THE POSTMAN'S CORNER Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason so few engage in it. Henry Ford IKEA- SHOP FOR FREE! http://www.tinyurl.com/ag499z GET FREE TIRES! http://www.tinyurl.com/dkhl4f GET FREE NESTLE CRUNCH CANDY! http://www.tinyurl.com/25ro25 FREE KIX CEREAL http://www.tinyurl.com/2dt2yj GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS! A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell. He painted a sign advertising the pups and set about Nailing it to a post on the edge of his yard. As he was driving the last nail into the post, he Felt a tug on his overalls. He looked down into the Eyes of a little boy. Mister," he said, "I want to buy one of your puppies." "Well," said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat off the back of his neck, "these puppies come from fine parents and cost a good deal of money." The boy dropped his head for a moment. Then reaching deep into his pocket, he pulled out a handful of change and held it up to the farmer. "I've got thirty-nine cents. Is that enough to take a look?" "Sure," said the farmer. And with that he let out a whistle,"Here,Dolly!" he called. Out from the doghouse and down the ramp ran Dolly followed by four little balls of fur. The little boy pressed his face against the chain link fence. His eyes danced with delight.As the dogs made their way to the fence, the little boy noticed something else stirring inside the doghouse. Slowly another little ball appeared; this One noticeably smaller. Down the ramp it slid. Then in a somewhat awkward manner the little pup began hobbling toward the others, doing its best to catch up.... "I want that one," the little boy said, pointing to the runt. The farmer knelt down at the boy's side and said, "Son, you don't want that puppy. He will never be able to run and play with you like these other dogs would." With that the little boy stepped back from the fence, reached down, and began rolling up one leg of his trousers. In doing so he revealed a steel brace running down both sides of his leg attaching itself To a specially made shoe. Looking back up at the farmer, he said, "You see sir, I don't run too well myself, and he will need Someone who understands." The world is full of people who need someone who understands." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Took a nice long afternoon ride on the motorcycle yesterday. Headed on down and had lunch with the war department at work. And then, I mostly wasted the afternoon tooling around town. I didn't really have any destination in mind. So one of the stops happened to be the local Honda dealer. That probably was a mistake. I was in the show room looking around and saw this absolutely gorgeous Honda Gold Wing. It had a custom yellow paint job, trimmed in red. Prettiest set of wheels I have ever seen. But no, reality managed to control my senses. The price tag on the crazy thing would have even made an oil shiek shudder! I decided that a meandering route home was probably better than talking to the salesman who asked, "Could you see yourself riding home on that?" Ya, I could, and I could also see the look on the face of the war department when she saw it parked in the driveway:) Probably not gonna be able to ride today. The weather man is forecasting some crappy weather, actually. Temps down in the 40s and 50s and then he says it might rain, too. I don't think I need to ride that bad. But summer is ahead. We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman COMICS why did Tigger look in the toilet? http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u022.html don't forget http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u023.html don't need taxes http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u024.html I'm concerned http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u025.html for a dollar http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u027.html I like milk http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u028.html you have a vagina? http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u029.html LETS GO TO THE MOVIES men work better when someone is watching http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5142.html I hate smudges http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5143.html new technology http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5145.html one more beer please http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5147.html INTERESTING STUFF guy narrowly misses train http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2192.html could be a crack head dat got de wrong stuff http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2193.html bits and bobs http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2194.html 20 things you didn't know about time http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2195.html _______________ Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak, but, all of Bubba's neighbors were Catholic. And since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Friday. The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest. The Priest came to visit Bubba, and Suggested that he become a Catholic. After several classes and much study, Bubba attended Mass. As the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, 'You were born a Baptist, and raised a Baptist, but now you are a Catholic. Bubba's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison filled the neighborhood. The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors, and, as he rushed into Bubba's yard, clutching a Rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement. There stood Bubba, clutching a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat and chanted: You wuz born a deer, you wuz raised a deer, but now you is a catfish. ________________ Do you ever miss the ex? Mary: OH! All the time! You wouldn't believe how much! Jill: Wow! I didn't think you cared about him at all. Mary: Wait a minute! Did you say "ex" or "sex"? ____________ I was in my ninth month of pregnancy and feeling very uncomfortable. On top of everything, my pleas for sympathy seemed to go unnoticed by my husband. One day I told him, "I hope in your next life you get to be pregnant!" He replied, "I hope in your next life you get to be married to someone who's pregnant!" __________________ A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time." The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!" ________________ Mary: You'll love this story from my friend who works in the ER. Jill: What happened? Mary: A woman came in with a cell phone shoved up her rectum! Jill: You're kidding! Mary: I'm not. The woman said she and her husband were playing some "adult games." Jill: Well, it had to be either that, or she doesn't understand the meaning of phone sex ________________ A rich man was trying to find his daughter a birthday gift when he saw a poor man with a beautiful white horse. He told the man that he would give him $500 for the horse. The poor man replied, "I don't know mister, it don't look so good," and walked away. The next day the rich man came back and offered the poor man $1000 for the horse. The poor man said, "I don't know mister, it don't look so good." On the third day the rich man offered the poor man $2000 for the horse, and said he wouldn't take no for an answer. The poor man agreed, and the rich man took the horse home. The rich man's daughter loved her present. She climbed onto the horse, then galloped right into a tree. The rich man rushed back over to the poor man's house, demanding an explanation for the horse's blindness. The poor man replied, "I told you it don't look so good." _________________ One day little Johnny was REALLY bothering his mom. She told him to go across the street and watch the people who were building a house there. She told him to stay out of their way, but to try and learn something as well. The morning passed in blissful peace for Johnny's mother until lunchtime when she called him home. Mom asked, "What did you learn over there dear?" Johnny looked his mom in the eye and said," Well this fucking door is never going to close because the dickhead that framed it had his head up his ass." Mom was quite shocked to say the least. She sent Johnny to his room for the rest of the day with the words, "Just you WAIT till your father gets home!" Dad came home in time and went to see Johnny in his room. "Well Johnny, your mom says you've been busy today, what did you learn?" Johnny looked his dad in the eye and said," Well this fucking door is never going to close because the dickhead that framed it had his head up his ass." Johnny's dad got furious. After his face turned back to red from purple he said, "Johnny, you DON'T use language like that in my house!!! Now go cut me a switch so I can help you remember that!" Johnny again looked his dad in the eye and said, "Fuck you buddy, you want a switch call an electrician! " _________________ SYDESJOKES List what does 1 trillion dollars look like http://www.sydesjokes.com/extra/link000007.html FUN PAGES from Lorraine Governor of Poker http://tinyurl.com/aubzcy Dog Fight 2 http://tinyurl.com/d8h3lc BUFFALO Bill PAPA Thorn THAT'S ALL FOLKS! Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
__._,_.___
No comments:
Post a Comment