THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
Better by far you should forget and smile
than that you should remember and be sad.
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The COMICS
customers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z026.html
you are so cute
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z027.html
I'm not asking
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z030.html
rape
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z029.html
shoes
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z030.html
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LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
the bbc
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/699.html
IKEA
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/700.html
Nancy Pelosi called Harry Reid into her office one
day and said, "Harry, I have a great idea! I know
how we can win back Middle America in 2012."
"Great, but how do you propose we go about that?" asked Harry.
"Well," Nancy responded, "we'll go down to a local
Wal-Mart, get some cheesy clothes and shoes like most
middle Americans wear and then we'll stop at the pound and
pick up a labrador. When we look the part we'll go to a
nice old country bar in Middle America, and we'll show them
that we really enjoy the countryside and show admiration and
respect for the hard-working people living there."
A few days later, all decked out and with the requisite Labrador
at heel, they set off from Washington in a westerly direction.
Eventually they arrived at just the place they were looking for.
With dog in tow they walk into the bar. They stepped up to the bar.
The bartender took a step back and asked, "Aren't you Harry Reid
and Nancy Pelosi?"
Nancy answered, "Yes we are, and what a lovely town you have here
We were just passing through and Harry suggested that we stop
and take in some local color." They then ordered a couple of beers
from the bartender and proceed to drink them down, all the while
chatting up a storm with anyone who would listen.
All of a sudden, the bar room door opened and a grizzled old farmer
came in. He walked up to the labrador, lifted its tail and looked
underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked out the door. A few
moments later, in came another old farmer. He walked up to the dog,
lifted its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head and then left the bar.
Over the course of the next hour or so, another four or five farmers
came in, lifted the dog's tail, and went away looking puzzled. Eventually
Nancy and Harry could stand it no longer and called the bartender over.
"Tell me," asked Nancy, "why did all those old farmers come in and l
ook under the dog's tail like that? Is it some sort of old custom?"
"Good Lord no," said the bartender. "It's just that someone has told
them that there was a labrador in this bar with two assholes."
_____________
A guy is sitting in a bar, absolutely drooling at a pretty
young thing in her short, pink mini-dress. Using the time
honored ice breaker, he sends her a drink.
"How lucky am I," he thinks, as she gets up to come sit
next to him. They strike up a wonderful conversation.
Finally the girl turns to him and says, "Look, you seem like
a really nice guy, so I have to tell you that I'm a working girl.
I get two hundred dollars for what you think you'll ply out of
me with liquor."
He replies, "I have no problem with the money but, since you
were so straightforward I must tell you that when I come, I
go nuts. I bite, scratch, kick, punch, pull hair, break
furniture, and just plain destroy the place."
"Oh my God! How long does that last?" she asked.
"Just until I get my two hundred bucks back," he replied.
____________
DIFFICULT WORDS TO SAY WHEN YOU ARE DRUNK.
Specificity
Indubitably
Innovative
Preliminary
Proliferation
Cinnamon
British Constitution
IMPOSSIBLE WORDS TO SAY WHEN YOU ARE DRUNK
Thanks, but I don't want sex.
No, I don't want another drink.
No kebab for me thank you.
Sorry, but you're not good looking enough for me.
Good evening officer
I'm not interested in fighting you.
No one wants to hear me sing.
_____
FUN PAGES
Mr. Bean
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=20497&s=n
Poker Hands
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42395&s=n
Eating 12 Pounds of Cereal
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42406&s=n
Rhonda's Dishwasher
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=6456&s=n
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM
MARTIN AKA THE POSTMAN!
__._,_.___
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