Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Yahoogroups has been acting a little strange lately and spitting
out an occasional extra copy of our jokes or the Scuttlebutt. This
has something to do with new features that are being introduced
to all of the groups and some being moved to new servers. Even
though I have the utmost faith in Yahoo to get everything back up
and running as quickly as possible, I did download up to date
copies of the members lists for all of our groups so if something
happened I would be able to find you again.
Haven't heard from Nancy for a few days as she has been preparing
for a certification exam in safe food handling. Needless to say
Nancy
is a great cook and no one has ever died from something she cooked
unless she planned it beforehand. Like all of our family she waited
till
a few days before the test to cram for it and I could tell that her
mind
wasn't on our conversation when I called her. I told he that I
thought Buffy's
computer was infected and she said, " Sounds like Salmonella, there
is
a lot of that going around chat rooms right now." Anyhow good luck
Sis,
and I hoped you aced your test.
Speaking of Buffy and physical contamination of foods, when Buffy
was
working at McDonald's she had a customer who really upset her one
night and she decided she was going to get even with the guy. She
decided she was going to put a razor in his burger when he came in
next time but she was having a hard time figuring out how to fit her
rechargeable Lady Norelco into a Big Mac.
Enjoy the chips and enjoy Spring Springing...
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Matters had progressed to the point where the freshman and his date
were naked in the motel bed when the girl had a change of heart.
"I suppose you're going to tell me now that you're waiting for 'Mr.
Right'," he said dejectedly.
"That's a silly old romantic notion," laughed the coed. "I'm just
waiting for Mr. Big."
Jill: Do you define an "ex" as "someone you married"?
Mary: Heavens no! An "ex" is "anyone who spent the night more than
once and whose name I can remember."
A car sped off the highway, went through the guard-rail, rolled down
a cliff, bounced off a tree and finally shuddered to a stop.
A passing motorist, who had witnessed the entire ccident, helped the
miraculously unharmed driver out of the wreck.
"Good lord, mister," he gasped, "are you drunk?"
"Of course I am, you idiot!" said the man, brushing the dirt from
his
suit. "What the hell do you think I am -- a fucking stunt driver?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
steroids and tongues
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spread eagle
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where's my bucket
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Tit Mans Dream
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Got Him By the Handle
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86 Rules Of Boozing
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kodak Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why Men Should Be Built By Kodak
They would automatically shut off when they weren't being used.
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Phallic Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jill was a knockout but alas, she also was virtually brainless.
Fortunately, this was no drawback as far as John's plans for the
evening were concerned. He was delighted when she agreed to come up
to his apartment for a nightcap.
As he prepared the drinks, full of anticipation, Jill explored the
apartment, stopping now and then to examine a painting or a book
title, she didn't quite
understand. At last she stopped dead in front of his fireplace.
"What on earth is that?" Jill asked pointing to a carved wooden
object lying on the mantel.
"Oh, that. It's African," John replied. "They use them in their
fertility rites. It's a phallic symbol."
"Oh, I see." stated Jill demurely. "I'd hate to tell you what it
looks like!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have a friend who insists that he recently met a girl who is so
naïve that when he asked her if she knew the difference between a
screw and a Caesar salad she said she had no idea. "Did you explain
it to her?" we asked. "Hell no," said our friend. "But I have lunch
with her every day."
Awakening the morning after the drunken orgy, the god of war was
stretching sleepily when he noticed a lovely Valkyrie standing in
the
doorway. "Good morning," he said. "I'm Thor." "You're thor?" she
replied. "I'm tho thor it hurth to thit down."
The only thing better than the sleep of the just is the sleep of the
just-after.
The young doctor was taking his wife out one evening, when a pretty
girl smiled and spoke to him. The wife scenting an earlier love
affair, inquired: "Who is the lady, dear?" "Oh, just a girl I have
met professionally.
profession? Yours or hers?"
"How is it I find you sleeping with my daughter?" stormed the
outraged father. "I ask you, you little bastard, how is it?" "Why,
just great, sir," replied the calm young man, 'just great!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Everyone was surprised when fastidious, virginal Percy lispingly
announced his intention to wed. "What, you, Percy?" was the amazed
reaction. Some skeptics made bets that he wouldn't go through with
it, but Percy fooled them. He even went on a honeymoon. Upon his
return, one of the losers bitingly asked, "Well, is your wife
pregnant?" "I certainly hope so," said Percy with great sincerity.
"I
wouldn't want to go through that again!"
A woman went to see her psychiatrist. "I'm really concerned," she
said. "The other day I found my daughter and the boy next door
together, naked, examining each other's bodies and giggling." The
psychiatrist smiled. "That's nothing to worry about, it's pretty
normal." "Well, I don't know," said the woman, "It worries me. It
worries my daughter's husband, too!"
A sexy lady meet a handsome young man in a pub, after some drinks
and
a little tipsy the sexy lady said to the young man, "My mouth is
like
a loud speaker, my two breasts are for tuning, left one is for
tuning
the channel AM or FM and my right breast is for tuning bass and
treble depending which mode you want." The young man was aroused by
the young lady _expression, and said to the lady, "I don't believe
it." Young lady said, "You can try it if you want." Young man said,
"OK come to my hotel room and prove it to me." They agreed and both
holding hands and headed for the hotel room. Upon entering the room
the young lady undressed herself and soon the young man start
feeling
the left nipple for AM/FM fine-tuning. After a while nothing happen.
He changed to the right nipple and start rubbing with greater
pressure. Again, nothing happened. The young man soon gave up and
ask
the lady, "Hello sweetie, after I have tuned your AM/FM and treble/
bass nipples there are no response." The sexy lady replied, "You
forgot to PLUG IN your power."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Golf Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
GOLF TERMS
1. "Paris Hilton" - An expensive hole
2. "James Joyce" - An impossible read
3. "Rock Hudson" - Looked straight but wasn't
4. "Cuban" - Needed one more revolution
5. "Elton John" - Big bender that lips the rim
6. "Lou Gehrig" - A dead yank
7. "Adolf Hitler" - A hookenfukker
8. "Saddam Hussein" - From one bunker straight into another
9. "John Kennedy, Jr." - Didn't make it over the water
10. "Yasser Arafat" - Ugly and in the sand
11. "Kate Winslett" - Little bit fat but otherwise perfect
12. "Elephant's ASS" - High and stinky
13. "Rodney King" - Overclubbed
14. "O.J. Simpson" - Got away with it
15. "Princess Grace" - Should have taken a driver
16. "George Bush" - Steadily fading
17. "Condom" - Safe, but didn't feel very good
18. "Brazilian" - Shaved the hole
19. "Anna Kornikova" - Looks great, but unlikely to get results
20. "Rush Limbaugh" - Too far to the right
21. "Nancy Pelosi" - Too far to the left
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/I Hear Thy Voice
http://www.silveran
Born Again American
http://www.bornagai
Sweet Tators
http://www.frontier
A Pittance of time... Via Shangy
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Twenty Ways To Save On Groceries via Wesley
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Lego Via Wesley
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VOLKNER MOBIL RV!
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
THE WORLD GALLERY TUTORIAL LIBRARY
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"FREEDOM CASTLE" GETAWAY NEWSGROUP
news:alt.discuss.
Skype Via Wesley
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Does your computer seem to be running slower than usual? Well, if
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Movie Clips
Alan King Survived By
http://www.buffalos
Don't Look Away When I'm Talking To You
http://www.buffalos
Durex Funny Commercial
http://www.buffalos
Elevator Candid Camera
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River Dance Monkies
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Salt Water
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Scuba Kitty
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Shooting Star
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Slicing Fruit With Playing Cards
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Smooth Roll
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An attractive young med student was having coffee with her
girlfriend
and complaining about her fiance's extraordinary sexual appetites.
"I
barely have the strength to come to work in the morning," she
murmured. "And now that he's on his vacation, things will probably
be
even more intense when he gets back." "How long is he off?" the
assistant inquired. "It varies," she replied. "But usually it's just
long enough to smoke a cigarette."
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, "Mommy, can
little girls have babies?" "No," said his mom, "Of course not."
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to
his
friends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!
When the woman learned her husband had taken a mistress, she asked,
"Does this mean that you've had enough of me?" "No, sweetie," he
replied. "It means that I haven't had enough of you."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sorry
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Suicide Kit
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<a href=" http://www.buffalos
I'll Be Home Soon
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Dinner is served!
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Drink Up!
http://able2laugh.
Freaky sex (naughty alert)
http://able2laugh.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Said A Classicist Down In Peru,
''When In Love You Can Best Follow Through,
And Show Your Devotion,
With The Helical Motion,
Of The Great Archimedean Screw.''
____________
There Once Was A Girl From Peru,
Who Didn't Know What She Should Do.
So She Sat On Her Ass,
And Smoked Up Some Grass,
And Now She's As Ugly As You!
____________
There Once Was A Man From Peru,
Who Decided To Learn The Kazoo.
He Practiced At Home
With A Tissue And Comb,
But Inhaled, And Was Groomed Through And Through.
Yer Hillbilly friend in TN...
Ross
PROUD father of an American Soldier
~~~~~~~~~~~~
EZ Cracker - Crack, Separate and Strip Eggs
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
My aunt's young family with two boys ages 3 and 4, had
attended church one spring morning.
As they left the church the pastor said, "Well, look at
you boys, all bright eyed & bushy tailed!"
Joe the older boy loudly announced, "We don't got tails;
we've got Dinkys!"
My aunt was mortified.
Patricia
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: Why do men have assholes?
A: So they won't be total pricks.
Q: Why do Japanese Sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
A: So you can tell them apart from feminists.
Patricia
I hate sex in the movies!
I Tried it once..
Lost all my Milk Duds,
Broke two arm rests,
The seat folded and
pinched my butt.
Our drinks spilled and
The ice chilled the mood.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ivory Brites
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1553
The Dining Experience Cont.
Tami: What do you mean domestic or foreign water?
Waiter: Just that, we do have both.
Tami: Oh give me domestic.
The waiter then unfurls a two foot long list of different types of
water and presents them to Tami: Please choose which one?
Tami: Ack!!! I don't care...Ozarka would be fine.
Waiter: Would you like it room temperature, chilled, or iced?
Tami: With ice.
Waiter: Would you like the ice, cubed or crushed.
Tami: This is wearing me down...cubed.
Waiter: Fine, I will have your water directly.
Tami: I am exhausted.
Ring Ring:
Tami: Hello!
Rob: I will be late...go ahead and order dinner.
Tami: Okay.
Waiter: Here is your water Ma'am.
Tami: I think I will order now.
To be continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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