Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Last night was the TOPS Christmas Dinner. After we had adjourned our
meeting we settled down for a meal of the anticipated casseroles and
salads
and light desserts to which I had added my usual batch of baked
beans and this
year a spiral sliced honey baked ham both of went over real well.
Face it, if you
want great tasting food, look for the Hefty chefs. If you can't cook
well enough
to overeat your way to obesity, chances are no one else will like
your food
I was pleased to find out at weigh-in that I had lost three pounds
over the
holidays which puts me at my lowest weight in 4 years. I still feel
like someone
dumped a package of grain in the buffalo's feed but if I live to be
80 they
won't need a forklift to carry my coffin.
Still no word on when the website will be back up but I am sure you
don't mind
a few less ads while we wait. Martin the Postman is supplying
cartoons and
movies to the adult jokes right now so if you don't recognize the
URL it is
a safe site and I monitor and moderate each and every item that is
sent out.
I looked over awhile ago and Eva was smacking Yoda with a pink
cowgirl
hat. I told her, Don't beat that cat with a hat, It don't like that.
I bet Dr. Seuss
wouldn't write that one if he was still alive heh heh.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
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Bike Chips
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At a press conference late Monday, the CEO of Johnson Marine, makers
of Johnson outboard marine engines and other recreational equipment,
unveiled a new line of heavyweight cruiser style motorcycles
designed to compete head to head with industry leader
Harley-Davidson. Peter Long, Johnson brands marketing manager said,
"We have studied the market and determined that Harley, while highly
successful, has narrowly missed the mark when targeting motorcycle
buyers". Long added, "We at Johnson are convinced that our product
hits the target dead center and promises to draw sales away from
Harley-Davidson in a way no other motorcycle has been able to
accomplish".
The new line of bikes, marketed under the name Big Johnson
Motorcycles, will, according to Long, deliver what Harley has only
promised. "Our research show that this, a Big Johnson, is what
Harley buyers are really after". At the unveiling of the new line
Monday, several current Harley owners agreed. "When I bought my
Harley, what I really needed was a Big Johnson," said one Harley
owner." But I see now that riding a Harley is no replacement for
having a Big Johnson."
Manager Long also said that his company would follow the lead of
Harley-Davidson and cash in on a huge market for non-motorcycle
related products. "We realize that not every guy can have a Big
Johnson," said Long, "But image is very important to people. If
they don't have a Big Johnson, they at least want to project the
image of having one."
Asked if he anticipated Big Johnsons showing up in the hands of
Harley owners, Long said it was unlikely. "I just don't see the
need to have a Harley if you have a Big Johnson," he said. "And I
can't imagine someone who spends all their resources to acquire a
Harley having a Big Johnson. I think it boils down to this - You
either have a Harley, or you have a Big Johnson, but you are not
likely to have both." "Given the choice," said Long, "I think most
guys will opt for the Big Johnson."
Another force driving sales for the company will come from women. A
survey of the wives and girlfriends of nearly 1,000 potential
motorcycle buyers indicates less than 5% would approve of their
partner spending $15,000 - $21,000 on a Harley Davidson. But, when
asked if they would be willing to pay the same amount of money to
get their partner a Big Johnson, nearly 4 out 5 thought that would
be money well spent.
One female present at the product unveiling was quoted as saying,
"There is no way I will let Lonnie drop 15 grand on another one of
those Harleys, but 15 grand to get him a Big Johnson? Well, that's
something we could both enjoy, and it's something he really needs."
Carla Roundheel, manager of the dealership network now being
established, said her motto is simple. "I service what we sell."
Big Johnson Motorcycles will be traded on the New York stock
exchange under the abbreviation PNSNV.
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
as time passes
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The TSA is on the job
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holding things up
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what he is reading
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pivoting
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z015.html
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Hole Chips
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A man is walking down the street, when he sees a machine with two
holes and with a sign overhead that reads: 'Blow Job'. The machine
has two slots, one for one dollar and one for a quarter.
He looks in his pockets and finds a dollar and a quarter. He throws
the dollar in the machine and sticks his penis into the first hole.
And, surprisingly, it feels good... it feels very good... And just
when he's about to come, the machine stops.
So he puts his dick in the other hole and puts the quarter in. And
it hurts, it hurts. At first he is not even able to take his dick
out,
but when he does, it's raw and covered with blood. He's crying
because of the pain.
An old lady comes from behind the machine and stops to ask what's
the matter. He tells her about the first hole and how *wonderful* it
felt. Then he describes the hell of the second hole, and shows her
his red and torn penis.
And the little old biddy smiles sweetly and says,
"You don't expect me to take out my false teeth for a quarter, do
you?"
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Hell Chips
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Mac died at the controls of his plane and went
to pilots' hell, where he found a hideous devil
and three doors.
The devil was busy escorting other pilots to
various "hell rooms."
"I'll be right back--don't go away," said the
devil, and he vanished.
Sneaking over to the first door, Mac peeked in
and saw a cockpit where the pilot was condemned
to forever run through pre-flight checks.
He slammed that door and peeked into the second.
There, alarms rang and red lights flashed while
a pilot had to avoid one emergency after another.
Unable to imagine a worse fate, Mac cautiously
opened the third door.
He was amazed to see many beautiful, scantily
clad flight attendants answering to a captain's
every whim. He quickly returned to his place
seconds before the devil reappeared.
"Okay, Mac," said the devil, "Which door will
it be, number 1 or number 2?"
"Um, I want door number 3," answered Mac.
"Sorry," said the devil. "You can't have door
number 3. That's flight attendants' hell."
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Random Chips
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A cook got his hand caught in a dishwasher - and they were both
fired.
Many are those who sow their wild oats Saturday night, then on
Sunday morning go to pray for crop failure.
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse were in divorce court and the judge
said to Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy." Mickey
replied, "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's fucking Goofy."
"Doctor, that rectal exam hurt like hell. What did you do?" asked
John. "I used two fingers." Said the doctor. "What for?" asked
John.
"I needed a second opinion."
Two women were having coffee, when one said, "I used to call my ex
'Superman' when we were in bed." The second commented, "How
flattering!" to which the first replied, "Not really! I meant that
he was faster than a speeding bullet."
Did you hear about he new athletic shoe for lesbians? They are
called "Dikees" They come with an extra long tongue and you can get
them off with one finger!
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Short Chips
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My girlfriend and I were making love last night when she looked up
at me and said, "Make love to me like in the movies." So I turned
her over on all fours, stuck it in her ass, pulled out, flipped her
back over, and came all over her face and hair. I guess we don't
watch the same movies.
A couple had been divorced for about 6 months, but still remained
good friends. This worked out pretty good since they both lived in
the same apartment building. One day he slipped on the ice and
broke his arm. Later he met his ex-wife in the elevator and she
asked if there was anything she could do to help. He responded,
"Well yes, if it's not to much trouble, could you help me take a
bath?" She readily agreed and soon after she began washing him she
saw a gradual erection begin to appear. "Look John", she exclaimed
happily "It still recognizes me!!!"
.
An attractive young med student was having coffee with her
girlfriend and complaining about her fiancee's extraordinary sexual
appetite. "I barely have the strength to come to work in the
morning," she murmured. "And now that he's on his vacation, things
will probably be even more intense when he gets back." "How long is
he off?" the assistant inquired. "It varies," she replied. "But
usually it's just long enough to smoke a cigarette."
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LynnLynn's Links
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Country Music
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carolyn w/ There's Always Me~Elvis
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Wave Frozen In Time!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wave.html
Desert Skiing!
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Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
impressive income opportunity to grab during the worst economy we've
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And here's everything they don't want you to know...
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Surfin Surfari
Red Skelton's Commentary on the Pledge of Allegiance
http://kcbx.net/~tellswor/redskel1.htm
PropertyShark - Real Estate Maps, Foreclosures, Property Reports
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Wall Mural Art 3
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Email Marketing Features | MailChimp.com
http://www.mailchimp.com/features/
PSP6 Tips and Tricks
http://mardiweb.com/web/psp6/
Wireless Router Guide
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
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Kitty Korner
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Movie Links
Driving in America
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/689.html
Obummer! by Christina Houston
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/690.html
TSA - HELP YOU MAKE IT TO YOUR FLIGHT - Buck Howdy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/691.html
__________
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Doctor Chips
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A woman marched into the doctors office with a tiny miserable baby
that was howling at the top of its lungs and demanded," Do something
about this baby". After a quick examination, the doctor realized
the baby was malnourished. He's obviously not getting enough milk,"
he said sternly. "is he being breast fed? " "Yes," replied the
woman.
"Then the milk supply isn't adequate. Please take your blouse off."
The woman obliged, and the doctor proceeded to give her a very
thorough breast exam, kneading, rubbing, massaging, and sucking each
breast at some length. Finally, perplexed, he announced that he
could see why there was a problem. "You aren't producing any milk
at all." "Of course not," she responded." It's my sister's kid,"
"Why on earth did you come?" asked the doctor in amazement. "I
didn't,"
she replied, "until you started sucking on the other tit."
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Toon Chips
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Limerick Chips
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There was a young man from Wales
Who lived on snot, shit and snails.
When he couldn't get these,
He lived off the cheese
That he scraped from his dick with his nails.
There was a young man from Duluth
Whose dick was shot off in his youth.
So he fucked with his nose,
And his fingers and toes,
And came through a hole in his tooth.
Said the trader, "I'm not pleased one bit,
In our dealings, that you should submit
Your signed IOU
In lieu of a ewe
I just won't accept that sheep chit!"
Ross
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Parting Chips
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Woman: "I just had a baby and the Doctor told me to do those Kegel
exercises - you know to tighten up things down there." [giggle]
Nurse: "Yes, I understand. Are you in pain?"
Woman: "No, no, no. It's not that. It's just that every time I do
those exercises, I have an orgasm."
Nurse: "I'm sorry, did you say 'orgasm'?"
Woman: "Yes. Am I doing them right?"
Nurse: "Sounds like it to me!"
The Mrs. was watching a cooking show the other day.
I said, "What are you watching that for? You can't cook."
She said, "You watch porn."
Bitch.
Amy
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn Vol 1959
2011
?
BJ: So what are the new year's resolutions for everyone?
Rudy: I resolve to not go scuba diving this year.
BJ: Have you ever?
Rudy: No, but I want to keep that string going.
Diana: I resolve to lose twenty pounds.
BJ: I resolve to lose forty pounds.
Katie: I resolve to live another year.
BJ: That is a great goal Katherine.
Sandi: I resolve we heal as a family.
Diana: That is a huge goal and well said.
Val: I resolve to learn how to walk on a leash this year.
BJ: All good goals and may you each stick with them.
Rudy: Question pops?
BJ: Yes.
Rudy: So where does that forty pounds go?
The herd
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Adult Adult
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Remember 9/11/01
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711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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