Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Those of you that went through boot camp at Great Lakes may find the
following interesting. The Navy did a study and discovered they
were wasting two and a half hours a day just getting recruits back
and forth to the mess hall. To recover some of that time the Navy
is constructing a mess hall in each of the barracks, a total of 16
chow halls. This is not surprising as many university dorm
complexes have their own cafeteria. I think the most time was spent
standing in line instead of marching back and forth.
The larger of the two mess halls serves 4800 people at a time with
another company entering every five minutes. It is designed to give
you exactly 10 minutes from the time you sit down to the time you
get up to leave and then someone is clearing your table for the next
group that will be there. We ate the same way aboard ship though
and our wives wonder why we are done eating and ready to go watch TV
while they are still having a salad.
Even though there are still Mess Management Specialists in charge of
everything there is actually very little cooking done in the
kitchens at Great Lakes as most items are purchased already
prepared. The actual cooks are hired from Goodwill Industries
freeing up more Chefs to spend their time on ships and smaller
stations.
Currently the bussing of tables and scullery functions are done by
recruits in the fifth week of their nine and a half week boot camp.
I believe my service week was the ninth week of 13 weeks. This is
coming to an end too and soon the cafeterias will be staffed totally
by civilians. I don't really care for this idea because even though
I never had to mess cook except for one day in the Navy ( I spent my
week handing out projectors and driving a buffer) I think service
week gives some of those kids that have never had a job in their
life a glimpse at what shipboard life is going to be like. Most of
the high school kids that came to work in the factory didn't even
know how to use a mop or a swab and a buffer would eat them alive.
The Hotel and Restaurant Association grades the mess halls at all
bases the same as they do civilian establishments. Overall the mess
hall at Great Lakes currently has a 4 star rating
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
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Wrestling Chips
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Before the final match, the Norwegian wrestling coach came to Ole
and said, "Now, don't forget all the research we've done on this
Russian.
He's never lost a match because of this 'pretzel' hold he has".
Whatever you do, do not let him get you in that hold! If he does,
you're finished'.
Ole nodded in acknowledgment.
As the match started, Ole and the Russian circled each other several
times, looking for an opening. All of a sudden, the Russian lunged
forward, grabbing Ole and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel
hold.
A sigh of disappointment arose from the crowd and the coach buried
his face in his hands, for he knew all was lost. He couldn't watch
the inevitable happen.
Suddenly, there was a scream, then a cheer from the crowd and the
coach raised his eyes just in time to watch the Russian go flying up
in the air. His back hit the mat with a thud and Ole collapsed on
top of him making the pin and winning the match.
The crowd went crazy. The coach was astounded.
When he finally got his wrestler alone, he asked, "How did you ever
get out of that hold? No one has ever done it before!"
Ole answered, "Vell, I vas ready to give up ven he got me in dat
hold, but at da last moment, I opened my eyes and saw dis pair of
testicles right in front of my face. I had nuttin' to lose so wid my
last ounce of strength I stretched out my neck and bit dose babies
just as hard as I could."
So the trainer exclaimed, "That's what finished him off!"
"Vel not really. You'd be amazed how strong you get ven you bite
your own nuts!"
Amy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
this is your captain speaking
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a076.html
lunch
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a077.html
the cause
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a078.html
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Nipple Chips
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Dear Prudence,
I find myself at the age of 31 wondering what proper nipple
etiquette is. I recently read an article that led me to realize that
some people are offended by the sight of the outline of a woman's
nipples showing through her clothing. I own a variety of bras, some
padded and some not. I know that if I wear an unpadded bra and it
gets cold, the outline of my nipples will show through my top. My
mother never mentioned anything about this when I was growing up
(she didn't object when I sometimes went braless as a teen), and the
only person who has ever said anything about my nipples is my
boyfriend. I am inclined to think that it is not improper, and I
have never been offended by the sight of nipples. Would you please
educate me?
-Nipply
Dear Nipply,
To educate myself I turned to the women of Slate, who enlightened me
on their bra-washing schedules the last time bra etiquette came up.
This time the responses ranged from, "No nip. Never" to "What can
you do-sometimes nipples are visible" to "A little nipple is fine.
Women have breasts, people should get over it" to "It feels rude and
intrusive, demanding everyone look" to "Some nippage is inevitable,
though I wouldn't expect men to behave like adults and divert their
gaze." So I will anoint myself the nipple arbiter and say,
particularly at the office, keep your nipples under wraps. This does
not mean wearing a Kevlar bra; it means finding one with enough
lining or tensile strength to make sure that if you're cold, or if
you're thinking about Mark Ruffalo, the rest of the office won't
know. If you want to wear lingerie that's sheer and silky, then make
sure you're wearing thick enough layers of clothing so that your
colleagues can't see if you're standing at attention. It will
improve office productivity; you've probably noticed that when
you're talking to male colleagues and your nipples are straining at
your blouse, the men tend to forget the point they were trying to
make. After hours, it's your choice. But remember, if you release
your nipples, some people are going to have a hard time remembering
to look you in the eye.
-Prudie
Lesley
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Bra Chips
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I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends.
One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+
years.
We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our
men by
greeting them at the door
Wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We
agreed to
meet in a few days to exchange notes..
Here's how it all went.
My engaged friend:
The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black
leather
bodice, tall stilettos and a mask.
He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams.
I love you.' Then we made passionate love all night long.
The mistress:
Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was
wearing a
raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and
Mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word,
but he
started to tremble and we had wild sex all night.
Then I had to share my story:
When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra,
Black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes.
When he came in the door and saw me he said,
"What's for dinner, Zorro?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A minister who was very fond of pure, hot horseradish always kept a
bottle of it on his dining room table. He offered some to a guest,
who took a big spoonful. When the guest finally was able to speak,
he gasped, "I've heard many ministers preach hellfire, but you are
the first one I've met who passed out a sample of it."
----------------------------------
I'm thinking about getting married. I looked up the word "engaged"
in the dictionary. It said, "To do battle with the enemy." Then I
looked up mother-in-law. It said, "See engaged."
-----------------------------------
A friend hosted a dinner party for people from work, and everyone
was encouraged to bring their children. All during the sit-down
dinner one co-worker's three -year-old girl stared at the man
sitting across from her. The girl could hardly eat her food from
staring. The man checked his tie, felt his face for food, patted
his hair in place, but nothing stopped her from staring at him. He
tried his best to just ignore her but finally it was too much for
him. He asked her, "Why are you staring at me?" Everyone at the
table had noticed her behavior and the table went quiet for her
response. The little girl said, "I just want to see how you drink
like a fish!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Knife Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lisa, a strikingly beautiful young Brunette, sat across the table
from Tom, in a fancy restaurant. She smiled as Tom finished
proposing to her. "I'm not sure, let me think about it," she
answered.
Tom was crushed but kept his composure. After dinner they went to
her place. The mood was romantic, and Tom was eager to make love to
Lisa. She stopped him and said, "Before we get married, or even make
love, I want you to buy me something"
"Sure my love, you name it. A car, a pearl necklace, diamond
earrings, you name it."
"I want a solid gold Boy Scout knife."
Stunned, Tom asked, "But why? I can buy you anything you want. Why
must it be a solid gold Boy Scout knife?"
"I can't tell you, but I won't make love to you until I get one."
Tom searched high and low but couldn't find the knife. Desperate, he
had a jeweler make one for him.
The next time they met at her place for a romantic evening, he again
suggested they make love. Again she said she couldn't without first
receiving the solid gold Boy Scout knife. With a smile he handed her
a small gift-wrapped box. She carefully opened it and saw the knife.
They went off to the bedroom where she opened a large hope chest at
the foot of her bed. She placed the knife inside, but not before Tom
saw the contents of the hope chest. It was filled with solid gold
Boy Scout knifes.
"What's this? The whole thing is filled with gold knifes?"
"I can't tell you," she replied.
After several minutes of badgering, she finally relented and said,
"Someday I will be older. My hair will turn gray, my face will start
to get wrinkles and my beauty will fade. Who will want me then? But,
can you imagine what a Boy Scout would do for one of these knifes?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Melva/Beau ~ A Poem
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Surfin Surfari
COMEDIAN CHARLIE CALLAS DEAD IN LAS VEGAS AT 83
http://deathbeeper.com/6238021.html
Hang Drums Via Carol
http://www.wimp.com/hangdrums/
Chocolate - All About Chocolate - History of Chocolate
http://www.fieldmuseum.org/chocolate/history.html
Comparison Of American Cities
http://www.bestplaces.net
Love Test
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lovetest.html
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Image to HTML/ASCII
http://tinyurl.com/ycgfwvj
Backgrounds
http://www.masterdiz.com/web01/bganim5.htm
Crazy Text
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
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Hoppy The Deer
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Only in L.A
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Onzin
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Original Farmers Daughters
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Alien Fishing For Humans
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Are You Going To Finish Strong
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Arkansas Wedding
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Baby Girl On Jay Leno Show
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two blondes are racing down a bumpy back road in a pretty beat up
car down to a bank they're going to rob. "Drive slower" pleads the
one in the passenger seat, "I don't want all the nitro in the boot
to explode." "Relax," the driver replies, "even if it did, I've got
a spare box under the seat . . . "
~~~~~~
Lars asked Ole, "Do ya know da difference between a Norvegian and a
canoe?" "No, I don't," said Ole. "A canoe will sometimes tip,"
explained Lars.
~~~~~~
All of Iraq's oil fields are under U.S. control which is ironic
considering all the gas stations here are run by Middle Easterners.
~~~~~~~
A sergeant in a parachute regiment regularly took part in night-time
exercises. One night he was seated next to a lieutenant, fresh from
Jump School. He was quiet, sad, and looked a bit pale, so the
sergeant struck up a conversation. "Scared, Lieutenant?", he asked.
"No, just a bit apprehensive," said the lieutenant. The sergeant
asked, "What's the difference?" The Lieutenant replied, "That means
I'm too chicken to admit that I am scared!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Huge Dick
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32171.htm
Free To Good Home
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32172.htm
Denmark News
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32173.htm
Dont Point
http://www.buffaloschips.com/41245.htm
Taliban Singles
http://www.buffaloschips.com/41253.htm
Gas
http://www.buffaloschips.com/41254.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A destitute lady named Laker
Accosted and fucked a lewd Quaker.
When she asked him for bread,
He smiled sagely and said,
"If thee wisheth bread, fuck a baker."
An ingenious botanist named Pace,
Grew cunts in pots at his place.
When they ripened, he'd pluck 'em
And eat them or fuck them--
'Cause they were simpler to grow than to chase.
For men who are not up to par,
Be bold, and in life you will star.
There's no need to get flustered
If you can't cut the mustard.
You'll do fine if you just lick the jar.
There once was a young man from Virtualand,
Who traded real life for a wedding band,
He signed onto the net,
His betrothed got upset,
And she lopped off his link @ the ampersand!
Yer Hillbilly friend in TN...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The husband and wife were undressing one night when she said, "Joyce
and Mary were talking about their husbands' anatomy today. Joyce
said that her husband filled out his shorts so well that they hired
him to model Jockey shorts." Her husband said, "So?"
Then Mary said "her husband go so long and hard that they hired him
to model condoms."
"I hope you stood up for me," he said.
"I did," his wife replied." I told them you could be a model, too."
"Thank you." "
"If," she went on, "anybody needed a model for a cocktail wiener."
The loneliness of a middle-aged man and woman - both divorcees,
eventually blossomed into love and finally marriage, but the wedding
night turned into a real disaster.
"You just do not fulfill me sexual expectations," the bride
commented the following morning.?
You're right about that." replied the new husband. "But when I
promised to fill the void in your life, I simply had no idea that it
would be so blooming large!"
?
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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