: Two.
Greeter looking one way and then another: I see only one person.
Tami: My husband will be joining me in about twenty minutes.
Greeter with eyebrows raised: Oh, I see. Smoking or non-smoking?
Tami: Non-smoking.
Greeter: Table or booth?
Tami: Table.
Greeter: Adult section or family section?
Tami: How long does this take?
Greeter: We aim to please here. Adult or Family?
Tami: Adult.
Greeter: Indoors or outdoors?
Tami: Good grief...indoors.
Greeter: Thank you ma'am...walk this way..
Tami is sat at a table and left.....a waiter shows up who looks
again
a lot like Katie.
Waiter: What would you like to drink ma'am?
Tami: Water please.
Waiter: Domestic or imported?
To be continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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