THE POSTMAN'S CORNER FREE GATORADE http://www.tinyurl.com/beo46n Get Sonic Hearing & Turn Up The Volume On Your Life! The Bell Howell Silver Sonic XL has the ability to give you sonic hearing, easily amplifying sounds up to 60 feet away. Never miss out on a conversation, game or TV show ever again! Small and lightweight, it looks like a wireless cell phone earpiece so no one will know you have sonic hearing! Silver Sonic XL*s flexible ear mount easily adjusts to fit all ear shapes and sizes. Plus, the convenient volume control lets you easily control the intensity and volume of your Silver Sonic XL so you can set the level right where you want it. Silver Sonic XL is portable, SONIC HEARING! * Small and lightweight * Discreet and looks like cell phone ear adapter * Adjustable volume control * Flexible and comfortable fits left and right ear * 3 soft tips helps insure comfortable fit * Amplifies sounds up to 60 feet away! 60-Day Money Back Guarantee http://www.tinyurl.com/ckbsxb GOOD AFTERNOON POSTMAN FANS! The war department says we are going to the paint store today. I really dislike painting. No matter how careful I am, it seems almost impossible to keep from spilling a drop or two. I think painting is probably a communist plot made up by activists just to make my life miserable. I really admire the lifestyle of Turk the dog, aka Carlos the rat. He does not have to worry about such things as painting and he can spend the majority of his afternoon snoozing on the couch. In fact, the biggest challenge he experiences in life, I think, is to sit on the floor patiently begging without being a nuisance while we eat our dinner. He has learned that if he is too obnoxious, he will uncerimoniously be stuck in his cage. I think there is probably a lesson here. I'm thinking that if I am too obnoxious today, do you think the war department will dismiss me from painting and put me in my own cage? Have u suscribed yet to my friend Syde's joke list? If you have not, you should, its free and I recommend it! If you like the Postman's Corner, you will like Sydes! SYDESJOKES LIST A collection gathered over the past 10 years of the funniest pics, cartoons, video clips, commercials, MS Powerpoints, Flash games, and .PDF files you will ever see. Updated monthly with over 150 new hilarious items. to subscribe: send a blank email to: SydesJokes-subscribe@yahoogroups.com We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman THE COMICS Gods not seem happy with this virgin http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t031.html Iraqi hot water system http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t033.html behind the wheel http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t036.html Iraqi dump truck http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t037.html why it sucks to live in Alaska http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t038.html LETS GO TO THE MOVIES US Army drill team http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5101.html The Euro club http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5102.html levitating water http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5103.html motorcycle crash http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5104.html the dog the ball and the water http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5105.html the leapard and the lady http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5107.html INTERESTING STUFF write your name in chocolate http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2160.html evolution of videogames http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2162.html POWER POINT DISPLAYS why I don't like getting up in the morning-for the guys http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2166.html THINGS YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR DURING SURGERY... -Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog! -Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy. -Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that? -Oh no! I just lost my Rolex. -Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500 ml of this stuff before? -There go the lights again... -Ya' know... there's big money in kidneys... and this guy's got two of 'em. __________________ A gay man decides to get a tattoo on his buttocks. On arrival at the tattooist he spots a picture of the heavyweight boxer Evander Holyfield. 'Oh! He's my favourite darling. Can you do him on the cheek of my ass?' he asked the tattooist. So it was done. On the way out of the store he spotted another picture on the wall, this time Mike Tyson. 'Oh, good Lord!' the queer blurted out. 'I just adore Iron Mike! Can you do him on my other cheek?' So it was done. On returning home, his boyfriend says, 'Well, drop your trousers, give us a look.' He dropped his pants and showed his ass. His boyfriend gasped and replied, 'I think our relationship is over! Because I'm sure as hell aint getting in the ring with those two! _______________ Paddy met Mick in the street and Mick said, 'Paddy will you draw your bedroom curtains before making love to your wife in future?' 'Why?' Paddy asked. 'Because', said Mick 'all the street was laughing when they saw you making love yesterday.' Mick said,'Silly buggers - the laugh's on them. I wasn't home yesterday!!' ________________ 1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife: Marrying you has screwed up my life. 2. I see your face when I am dreaming. That's why I always wake up screaming. 3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot; This describes everything you are not. 4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss, But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed. 5. I thought that I could love no other -- that is until I met your brother. 6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's Empty and so is your head. ______________ He said... Do you love me just because my father left me a fortune? She said...Not at all honey, I would love you no matter who left you the money. He said... Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you in the worst way. She said...Well, you have succeeded. He said... You have a flat chest and need to shave your legs, have you ever been mistaken for a man? She said...No, have you? He said... Why do you women always try to impress us with your looks, not with your brains? She said...Because there is a bigger chance that a man is a moron than he is blind. He said... Let's go out and have some fun tonight. She said...Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on. ____________ Let's just say, *hypothetically, * that I decided to flog my dolphin last night just before retiring for the evening. And let's just say that when I went to pee in the morning, some dried manchowder might have dried up around the opening to my prick, blocking the flow of urine. And let's just say that that blockage, might have caused urine to back up inside my rod for a second or two, creating an unusually fierce spray of piss pressure once said blockage was busted. And let's just say that this high velocity piss-stream shot off at a 45-degree angle to the left because of said blockage. Let's just imagine that this 45-degree angle cause me to hit the ear of the cat who was perched not too far away, causing said cat to FLIP OUT, screech, and perform a 4-legged leap with a half-twist and quarter roll (difficulty of 6.8). Let's just say there may have been an empty glass resting on the back of the toilet, which may or may not have been tossed off the back of the toilet by said cat in the aforementioned jump. that glass, we might say, falls really close to my foot, lodging a small shard of glass into my left foot. This lodging of said glass shard may have caused me to immediately grab said left foot, creating a situation of hopping on one leg (while still relieving myself, mind you) on a tile surface which is becoming increasingly wetter by the second. Let's just say that it only takes a few hops on one foot on a slippery surface to end a physical event of such fashion. AND LET'S JUST SAY that once my foot was taken out from underneath me, that I crashed into the shower door, knocking it off it's tracks and causing me to fall in the shower and somehow ending in a back down, face up position, legs elevated, with blood running down my leg, pee streaming down my body to my neck, and a new head-welt with massive headache to boot. Let this be a lesson to you, next time you feel like rubbing your pole. __________________ FUN PAGES from Lorraine Jam XM http://tinyurl.com/crujxc Crazy One Way Street Signs http://tinyurl.com/blvoed SydesJokes list T-Mobile Dance http://www.sydesjokes.com/extra/link000005.html How Engineers View The US Bailout http://www.sydesjokes.com/extra/link000003.html Dilbert Virtualization http://www.sydesjokes.com/extra/link000004.html Wire Cutters http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001488.html Skeleton Puppeteer http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001489.html ______________ BUFFALO Bill This Kid Deserves An Oscar http://www.buffaloschips.com/62302.htm Tolerant Cat http://www.buffaloschips.com/62303.htm PAPA Thorn Change is inevitable http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=technology-advances.jpg THAT'S ALL FOLKS have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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