Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I was reading some posts from a yard sale list today and someone
was selling a year and a half old Purebred Himalayan for 50.00.
The cat didn't like children, didn't like dogs, and didn't like
having
its tummy touched and the owner wanted to use the money to
pay off a 600.00 vet bill. If I had been looking for a cat I would
have
steered well clear of that one because I had been through that once
before.
I was working at the University Of San Diego and Sandy wanted
another cat, either a Siamese, Persian, or Himalayan and
preferably a kitten. I went to the San Diego Humane Society and
spotted a year-old Himalayan that had her front claws removed
and I was assured that she was a friendly cat longing for a new
owner to love. I laid out my 45.00 for adoption fees and brought the
cat home. It seemed to get along with me but wanted nothing to do
with Sandy or Buffy. Sandy wasn't happy but I convinced her to wait
a couple of days to see if the cat warmed up a bit.
We had a nook in the hall cupboards for a telephone and a few phone
books and the cat took up a watch there where it could howl and hiss
as everyone went by. Then the phone rang and as I was on call I went
to grab it and the cat took it as a personal affront and swatted my
hand
about 40 times I laughed because she had no claws and that was when
she decided to start gnawing on my hand and when I went to grab her
she ran out the back door and into a neighbors house and under the
bed. The cat got along just great with the family there and their
children
but if I came within twenty feet of their porch it would hide under
the bed
and howl. I have had mixed breeds since then with Persian in them or
Siamese but none were as ornery as that cat. I realize that it was
all
because of the declawing issue but that cat developed a real hatred
towards me really fast. I prefer tabbies although I have been
scratched
by them before, they don't hold a grudge.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was once a boy named Johnny Go Deeper.
He attended a school where his father was the
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and his sister was an administrator. He stayed
after class when the bell rang to speak with
his teacher, Mrs. Johnson.
He began the conversation by saying. "Mrs.
Johnson, please take off your shirt".
Mrs. Johnson quickly replied "No Johnny, I'm
not taking my shirt off".
So Johnny says "I'll tell my mother and my
father and my sister and they'll fire you.
So Mrs. Johnson removed her shirt.
Then Johnny says "Mrs. Johnson, please take
off your skirt".
Mrs. Johnson quickly replied "No Johnny, I'm
not taking my skirt off".
So Johnny says "I'll tell my mother and my
father and my sister and they'll fire you".
Mrs. Johnson then removed her skirt.
Then Johnny says "Mrs. Johnson, please take
off your bra and panties".
Mrs. Johnson quickly replied "No Johnny, I'm
not taking my bra and panties off".
So Johnny says "I'll tell my mother and my
father and my sister and they'll fire you".
Mrs. Johnson then removed her bra and panties.
Then Johnny says "Mrs. Johnson, please lay on
the table".
Mrs. Johnson quickly replied "No Johnny,I will
not lay on the table".
So Johnny says "I'll tell my mother and my
father and my sister and they'll fire you".
Mrs. Johnson lays on the table.
So Johnny jumped on top of her and proceeded
to try to penetrate her.
All of a sudden his mother walks in and yells
"JOHNNY GO DEEPER"
So Johnny replies "I'm trying, I'm trying".
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Viagra Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Poker Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Freddie Mercury, Gianni Versace and the Queen Mum arrive at
the Pearly gates. St Peter explains that only one can get
through and that they each have to put forward their case
for entry.
Freddie says, "I know I haven't led a perfect life and I've
made some mistakes along the way, but I've made some of the
most beautiful music in the world. I'll stand at the back of
heaven and serenade everybody with my wondrous songs, making
heaven a happier place to be."
"Pretty good, Fred" said St Peter, "what about you Gianni?"
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Pete, if you look good you will feel good and that will make
heaven a happier place."
"Not bad," says St Peter. "What about you Queen Mum?"
The Queen Mum does not say a word, instead she lifts up her
skirt, pulls down her knickers, shoots a full bottle of water
into her vagina and lets it gush all over the floor.
"Excellent! You're in!" says St Peter.
"Hold on a minute!" says Freddie. "She didn't even say
anything!"
"Fred, you know the rules," says St Peter. "A royal flush
beats a pair of Queens."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Farmer Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An old farmer is having trouble getting his bull to breed with the
cows and
is lamenting the fact to a few of his friends down at his local feed
and
seed. One of them says, "You know, I used to have the same trouble
with my
bull, but I got it fixed really quick." "How did you get it fixed?"
asked
the farmer. "Well I just dipped my finger in the cow's vagina and
rubbed it
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He goes home to the farm and decides to try it. He grabs a cow, dips
his
fingers in the cow's vagina and rubs it all around the bull's nose.
The bull
gets a rip roaring boner and jumps on the cow immediately.
That night, he gets into bed with his wife and can't get the effect
on the
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his
wife's vagina and feeling that it's nice and wet, he rubs it all
around his
nose and gets a rip roaring hard on. He quickly shakes his wife
awake and
cries out, "Darling. Look at this!"
She rolls over, turns on the light and says, "You mean you woke me
up in the
middle of the night just to show me that you have a NOSEBLEED?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Teacher asks kindergarten students what kind of medicines they know
and what they are used for.
First pupil: 'Tylenol?'
Teacher: 'Very good! And what is it used for?'
Pupil: 'It is used for headaches'
Second pupil: 'Nytol Teacher'
Teacher: 'Excellent. And what it is used for?'
Pupil: 'To help you sleep'
Now it is Johnny's turn and he says: 'Viagra'
Teacher, slightly shocked: 'Johnny, What do you think is it used
for?'
Johnny: 'It can be used for diarrhea'
Teacher: 'Who told you this?'
Johnny: 'Nobody, but every evening my mother tells my father 'Take a
Viagra, maybe that little shit will get harder'.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Newlywed Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young farmer is newly married and the couple can't get
enough of it. Just before leaving the house for the fields at dawn
they tear off a piece and when he returns home at evening they
have another go before and after supper and maybe a couple
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fields are a long way from the house and the young man loses
so much time traveling home and back again at noon that he
decides to consult a friend (the town's doctor) about what to do.
"Easiest thing in the world, Homer" says the doctor. "You take
your rifle out with you every day don't you? Well when
you feel like you're in the mood for some lovin' just fire a shot
into the air as a signal to your wife for her to come out to you.
That way you won't lose any workin' time."
Homer tries this and it seems to work pretty good for a while.
One day though the doctor stops by the house to pay a visit
and he notices Homer sitting alone inside looking very morose.
"What's wrong?" he asks. "Didn't my idea work? And where's your
wife?"
"Oh, it worked" says Homer. "Whenever I got in the mood I
fired off a shot like you said and Beckie'd come runnin'. Then
we'd find a secluded place and do it after which Beckie'd go
back home."
"So what's the problem?"
"Well I think I overdid it, Doc. I ain't seen hide nor hair of
Beckie since the huntin' season got started!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/He Touched Me
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John w/ Venus
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In The Blink Of an Eye
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Tucows Downloads
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Movie Clips
Delete
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Devon Michaels Naked Joke
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Duck Job
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Excedrin
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Excuse Me Miss
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Fairytale Ending
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Hill Climb
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Hollow Men
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Home Paternity Test
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Homemade Water Slide
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Homer Koehn
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Inviro Wacko
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Jay Leno On Oil Drilling in ANWR
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Gas
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George Gobal
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German speed bump
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sheep Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why Sheep Are Better Than Women
1. Sheep don't have a gag reflex, or upper teeth.
2. You can get a better grip on a sheep's ear.
3. Sheep don't shy away from boots and leather.
4. Cottonmouth is easier to get rid of than a social disease.
5. Nuttin' beats mutton.
6. Sheep won't argue about whose turn it is to go get a towel.
7. Sheep won't drink your liquor, smoke your weed, snort your
coke, and then tell you they have to be home early.
8. Sheep never ask if you're ready to settle down.
9. Sheep never ask about you former lovers and then get pissed
off when you tell them.
Heather
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
make love to the camera
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Plastic Surgery
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Good Hump
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Women's Meeting
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young lady named Gloria,
Who was goosed by Sir Oswald Du Maurier...
And then by six men,
Sir Oswald again,
And the band at the Woldorf Astoria!
____________
There once was a lady named Dot
Who lived off of pig shit and snot
When she ran out of these
She ate the green cheese
That she grew on the sides of her twat
____________
There was a young trucker named Briard
Who had a young whore that he hired
To F*** when not trucking
But trucking plus f*cking
Got him so f*cking tired he got fired.
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man and his wife were talking and he says, You know, I was
thinking of
going down to the bar tonight and entering that big-dick contest. Oh
honey, she exclaims, I don't want you taking that out in public! But
sweet thing, he says, the prize is $100.
I don't care, she says I don't want you showing that thing to
everybody.
So he lets the subject drop until the following night when his wife
walks in on him in the bedroom, counting out a hundred dollars. Did
you
go down and enter that big-dick contest last night after I told you
not
to?
Please forgive me, sweetheart. He says. You mean you took that thing
out
for everybody to see? she says, tears welling up in her eyes.
The man looks at her fondly and says, Only enough to win.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Touch-n-Brush - Hands Free Toothpaste Dispenser
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Eliminate messy, sticky bathroom sinks forever.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
CSI Miami: "The victim had traces of semen in both ears." "So the
victim heard her killer coming."
Condom: An article of attire to be worn on every conceivable
occasion.
(Richard Lederer)
Relative Humidity: How wet your sister-in-law gets when you're
screwing her.
She was only a Farmer's daughter, but she knew how to make hay while
the moon rose.
A teenager is God's punishment for enjoying sex.
Confucius say "It take square ass to shit a brick.
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Slap Chop is a manual chopper machine that works when you slap
the plunger part. Every slap triggers the 3 blades below to chop and
cut the food. The more you slap the
Slap Chop, the finer the food gets.
Chop up potatoes for home fries, or add mushrooms and green peppers
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Additional Ordering Details:
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1539
The Investigation (cont)
In the house Diana is putting up clothes when...
Sandi: Excuse me mommy, but I need to ask you a few questions.
Diana: Okay.
Sandi: Do you own a bow and arrow?
Diana: Not since I was a child.
Katie: See she used to have one.
Sandi: But, you currently do not possess one?
Diana: No, why?
Sandi: Just curious. Does Daddy have one?
Diana: No, he does not. As far as I know only Katie has one.
Katie: Gulp!
Rudy looking long and hard at Katie...
Sandi: Let us continue our investigation.
Diana: Sandi, where did you get the Sherlock Holmes hat? It looks
rather
nice on you.
Sandi: Thanks mommy. Daddy got it for me last year.
Katie nervously shuffling her feet: The lab, we must go to the lab!
Sandi: Why?
Katie: It must be one of my Klones.
Rudy: Hrumpt!
A few minutes later in the lab...
Sandi: All the Repli-Kates seem to be here...Whoa there is one
missing.
Twang!
Sandi: My hat! It got shot off my head by an arrow.
Katie: It wasn't me. I am right here and my bow and arrow are
still with
me.
Rudy: Repli-Kate number 45 is missing. Here is the card for that
number.
"Number 45 is never to be turned on. It is the extreme model that
seems
to display all the ornery characteristics of the Kanine Katie."
Opps, that could be serious trouble.
Katie: There she is! I have my bow and arrow if I can hit the off
button..
Twang!
Sandi: Good shot sis. I think you shut her down. We need to
figure out
how she got turned on in the first place. Where's Katie?
Rudy: I think we know. Each had a bow and arrow. I think Katie,
the
real one, wanted someone to play with.
Sandi: Good deduction Watson, err I mean Rudy. We can remove the
battery pack from #45 so she can not be turned on again.
Rudy: I guess I can return to my nap.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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