Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Buffalos chips held hostage, day three. Direct Nic has had their
money for several days
now but the domain for sale signs are still up. Probably after the
problems with the
combination for mom's safe after her death, Nancy went into all of
our accounts and
changed the passwords to ones we were familiar with so we were able
to get in with
very little problem. I suspect thee is no one working this weekend
so it will be tomorrow
before we get back on the net.
Have you been tracking the global cases of animal and bird deaths
lately. I felt withdrawn
from this till last night when just a few blocks from my house I
found dozens of dead frozen
birds and fish. I don't know what happened to the poor things but
the fishwas dried out and smelled
of smoke. I had planned on collecting a bunch of each and taking
them to the fish and game
people at the DNR for testing but the people at the door said that I
had to pay for the fryers
and smoked whitefish first. I guess that supermarket is just not
interested in animal welfare
like I am.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
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Man Chips
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Six Short Stories For Men, By Men
ONE
I was walking through the cemetery this morning and saw a guy
crouching down behind a tombstone. I said, "Mourning?."
He said, "No, just taking a shit."
TWO
When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I
realized that God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked
Him to forgive me.
THREE
My girlfriend was in labor with our first child. She was shouting,
"Get this out of me! Give me the drugs!" She looked at me and
yelled, "You did this to me, you bastard!" I casually replied, "If
you remember, I wanted to stick it up your ass but you said, 'That
would hurt too much'."
FOUR
I went to an extremely attractive female doctor today for my annual
checkup.. She told me that I had to quit masturbating. I asked why
and she said, "Because I'm trying to examine you."
FIVE
I was walking down the road and saw my Afghani neighbor Abdul
standing on his fifth floor apartment balcony shaking a carpet. I
shouted up to him, "What's wrong, Abdul? Won't it start?"
SIX
My girlfriend and I were making love when she looked up at me and
said, "Make love to me like in the movies." So I turned her over on
all fours, stuck it in her ass, pulled out, flipped her back over
and came all over her face and hair. I never saw her again after
that night. I guess we don't watch the same movies.
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
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AOL Chips
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AOL: America Online, this is Sue speaking.
Caller: Hi, I have some questions about American Online before I
join.
AOL: Okay, ma'am, what's your question?
Caller: Well, some of my friends who have AOL say they get something
called "cybersex"... does this cost extra?
AOL: (quiet laugh in the background) Well ma'am... I don't know how
to explain this, but cybersex is not part of America Online.
Caller: Oh really? My friends said they got it from AOL.
AOL: Well it's something members typically do when they go to a chat
room.
Caller: Hmmmm...I don't understand, what is cybersex??
AOL: I'm sorry, I really don't know how to explain it.
Caller: Hmmm..well, have you ever had cybersex?
AOL: Ma'am, I don't think that's an appropriate question to be
asking me. Is there anything else you need?
Caller: Sorry, like I said I don't even know what it is.
AOL: That's okay ma'am, anything else?
Caller: Yes, I have one more question.
AOL: Go ahead...
Caller: What are you wearing?
AOL: <click>
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Random Chips
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Rectal biopsies can be a real pain in the ass.
There was an announcement in our homeowners association bulletin of
a meeting of the local Premature Ejaculators Anonymous group at the
clubhouse at 8 PM Wednesday. I decided to go and see what the group
was like. I walked into the clubhouse meeting room just before 8:00
that evening and found the room completely empty. It was then I
realized that I came too soon.
Tip for beginning rock stars: Never moon the audience while
suffering from projectile diarrhea ~ that's when the shit hits the
fan.
The guy went into a restaurant and ordered his meal. When the
waitress came out with his soup, he noticed that she had her thumb
stuck into the soup. This upset him, but he let it go. She then
brought out his chili, and again her thumb was in the food. He let
it go again. When she brought out his hot fudge sundae, her thumb
was in the food and this was too much for him. "Gawdammit," said
the man, "get your damn thumb out of my food!" "Well, I injured it a
while ago, and the doctor said I should keep it warm." "Why don't
you just shove it up your ass?" the man said angrily. "OH," she
replied, "that's what I do when I'm in the kitchen!"
The sex-ed class was dismissed early when order couldn't be restored
after the teacher stated that simultaneous orgasms were mostly a
stroke of luck.
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The newly wed seniors were having sexual problems. The counselor
thought it might be due to the fact that the woman was taller. He
suggested special shoes with build-up heels to help the man's ego.
The next month, he asked if things had improved in their love life
with the shoes.
"Well yes..." the woman replied, "but those shoes get the sheets so
dirty."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The girl called a sex therapist and said, "Remember when you told me
the way to a man's heart was through his stomach? Well, last night
I found a new route... Now I need some birth control pills."
The doc asked, "What's his occupation?"
The girl said, "Army."
"Active or retired?"
"If he wasn't active, I wouldn't need these damn pills, would I?!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"But this isn't an engagement ring." the young lady protested. "Why
it's just a tiny unset diamond."
"Yeah ! I know." said the fellow, "And, it'll be mounted in a
cluster around a big one, the very day after you are."
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Random Chips
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"My ex thought he was so good he called himself 'Hammer.'" "Why? I
don't understand." "He liked to talk about how often he nailed me."
An eight-year-old boy asked his father what is the difference with
an old-time woman's panty and a now-a- days panty. His father told
him that from his experience the only suitable answer he could give
him was that you had to move the panty to see the ass a long time
ago, but now you have to move the ass to see the panty!
Gay politicians are always seeking mandates.
The drinker announced to the bartender, "It seems I've been
informally named advisor on 'Sexual Matters' at my company." "That
sounds interesting. Does this mean you'll be counseling the big
bosses on relations with their secretaries?" "I'm not sure yet," he
answered. "During a staff meeting, I popped up to suggest a
reduction in executive expense accounts and it was after that I was
told if they ever wanted my fuckin, advice, they'd let me know."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/A Little Pop(music)
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Wav_Pop/SiteMap.html
Brother Bob's Poems Of The Week:
http://ministry-webs.com/ministry/brotherbob/index.html
From Kathryn/Rise And Shine
http://adreamandasmile.com/Gd_morn/Rise_And_Shine2.html
Texas Bob w/A Bag Of Potatoes?
http://texasbobsworld.com/a_bag_of_potatoes.htm
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Surfin Surfari
Influenza (Flu)
http://www.cdc.gov/flu/
MR. BAD IDEAS
http://www.mrbadideas.com/
Paper Toys
http://www.papertoys.com/
Blink Of An Eye
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/eye.html
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Adobe - Security bulletins and advisories
http://www.adobe.com/support/security/
Ancient Legendary Ruler's Tomb Found Via Wesley
http://tinyurl.com/yzyae5p
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Animal World
Birth Of An Elk
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/elk.html
Hippo And Tortoise
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activated too.
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Movie Links
Lou Charloff, "Herschel the Magnificent Jew"
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/696.html
fireman gets squirted
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/697.html
the gavel
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/698.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two fat European businessdudes returned to the Tokyo whorehouse in a
state of great rage.
"I was here last week and caught a case of the clap!" he shouted at
the madam.
"Toyota," said the madam.
"What the hell does that mean, Toyota?" asked the enraged customer.
She smiled and said, "You asked for it, you got it!"
A group of rednecks sat around the pot-bellied stove in the country
store, discussing the mysteries of life. "I'm going deaf and
blind,"
sighed one old fellow.
"I don't know what the good Lord wants to leave me here for."
"Now, Mr. McCoy," replied his Pastor friend, "the Lord's ways are
not our ways, and we can't always understand. But if He's left you
here He's got work for you to do."
Mr. McCoy sat for a minute in quiet meditation, then announced,
"Well, screw Him,...I'm not a-gonna do it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
what killed him
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z021.html
go ahead
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what???
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hope she does not notice
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meet sexy women
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z025.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ginger was feeling quite gruff
'Til he placed his head in her muff
Then she purred like a kitty
When his tongue hit her clitty
Saying, "I just can't get enough!"
_________________________________
I wooed a buxom young nude in Bermuda,
I was lewd, but my God! She was lewder.
She said it was crude
To be wooed in the nude --
I pursued her, subdued her, and screwed her!
_________________________________
I once had a ladyfriend, Rose,
Double-jointed she was I suppose.
And I watched fascinated,
As Rose masturbated;
Herself with the tip of her nose.
<snagged by>
Ross
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two women were bemoaning the state of the National
Health Service. One said, "Do you know, my
ninety-three-year-old mother has been waiting over a
year for her operation?"
"That's appalling," said the other woman. "What a
terrible way to treat someone of that age."
"I know," said the first woman. "It got so bad that
at one point I even said to her,
'Mum, do you really need bigger boobs?'"
Patricia
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn Vol 1960
Wish List
Katie: Come here guys look what I found.
Rudy: What do you have Katie?
Katie: It is a list of what father would like to get before he
retires.
Val: Wanna see wanna see.
Sandi: It may be personal. Put it back.
Rudy: Nah, we can put it back after we read it. What's on the list
Katie?
Katie: He would like to get a 3D TV.
Rudy: Wow. I hope he gets glasses for all of us. Val: What's next?
Katie: He would like to get either a Viper or a Prowler.
Rudy: Whoa, that's not good. I would attack either one.
Sandi: They are cars silly.
Val: Are they cool cars?
Katie: Oh yes..
Sandi: Okay what's next?
Katie: Last thing is a second surround sound system in the bedroom.
Val: You bedroom Katie?
Katie: No silly, fathers. I already have one.
The herd
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Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
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William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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