THE POSTMAN'S CORNER Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you FREE* SAMPLE of NEW COLGATE MAX FRESH Whitening Toothpaste Breath strips & whitening toothpaste combine to create COLGATE MAX FRESH! COLGATE MAX FRESH is your daily anti-cavity toothpaste with the added benefits of teeth-whitening agents plus mini breath strips that dissolve instantly inside your mouth for a lasting fresh breath experience. http://www.tinyurl.com/ypnnnf NEW! CLEAN & CLEAR MORNING BURST - FREE* SAMPLES! Rejuvinate your skin while enlivening your senses while with NEW CLEAN & CLEAR Morning Burst. Uniquly formulated with nutrient-rich bursting beads, Morning Burst Foaming Cleanser & Facial Scrub energize your skin with Vitamin C & Ginseng, and release an invigorating citrus fragrance to quicken you for the day ahead! http://www.tinyurl.com/ddrup6 ST. IVES Swiss Formula - FREE* SAMPLES Get ST. IVES SWISS FORMULA - FREE*! Blended with the finest botanicals & ingredients by expert herbalists it's the naturally effective way to improve the health & beauty of your skin. Made with pure Swiss glacial water and skin-nourishing vitamins & antioxidants ST. IVES MOISTURIZING BODY WAH and ST. IVES VITAMIN E THERAPY LOTION soften and nourish skin while revitalizing your senses with the refreshing scent of CUCUMBER MELON. http://www.tinyurl.com/c42ef3 COPPERTONE Continuous Spray Sunscreen, FREE* SAMPLE Coppertone Sport Continuous Spray Sunscreen is a must have for the summer. This PABA-Free, ultra sweatproof suncreen bonds to your skin on contact and won't run into your eyes and sting. http://www.tinyurl.com/2a39dn GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS! I trust I am not boring all of you with the epic "skunk saga". That's ok I guess. (If you are, you don't have to read it. hehehe.) Anyways, we are making progress. Things are getting better. And sometimes you gotta look for the good things that come of it,too. For example, "The war department" decreed that all her nighties stank to high heaven even after washing, and decided to toss all of them out. All except one...My daughter works at Victoria Secrets and bought her one of those black, slinky and lacy things for her last birthday. And she decided that one was wearable and kept it. I CERTAINLY have no objections to that. And I gotta say, she's still a mighty good lookin old lady:) She keeps making comments that she needs to go shoppin for P. J.s . But every time she does, I always manage to distract her with something else that needs to be done. Personally, I kinda like the black ones from Vickies:) The weather took a turn this morning. After teasing us with a couple of really nice days, it tumbled down to about 30 degrees. and I saw a couple snow flakes in the air when I took Turk the dog out this am. Very wendy too. It would be a great day for Charlie Brown to take his kite out,if it was not so cold. Reminds me of when "the war department" and me were dating, years ago. We didn't have much money then, (some things never change) So, often, when we went on dates, we went kite flying. It is a tradition we still maintain to this day. And we look forward to it each spring. We always go over to Lake Michigan at least once or twice a season, stop at the kite shop to find the newest and coolest model. and spend a day relaxing in the sunshine. A little cold for that today, but very soon it will be a welcome passtime again. You ought to try it sometime. Put away your cell phones, laptops, and Ipods and let the breeze work its magic. BTW. I do want to welcome a new editor to our list of guest editors. His name is Syde and he publishes Sydes jokelist. We will be publishing his links from time to time and I am sure he will be a welcome edition! He has a great joke website, and if you do not subscribe to his daily rag, I highly recommend it! You'll find his links at the bottom of this issue with the other guest editors! We do hope you enjoy today's issue!! Cordially Martin aka the postman ________ THE COMICS in the morning http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t011.html a compromise http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t012.html sorry I'm late http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t013.html Caveman Bob http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t015.html frequent fucker http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t016.html experts say http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t017.html why so angry http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t018.html this won't help http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t019.html bad for your health http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t020.html _______________ LETS GO TO THE MOVIES The Rock Obama-Saturday night Live http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5083.html The elephant and the tourists http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5086.html human animation http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5085.html why you should tidy up http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5087.html transformation http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5088.html and he is 7 years old http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5089.html COOL STUFF ST. PATRICK'S DAY COGNAC GLASSES (LINKABKE) http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2157.html We're Coming Home Tomorrow (For Our Military) http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2156.html Webb's Juke Box Favorites http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2155.html f-16 with an engine out http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2154.html fearless baby ducks http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2153.html COOL PICS Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes first. Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career. I am having an out of money experience. Lord, If I can't be skinny, please let all my friends be fat. The Meek shall inherit the earth... ...after we're through with it. ________________ A Palestinian suspect was being grilled by Israeli police. "Honest, I'm not a suicide bomber," he said. "I didn't say I wanted to blow myself up so I could sleep with 72 virgins. All I said was I'm dying to get laid!" ____________ A woman said to her friend, "I don't know what to do. My husband is such a mess maker that you can't imagine. He doesn't put anything in its place, I am always going around the house organizing things." The friend says, "Take a tip from me. The first week after we were married I told my husband firmly, 'Every glass and plate that you take, wash when you are done and put back in its place.'" The first woman asked, "Did it help?" Her friend said, "I don't know. I haven't seen him since." _________________ I was talking on the phone with my son, who was stationed in Hawaii with the Air Force. He was explaining how the troops were learning to scuba-dive. "We used the buddy system," he said, "and occasionally dived into shark-infested waters." Listening on the extension, my daughter asked, "What do you do if you see a shark?" My son said, "Swim faster than my buddy." ___________ TO MY DEAR WIFE: During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days. The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often: 54 times the sheets were clean 17 times it was too late 49 times you were too tired 20 times it was too hot 15 times you pretended to be asleep 22 times you had a headache 17 times you were afraid of waking the baby 16 times you said you were too sore 12 times it was the wrong time of the month 19 times you had to get up early 9 times you said weren't in the mood 7 times you were sunburned 6 times you were watching the late show 5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo 3 times you said the neighbors would hear us 9 times you said your mother would hear us Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory because: 6 times you just laid there 8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with 7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished 1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move KEEP READING....... TO MY DEAR HUSBAND: I think you have things a little confused. Here are the reasons you didn't get more than you did: 5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat 36 times you did not come home at all 21 times you didn't cum 33 times you came too soon 19 times you went soft before you got in 38 times you worked too late 10 times you got cramps in your toes 29 times you had to get up early to play golf 2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls 4 times you got it stuck in your zipper 3 times you had a cold and your nose was running 2 times you had a splinter in your finger 20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day 6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book 98 times you were too busy watching TV Of the times we did get together: The reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the sheets. I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was, 'Would you prefer me on my back or kneeling?' The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to breathe. ____________ FUN PAGES from Lorraine Blackbeard's Island Deluxe http://tinyurl.com/cf5nkd Trivia Machine http://tinyurl.com/bmkd7r BUFFALO BILL Fruit Cake Lady http://www.buffaloschips.com/sakjakjf.htm PAPA Thorn Chocolate swirl dessert http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=009Dessertx016.jpg Syde's jokes World Air Traffic Over 24 Hours http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001483.html Sauna Thermometer http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001482.html THAT' ALL FOLKS Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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