Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Birthday cake and pizza was not good to my weight loss plan
and I found myself with a gain of 3 pounds this week. After the
TOPS meeting I joined some of the group, including my mom
at the Country Kitchen for some fried shrimp, a meal that I can't
get Sandy to fix. In the restaurant's sign as we came in was a
sign saying, " On Thursday's Kids Eat For Free " which I mentioned
to my mom. When the waitress came around she asked the
waitress if I got a free meal and the waitress replied that I would
have to order from the children's menu. I told her that I would go
with the adult's menu instead but she did bring me a green crayon
and a child's place mat and I worked out the puzzles on it while
I waited for the food to come. These are a great group of ladies
and the conversation is always entertaining.
I realize that we are having a problem with the website being slow
loading right now while you are trying to view the movies and the
problem began about the 20th. I have been in poking around and
haven't found the problem yet because all of their diagnostics tell
me that the server is running properly. Nancy has promised to dig
into it now that her test is behind her but it will be a day or two
before
she gets caught up with her own groups. If you don't get Nerdy
here's
what she had to say about the test:
Pretty sure I passed my test yesterday.. Actually I would be rather
shocked if I didn't! This was a test made mandatory by the
state/health dept to certify us for food safety.. I had been
certified years ago down in WI when I was working at a hospital. It
combines common sense, (don't keep a bottle of bleach next to your
bottle of water even with names written on them) neatness, (if you
chop your finger off into the chili clean it up right away so it
doesn't become a bigger mess) personal hygiene, ( I don't even have
to go there, you already know!) food knowledge, (chicken on the
bottom shelf, lettuce on top, 165 is well done, and undercooked food
contains worms) with pest management.. Okay.. I got all that down..
Being controlled by the state of course cost money.. Just under $200
an employee so not passing would have not been quickly forgotten..
But for the money they sent out a nice sized packet to help us
along.. We got them about a month ago, I opened mine Sunday morning.
First page; time and place, study this chart, read this thick book,
take this practice test, and bring a pencil.. I took a look at their
chart and discovered they expect me to know every kind of food borne
illness, the main carrier, and it's symptoms.. I got up to Anisakis
(a parasite) carried by fish such as cod, haddock, and herring.. The
symptoms include coughing up worms and I really could have lived my
whole life without ever knowing that and had been happy! That was
enough learning for me on a Sunday!
I spent the next two days memorizing my viruses, bacteria's, fungi,
and of course those lovely little parasites! I have always made it a
habit to make sure I don't poison anybody or even give them a
bellyache but now I have a certificate that says if I do it is not
an accident because I know better.. There goes that legal defense. I
had the perfect crime! Oh well.. At least now I know far more than I
ever wanted to know.. My brain still hurts..
Nancy
I have more to say but this is a little long so I wish you a great
weekend.
buffalo
BTW I put up a few videos from buffalosjokes today that seem to be
working
just fine.
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An Irish farmer named Seamus had a car accident.
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Seamus responded: 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just
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just by her groans. Shortly after the accident, a policeman on a
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went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her condition, he
took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.
Then the policeman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked
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'Now what the $*%~ would you say?'
Gordon
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
What do you call a woman who can suck a golf ball through a garden
hose?
Darling.
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I met her at a disco. She was a '2' at '10' and a '10' at '2.
After the lavish wedding reception, the newlyweds retired to their
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Stan Kegel
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Chinese Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
CHINESE SICK LEAVE: "I NO COME WORK TODAY!!!"
Hung Chow calls into work and says, "Hey, I no
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really sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt,
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The boss says, "You know something, Hung Chow, I
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Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. "I do what
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You got nice house."
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Buried Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they
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Neighbors feared him. They believed he practiced black magic
because
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The old man liked the fact that he was feared.
To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 98. His
wife had a closed casket at the wake. After the burial, she went
straight to the local bar and began to party, as if there was no
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you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way up and out of
the grave and come back to haunt you for the rest of your life?'
The wife put down her drink and said, 'Let him dig. I had him buried
upside down.'
Darn women they think of everything!!
Bob
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The sex-ed class was dismissed early when order couldn't be restored
after the teacher stated that simultaneous orgasms were mostly a
stroke of luck.
The call girl confided to her friend, "I'm afraid I'm going to have
to
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Good girls blush during sex scenes in movies.
Bad girls know they could do it better.
The locale was a nudist colony. The boy and the girl were strolling
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The quickest way to clear out a men's restroom is to say, "Nice
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Calling a nurse he knew after midnight, John said, "I really am
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Impotence: Nature's way of saying, "No hard feelings."
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A father found his small son looking very unhappy.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
The boy said, "I can't get along with your wife."
Bad weather meant I was stuck overnight at O'Hare airport in
Chicago. Along with hotel accommodations, the airline issued
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after dinner I presented my meal ticket to the cashier.
"Is this chit worth $10?" I asked.
Looking up nervously, the cashier responded, "I'm sorry,
sir. Was the meal that bad?"
Patricia
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Face of Beauty
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carolyn w/ Could This Be Magic~ The Dubs
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Movie Clips
Frank Caliend on Letterman
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friend sare for
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From Metcalfe Impossible
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Funny kids
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Obama Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
10 Other Things You Did Not Know About President Obama
10. Is considered the best President since George W. Bush.
9. Always checks to make sure his tires are inflated on Air Force
One to get better gas milage.
8. Has two daughters whose future he's ruining with over-spending.
7. Originally thought the "Stimulus Bill" had nothing to do with
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6. Is an expert at playing the world's smallest violin.
5. Speaks fluent English, Spanish, Italian, and Teleprompter.
4. Can read and control minds with his good looks.
3. Secretly wished that when he promised "Change" that people would
think he meant several quarters.
2. Once thought the country of Hungary was full of hungry people.
1. Hopes that the Congress will accept his new plan for Afghanistan:
sending in Chuck Norris.
Heather
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shaking
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Peeking
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K-Mart
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Horny Toad
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Judgement
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Absolute New York
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Abuse Of Power
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A dapper young bachelor, Paul,
Quite gay, he could be found in all
The best public loos
And never refuse
Your call on the wall of the stall.
* * * *
There once was a weirdo named Cox
Who loved to sniff everyone's socks.
Said he: "Sure, it's stinky,
But don't call me kinky
I'll send you back home in a box!"
Karl K
There was a young person named Willie
Whose actions were what you'd call silly;
He went to a ball
Dressed in nothing at all
Pretending to represent Chile.
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One Used Wife, 1959 Model
Needs muffler, as it is currently VERY LOUD. Intake valve is stuck
in the open position.
Rear end needs major overhaul. A crack there has grown monstrously
large.
Needs re-wiring: many wires are currently crossed.
Lots of little dings in the body, which have been
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Needs re-upholstering: carpet has turned a dingy gray.
Needs front-end work: headlights are too close to the ground and
fenders are too far apart.
May not pass emissions test, as it currently produces clouds of
foul, malodorous gases on a regular basis.
Heater works great. Hot air is never in short supply.
Asking $500 or trade for 1985 model.
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get
her
tomatoes to turn red. One day while taking a stroll she came upon a
gentlemen neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of huge
red
tomatoes. The woman asked the gentlemen, "What do you do to get your
tomatoes red?" The gentlemen responded, "Well, twice a day I stand
in
front of my tomato garden and expose myself, and my tomatoes turn
red
from blushing so much." The woman was so impressed; she decided to
try
doing the same thing to her tomato garden to see if it would work.
So
twice a day for two weeks she exposed herself to her garden hoping
for
the best. One day the gentlemen was passing by and asked the woman,
"By the way, how did you make out? Did your tomatoes turn red?" "No"
she replied, "but my cucumbers are enormous."
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1554
A Fine Wining and Dining Experience
Waiter: You menu Madam.
Tami: I would like a T-Bone Steak with a my sides being corn and
Waiter: The corn madam, corn on the cob or fresh corn?
Tami: Fresh would be fine.
Waiter: White corn or yellow corn?
Tami: Yellow.
Waiter: The second side please madam.
Tami: I think potatoes would be fine.
Waiter: Baked, Steamed, fried, mashed, or Broiled?
Tami: Mashed would be okay.
Waiter: With or without gravy?
Tami: With gravy.
Waiter: You meal comes with a salad.
Tami: Oh no!
Walter: Oh yes... the waiter unfolds a list of salad choices.
To be continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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