THE POSTMAN'S CORNER! Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. -- Billy Crystal Introducing WRIGLEY 5 GUM in two NEW FLAVORS! Get Your FREE* 10-PACK Sample! Not Your Ordinary Chewing Gum. Trendsetters prefer the sleek, pocket-sized, powerful WRIGLEY 5! With killer flavor combos and cutting-edge packaging, it's no wonder WRIGLEY 5 is dubbed the gum of the future. Enjoy a blast of long-lasting irresistible flavor with WRIGLEY 5 SUGAR-FREE GUM now available in Spring Break Giveaway! Vote for your favorite destination and get a FREE $500 Orbitz(R) Gift Card Last spring break you didn't get to go... but this year...YES YOU CAN! Tell us which spring break destination is your favorite and you'll receive a FREE $500 Orbitz(R) Gift Card! Act now and start preparing yourself for the spring break vacation of your dreams http://www.tinyurl.com/dbc4z8 Click On Health Get a FREE guide to controlling diabetes Newly Diagnosed Diabetic? Or Simply Trying to Control Blood Sugar? Receive a FREE guide with helpful information, tips, and product reviews. http://www.tinyurl.com/c9ltha NEW! SOFTSOAP Foam Works for Kids - FREE* 3-PACK! No more fussing before meal time. Make hand washing smooth sailing with NEW SOFTSOAP FOAM WORKS specially designed for kids! Just pump the handle and the gentle liquid soap magically transforms to foam. Protect your little ones from germs the fun and easy way! Samples available in 2 playful themes: http://www.tinyurl.com/anco8l GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS! I was outside the other day trying to figure out how that nasty critter skunk got in our house. After some extensive research, I did manage to find a small hole that had a distinctive "wiff". It was in the foundation on the back porch. I had taken some rather thin plywood, it was probably quarter or three eighths and some nails and covered it up. Yesterday, I'd seen how "something" had been nawing at the plywood. Wild animals can have some pretty sharp teeth and claws, so, I went in search of something a little stronger. Unable to find a suitable piece of metal in the shed, I finally decided that the "war department's" cookie sheet pan was probably as close as I could get to such an item. You may laugh at my redneck ways, but that cookie sheet fit very nicely and there is no critter gonna naw through that thing. I knew there would be hell to pay if she came home and found out her cookie sheet was missing. So I went up to the deparment store and bought a couple. When she came home, I got a kiss and a hug out of the deal cuz I bought her new pans:) It is getting warm here in West Michigan. The snow is fading. In fact, there are only patches left where the snow plow had left huge piles during the winter. Tomorrow it is supposed to be almost 50 degrees! That is a good thing because I have fans blowing through out the house in an effort to rid the place of skunk odor. I hate to think what this is gonna do to my heat bill as the front and back doors are open to allow a cross breeze. Turk the dog, aka Carlos the rat does not like it much either. With all the breeze from the fans, lately he curls up on the chair with my blanket and gives me a sad face when I try to get him to move. Come to think of it, he does that anyway, regardless of the temperatures:) Went over to the gas station the other afternoon and there was some fool gassing up his motorcycle. I admit, it was a nice afternoon, but it wasn't THAT nice. Even a dedicated cycle rider like me has at least some intelligence to know that it still has to get a little bit warmer yet. Well, my intelligence may be debateable. However it is clear to me that very soon, its going to be beautiful cycle riding weather again! Can't wait! We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman COMICS I'm not sure http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s041.html sex test for rednecks http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s042.html poor man's vacation http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s043.html egg rolls and rice http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s045.html the difference http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s046.html transitions http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s047.html that's one powerful bidet http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s049.html LETS GO TO THE MOVIES wrappy's song http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5053.html squares and boxes, chimps and banannas http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5054.html badmitton and boobs http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5057.html chew your food http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5059.html INTERESTING STUFF silly Japanese game show http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2123.html you bet your life http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2124.html struck by lightning http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2125.html we cannot all be famous http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2126.html Irish blessings http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2127.html everything's amazing http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2128.html today's stockmarket http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2129.html 11 things you wish you could say after bad sex http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2130.html ____________ POWER POINT DISPLAYS the space shuttle http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2131.html what would you do? http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2132.html COOL PICS Two buddies, Lyle and Larry, are getting very drunk at a Bar when suddenly Larry throws up all over himself. 'Oh, no... Now me wife will kill me!' Lyle says, 'Don't worry, pal. Just tuck a twenty in your breast pocket and tell your wife that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty dollars for the dry cleaning bill.' So they stay for another couple of hours and get even drunker. Eventually Larry stumbles home and his wife starts to give him a bad time. 'You reek of alcohol and you've puked all over yourself! My God, you're disgusting!' Speaking very carefully so as not to slur his words, Larry says, 'Nowainaminit, I can e's plain everythin. Itsh snot wha jewthink. I only had a cupla drrrinks. But thiss other - guy got ssick on me... He had one too many and he juss koudin hold hizz liquor. He said hes was verrry sorry an' gave me twennie bucks for the cleaning bill!' His wife looks in the breast pocket and says, 'But this is forty bucks.' 'Oh, yeah... I almos' fergot, he shhhit in my pants, too.' ______________ Mary: I wish I'd known more about midlife before I got here! Jill: What do you mean? Mary: Well, I lost my sex drive years ago. I had no idea it could be menopause! I thought it was just because I was married! ______________ A farmer asked a friend to recommend an attorney to defend him against a charge of bestiality. "I know a great trial lawyer," the fellow said, "but he's expensive and doesn't know how to pick a jury. I know another lawyer," he continued, "who's not a great trial lawyer, but he's cheap and really knows how to pick a jury." The farmer settled on the cheap attorney, but immediately had second thoughts when the key witness, a neighbor, began his testimony. "I saw Jed mount his goat from behind," he said, "and when he was finished, I saw the goat turn around and lick Jed's pecker." The accused farmer was devastated and had all but given up hope of acquittal when a juror in overalls whispered to the fellow next to him, "You know, a good goat will do that _____________ Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there any more. Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there calls you a fat slut. _______________ "My husband and I found this great new method of birth control that really, really works... Every night before we go to bed, we spend an hour with our kids." - Roseanne __________ FUN PAGES from Lorraine Holiday Express http://tinyurl.com/ca27ne Jane's Hotel http://tinyurl.com/d992an BUFFALO Bill The Chronicles Of The Oba Messiah http://www.buffaloschips.com/acccdd.htm Then God Made Woman http://www.buffaloschips.com/axxss.htm PAPA Thorn Light fruit snack http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=008Snacksx008.jpg Creative waterskier http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=008sports-waterski.jpg Stuck to the cold pole http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=008stuck2pole.jpg THAT'S ALL FOLKS! Have a nice day! FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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