THE POSTMAN'S CORNER If it's true that St. Patrick chased all the snakes out of Ireland.... we desperately need him in Washington Topsy Turvy is the unique upside down tomato tree. This one-of-a-kind "tree" will grow to approx. 6 ft tall, and can yield up to 200 tomatoes! Easy to Grow & Maintain High Yield, Less Work Grow Fresh Herbs, Zucchini, Eggplant, and more Comes with a built in stand, foot levelers & 3 ports Order Now and get a Free Bonus gift! http://www.tinyurl.com/cm5bg8 Will the stimulus package improve the economy? Answer now to get a FREE $100 Visa(R) gift card Economic woes got you talkin'? Get paid to express your opinion! Tell us if you think the stimulus package will improve the economy and you'll receive a FREE $100 Visa(R) gift card! http://www.tinyurl.com/cxwtzf FREE* SOFTSOAP SAMPLES http://www.tinyurl.com/d62z6t GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS! One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really friendly.. So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!' This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of the Garbage Truck.' He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets. The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so...Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't. Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it! Yesterday was excellent. After Judge Mathis was over, (my favorite afternoon tv show) I backed the motorcycle out and took the first "official" ride of the season. It was so nice I didn't even need a jacket. Wasn't a long ride. Just over to the bank, a quick stop at Sav a lot (I'd been hankering for some english muffins and sour cream.) and then dropped my daughter's jacket off to her at work as she had left it here when she stopped by on Sunday. Then it was a trip over to the river. To me there is nothing more peaceful than to sit on a river bank and just watch it flow by you. I suppose I could have done a little fishing, but the liscence was expired, and somehow, I didn't really need an excuse to sit there anyway. Then it was back home again. Since the war department was off yesterday, I didn't feel like taking a long ride. But she works today, so I think I'll hop on the bike, go have lunch with her and then take a very nice long and leisurely ride. It is supposed to be even nicer today than it was yesterday. Ahh the good days of spring and summer are finally here! A Happy St. Paddy's day to all !!! And if you are planning to drink green beer today and tonight, please drink responsibly! We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman _____________ THE COMICS doing it wrong http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u012.html an appointment http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u014.html rubbing noses http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u015.html nice puppies http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u016.html you've been cheating on me? http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u018.html spare no expense http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u019.html LETS GO TO THE MOVIES you're a beautiful girl http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5135.html changing baby http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5138.html the dog and the bedsheets http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5140.html INTERESTING STUFF I don't do windows http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2187.html 27 visualizations http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2188.html 100 most beautiful places in the world http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2190.html COOL PICS Dear President Obama, Thank you for helping my neighbors with their mortgage payments. You know, the ones who live down the street who in the good times refinanced theirhouse several times and bought SUV's, ATV's, RV's, a pool, threeHDTV's, an X-Box, two Wave Runners, new flooring for their home, an enlargedpatio, and a Harley. Also, I was wondering, since I am paying my mortgage andtheirs, could you arrange for me to borrow the Harley now and then? Richard Ford, Queen Creek , AZ P.S. They also need help with their credit cards, when do you want meto start making those payments? P.P.S. I almost forgot - they didn't file their income tax returnthis year. Should I go ahead and file for them or will you be appointing them tocabinet posts? _________________ Hillary Clinton and her driver were cruising home along a country road one evening when an old cow loomed in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it but couldn't. The aged cow was struck and killed. Hillary told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened and pay them for the cow. She stayed in the car making phone calls. About an hour later the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray. He was holding a half-empty bottle of expensive wine in one hand, a huge Cuban cigar in the other and was smiling happily, smeared with lipstick. "What happened to you," asked Hillary? "Well," the driver replied, "the farmer gave me the cigar, his wife gave me the wine and their beautiful twin daughters made passionate love to me." "My God, what did you tell them?" asked Hillary. The driver replied, "I just stepped inside the door and said, 'I'm Hillary Clinton's driver and I've just killed the old cow. The rest happened so fast I couldn't stop it." ________________ Q. How do you get an Irishman to climb on the roof? A. Tell him that the drinks are on the house. Q. If Tarzan and Jane were Irish, what would Cheetah be? A. The designated driver. Q. Why did St. Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland? A. He couldn't afford plane fare. Q: How did the leprechaun beat the Irishman to the pot of gold? A: He took a shortcut! Q: What do leprechauns love to barbecue? A: Short ribs! ____________ A couple of old guys were golfing when one said he was going to Dr. Taylor for a new set of dentures in the morning. His friend remarked that he had gone to the same dentist a few years before. "Is that so?" the first said. "Did he do a good job?" "Well, I was on the course yesterday when the fellow on the ninth hole hooked a shot," he said. "The ball must have been going 200 mph when it hit me square in the nuts." "What does that have to do with your teeth?" asked the first. "Well" he explained, "That was the first time in two years my teeth didn't hurt." _____________ A guy walks into a bar with his midget wife and takes a stool, with his wife standing next to him. The bartender was busy at the other end and didn't see them when they walked in. When he got done serving the customers there, he walked down the bar and asks the new customer what he would like. He asks for two glasses of beer, which the barman brings. After leaving him, the bartender goes about serving other patrons, when he notices the man has finished his beers. He asks if he would like a refill, and the man says, "Yes. I'll have a couple more. " The barman gets two more beers and sets them in front of the man. Never having seen anyone with the guy, his curiosity is piqued, and he asks him, "Why, do you order two drinks at a time?" The man replies, "Oh, one is for me, and the other for my wife." Astounded, having not seen the midget wife, the bartender says, "Your wife? Where is she?" "She's standing here next to me." The bartender, standing on his toes, leaning forward looking over the edge of the bar, utters, "Well, I'll be God damned, she ain't any bigger than your fist!" The man replies, "No, but she's a lot better!" _______________ A new report suggests that being overweight is not as harmful as is commonly believed, and actually confers some surprising benefits. Being five to ten pounds overweight could protect people from ailments ranging from tuberculosis to Alzheimer's disease, research indicates. Those carrying 15 to 25 extra pounds are better able to recoverfrom adverse conditions such as emphysema, pneumonia, andvarious injuries and infections, states the report. Thirty to forty pounds of flab could help fend off breast, kidney, pancreatic, prostate, and colon cancer. And an extra fifty pounds on the scale may improve eyesight,r everse baldness, cure the common cold, and reduce global warming. In general, the report concludes, overweight people arehappier, more successful in business, smarter, and friendlier. The study was funded by a research grant from McDonald's, Burger King, Jack in the Box, Taco Bell, Domino's Pizza,Starbucks, Haagen Dazs, Sara Lee, and Krispy Kream. ______________ FUN PAGES from Lorraine Jam XM http://tinyurl.com/crujxc Warlords Fighting Game http://tinyurl.com/cd8ulm BUFFALO Bill SydesJokes List Amusement Park With Real Rides http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001500.html Animated Santa http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001502.html THAT'S ALL FOLKS! Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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