Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
It was described as bitterly cold last night, and I guess 20 below
qualifies
for that description unless you are in Antarctica or International
Falls Minn.
Frankly I didn't notice it as I stayed inside and made Buffy go out
to the
Suburban and get the toilet paper I forgot to bring in the other
night. I knew
somebody would if they didn't want to use Brawny paper towels heh
heh.
I can find humor in about anything, and Facebook has its fair share
of goofs
and strange games to joke about. Eva started to play a game called
Puzzled
Hearts where you ask friends for hearts and fill up cards and then
trade the
cards for pieces in a puzzle. I get to go out and find hearts and
ask friends to
send me ones that she is missing and then she fills in the cards and
tries to
solve the jigsaw puzzles. For animal lovers there is one set of Dog
hearts which
are hearts with various dog picture in them and Eva needed a Beagle
Heart to
solve the puzzle. I asked and Molly sent a post that said Molly has
sent you
a Beagle Heart. Being the buffalo that I am I sent her back a heart
and asked her
if she had a recipe for Beagle Heart as the last one I had prepared
was tough.
I see they don't have any cat hearts tough because cats are
heartless. I
think the only reason I have two that sleep with me is because I am
warmer
than the women in the house.
We are supposed to get up to 2 deg. F. at 1700 and I have plans on
making a store
run at that time so I will see you tomorrow.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
A Newsletter you may enjoy
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Driving Chips
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There was this woman sitting on a park bench muttering to herself
and spitting. She would mutter, then spit, mutter, then spit, she
would say, "Damn, that sonofabitch can drive", then spit, "Damn,
that sonofabitch can drive", then spit, "Damn that sonofabitch can
drive", then spit.
A man sits down next to her and asks her, "What's going on here?
You keep saying, "Damn that sonofabitch can drive, then you spit".
"Well", says the gal, "my boyfriend just got a brand new sports car,
so he calls me and asks me if I want to go for a ride. So I say
sure, why not?"
"He picks me up and we drive up to the mountains. After we have
lunch, we start back down the mountain and his brakes go out!! He's
pumping the pedal, and nothing!! So now we're picking up speed and
the road is all twisty and curvey.
"We're going faster and faster and it's hard to stay on the road.
I've got my fingers embedded in the dashboard, and I'm pleading with
him to do something!!
"We're going about 90 mph now, with a sheer cliff on our right, a
500 foot drop on the other side, an 18 wheeler right on our ass, and
an overturned motorhome right in front of us. Well, I figure this
is it!
I just knew we were gonna die! So I turn to him and said...
"Geoff, if you can get us outta this, I'll give you the best damn
blow job you've ever had!"
She paused. Then spit. "DAMN, THAT SON OF A BITCH CAN **DRIVE**!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Chat Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
JHawk111420 [12:11 AM]: Hey whats up, a/s/l?
Lady Renegade [12:12 AM]: more than you want, I'm sure :)
JHawk111420 [12:12 AM]: ill take that as a challenge ;-)
Lady Renegade [12:12 AM]: take it any way you want sweetie
JHawk111420 [12:13 AM]: k, how old areya?
Lady Renegade [12:13 AM]: probably too old for you, but let's
pretend I'm 20 ;)
JHawk111420 [12:13 AM]: k, what do ya look like?
Lady Renegade [12:14 AM]: before or after I'm dressed up?
JHawk111420 [12:14 AM]: both :-D
Lady Renegade [12:15 AM]: well......after I'm dressed
up, I have long sexy red hair, nails painted red to match the slinky
dress I have on, stiletto heels, pouty lips, green eyes, boobs out
to here, and a smile that stops traffic
JHawk111420 [12:14 AM]: and before?
Lady Renegade [12:15 AM]: before I'm dressed up, I'm bald and
wearing boxers...sometimes my weenie is peeking out
Lady Renegade [12:16 AM]: hello?
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Valentines Day Chips
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Here's a list of what NOT to give her for Valentines Day:
~ A box of chocolates, clumsily rearranged in an
attempt to hide the fact you ate all the caramel ones.
~ Any food item with the words "diet", "light",
or "high fiber" on the label.
~ Flowers from a hospital's gift shop--or worse,
a mortuary's.
~ Poetry, no matter how heartfelt, that starts out
"There was once a girl from Nantucket..."
~ Anything you ever gave another woman, including
your mother.
~ Any clothing item with the words "push-up"
or "slim-down" on the label.
~ Any household appliance, power tool or other
item from the harder side of Sears.
~ A gift certificate.
~ Cash.
~ Lingerie that you think will look almost as
good on her as on the Victoria's Secret model.
~ Anything you could have bought at the gas
station mini-mart on the way over, even if you didn't.
~ An apologetic look and the words "That was today?"
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I'll bet you have to think twice before you leave your wife alone
at
night." one man said to the other. "I'll say." replied the
second, "First, I have to think up a reason for going out. Second, I
have to think up why she can't go with me."
~~~~~
Delta Airlines recently introduced a special half-fare rate for
wives
accompanying their husbands on business trips. Anticipating some
valuable testimonials, the publicity department of the airline sent
out letters to all the wives of businessmen who used the special
rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip. Responses are still
pouring in asking, "What trip?"
~~~~~
A guy came home from work, "Honey, where are you?"
"I'm upstairs douching," his wife answered.
"I told you never to talk like that!" he yelled.
"What do you want," she called out, "good grammar or good taste?"
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Random Chips
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ABC Sex: Sex only on Anniversaries, Birthdays and Christmas
The young novice nun soon realized that the absence of sex in the
convent was a problem. She confessed to Mother Superior that it was
unhealthy and she was restless. "Comfort yourself with a candle,"
she was advised. "I've tried that," she said, "But you get tired of
the same thing wick in and wick out."
At a news conference, a journalist said to the politician running
for mayor, "Your former secretary said publicly that you have a
small penis. Would you please comment on this?" "The truth really
is," replied the politician, "That she has a big mouth."
A couple were indulged in sexual intercourse and the man noticed
that with each movement of his pelvis, his partner's toes would
rise. Later that night, while going at it pretty hot and heavy in
the shower, her toes remained still. Confused, he asked, "Why is it
that when we do it in bed, your toes go up, but when we do it in the
shower, they don't?" "Silly," she replied, "I take my pantyhose off
in the shower!"
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LynnLynn's Links
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/New Gospel Music
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Brother Bob's Poems Of The Week:
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John w/ The Twelfth Of Never
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From Kathryn/Beautiful Thoughts
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WWI Human Art!
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Common and bad Passwords
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Netiquette Guidelines
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Hammer Guy
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Happy Penguin
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Did you hear about the long delays on a golf course outside
Washington, DC? Seems like there was a foursome playing that was
taking forever to get around the course. The group consisted of
Monica Lewinski, OJ Simpson, Ted Kennedy, and Bill Clinton.
According
to observers, the problems they were having were attributable to
typical problems faced by the novice golfer; Monica is a hooker, OJ
is a slicer, Kennedy can't drive over water, and Clinton is never
sure which hole he's supposed to be playing.
~~~~~
Bob had just finished playing a round of golf and was in the locker
room getting undressed to take a shower when one of his friends
happened to notice him slipping out of a pair of women's
panties. "Hey, Bob," his friend called out across the locker
room. "How long have you been playing golf in women's
underwear?" "How long?" came the reply. "Ever since my wife found a
pair in the back seat of my car after I came home from supposedly
playing a round of golf!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Almost done
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Almost there
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Alone
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Men And Women
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New Medal
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American
http://www.buffaloschips.com/3ier.htm
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I met this fine lady on the Cape
Who had a wee bit to much grape
An' thought sex might just be fine
Til she took the measure of mine
An' was left with her mouth agape
The bishop of Winchester Junction
Found his phallus would no longer function.
So in black crepe he wound it,
Tied a lily around it,
And solemnly gave it last unction.
There was a young lady of Norway
Who hung by her heels in the doorway.
She said to her beau,
"Hey, look at me, Joe,
I think I've discovered one more way."
There was a young girl from Odessa,
A rather unblushing transgressor.
When sent to the priest
The lewd little beast
Began to undress her confessor.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tom is in deep thought and is very quiet. Jerry asks, "What is wrong
with you, Tom?"
Tom said, "Please don't ask."
So Jerry said, "I'm your best friend. You can talk to me."
Then Tom said, "My seven year old son made my secretary pregnant."
Shocked, Jerry exclaimed, "That's not possible."
"Yes, he did.", responded Tom.
"How?", asked Jerry.
"He punctured my condoms!", answered Tom.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn Vol 1969
Attack Mode
Katie is furiously moving about the lab. Bottles of experimental
'stuff' are bubbling over bunson burners. Katie has that wild-eyed
look as she dashes around in her white lab coat wearing goggles.
Rudy is wearing his hardhat: I wonder what she is inventing?
Sandi: Don't know, but I hope it is not food.
Val: Looks like it could be wild.
Katie: I have it! It is finished!
Rudy: What is it?
Katie: Behind the curtains is my new invention.
Val: What is it?
Katie opens the curtain and an oven appears.
Sandi: An oven?
Katie: Not just any oven, this oven will continously make pizzas.
You make one, press the continue button and it will replikate it and
make another and so on and so on.
Sandi: I will buy it.
To be continued The herd
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Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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