Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Eva turns three today and you are invited to the party this
afternoon if you can make it, just IM Eva and she will give
you directions. I know that I told Buffy many years ago when
we were having a father-daughter talk that it would be unwise to
have a child before she was settled into a relationship because
it is too difficult for one person to raise a child alone. There is
no one there to fall back on when you are sick or just too tired
to go on and it can put a strain on motherhood. Giving advice
and reality seldom turn out for the best and Eva was born after
her dad returned to the East Coast. Sandy and I stepped up
and helped with Eva's care as many grandparents do so Buffy
could continue working. It has been a great three years and Eva
has been my companion daily. It is hard to say what the future will
bring, cause I know someday my daughter will find someone who
will appreciate her and she may move across the country. It
will be lonely without Eva but I will deal with that when I come to
it.
For Now ... Happy Birthday Grand-daughter.
Enjoy the chips ...... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Name Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
What's in a name ? A lot more than you think. Here's your chance
to learn what his pet name for you really means. Don't say we
didn't warn you !!
Darling -- Depends on how he says it. If he stresses
the first syllable, then he's probably done something wrong or wants
money.
Dear -- Probably a leftover from his parents. Expect
him to wear woolly cardigans, smoke a pipe and prefer a mug of
ovaltine to lager.
Sweetheart -- If it's said patronisingly, it's not so sweet. But
when uttered in ernest, it may send your own sweet heart aflutter.
Babe -- Not to be confused with the film of the same name. Check for
flares or signs that he's a 70s throwback. He's a bit of a
medallion man. Chances are he's got his initials on his chunky
ring. Leave immediately if he tries to sell you a second-hand car.
Baby doll -- This type of man will probably require you
to wear transparent frilly nighties even in the dead of
winter. He doesn't want you to grow up, and obviously can't deal
with real women.
Princess -- Never trust a man who calls you princess.
You may think you're being treated like royalty, but beware of
Prince Charmings - they may be secretly plotting your overthrow.
Memsahib -- At least you're in no doubt as to who wears the trousers
in this relationship. Who said that colonisation was dead ?
Luv -- Expect him to be a builder, plumber, chippie, sparkie
or just an all round general geezer. Probably calls everyone else
this too, including his dear mum, the vicar and the pet dog.
Fatty -- No problem if you're thin. If you're not - kick him out -
unless he exceeds 40 stone himself.
Sexy -- Fine if you're sexy. If you're not, who cares? He probably
thinks you are anyway !!
Dog breath -- Charming !! He should be in the doghouse
if this is his pet name for you. Return the compliment -
serve him a dog food curry.
Farty pants -- He could be trying to tell you something about your
digestive system - otherwise he's just a big kid who prefers his
mates' humour to you.
Slapper -- Great as a jokey term of affection. But if he
means it perhaps you should be more careful who you bring home at
night
- es pecially if you live together !!
Stupid cow -- The only farmyard animal you should accept the
likeness to are duckie, lambikins and chickie. And you're not
stupid, so put him out to graze. ...And behind your back.
My girlfriend -- He's honest, open and probably glad to have you
around. The next thing you know he'll be using your name!!
The wife -- If you're married then he probably thinks he owns you.
If you're not, he probably thinks you act like his wife, in which
case, he thinks he owns you.
My other half -- You complete the set - he's only half a man without
you. But it may make you feel as though you are losing your identity
somewhere.
The missus -- See The Wife.
My partner -- He's right on. Probably likes eating tofu and hugging
trees.
My significant other -- He's even more right on.
Probably thinks it's cruel to eat tofu and that trees need their own
space.
'er indoors -- He probably thinks all you're good at is housework.
You should get out a bit more - with your real friends !!
She who must be obeyed -- He thinks you're a nag, but probably
doesn't lift a finger around the house.
Her nibs -- Affectionate term for an authoritarian. You insisted
that he called you that. Didn't you ?
If you are a bloke reading this, then think again when
you are just about to call her a pet name. If you are a girl
reading this, then don't take it too seriously, it's only a bit of
fun :o)
Just give him a slap, that normally does the trick, hehehe. Even
better, get that big wooden rolling pin out!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
hi curly
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coffee pot revenge
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close air support-taking out a sniper
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Perfect Attitude
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Beer Run
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Outta Town
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young missionary on his first term in Africa was reading
his Bible in a clearing when a lion came up and laid down beside
him. As he quietly prayed for deliverance, another lion came out of
the bush and laid down by his other side. Convinced that this was a
test of his faith, he returned to reading his Bible. As soon as he
did, the two lions pounced on him and devoured him. Moral: Don't try
to read between the lions.
The family all got together recently, and were just hanging around
at Mom and Dad's. My sister was browsing through an almanac and
laughed at a little piece of trivia she had found in the book, which
she then read aloud; "Did you know that a woman's breasts increase
in size by 25% during sex?" My brother-in-law, a notorious joker,
shot back, "So, how come yours don't?" My father, from behind his
newspaper and without even a pause, replied, "You're not pumping
hard enough."
"Have you seen this commercial for Viagra? The guy comes home, he's
rushing around, he's cleaning the house, he's cooking dinner, he's
setting the table, he's putting flowers and candles out before his
wife gets home. Do you think women watching the commercial go,
'Never mind the sex. Where do I find a pill to get my husband to do
all of that?'" ---Jay Leno
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Egg Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was once a Scotsman and an Englishman who lived next door to
each other.
The Scotsman owned a hen and each morning would look in his garden
and pick up one of his hens eggs for breakfast.
One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an
egg in the Englishman's garden. He was about to go next door when he
saw the Englishman pick up the egg. The Scotsman ran up to the
Englishman and told him that the egg belonged to him because he
owned
the hen. The Englishman disagreed because the egg was laid on his
property.
They argued for a while until finally the Scotsman said, In my
family
we normally solve disputes by the following actions: "I kick you in
the balls and time how long it takes you to get back up, then you
kick me in the balls and time how long it takes for me to get up,
whomever gets up quicker wins the egg."
The Englishman agreed to this and so the Scotsman found his heaviest
pair of boots and put them on, he took a few steps back, then ran
toward the Englishman and kicked as hard as he could right between
his legs.
The Englishman fell to the ground clutching himself and howling in
agony for 30 minutes.
Eventually the Englishman stood up and said, "Now its my turn to
kick
you."
The Scotsman said, "Keep the damn egg."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny's neighbors had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was
born
without ears. When mother and new baby came home from the hospital,
Johnny's
family was invited over to see the baby. Before they left their
house,
Little Johnny's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby
had no
ears. His dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned
anything about
the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears he would get the
spanking
of his life when they came back home.
Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely.
When Johnny looked in the crib he said, "What a beautiful baby."
The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnny."
Johnny said, "He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little
hands, a
cute little nose and really beautiful eyes."
" Can he see?" asked Little Johnny.
"Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful; the Doctor said he
will have
20/20 vision."
"That's great", said Little Johnny, "cuz he'd be shit outta luck if
he
needed glasses."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Trivia Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your
stomach.
One human hair can support 3 kg (6.6 lb).
The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.
Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.
A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.
There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
Women blink twice as often as men.
The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.
Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing
still.
If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.
Women reading this will be finished now.
Men are still busy checking their thumbs.
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Breakfast Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A 6 year-old and 4 year-old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You
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says the 6 year-old. " I think it's about time we started cussing."
The 4
Year-olds nods his head in approval. The 6 year-old continues,
"When we go
downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with 'hell' and
you say
something with 'ass.' The 4 year-old agrees with enthusiasm. When
their
mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year-old what he wants
for
breakfast, he replies, "Aw hell Mom, I guess I'll have some
Cheerios."
WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor,
gets
up,and runs upstairs crying his eyes out with his mother in hot
pursuit,
slapping his rear with every step.
She locks him in his room and shouts,"You can stay in there until I
let you
out." She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year-old and
asks with
a stern voice, "An what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?" "I
don't
know,"
he blubbers, "but you can bet your fat ass it won't be Cheerios."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Country Inn
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NOAA - National Weather Service
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
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Qwik & Easy HTML
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Movie Clips
Regis Motoneige
http://www.buffalos
Regis Sautedu Bateau
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Reining
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Remember
http://www.buffalos
Re Open 911
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Momma Is Santa
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Morning Peepers
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Moshonov
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Mother's Day
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Home Alone
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Home Security
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Hoppalas Turnen
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
What did Newton's dick say to him after seeing a nude woman?
"Fuck you and your law of gravity, I'm goin UP."
Man was sobbing in a bar. His friend asked 'why?'
He said: "my wife makes me pay $ 100/- for every Fuck!" Friend said:
"you're lucky, she charges others $ 250/-"
Lady scolds her maid for inefficiency. Angry maid says, " at least
am
better than you in bed." Lady (amazed): " Did
boss tell you this?"
Maid: "No, the driver did."
What is common between a passionate kiss and a spider?
" Both lead to the undoing of the fly".
What is the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
" After a year, the dog is still excited to see you."
A wife complains to the doctor that her hubby is 300% impotent. The
doc
asks "how 300%?" She says: "you know about the 100%, and now he has
broken
his finger and burnt his tongue."
25 useless things in a man:
20 nails
2 nipples that don't milk
2 balls that you cannot play with. &
1 cock that does not lay egg.
Teacher: "why buffaloes get depressed after milking?
Student: "Ma'am, if your boobs are rubbed for 2 hours & then you are
left unfucked how would feel?
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Buggery
http://able2laugh.
Cupid's brother
http://able2laugh.
Bananna split
http://able2laugh.
Life Is all About Ass
http://www.buffalos
Pepsi Or Coke
http://www.buffalos
New Pogo Sticks
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Poem Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
COWBOY POETRY - BUYING A BRA
I ain't much for shopping,
Or for goin' into town
Except at cattle-shipping time,
I ain't too easily found.
But the day came when I had to go -
I left the kids with Ma.
But 'fore I left, she asked me,
"Would you pick me up a bra?"
So without thinkin' I said, "Sure,"
How tough could that job be?
An' I bent down and kissed her
An' said, "I'll be back by three."
Well, I done the things I needed,
But I started to regret
Ever offering to buy that thing -
I worked me up a sweat
I walked into the ladies shop
My hat pulled over my eyes,
I didn't want to take a chance
On bein' recognized.
I walked up to the sales clerk -
I didn't hem or haw -
I told that lady right straight out,
"I'm here to buy a bra."
From behind I heard some snickers,
So I turned around to see
Every woman in that store
Was a'gawkin' right at me!
"What kind would you be looking for?"
Well, I just scratched my head.
I'd only seen one kind before,
"Thought bras was bras," I said.
She gave me a disgusted look,
"Well sir, that's where you're wrong.
Follow me," I heard her say,
Like a dog, I tagged along.
She took me down this alley
Where bras was on display.
I thought my jaw would hit the floor
When I saw that lingerie.
They had all these different styles
That I'd never seen before
I thought I'd go plumb crazy
'fore I left that women's store.
They had bras you wear for eighteen hours
And bras that cross your heart.
There was bras that lift and separate,
And that was just the start.
They had bras that made you feel
Like you ain't wearing one at all,
And bras that you can train in
When you start off when you're small.
Well, I finally made my mind up -
Picked a black and lacy one -
I told the lady, "Bag it up,"
And figured I was done.
But then she asked me for the size
I didn't hesitate
I knew that measurement by heart,
"A six-and-seven-
"Six and seven eighths you say?
That really isn't right."
"Oh, yes ma'am! I'm real positive -
I measured them last night!"
I thought that she'd go into shock,
Musta took her by surprise
When I told her that my wife's bust
Was the same as my hat size.
"That's what I used to measure with,
I figured it was fair,
But if I'm wrong, I'm sorry ma'am."
This drew another stare.
By now a crowd had gathered
And they all was crackin' up
When the lady asked to see my hat,
To measure for the cup.
When she finally had it figured,
I gave the gal her pay.
Then I turned to leave the store,
Tipped my hat and said, "Good day."
My wife had heard the story
'fore I ever made it home.
She'd talked to fifteen women
Who called her on the phone.
She was still a-laughin'
But by then I didn't care.
Now she don't ask and I don't shop
For women's underwear.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The dentist pulls out a numbing needle to give the man a shot.
"No way! No needles. I hate needles" the patient said.
The dentist starts to hook up the nitrous oxide and the man
objects. "I
can't do the gas thing. The thought of having the gas mask on is
suffocating me!"
The dentist then asks the patient if he has any objection to
taking a
pill. "No objection," the patient says. "I'm fine with pills."
The dentist then returns and says, "Here's a Viagra tablet."
The patient says, "Wow! I didn't know Viagra worked as a pain
killer!"
"It doesn't" said the dentist, "but it's going to give you
something to
hold onto when I pull your toot
Calif Jack
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
According to a new article in Cosmopolitan magazine, they say the
position
you sleep in says a lot about you.
They say women who sleep on their sides are sensitive, women who
sleep
on their stomachs are competent, and women who sleep on their backs
with
their ankles behind their ears are very popular.
Calif Jack
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1551
The Game Revisited
The next day Katie asks: So can we go to another game?
Diana just glares at Katie.
BJ starts to get small and wants to hide.
Rudy wants to hide.
Sandi starts to thump her feet.
Katie: Gulp! So I guess not.... Maybe something less violent,
maybe
hockey?
Rudy: Yeah, hockey is legal, not so violent.
Diana: Hockey is okay.
BJ: Yeah it is fine.
Sandi: No problem with hockey.
BJ: So we need to stay away from things that have scantily clad
cheerleaders?
Diana: Right.
Rudy: Does that mean that Pops and I can't go to anymore strip
bars?
Diana: What? Where did BJ go?
Sandi: He zoomed out the front door.
Katie: Yep, never seen him move so fast.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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