THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Another good thing about being poor
is that when you are seventy,
your children will not have declared you legally
insane in order to gain control of your estate.
~Woody Allen
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Aah, the Golden Years!
SPECIAL POEM FOR OLDER FOLKS
A row of bottles on my shelf
Caused me to analyze myself.
One yellow pill I have to pop
Goes to my heart so it won't stop.
A little white one that I take
Goes to my hands so they won't shake.
The blue ones that I use a lot
Tell me I'm happy when I'm not.
The purple pill goes to my brain
And tells me that I have no pain.
The capsules tell me not to wheeze
Or cough or choke or even sneeze..
The red ones, smallest of them all
Go to my blood so I won't fall.
The orange ones, very big and bright
Prevent my leg cramps in the night.
Such an array of brilliant pills
Helping to cure all kinds of ills.
But what I'd really like to know...........
Is what tells each one where to go!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
______________
THE COMICS
what killed him
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z021.html
go ahead
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z022.html
what???
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z023.html
hope she does not notice
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z024.html
meet sexy women
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z025.html
____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Lou Charloff, "Herschel the Magnificent Jew"
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/696.html
fireman gets squirted
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/697.html
the gavel
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/698.html
_____________
POWER POINR DISPLAY
McDonalds calendar-2011
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd563.html
The first grade teacher was starting a new lesson
on multi-syllable words. She thought it would be a
good idea to ask a few of the children
for examples of words with more than one syllable.
"Jane, Do you know any multi-syllable words?" asked
the teacher. After some thought Jane proudly replied,
"Monday." "Great Jane," said the teacher.
"That has two syllables, Mon......day"
Then she asked, "Does anyone know another word?"
"I do! I do!" replied Johnny. Knowing Johnny's more
mature sense of humor she picked Mike instead --
"Okay, Mike, what is your word?"
"Saturday!" said Mike. "Great, that has three syllables..."
Not wanting to be outdone, Johnny said,
"I know a four syllable word. Pick me! Pick me!"
Not thinking he could do any harm with a word that
large, the teacher cautiously said, "Okay, Johnny,
what is your four syllable word?"
Johnny proudly stated, "Mas...tur...ba...tion."
Shocked, the teacher tried to her composure and said,
"Wow, Johnny. Four syllables! That's certainly is a mouthful."
"No Ma'am," shouted Johnny. "You're thinking of
'blow-job', and that's only two syllables."
_____________
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs, and one
night he's doing a show in a small town in Arizona .
With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through
his usual dumb blonde jokes. Suddenly a blonde woman
in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting:
"I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What
makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What
does the color of a person's hair have to do with her
worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women
like me from being respected at work and in the community,
and from reaching our full potential as a person because
you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination
against not only blondes, but women in general...and
all in the name of humor!"
The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the
blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking
to that little guy on your knee."
____________
A wife, one evening, drew her husband's attention to
the couple next door and said, "Do you see that couple?
How devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet.
Why don't you do that?"
"I would love to," replied the husband,
"but I don't know her well enough."
____________
Mrs. was watching a cooking show on tv.
I said "why? you can't cook."
She said, "you watch porn."
FUN PAGES
Strongest Tongue
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42244&s=n
Call of Duty 2
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41582&s=n
Lion Eats Sloth
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42401&s=n
Suffocation Suicide
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42408&s=n
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
MArtin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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