Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I was asked recently what it is like living in a border town because Canada is a foreign country. It is about the same as living on the border with Wisconsin would be. The average Ontario resident is English speaking and of the same ethnic and religious background as those who live on this side. Over they years many have attended school here, worked here, shopped here, married here, and owned a home and raised a family here. This works both ways and with the fluctuations in our currency at times things are cheaper on one side
or the other so people hop on the bridge, pay their 2.50 and drive across to work or play. It is not a long bridge, actually shorter than the one between San Diego and Coronado or even the Golden Gate Bridge, the only difference being the wait to go through customs which can be minutes or an hour depending on the time of the day or if you happen to be in a carload of Arabs.
We share a love of Holidays and Americans participate in the Winter
Carnival and gather down by the river to watch the fireworks on Canada Day which is the first of July and then the Canadians come across to
watch the I-500, enjoy and participate in the 4th of July Parade and
attend the concerts at the Kewadin Casino. We both enjoy benefits of having each other as neighbors in being able to attract more stores.
So anyhow the chances of looking in a crowd and finding a Canadian is pretty small. They aren't all speaking French, wearing a Toque or saying eh. In an emergency their fire department is there to help us, in a disaster they are there to contribute, and when 9-11 happened
they were there to fight alongside of us in Afghanistan.
All in all it is pretty nice having the Canadians for neighbors and friends. At least they don't wear chunks of cheese on their head and root for
the Packers on Sunday.
Michigan 60 years ago
Hi Buffalo,
A short tourism documentary on Northern Michigan c. 1949 as part of James A. Fitzpatrick'
It is best if viewed in "Full Screen Mode" and sound must be on!
http://www.youtube.
A long time reader,
(Lee)
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
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Irish Chips
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Only the Irish have Jokes Like These Oldies
Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp. "What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender. " Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy. "That little shit, O'Conner," says Sean, "He couldn't do that to you, he must have had something in his hand." "That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it." "Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself, didn't you have something in your hand?" That I did," said Paddy. "Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight."
************
An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road.
A cop pulls him over. "So," says the cop to the driver, where have ya been?" "Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk. "Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening." "I did all right," the drunk says with a smile. "Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?" "Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."
*********
Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. "Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya". "Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?" "That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda." There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..." "Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me." " I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry. Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?"
"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned."
"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me truth, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?" "Well, Brenda... no. In fact, he got out three times to pee."
************
Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears. He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?" She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night." The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?" She says, "That he did, Father." The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary? " She says, He said, 'Please Mary, put down that damn gun...'
*********
AND THE BEST FOR LAST
A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing. The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk continues to sit there. Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall. The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either!"
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Apple
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Barbie straps-on http://able2laugh.
Martha later on
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Sis
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Shave Shower
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Satisfaction bitch
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Short Chips
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The doctor took his patient into the room and said, "I have some good news and some bad news."
The patient said, "Give me the good news."
"They're going to name a disease after you."
Mary: So while I was visiting my friend in the hospital, some deranged man came stumbling out of his room, picked up a red-headed nurse, and threw her over his shoulder, saying he was gonna sacrifice a virgin!
Jill: Oh, no! What did the hospital staff do?
Mary: One intern yelled, "She's no virgin!" Then one maintenance man, three orderlies, and two MD's shouted, "I can vouch for that!"
A camel and an elephant meet. The elephant asked the camel: "Why do you have your breasts on your back?"
The camel, clearly irritated, replies: "What a silly question from someone who has his dick on his face."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Q and A Chips
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Q. Did you hear about the new deodorant called Umpire?
A. It's for foul balls.
Q. Did you hear about the fire in the rednecks library?
A. Both the books got burned, and one hadn't even been coloured in yet.
Q. Why do Sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
A. So no one confuses them with feminists.
Q. Did you see Roman Polanski's new movie?
A. Close Encounters With The Third Grade.
Q. What's the definition of a woman?
A. Life support for a vagina.
Q. What do you get when you cross LSD with birth control?
A. A trip without the kids
Q. Did you hear about the new Vietnamese cookbook?
A. 100 ways to wok your dog.
Q. Why did god create alcohol?
A. So ugly people could get laid too.
Q. What is the difference between a gay and a freezer.
A. The freezer don't fart when you take the meat out!
Q. What's the definition of "Tender Love?"
A. Two gays with hemorrhoids.
Q. Why do they bury Australians 100 feet underground?
A. Because deep, deep down they're nice people.
Q. Why did the Taliban trade his wife for an outhouse?
A. Because the hole was smaller and the smell was better.
Q. What's the most important question to ask when you want to have safe sex? A. What time will your husband get home?
Q. Why does everyone wants to work at the impotency clinic?
A. It's a soft job.
Q. What's the difference between wives and secretaries?
A. Secretaries get a little behind at work, wives get a big behind at home.
Q. Did you hear about the Irishman who went to the toilet?
A. He wiped the chain and pulled himself.
Q. What did God say after creating man?
A. "I can do so much better."
Q. What did he say after he created woman?
A. "Guess I was wrong!"
Q. What's worse than your best friend telling you that he's a gay? A. When he tells you that he fucked you that night you passed out drunk on his couch!
Q. What do you call twelve naked men sitting on each others shoulders? A. A scrotum pole!
Q. Why won't Israel's Prime Minister give the Palestinian'
Q. Why don't women have brains?
A. They don't have a cock to keep them in!
Q. How do we know God is a man?
A. Because if God were a woman, sperm would taste like chocolate.
Q. Why do they play on artificial turf in Poland?
A. To keep the cheerleaders from grazing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hell Chips
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One day a guy died and found himself in hell. As he was wallowing in despair, he had his first meeting with a demon. The demon asked, "Why so glum?"
The guy responded, "What do you think? I'm in hell!"
"Hell's not so bad," the demon said. "We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?"
"Sure," the man said, "I love to drink."
"Well you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet Tab and Fresca. We drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!"
The guy is astounded. "Damn, that sounds great."
"You a smoker?" the demon asked.
"You better believe it!"
"You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer, no biggie. You're already dead, remember?"
"Wow, the guy said, "that's awesome!"
The demon continued. "I bet you like to gamble."
"Why yes, as a matter of fact I do."
"Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, well, you're dead anyhow. You into drugs?"
The guy said, "Are you kidding? I love drugs! You don't mean . . ."
"That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack, or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, you're dead, who cares!"
"Wow, the guy said, starting to feel better about his situation, "I never realized Hell was such a cool place!"
The demon said, "You gay?"
"No."
"Ooooh, you're gonna hate Fridays."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Army Chips
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The soldiers are tired and lonely after spending weeks in enemy territory. To entertain them the Major called for this HOT number from the nearby town. She came, danced and when the first dance was done, the soldiers went mad. They clapped for 5 minutes.
For her second number she stripped and danced in sheer bra and G strings. This time the applause went for 10 minutes.
The next number she danced topless, and this time the applause went on and on. The Major had to come on stage and ask them to quite down for the grand finale.
For her last number, she was to strip completely and dance naked. The Major expected the soldiers to make enough noise to bring the roof down. But ten minutes later, there is no clapping and the dancer comes backstage.
The Major asks her, "What happened? How come there was no clapping this time?"
She replied, "Major, how do you expect those poor boys to clap with one hand?!!?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Aussie Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man who wanted a dog to protect his business, visited a kennel that specialised in attack dogs. The man explained to the kennel owner that he wanted the biggest, meanest, most vicious dog in the kennel, and the owner offered to take the man on a tour of the premises.
After they had been walking for a few minutes, they came upon a large dog, snarling loudly, and biting and clawing at the cage.
"He looks like he'd be a pretty good attack dog," said the buyer.
"Well, he's not bad," replied the owner, "but I have a different one in mind for you."
They continued walking around the premises, and after a while they found an even larger, meaner dog than the first. He snarled at the two men and tried to bite them through the wire on his cage.
"Ah," said the buyer. "This must be the dog you were referring to earlier."
"Well, no." said the owner. "I have something better in mind for you."
The men continued their tour. Eventually, they came upon a large dog, panting heavily and lying quietly on his side, licking his asshole. He seemed unaware of the men's approach.
"This is the dog I had in mind for you," said the owner.
The buyer was flabbergasted. "You're joking!" he exclaimed. "This dog is tame compared to the others; he doesn't even act like an attack dog."
"I know he appears tame now," said the owner. "But you see, he just ate an Australian, and he's trying to get the taste out of his mouth."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Back In Time http://www.silveran
Marlene/Have Thine Own Way Lord/ http://summerhoosie
Southbreeze/ Between Friends http://www.reflecti
BibleStudy: Fear Of The Lord http://www.shangral
*+*+*+*+*+*+
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Surfin Surfari
Facts about Coffee
http://cocoajava.
Beer Cans and Soda Cans http://www.beercanw
Fun Quizzes Via Shangy
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Cave For Sale Via Wesley
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
How To Tail (View) Multiple Files on UNIX / Linux Console Via Wesley http://www.cybercit
Midi Music Via shangy http://www.purplepa
HTML to PDF converter Via Wesley http://www.html-
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
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Pink Dolphin Via Wesley
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Movie Clips
Brains
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Burglary Commercial
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Call To Navy Recruiter
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Country Music
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Crappy hp Printer
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German Engineering
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God Bless The USA
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Grimper Rocher
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Hand Boeienin Bed
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Hill Climb
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Prison Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
These two men were cellmates at state penitentiary for nine years. One day Larry said to Joe, "You know man its been a long time since we had some sex so you oughta let me screw you."
Joe replied.
"Are you crazy?!!"
Larry went on to say, "I promise you that it won't hurt and we'll flip a coin and see who screws, who first.
So, Joe thought about it for a minute and finally agreed.
They flipped a coin and Larry won.
Still having strong reservation Joe asked,
"How will you tell if it hurts or not?"
Larry told Joe,
"If it hurts you start making animal noises, and I'll stop.
But if it feels good start singing."
Larry started the insertion and Joe screamed,
Moooooooo...
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Eco Canteen - Be Healthy and Go Green
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
don't shake it
http://www.thepostm
crap
http://www.thepostm
what I want in a boyfriend http://www.thepostm
Wicked Picture
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No screwing in public restrooms http://www.buffalos
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Work For head
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QuickLawn - Just Sow It and Grow It
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Limerick Chips
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When a horse playing golfer named Trey
Goosed a girl in the rough one fine day
He found her, though willing,
Just barely fulfilling..
"I would rate her," said Trey, "a par lay."
Stan Kegel
____________
A cock of a fellow named Randall,
Shot sparks like a big Roman candle,
He was much in demand,
For the colors were grand,
But most girls found him too hot to handle. ____________
Hannibal's plan made good sense
Cross alps astride creatures, immense
Though it may seem odd
Your enemy's awed
When elephants sit on defense
(Gary Hallock)
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
EZ Cracker - Crack, Separate and Strip Eggs
Making eggs has never been cleaner or easier. EZ Cracker separates egg whites for perfect egg white omelets. Strip shells from hard boiled eggs in seconds...no mess, no fuss.
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A drunk stumbled into a doctor's office and said, "Shey, doc, you gotta help me put my dick back on."
"Where is it?"
"Right here in my pocket."
"That's a cigar."
"Oh my God, doc! I smoked my dick!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Touch-n-Brush - Hands Free Toothpaste Dispenser
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Eliminate messy, sticky bathroom sinks forever.
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Bonus Chip
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Once upon a time, In a land far away, A beautiful, independent, Self assured princess Happened upon a frog as she lay, Contemplating ecological issues On the shores of an unpolluted pond In a verdant meadow near her castle.
The frog hopped into the princess' lap And said: Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, Until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
One kiss from you, however, And I will turn back Into the dapper, young prince that I am And then, my sweet, we can marry And setup housekeeping in your castle With my Mother, Where you can prepare my meals Clean my clothes, bear my children, And forever feel grateful and happy doing so.
That night, As the princess dined sumptuously On a repast of lightly sauteed frog legs Seasoned in a white wine And onion cream sauce, She chuckled to herself and thought:
I don't fucking think so.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Slap Chop is a manual chopper machine that works when you slap the plunger part. Every slap triggers the 3 blades below to chop and cut the food. The more you slap the
Slap Chop, the finer the food gets.
Chop up potatoes for home fries, or add mushrooms and green peppers for a tasty side to
your eggs. Even use the Slap Chop for vegetables like carrots, celery and radishes for an
instant salad. Nuts and chocolate are chopped easy for toppings on ice-cream. The Slap Chop
is great for onions and even garlic so your fingers don't smell and it saves time. The Slap Chop's
base opens up to expose the blades for easy cleaning.
Additional Ordering Details:
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady ~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1538
The Error of His Ways
Katie and Rudy are having an argument...
It is getting heated...
Sandi comes over and intervenes: Okay what is this about?
Katie: It is all about Rudy. He made a terrible error.
Rudy: No, I did not. I did nothing wrong, it is Katie who is in error.
Sandi: Let's start at the beginning. What happened first?
Rudy: I was taking a nap under the apple tree when I got hit on the head by an apple. It had an arrow in it. Katie was standing over there with a bow and arrow. So I yelled at her to quit.
Katie: Just because I had a bow and arrow doesn't mean the arrow in that apple came from my bow and arrow Rudy.
Rudy: Who else around here has a bow and arrow Katie, Cupid?
Sandi: Ah, I see the problem. We must use deductive reasoning here. We have a victim a Mr. Rutherford and potential suspect a Miss Katherine. Are there any eye witness to the alleged crime?
Rudy: Err-ah no, I was asleep.
Katie: So then it might have been possible this could have been a dream?
Rudy: No, here is the apple with the arrow through it.
Katie: Gulp!
Sandi: So we do have evidence and a victim. We need to find the suspect.
Sandi: Katherine, where were you at the time of this incident?
Katie: Err, I was doing missionary work.
Rudy: With a bow and arrow?
Katie: I can spread the word must faster that way.
Sandi: Sounds reasonable. Rudy, was there anyone else around when you were awaken?
Rudy: I saw Toots in the back gathering clothes off the clothesline.
Katie: It was her! She probably hid the bow and arrow in the laundry.
Sandi: We shall continue this investigation in the house.
To be continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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