Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
From the Archives, my Navy ghost story.
The Navy in order to keep a better eye on the propulsion area of the
ship created an in-port watch, called a roving patrol, to inspect
each space every half hour. They divided the six spaces between two
men as you had to go up and down 4 flights of stairs to get to each
space. I went down into the first machinery room on the 0000-0400
watch and stopped by the operating station to sign the log book.
The cold-iron watch was pouring two cups of coffee and I asked if he
had another person on watch with him. The watch said, " No, this
cup is for the ghost." That immediately piqued my interest and he
started to tell me about a fire that had happened long before he had
reported onboard where several sailors had died. One had been
trapped by the main reduction gear and the imprint of the body was
still visible on the metal if you chipped the paint off. He sat one
cup on a platform next to the reduction gear and took the other cup
to drink as he went down to finish a valve he was repairing on the
lower level. He also told me about another body whose imprint was
on the deck plating and that it had disturbed so many people, they
had finally replaced that particular plate. I finished my tour of
the space and left the watch to his work and hurried off to complete
my rounds, but not without first walking past the cup of coffee by
the reduction gear which was already empty. I always wondered if
what I had seen was really true or if someone had managed to play a
trick on me, but awhile back I was researching the Constellation
cruises and found the story of a fire just after she was built that
had been caused by a broken fuel oil line. This fire had happened
on one of her shake down cruises and four engineers had died and 8
more had been injured. I spent numerous cold iron watches in that
space, all alone and you always felt secure, thirty feet below the
water there were plenty of odd noises as the hull expanded and
contracted and many nights after having been relieved from watch I
curled up on the deck plates with a handful of rags for a pillow,
eager to get a few hours sleep before work in the morning. I guess
the ghosts watched over us because deaths in a fire room that felt
like the bowels of Hell were few and far between.... Enjoy the
chips... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Paying too much for Life Insurance
SAVE up to 70% on your policy!
http://buffaloschips.com/nhqins
Compare Your Coverage:
A 30 Year Old Man Can Get:
$250,000 ....... as low as ... $10.28 per month
$500,000 ....... as low as ... $16.19 per month
$1,000,000 .... as low as ... $25.38 per month
Get a FREE No-Hassle Quote Now!
Protect your family's future
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Never thank a woman for having sex with you. Let her find out on her
own that she's made a really bad mistake.
?
A Japanese scientist has invented a spray-on Viagra. And if you
thought the cosmetic clerks at the mall were annoying before when
they spritzed you..."
?
Viagra is the work of the devil. Now we girls can look forward to
having sex with really old guys, for a really long time. I can see
it now. He's screaming, 'Who's your granddaddy, who's your
granddaddy? I can't remember.
What were we doing? Was I enjoying it?'"
?
"I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little
spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use?
toothpicks?"
?
Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds?
?
Becuase there are twenty of them.
?
The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and
stupidity.
?
How can you identify the Polock at a Cock fight? He's the one who
brought the duck.
?
How can you identify the Italian at the Cock fight? He's the one who
bets on the duck.
?
How can you tell if the Mafia is involved in the Cock fight? If the
duck wins, they are.
?
What's worse than an achy breaky heart? an itchy bitchy wife!
?
a word of advice..... NEVER commit a crime with an accomplice that
can't run!!
?
I know a lingerie buyer who gave his wife the slip.
?
I love oral sex. But, it's the phone bill I hate.
?
Why don't cowboys make good lovers? Because they think a good ride
is eight seconds.
?
President Bush is the first U.S. President to spend the night in
Buckingham Palace, at the request of the royal family. As he was
showing the President around, Prince Charles asked Bush if he wanted
to see Big Ben, and Bush replied, "Whoa, I'm from Texas; don't try
any of that funny stuff with me."
?
What is the difference between a good lawyer and a great Lawyer? A
good lawyer knows the law and a great lawyer knows the judge.
?
What's the difference between a police car and a porcupine?
Porcupines have pricks on the outside
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
HD Ode to Joyous Flight (Sky Fighters/Les Chevaliers du Ciel)
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/706.html
what do you think?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/707.html
only in Japan
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/708.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The teacher walked into the classroom to find words like "cunt" and
"cock" scrawled all over the blackboard. She suspected Little
Johnny, but could not prove it.
"Children," she said, addressing the classroom, "you are much too
young to use vile language like that. Now we're all going to close
our eyes and count up to fifty. Then, while our eyes are closed, I
want the little boy or girl who wrote those words on the board to
tiptoe up and erase them."
At the signal, the teacher and the children all closed their eyes.
Then the teacher counted out loud, very slowly. She peeked and saw
Little Johnny leave his seat. When she reached fifty, she said,
"All right. Everybody open their eyes." She was very pleased with
Little Johnny for doing the right thing.
All eyes went to the blackboard, but none of the words were erased.
Below them was the message: "Fuck you, teacher! The Phantom strikes
again!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Microcam - Capture Any Moment Any Time
One of the world's smallest DV camcorders from Bell + Howell, a
trusted brand in photo technology for over 100 years. It's so tiny,
yet records high resolution digital video and still photos with
sound. It's super wide lens lets you capture all the action. The
micro cam is not only manually operated, but is sound and motion
activated too.
Payment plans available - order yours today.
Learn More
http://tinyurl.com/26ebmw8
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It happened on the corner of Broadway and 47th Street. The girl
leaned against the building, running her fingers through her
bleached hair and smiling more than-casually at the male passers-by.
She wore a plaid skirt and a low-cut V-neck sweater. Finally, one of
her come hither looks paid off and she was approached by a young man
with a familiar glint in his eye. "Hi," he said, undressing her
mentally. "Hello, handsome." His eyes focused on her sweater and the
curves it almost covered. "What's the V for?" he asked. "Veronica?"
"Uh-uh. Virgin." "Oh, come on," he said playfully. "You're a
virgin?" "No," she winked. "It's an old sweater."
?
Then there was the young married woman who drove 50 miles just to
get 6 inches away from home.
?
All eyes turned to stare as Suzanne, a gorgeous redhead walked into
the costume party stark naked. The alarmed host rushed to intercept
her. "Where's your costume?" he hissed through clenched teeth. "This
is it," she calmly explained. "I came as Adam." "Adam?" her host
exploded. "You don't even have a dick!" "Well gee, I just got here,"
she replied. "Give me a few minutes!
?
Scientists have revealed today that they have found a new drug for
depressed lesbians. It's called Trydixagain.
?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The One Stop Snuggie Total Shop
Americas Favorite Blanket with Sleeves!
Weve got every Snuggie ever made:
-Original Snuggie
-Designer Snuggie
-Snuggie for Dogs
-Outdoors Snuggie
-Snuggie for Kids
-Sports Snuggies and More!
Why buy a Snuggie anywhere else?
Order Now!
http://tinyurl.com/2345j9l
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There were three brothers, one was 19, one was 16, and the youngest,
Little Johnny, was 9. Johnny walked into the living room one day and
saw his big brother having sex with his girl friend. Johnny said
"Big
brother, whatcha doing?" Big brother says "Oh, uh, we're uh, making
pizza." So Johnny said, "Oh, okay," and then walked off. A little
later, Johnny walked into the middle brother's bedroom and found him
having sex with his girlfriend. Johnny said, "Brother, whatcha
doing?" The middle brother answered, "Uh, we're making pizza. Yeah,
that's what we're doing." Little Johnny said, "Oh. Okay," and walked
off. Well a little later, Johnny was walking with his girl friend,
and he said "Hey, wanna go make pizza with me?" The little girl said
"Sure." They walked back to Johnny's house, went into his room and
started having sex. Well, after a while the little girl said, "Uh, I
think the pizza is done." Johnny asked, "How do you know that?" She
answered, "Cuz the cheese is running down my leg."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Solar Flex - Far Infrared Heat Mat
Bring the yoga studio to your home and avoid the costly, crowded
classes. Solar Flex is the fitness tool that radiates far infrared
heat waves deep into your body - start off warm then get hot. The
radiant heat allows your body to stretch farther than ever before
and burn double the calories.
Try it for 30 days.
Learn More
http://tinyurl.com/2d5yjup
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman should not marry a basketball player because they dribble
when they shoot.
"Just try to relax, this won't take long," said the gynecologist
trying to calm the obviously nervous young blonde patient. "Haven't
you ever been examined like this before?" he asked. "Yeah, sure,"
she replied, "but not by a doctor!"
It was soon after my divorce that I got my first "score".
Afterwards I told my date, '" didn't think women were supposed to
move like that during sex." She asked me, "Who gave you that idea?"
I told her, "My ex-wife."
A college student picked up his date at her parents home. He'd
scraped together every cent he had to take her to a fancy
restaurant. Once at the fancy place, to his dismay she ordered
almost every most expensive item on the menu. She ordered
appetizers (everything from Calamari to Escargot), lobster, prime
rib, champagne, the works! Finally he asked her, "Does your mother
feed you like this at home?" "No," she answered, "but my mother
isn't expecting me to suck her cock."
I think our doctor is an HMO but my husband thinks he's straight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DISH Network, plans from only $24.99/mo + HD for life
w/agreement
1. FREE Upgrade to HD DVR (Record/playback 200 hours, only $5.98/mo)
2. FREE 3 Months HBO & Showtime w/18 + Premium Channels
(w/commitment)
3. FREE Dish Remote Access (manage you DVR... anytime, anywhere)
4. FREE Six Room Pro Standard Installation (in as little as 24
hours)
5. FREE activation (up to a $99.00 value)
NFL REDZONE:
What is NFL Zone? Sunday afternoons during the season, NFL RedZone
takes
fans from game to game to see all the key moments - as they happen -
in HD.
NFL RedZone is the must-have channel for every football fan and the
perfect
network for fantasy football.
Only $7.00/mo
DISH Network and DISH Network logos are registered trademarks and/or
service
marks of DISH Network L.L.C. The DISH Network trademark and/or
service marks
are used by the authority of DISH Network L.L.C. and/or its
applicable
affiliate(s).
http://buffaloschips.com/dshtv
First-time DISH Network customers only. This promotion expires and
is
subject to change after Jan 31st, 2011.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Face of Beauty
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/F_S/F_B.html
Sands of Time
http://www.carolspoetry.com/sandsoftime.html
Invisible Child
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/poems/invisiblechild.html
Rolling Memorial
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/trucking.html
USS New York LPD-21 Tribute
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ussny.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
impressive income opportunity to grab during the worst economy we've
seen in over 50 years.
And here's everything they don't want you to know...
http://buffaloschips.com/scoop
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
Buffalo's Cousin
http://www.billionwatts.com/
Solar Racing Team Via Wesley
http://www.sunswift.com/
Makestuff.com - how to make your own microwavable heating pads
http://www.make-stuff.com/formulas/heating_pad.html
Top Ten Misspelled Words
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/misspelling
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
Press here to get your copy:
http://buffaloschips.com/kit
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Free Open - Source Survey Software Via Wesley
http://tinyurl.com/2pu7kz
TV Commercial Wav's
http://www.fortunecity.com/skyscraper/wired/699/ads.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.
PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
http://buffaloschips.com/date
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Cat Montage Via Dianne
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lh-MvHxIcNg
Extreme Poodle Makeover
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poodlemakeover.html
Oregon Aquarium
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/oregon.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
We understand that you may have accidentally deleted important
documents, pictures, or other various files from your computer that
you thought you could never get back.
Well, we wanted to let you know that you can easily get your deleted
pictures, documents, or files back today using a program called File
R/D.
You can easily try File R/D right now, for no cost, to run a -free-
analysis scan that will allow you to view deleted pictures, files,
documents, etc... Once you have complete the -free- analysis scan
you will be amazed by what you see! In fact, you will even see what
other people have deleted from your computer.
Once the scanning is complete you will have full control over which
files you want to recover.
Press here to run the -free- analysis scan:
http://buffaloschips.com/restore
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Links
Depression Medication
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kjgf.htm
Hand Up
http://www.buffaloschips.com/adfre.htm
Disappointment
http://www.buffaloschips.com/aghytg.htm
Don't look away when I'm talking to you
http://www.buffaloschips.com/adffg.htm
Don't Work From home
http://www.buffaloschips.com/akuji.htm
Egg Trick
http://www.buffaloschips.com/drere.htm
Einstein
http://www.buffaloschips.com/fdfgg.htm
El Rey Del Martillo
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hgtg.htm
En weg zijn re rimpels
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jhjkl.htm
Engineers
http://www.buffaloschips.com/okik.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Crying Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man had just returned from a weeklong seminar. His boss, instead
of asking about the details, asked if were sick as he looked
absolutely terrible.
"Well..." said the man, "I met this blonde and turned out she was
taking the same training I was and wanted me to tutor her. One
thing lead to another and we ended up back in her room having wild
gorilla sex all night."
"OK," replied the boss, "that may explain your fatigue, but why are
your eyes so red?"
"Well..." said the man, "turns out she was married and had a baby at
home.
She started crying with remorse, and I started thinking about my own
wife and kids, so I cried too."
"I see." chided the boss, "but that seminar ended Friday. How come
you still appear so ragged?"
"Well..." said the man, "you can't sit there and cry 4-5 times a day
for four days and not look like this."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
24 Hr Bra
http://www.buffaloschips.com/aef.htm
36 Long
http://www.buffaloschips.com/auygo.htm
50 Cal
http://www.buffaloschips.com/a3r4g.htm
69 For Dummies
http://www.buffaloschips.com/a980uj.htm
69th
http://www.buffaloschips.com/a34rr.htm
Escape
http://www.buffaloschips.com/a823.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a woman from Buffalo
who challenged a fellow to show
that he could pee
higher than she
How could the stout fellow say no?
So they went on out back of the pub
She put her puss on the wall and said "Bub,
I'm goin' first
I'm about to burst"
then proceeded to let go a flood.
She managed about three feet high
So the bub whipped open his fly
grabbed hold of his thing
but the "lady" did sing
"The rules are no hands by the by!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Background Check Them-You have the Right to Know the Truth!
As the news continues to reminds us, it's pretty easy to pretend to
be someone your not in this day and age. For the first time ever,
you can find out real and truthful information about people through
America's #1 Background Check. So next time you just aren't 100%
certain of the truth, protect yourself with an instant Background
Check.
Our Comprehensive Background Reports will show:
-Criminal Records
-Current and Previous Addresses
-Age and Date of Birth
-Relatives
-Property Value
-Social Network Scans
-So Much More
For a 7-Day Free Trial of Unlimited Background Checks
http://buffaloschips.com/backgr
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I ran into an old buddy the other day. He was a
rising entrepreneur, but now he looked down and
out. What gives? He begins wailing his tale. "I
had a restaurant out there on the interstate, you
know. Spent a fortune on a new high-rise sign to
attract traffic. It did, too. It read 'free
cocktail with dinner!' The 'cocktail' was
flashing red neon. Was it impressive!" "Sounds
like a good idea. So what went wrong?" "Oh, the
county took notice, inspection crews come out,
I'm harassed all the time by the Planning
Department, the churches in the neighborhood have
filed complaints..." "Hey, I thought you ran a
stand-up operation out there." "I did. Half my
flashing red neon burned out!" "Oh, I see..." I
thought a minute. "Which half?"
"Don't make no difference!" he wailed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Air Climber - Make Exercise Fun Again
Only Air Climber has air power technology to help you work out. Get
cardio, weight loss and tighter abs while you step on air. It's the
fun workout that uses air to eliminate impact, while still burning
the fat.
Lose 10 lbs or 10 inchs in 10 days guaranteed.
http://buffaloschips.com/aircl
View Web Version
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn Vol 1963
Time to Visit
BJ: Katie let's visit.
Katie: Ok father, what is on your mind?
BJ: Have you got your dog house set up, your lab?
Katie: Yes, finally. It took a while for me to get my 80"
plasma TV to work properly but all is well.
BJ: I notice you have been sleeping until 8 am sometimes whereas
usually you are up at 6 am.
Katie: Do you know how much work there is getting my lab in order
and my house? After all, I have five bedrooms, the basement, the
various living rooms, the studies, the libraries, and they all have
to be redone with the move. It is a mess and I have to do most of
the work.
At the end of the day, I am exhausted.
BJ: Oh, okay, I was just checking to make certain you are okay.
Katie: I am fine. I even thought about hiring a maid for a short
time.
The herd
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
----------------------------------------------------------
No virus found in this incoming message.
Checked by AVG - www.avg.com
Version: 9.0.869 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/3249 - Release Date:
11/10/10 14:34:00
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
No comments:
Post a Comment