[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

 
 
 
 
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
 
 
 
 
Most people are only alive because it is illegal to
shoot them.

 
 
 
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
I have a particular weakness for which I cannot overcome.
I dearly love eating potato chips and french onion dip. Don't
ask me why, Its a fact of life. Cholesterol be damned, I continue
the habit. The other day I was in the store looking for a good bargain
on a bag of chips. The brand of dip is without question. Its always
Spartan. I buy Spartan brand for a couple reasons, tastes good, and it
is a Michigan brand. But anyways, while browsing I was looking at potato
chip labels when one less known brand caught my eye. The company was
located in Detroit. It said that in 1930 there were 20 different potato
chip companies in the city. Today, it claimed to be the only chip
manufacturer left in Detroit. All the others left and moved overseas.
I bought the Detroit made chips. You know, we just spent 800 billion
dollars in a tax hike to stimulate the economy. We could have done more
for the economy and it would have been less expensive if Americans buy
American. Elimination of free trade would do far more for the US economy
than any stimulus the government could ever come up with.
Want to put Americans back to work? Buy American made.
I do.
Wonder why our president never wants to talk about that?
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
____________
 
THE COMICS
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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POWER POOINT DISPLAYS
 
 
 
 
 
COOL PICS
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A kitty and a rooster held a race.
They reached a stream.
The cat said to the rooster, "I'm not jumping that --
you KNOW cats hate getting wet!"
The rooster replied, "Don't be a chicken --
just back up and take a flying leap!"
The cat tried, and landed in the middle  of the stream.
The rooster smiled contentedly. "What's so bloody  funny?" asked the cat.
The rooster answered, "Well, NOTHING pleases a cock more'n seeing a wet pussy!!"
_______________
 
A young couple left the church and arrived at the hotel where
they were spending the first night of their honeymoon. They
opened the champagne and began undressing. When the bridegroom
removed his socks, his new wife asked, "Ewwww---what's wrong with
your feet? Your toes look all mangled and weird. Why are your feet so gross?"
"I had tolio as a child, " he answered. "You mean polio?" she asked.
"No, tolio. The disease only affected my toes." The bride was satisfied
with this explanation, and they continued undressing. When the groom
took off is pants, his bride wrinkled up her nose. "What's wrong with
your knees?" she asked. "They're all lumpy and deformed!"
"As a child, I also had kneasles," he explained. "You mean measles?"
she asked. "No, kneasles. It was a strange illness that only affected
my knees." The new bride had to be satisfied with this answer. As the
undressing continued, her husband at last removed his underwear.
"Don't tell me, " she said. "Let me guess.....Small Cox?"
____________
 
It was happy hour in the bar, and the air hung heavy in thick blue
folds as the regular bunch lit up some "happy weed."
Suddenly, a loud voice boomed from the entrance and demanded that
they open the door in the name of legality.
The smokers frantically gathered their still-smoking weeds and
stuffed them inside the cuckoo clock.
The police entered, searched diligently, found nothing and left.
The group breathed a sigh of relief, and made for the cuckoo clock
to retrieve their stash.
Just then, the clock's hands announced 6 pm. The little door popped open,
the bird poked his head out and said,
"Heyyyy duuuudes! What the fuck time is it?"
_____________
 
Little Johnny grabbed some cookies cooling on the kitchen counter
and his mother smacked his hand.
"OW! What did you do that for?" he said.
"Your hand was doing something it wasn't suppose to and it needed to be
punished. Now go see what your father is doing."
Little Johnny ran to the garage just as his father accidentally dropped
his hot glue gun on his hand. His father cursed in pain and batted the tool
away from his hand. Little Johnny ran back to his mother and said,
"Mom! Dad's smacking his tool in the garage. I think his tool needed
to be punished, too."
____________
 
Saturday had always been "cleaning day" in the old homestead,and
my mother still adhered to the ritual after all her childrenhad
left the nest.When I stopped by to visit her one Saturday, I was
surprised tofind her relaxing in a favorite chair."Aren't you feeling
well?" I asked."I feel fine.""But you're not cleaning.""After all these
years I've finally figured out how to get it donein half the time,"
Mom told me. "I simply take off my glasses."
___________
 
Two accountants were discussing a colleague's interest in
one of the firm's new secretaries.
"I just don't get it" said one. "She's an airhead -- nothing going on upstairs.
"That may be true," replied the other, "but I don't think that's the floor
he's getting off on."
______________
 
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Justice                     
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______________
 
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THAT'S ALL FOLKS
have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

 



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