Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
We have a couple of racing events today that won't make it
on ESPN. Downtown is the annual Outhouse race where
rather flimsy Outhouses on skis are pushed and pulled through
the tavern district in town. It is all in good fun though and the
pledged monies go to charity and you can drink and watch at the
same time.
Up at the I-500 track is the Tired Iron 150 which is a 75 mile race
for
400 cc and smaller snowmobiles over 25 years old. This is more than
just a test of speed in that it is rum on a track with hills and
left and right
turns and the aim is to finish the race not just destroy your
machine in
the first few laps. Weather will be 38 degrees today, a much more
comfortable temperature than the I-500 is usually run at. Besides
amateurs and older drivers, some previous 500 winners are dusting
off their old machines and participating.
I mentioned awhile back that people seem to like to breed dogs in
strange combinations these days and ask an arm and a leg for them.
I don't consider them exotic but mutts instead. Here is an ad I
received
today.
I AM TAKING DEPOSITS KNOW FOR TWO LITTERS OF PUPPS THE FIRST LITTER
IS ROTTI-POOS WHICH ARE ROTTI AND STANDARD POODLES THEY ARE C.K.C
AND U.K.C DOUBLE REGISTERD AND THE SECOND LITTER IS SNOUSNER AND TOY
POODLE WICH ARE CALLED SNOODLES AND THEY ARE ALSO DOUBLE REGISTERD
C.K.C AND U.K.C
I am not even going to try to correct the spelling but the proper
term for
the dog is a schnoodle as the dog is a Schnauzer. Just calling a dog
a
Rotti-poo is going to give him a complex that will take years with
the
dog whisperer to straighten out. I saw a Golden Doodle or a
Labradoodle
I can't remember which, nice dog but for 500 dollars. I also came
across a St.
Bernard- Rotti mix on the net that looked like neither but I think
you could
put a saddle on it and use it to herd cattle with except that it
was an indoor
dog. OK I won't pick on the dog owners about this anymore because
there
are a lot of strange cat breeds out there too.
Enjoy the chips .... buffalo
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Money Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A banker calls in an oilman to review his loans. "We loaned you a
million to revive your old wells, and they went dry." says the
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"Coulda been worse."
"Then we loaned you a million to drill new wells, and they were
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Ray
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
why it sucks to live in Alaska
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jogging
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Carwash
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Worried
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prison Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Four convicts were eating in the chow hall one day.
One says, "You guys mind if I fart?"
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A second guy says, "You guys mind if I fart?"
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Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I work at a hospital in labor and delivery. We had a patient whose
last name was Seaman. The patient was discharged, but the ward clerk
was not informed. Later in the day, admissions called and wanted to
know if the patient had been discharged. The ward clerk put
admissions
on hold and yelled out, "Who discharged Seaman?" After a long pause,
we all burst out laughing.
Have you heard about the masochist who had to break a date because
he
was going to be tied up all night?
"How did your evening with your new boyfriend go?" "It was a
disaster.
We were nude in bed in heavy foreplay and he had a premature
ejaculation.
was
the loveliest girl he had ever come across."
There's no business like show business, but there's no job like a
blowjob.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day, Little Johnny's teacher, Miss Figpot asked the class if
they
could
name some things you can suck!"
"Ice cream, ma'am!" Little Mary answered.
"Good, Jane." Miss Figpot said, "Anyone else?". "How about a
lollipop!"
said Steven.
"Very good, now it's your turn Johnny!", the teacher said. Little
Johnny, sitting at back then answered, "A lamp!".
The teacher and all of the students wondered about his answer. The
teacher
asked him, "Johnny, why do you think one can suck a lamp?"
Last night when I passed my parents room", Little Johnny answered,
"I
heard
my mom say, turn off the lamp, honey and let me suck it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jill: Do you know the difference between a man and an umbrella?
Lee: Uh, uh.
Jill: Well Lee, you better find out before you get under one.
I was playing golf yesterday and this one friend of mine was
suffering from his usual allergies, sneezing and blowing his nose
etc....
One of my other friends comes out with this line. "You know you're
getting old when you have to depend on Allegra by day, and Viagra by
night"
Jill: I knew I never should have visited that porn site last night.
Mary: Why? What's wrong?
Jill: When I turned on my computer this morning, it said, "You've
got
blackmail."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parrot Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Joe buys a parrot, and the first night he has it, he brings home a
girl,
and the parrot screeches, "He's gonna try to fuck you! He's gonna
try to
fuck you!"
After he takes her home, he says to the parrot, "You pull that shit
again, I'll slash your throat and throw you in the toilet."
The next night, he brings home a girl, and the parrot screeches,
"He's
gonna try to fuck you! He's gonna try to fuck you!"
Joe grabs the parrot, slashes his throat, and throws him in the
toilet.
He goes back to the girl and it turns out she's having her period,
so
she excuses herself to go yank out her tampon.
She's sitting on the bowl after she yanks it out, when she hears,
I'm
gonna live! I'm gonna live!"
She says, "What do you mean, 'You're gonna live'?"
The parrot points to her bloody snatch and says, "If you can live
with a
gash like THAT, I can live with a gash like This!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/My Hiding Place
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St.Patrick's Day
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Surfin Surfari
Lost In The Oldies
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Japanese Kite Collection
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Perfect Portions Via Wesley
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Custom Graphics design
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Open Any File Extension Via Wesley
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St.Patricks'
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Movie Clips
IKEA Ford
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Komiek
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Kosovo Music Video
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Latex Body Paint
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Dead or Alive Holly Vance
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James David Manning
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Girl Vs desert Eagle
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Global Warming and the Classroom
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Global Warming
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Glock
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Jeff Dunham Achmed the Dead
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Card Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hallmark Greetings
1. So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day... Look at
the bright
side, it's really good pay.
2. My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat. When I looked at the
tire... I
noticed your cat. Sorry!
3. You had your bladder removed and you're on the mend. Here's a
bouquet of
flowers... and a box of Depends.
4. Heard your wife left you, how upset you must be. But don't fret
about it...
She moved in with me.
5. Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't
help but
wonder... What the hell was I thinking?
6. Congratulations on your wedding day! ...Too bad no one likes your
husband.
7. How could two people as beautiful as you... Have such an ugly
baby?
8. I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love.
After having met
you... I've changed my mind.
9. I must admit, you brought Religion into my life... I never
believed in Hell
till I met you.
10. As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... That you're not
here to ruin
it for me.
11. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go ...would you
like to take
this knife out of my back? You'll probably need it again.
12. Someday I hope to get married... but not to you.
13. Happy birthday! You look great for your age... Almost Lifelike!
14. When we were together, you always said you'd die for me... Now
that we've
broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise.
15. I knew the day would come when you would leave me for my best
friend... So
here's his leash, water bowl and chew toys.
16. We have been friends for a very long time... let's say we stop?
17. I'm so miserable without you... it's almost like you're here.
18. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy... Did you ever find
out who the
father was?
19. You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and
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20.Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your
birthday... So
we're having you put to sleep.
21. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad! (Available only in Alabama and
Mississippi)
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Flaming Fanny
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Brain Waves
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New Years Resolution
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Fruit platter
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a girl from Nantucket.
Her boyfriend was about to up-chuck it.
She said with a grin,
"Wipe that cum from your chin.
I told you it's my job to suck it!"
-----
There was a young rector of Kings
Whose mind was on heavenly things,
But his heart was on fire
For a boy in the choir
Whose ass was like jelly on springs.
-----
There was a young lady of Wheeling
Who professed to lack sexual feeling.
But a cynic named Boris
Just touched her clitoris,
And she had to be scraped off the ceiling.
Karl K
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A stripper in a hurry to get home leaves the club with nothing
on but a loose coat. As she crosses the street a drunk driver
skids around the corner and hits her. She goes flying into the air
, and lands unconscious on her back with her charms
exposed to the world.
As a crowd gathers, a gentleman places his hat upon the stripper's
crotch in order to minimize her exposure. In the meantime the
drunk driver hardly aware he just hit someone, staggers over
to see what all the fuss is about.
Noticing the near naked woman lying exposed on the street,
he points to the strategically placed hat and slurs in a loud
voice,
"Well, the firthst ting we gotta do is get dat guy outta there!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A soldier was given the job of hunting for buffalo. To help
him, he hired an Indian Scout. The two of them set off on their
journey to find the herd.
After riding awhile, the Indian gets off his horse, puts his ear
to the ground and says "Hmm, buffalo come."
The soldier scans the area with his binoculars, but sees
nothing. He is confused and says to the Indian, "I do not see
anything. How do you know buffalo come"?
The Indian replies, "Ear sticky."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1542
March Madness
Katie: Sandi, why is father standing against the wall and hitting
his
head against it?
Sandi: We need to ask.
Rudy: Pops, what' s up?
BJ: Well, as you know Diana and I went to the Big 12 Tournament and
watched two of my favorite teams lose... Kansas and Kansas State. I
was just thinking back to my playing days and thinking....
Sandi: Tell us about the ancient days daddy. Did they use leather
balls
back then?
Rudy: Did they use the old peach baskets?
BJ: Grrr.. No it was basketball, but before the three point line.
I never
played in high school even though I was good enough. I was just too
shy
to try out. I played with the team on weekends and after school and
was
good as any of them and they knew it.
Sandi: So what happened?
BJ: The Air Force happened. I met a man who was an All American
from
the Big 10, he taught me a lot, and improved my game, but he did not
work
on my shyness. The next base I met a friend, a dear friend who
worked
on my shyness and the thing is .. he was a better basketball player
than the
all-American.
basketball
player I ever played with or against in my life.
Katie: Wow! What made him so special?
BJ: He could shoot equally well with either hand from long range
and he
was exceptionally quick, deceptivelly, quick. He shot free throws
at about
ninety percent and he rarely turned the ball over, an outstanding
ball
handler and defender, he had all the skills. He and I would go to
the gym
every day and work one on one.. he would kill me at first, then
later he
would just beat me.
Sandi: I see, you were getting used to his quickness and talent and
that
in turn, made you quicker and more talented.
To be continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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