THE POSTMAN'S CORNER An Irish blessing: Here's to a long life and a merry one A quick death and an easy one A pretty girl and an honest one A cold beer and another one! You can Start your own business for less than $25! As seen on TV! Endorsed by Tom Bosley http://www.tinyurl.com/c9ughm FREE WRIGLEY 5 GUM in two NEW FLAVORS http://www.tinyurl.com/clvlzr McDonalds or Burger King, Vote your choice, get free food! http://www.tinyurl.com/cgmuwq GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS! I decided this was a good morning for a donut run. While I was out, I spied a bottle of minute maid O J and added that to my treasure of a bismarc donut with jelly filling. I looked on the back of the OJ and much to my surprise, there were zero additives and no sugar. I even saved half of it for the war department, who pronounced it good, altho she turned her nose up at my willingness to share the donut as well. Turk the dog, aka Carlos the rat, was not so particular about the donut, and he definitely decided it was worthwhile eating. Unfortunately, I am relegated these days to jelly filled bismarcs only. He cannot tolerate my other favorite, which are the custard filled with chocolate frosting. And no, I refuse to buy him his own donut. He can share. LOL altho we do have "arguments" about how big a piece he is entitled to. I have to wonder if I am being a little anal tho, when I buy a donut and then have to check the ingredient label on my OJ:) Fortunately for me, donuts do not have ingredient labels, so they must be ok to eat, I am sure. Right? Yestderday, the weather was absolutely gorgeous. I backed the motorcycle out of the shed.Hooked the battery cable back up. I had unhooked it for the winter to keep the battery from running down. Gave the electric start a punch. it sortof coughed and sputtered. Pulled out the choke, and the beast fired right up. I had not intended to, but how could I resist taking the thing around the block a couple times. It was a little nippy, but it felt wonderful. Called State Farm this morning to have them change the cycle ins. from storage to road insurance. Guess where I am headed now? We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman THE COMICS a woman's mouse http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u001.html where do babies come from http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u002.html sexy underwear http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u003.html a little to the left some more. ahh, right there http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u005.html t shirt fail http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u006.html alien on the moon http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u007.html real camel toe http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u008.html it checks out http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u009.html LETS GO TO THE MOVIES crazy trampoline stunt http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5129.html Nadya Suleman http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5131.html the blind man, the dog and the ladies of the night http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5132.html fishing without a net http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5133.html _____________ There was this Indian chief named Chief Bowels. The neighboring town wanted to build a golf course on his land, and this made the chief very angry, so he sends a messenger to the council office, which was in the same building as a doctor's office. The messenger goes in the wrong door, goes to the doctor and says, "Bowels not move." So the doctor gives him a pill. The messenger takes the pill back to the chief. The next day the messenger is back and says, "Bowels still not move." So the doctor gives him a stronger pill. The next day, same thing, the messenger comes back .... "Bowels STILL no move." So the doctor gives him the strongest pills he has. The next day, the messenger comes back and says, "Bowels HAD to move. Tepee full of shit." __________________ The aquarium shop where I work has been in business for more than 20 years. One Sunday a customer called wanting to buy a larger aquarium. "And by the way, I've spent a lot of money at your store over the years," he said. "I think I should get a discount." "Only our owner can give a discount," I explained, and he won't be in until tomorrow." When the customer said that he'd come in the next day, I asked him if there was anything else I could help him with. "Sure," he said. "Where is your store located?" _______________ Wife: "You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?" Hubby: "When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears." Wife: "You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?" Hubby: "Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?" ____________ An Irishman named O'Leary, who loved to sing as he worked, bought a mule to farm his garden. The mule worked well but was almost totally deaf. So, when his owner yelled, "Whoa!", the animal often continued plowing. Asked how the mule was working out, O'Leary shook his head. "There was a time," he said, "when all the neighbors could hear was me singing my lilting melodies. Lately, I'm afraid, they've heard nothing but my riled Irish whoa's!" ________________ Q. How can you tell if an Irishman found a $10 bill? A. Smell his breath. We've got our own recipe for Irish stew: Get some meat, some potatoes and a lot of Guinness Stout. Drink all of the beer. Forget about the stew. peg game ___________ His wife had been killed in an accident and the police were questioning Finnegan. "Did she say anything before she died?" asked the sergeant. "Aye, she spoke without interruption for about forty years," said the Irishman. ________________ Young O'Donnell rushed into a church, placed his rifle under a pew and entered the confessional. "Father," he said breathlessly, "I've just shot down two British lieutenants!" Hearing no response he went on: "I also knocked off a British captain!" When there was still no response from the priest, O'Donnell said, "Father, have ye fainted?" "Of course I haven't fainted," replied the confessor. "I'm waitin' for you to stop talkin' politics and commence confessin' your sins!" __________________ FUN PAGES from Lorraine Boxhead Zombie Wars http://tinyurl.com/d5xh43 Snowy Puzzle Islands http://tinyurl.com/9qpqdl SYDESJOKES LIST Bird Poop Warning http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001504.html PAPA Thorn St. Patrick Day Toons http://able2laff.com/?cat=91 St. Patrick Day Toons http://able2laugh.com/?cat=91 Cryptogram, Wordcross, Crossword Jumble & Jigsaw Puzzle http://able2laff.com/?p=2383 BUFFALO Bill Need a lift http://www.buffalosjokes.com/091237.htm Need Relief http://www.buffalosjokes.com/091238.htm THAT'S ALL FOLKS Have a nice day! FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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