THE POSTMAN'S CORNER Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it! If you're looking for the cheapest gas prices, start here-with a FREE $500 Mobil™, Shell™ or Exxon™ Gas Card http://www.tinyurl.com/bnxlbw FREE* NESTLE Toll House Morsels We find NESTLE TOLL HOUSE Morsels to be a hands-down household staple. With your FREE* 6-PACK ASSORTMENT of morsels you'll get a variety of delicious flavors perfect for preparing hundreds of scrumptious recipes! http://www.tinyurl.com/bdtolw INBOX DOLLARS Get paid to: read email refer your friends complete offers play games shop on line join free! http://www.tinyurl.com/3cfro4 Get 1 Box of KIX Cereal, FREE*! Start your morning strong with a FREE* box of KIX! Kids love its great-tasting, lightly-sweetened, crispy puffs of corn and parents love its nutritional value. http://www.tinyurl.com/2dt2yj GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS! Well it has been a challenging weekend! The postman and the postman clan, including Turk the dog and 35 loads of laundry, formed a caravan and we all went to stay at my oldest daughter's one bedroom apartment for the weekend. That was fun. NOT!!! In the meantime, the restoration company ran their special ozone machine in the house to rid our home of that nasty skunk odor. Now its scrubbing walls and cleaning carpet. We spent a small fortune at the laundry mat. I shucked out more quarters Saturday than a gambler in a casino would have. We have been washing everything we own, cutting it with vinegar. The task was just too large for our single washer and dryer. And then there is the dry cleaning bill. (shudder) This afternoon and tomorrow I'll be tearing apart the boards on the front porch. That is where the skunk apparently let loose. And I'll either be scrubbing everything down with pine sol, or simply throwing out the lumber and buying new. We will probably tear up some of the carpet that is the worst, and clean the rest of it with good ole Stanly Steamer. And a couple of the rooms we will be painting. But it does smell a lot better already. And soon, the postman's home will be fresh and clean once again! I suppose I could have published this weekend, But our two laptops are very slow and gunky. And after all that time at the laundry, I was not much in the mood for it. I spent a lot of time with one of the Harry Bosch detective novels, The Concrete Blonde. Its a pretty good read if you are into that sort of book. It's good to be back again.! We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially, Martin aka the postman ____________ THE COMICS wheels on meals http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s052.html make love to the camera http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s053.html sexy and fun http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s054.html don't shake it http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s055.html what I want in a boyfriend http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s057.html the financial crisis http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s058.html the right channel http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s059.html bad day for the flasher. http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s060.html _____________ LETS GO TO THE MOVIES St. Paddy's day dance http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5062.html everything is possible with training http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5063.html donuts, good guys and bad guys http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5065.html INTERESTING STUFF a ride in the ZR1 http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2136.html fun in the snow http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2137.html that's a gunshow http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2138.html Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ralph… Ralph was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!' St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.' Ralph was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home.. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground. A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?' 'Not bad,' replied Ralph the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!''You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. 'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?' 'Never,' said Ralph. 'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.' Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming. As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife yell..... 'Ralph! Wake up. You shit the bed!' ____________ The newly wed seniors were having sexual problems. The counselor thought it might be due to the fact that the woman was taller. He suggested special shoes with build- up heels to help the man's ego. The next month, he asked if things had improved in their love life with the shoes. "Well yes..." the woman replied, "but those shoes get the sheets so dirty." ____________ Bambi the blonde celebrated her 40th birthday with a makeover. She went to the best plastic surgeon in town and got a boob lift, a tummy tuck, butt implants, botox, collagen ...the works. Ten weeks and thousands of dollars later, she was a new woman -- literally. Her personal physician then performed her annual physical, noted the new "body work." When the exam was finished, he called her in. "Bambi, your overall health is good, but I want to discuss a problem that often affects women your age, osteoporosis." Bambi looked puzzled. "Osteo--what?" "Bone loss. Many women start to experience it in their 40s." Bambi giggled, blushed and said, "Oh, really, Doc. You've seen me naked. Trust me, with this body and this face, I get new bones quite often!" _____________ A 16 year old daughter shows up in the house really late after her first date. Her angry mother asks her where the hell she's been all night. "Mom, I think I am in love!" "What do you mean, it was your first date with this guy!" "Yeah, but I sucked his dick and then he fucked me in the ass." "That's not love, my little one, that's lust. When you first get fucked in the ass and then suck his dick.... that's love ________________ One night, the waitress in a bar was a bit unsettled that a strange looking man who sat quietly drinking at the bar always seemed to be looking at her intently. Finally, he got up enough nerve to speak to her. "You are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I do hope you don't mind my looking at you." She told him she would rather he didn't look so hard and that she didn't consider herself that special. "Well, you see I am from a far away planet, sent here to observe some things here and I have to go back tonight. So you see, I really haven't seen anyone like you before. Please just let me look." So she said ok, although she thought he was a little nuts. He did mind his manners, didn't get drunk, and just sat quietly looking. When it was time to close the bar, he prepared to leave, then walked back to the waitress. "I know this is strange, but would you please let me see your tits? I've never seen anything like this and it would mean so very much to me if I could go home and tell the guys all about you." Since everyone but the owner had left and he was in the back room, she finally gave in and unbuttoned her blouse and pulled her tits out of her bra. "Oh my goodness, that is wonderful! Thank you! Thank you! You don't know how much this means to me!" When she started to gather her clothes around her again, he asked shyly, "Please, please, let me just touch your tits. It would mean so much to me to be able to tell all the guys about how wonderful you are." After a little consideration, she allowed him to touch. He was very gentle and she was beginning to get stirred up by this alien. Then he asked her if she would allow him to make love to her. Since she was beginning to fancy that notion, she agreed right away. To her surprise, however, he placed his right forefinger in the middle of her forehead quite firmly. As he did so, she could see the passion on his face and he called out, "Aah, ahh, aaaahhhhh." Then he took his finger from her forehead. Astonished, she asked him if he'd like to do it again. Looking at his curled up forefinger, he replied, "Yes, but I'll have to wait a little while." _________ BUFFALO Bill FUN PAGES from Lorraine PAPA Thorn Einstein of mice http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=Einstein-4.jpg Jurassic Parkway http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=Jurasic-Parkway.jpg THAT'S ALL FOLKS! Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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