Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
The other night Eva was playing beside me on the Vista computer and
spilled a glass
of apple juice on the mouse. It was a 7.00 dollar mouse from Big
Lots and it didn't
like juice much and the right click button stopped working. I told
Eva since she had
violated the drinking at my desk rule, she was going to be without a
computer. When
she finally realized that she wasn't going to be able to play on the
computer she had a little
snit and started stomping her feet. I then threatened to beat her
butt if she didn't stop
and she stopped, saluted me, said, "Yes Sir " and did an about face
and went to her
room. My jaw was laying on the floor as I tried to figure out where
she had learned
that but awhile later she gave her mom a, " Yes sir Mom" and her
mom asked her
where it came from, and she told her Hannah Montana.
I replaced the mouse with another seven dollar one and then Eva
surprised me again.
She wanted Sprout on the computer and went to Google and typed in
spout. She
actually found the link she was looking for as it was a recent
search from when I had
did it the night before. She is also starting to relate numbers to
TV channels and can
find every channel with the remote she usually. It is great that
some of the pieces
are starting to fall into place for her with a minimum of teaching
and unlike Buffy
she might make it through High School.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
A newsletter you may enjoy
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Knight Chips
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During the days of King Arthur, the young men
were having to join the military and fight in the
crusades. One such young man had just gotten
married and was forced to leave before "knowing"
her. She was still wearing the chastity belt and
he had the only key. He was so concerned about
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Winter Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
December 8 - 6:00 PM
It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I
took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge
soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses
Print. So romantic, we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!
December 9
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every
inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more
lovely place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've
ever had! Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy
again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon
the snow plow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in
the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life!
December 12
The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment! My
neighbor tells me not to worry - we'll definitely have a white
Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll
have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see
snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man,
I'm glad he's our neighbor.
December 14
Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night. The temperature dropped
to - 20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my
breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and
sidewalks. This is the life! The snow plow came back this
afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would
have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in
shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.
December 15
20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought
snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the
freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes
out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.
December 16
Ice storm this morning. Fell on my rear end on the ice in the
driveway putting down salt. Hurt like heck. The wife laughed for
an hour, which I think was very cruel.
December 17
Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere.
Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to
stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to
irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't
admit it to her. I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm
freezing to death in my own living room.
December 20
Electricity's back on, but had another 14 inches of the darn stuff
last night. More shoveling! Took all day. The darn snow plow came
by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said
they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the
only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and
they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're
lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and
bill me. I think he's lying.
December 22
Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the
white crap fell today, and it's so cold, it probably won't melt till
August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to
shovel and then I had to use the bathroom. By the time I got
undressed, use the bathroom and dressed again, I was too tired to
shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest
of the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think the idiot is
lying.
December 23
Only 2 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife
wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is
she, nuts?!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She
says she did, but I think she's lying.
December 24
6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snow plow, I broke the shovel.
Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a
gun who drives that snow plow, I'll drag him through the snow by his
rear and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides
around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he
comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all
over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing
Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy
watching for the darned snow plow.
December 25
Merry Bah-humbug Christmas! 20 more inches of the darn stuff
tonight - Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil.
Ohh, I hate the snow! Then the snow plow driver came by asking for
a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife
says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a idiot. If I have to
watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her
into the microwave.
December 26
Still snowed in. Why the heck did I ever move here? It was all HER
idea. She's really getting on my nerves.
December 27
Temperature dropped to - 30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after
14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace
all my pipes.
December 28
Warmed up to above - 20. Still snowed in. That WITCH is driving me
crazy!!!
December 29
10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave
in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think
I am?
December 30
Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver, and now he is suing
me for a million dollars, not only the beating I gave him, but also
for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his rear. The wife
went home to her mother. Nine more inches predicted.
December 31
I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.
January 8
Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving
me. Why am I tied to the bed?
Ross
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Truck Chips
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I stopped by the Chevrolet Dealership yesterday, for a look at the
new Silverado 1500 pickup.
Just for fun, I took it out for a test drive. I wanted to sense
that new "feel" before they become extinct...
The salesman (a black man wearing an Obama "change" lapel pin) sat
in the passenger seat describing the truck and all its "wonderful"
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The seats were of particular interest.
He explained that the seats directed warm air to your butt in the
winter and
directed cool air to your butt in the summer heat.
Feeling like messing with him, I mentioned that this must be a
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.
Looking a bit angry, he asked why I thought it was a Republican
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I explained that if it were a Democrat truck, the seats would blow
smoke up your ass year- round.
I had to walk back to the dealership.... Damn guy had no sense of
humor.
Randy
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Football Chips
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10 SIGNS YOU WATCH TOO MUCH FOOTBALL
10. Before sex, you flip a coin to see who will receive.
9. You've been banned from the A&P for spiking melons.
8. To feel closer to some of your favorite players, you tear the
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7. The kids bring home a good report card and you dump Gatorade on
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6. Most humans: 75% water, you: 75% chip dip.
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Random Chips
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A young women visited her eye doctor complaining of failing
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you read the bottom line?" Girl: "No." "Can you read the center
line?"
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This Jewish rock star went to his tailor and asked for a new pair of
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LynnLynn's Links
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1426
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Mrs Hughes
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Friends
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Football Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FOOTBALL MOVES IN SEX
Hike = Up the rear
Reverse = 69
Sack = Girl takes control and gets frisky
2pt. conversion = multiple orgasms
Prevent Defense = Condom/protection
Face Mask = guy pulls girl head down to blow him
Shotgun = Touchdown in a car
Two minute warning = Guy gives the girl a warning before he blows
his load.
Holding = Cuddling
Superbowl = Wedding or Prom night
Huddle = Multiple participants
Madden '99 = Cyber sex
Instant replay = When you tape the two of you having sex Illegal
Use of the hands = Masturbation
Ball Hog = Slut
Onside Kick = Making up after a fight
Double Header = Two mates in the same night
Tight End = Virgin
Wide Receiver = Girl that's loose
False Start = Guy/Girl gets shut down (denied)
Pass Interference = Some stupid kid interrupts before you can get
some
Fumble = cheating (problem in the relationship)
Putting it through the uprights = self explanatory
Special Teams = Prostitute/Gigolo
Unsportsmanlike Conduct = Bragging to your friends about your
activities
Double Coverage = Two condoms
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
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ass scratch
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
NEWSWIRE--A college student is auctioning her virginity; bids exceed
3.7 milllion dollars.
This gal ain't what some would call "nice"
When sex is for sale, that's called "vice"
Career path she's chosen
You know, I'm supposing
So now we're just arguing price
This whore, to be very precise
Is naught but a young Heidi Fleiss
She may find deflowering
To be quite empowering
She can't, I will bet, do it twice
(Gary Hallock)
Stan Kegel
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Parting Chips
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A 47 year old gay man was arrested at San Francisco International
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Percy Cummings, an interior designer from San Francisco , is being
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while the TSA agent's hand was feeling the piercings. The TSA
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according to several witnesses, promptly called for back up.
Cummings
was thrown to the ground and handcuffed.
A TSA spokesperson declined to comment on this specifc case, but
said that anyone ejaculating during a pat-down would be subject to
arrest.
Amy
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn Vol 1966
Edufication Rex
Katie inserts two double D cell batteries in number 1313 Robo-Kate,
hits the start button and ...
Lights flash and a whiring occurs and the Robot starts to move.
Katie speaks into a mike: Take the shovel outside and clean the
sidewalk first.
Everyone follows the robot outside and watches as the robot shovels
the sidewalk clean. When the sidewalk is clean, the robot continues
to clear the sidewalk, the neighbors. Soon the neighbor's neighbors
walk is cleared and so on and so on.
Rudy: Ah Katie. Katie: Yes.
Rudy: How do we turn it off?
Katie: Dunno. It had an on switch but no off switch.
Rudy: Ah Katie.
Katie: Yes, Rudy.
Rudy: That wasn't very smart.
Katie: I didn't build this one Rudy. It was my evil twin robot.
Rudy: Okay, so what do we do?
BJ: Get your bagpipes Rudy.
A few minutes later Rudy has his pipes.
BJ: Play your heart out Rudy!
Soon the squal of the pipes is wrecking through the neighborhood and
the robot starts to shake and vibrate. Then it explodes.
BJ: Pick up the pieces and into the trash.
Katie: Me to?
BJ: Especially you.
The herd
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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