[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner!



 

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!

 

Brain cells come and brain cells go,
but fat cells live forever.
_______________

 

 

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=======================


GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Invite Your Audience Carefully.
Not everyone is healthy enough
to have front row seats in our lives.
There are some people in your life
that need to be loved from a distance.
It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of,
or at least minimize, your time with draining, negative,
incompatible, not going anywhere relationships/friendships.
Observe the relationships around you...
PAY ATTENTION!!!
Which ones lift and which ones lean?
Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? 
Which ones are on a path of growth uphill
and which ones are going downhill?
When you leave certain people
do you feel better or worse?
Which ones always have drama
or don't really understand, know, or appreciate you?
The more you seek quality, respect, growth,
peace of mind, love, and truth around you,
the easier it will become for you to decide
who gets to sit in the front row and
who should be moved
to the balcony of your life.
You cannot change the people around you,
so change the people you're around!

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

_______________

THE COMICS

computer expo
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p001.html

dear diary
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p002.html

new diet
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p003.html

Mr. Simms
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p004.html

all right
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p005.html

toilet paper
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p006.html

call the agency
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p007.html

at the lepper colony
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p008.html

cheap shot
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p009.html
________________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

John Madden popcorn
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9193.html

Dennis Swanberg - Bengy and the Zipper
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9194.html

Tango
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9195.html

degas
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9196.html

eggs
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9197.html

a close call
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9198.html


A biker is riding a new motorcycle on the highway.
While passing a car, he knocks on the window. The
driver of the car opens the window, "Yes?"
"Ever driven a Honda motorcycle?"
"No I haven't"
The biker drives on, until he sees the next car.
While passing it, he knocks on the window. The driver
of the car opens the window: "Yes?"
"Ever driven a Honda motorcycle?"
"No I haven't"
Then suddenly there is a curve, the biker sees it too
late. He crashes off the road into a ditch. A car stops
and a man runs to the unlucky biker. The biker, while in
severe pain, asks, "Ever driven a Honda motorcycle?"
"Yes I have. I had a Honda for 20 years."
The biker says, "Tell me, where are the brakes?"
____________

A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs
it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting
undressed, she playfully says "Mirror, mirror, on my
door, make my bust-line forty four". Instantly, there
is a brilliant flash of light, and her boobs grow to
enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her
husband what has happened, and in minutes they both
return. This time the husband crosses his fingers and
says: "Mirror mirror on the door, make my "manhood" touch
the floor!". Again, there's a bright flash and both his
legs fall off.
______________

Have you ever wondered where the Phrase
"You Gotta Be Shittin' Me" came from? Well, it just so
happens to have originated through the Father of
Our Country way back when, George Washington was crossing
the Delaware River with his troops.There were 33
[remember this number] in Washington's boat. It
was extremely dark and storming furiously and the water
was tossing them about.Finally, Washington grabbed
Corporal Peters [remember this name] and stationed him
at the front of the boat with a lantern. He ordered him
to keep swinging it, so they could see where they were
heading.Corporal Peters, through driving rain and cold,
continued swinging the lantern back and forth, back and forth.
Then a big gust of wind and a wave hit and threw Corporal
Peters and his lantern into the Delaware. Washington and his
troops searched for nearly an hour trying to find Corporal
Peters, but to no avail. All of them felt terrible, for the
Corporal had been one of their favorites. Sometime later,
Washington and his troops landed on the other side, wet and
totally exhausted. He rallied the troops and told them that
they must go on.Another hour later, one of his men said,
"General, I see lights ahead."They trudged toward the lights
and came upon a huge house. What they didn't know, was that
this was a house of ill repute hidden in the forest to serve
all who came.General Washington pounded on the door, his men crowding
around him. The door swung open, and much to his surprise
stood a beautiful woman. A huge smile came across her face,
to see so many men standing there.
Washington was the first to speak, "Madam, I am General
George Washington and these are my men. We are tired, wet,
exhausted, and desperately need warmth and comfort."
Again, the Madam looked at all the men standing there, and with
a broad smile on her face, said, "Well, General, you have come
to the right place. We can surely give you warmth and comfort.
How many men do you have?"
Washington replied, "Well, madam, there are 32 of us without
Peters."And the Madam said, "You gotta be shittin' me"
_____________

Seven Reasons Why Airplanes Are Easier To Live With Than Women:

1. Airplanes usually kill you quickly - a woman takes her time.
2. Airplanes come with manuals to explain their operation.
3. Airplanes have strict weight and balance limitations.
4. Airplanes don't come with in-laws.
5. Airplanes don't mind if you look at other airplanes.
6. Airplanes don't whine unless something is really wrong.
7. However, when airplanes go quiet, just like women,
it's usually not good.
_____________

A pipe burst in a doctor's house, and he called a plumber.
The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious
plumber-type things for a while, and handed the doctor a
bill for $600. The doctor exclaimed, "This is ridiculous!
Even I don't make that much as a doctor!" The plumber waited
for him to finish and quietly said, "Neither did I when I was
a doctor."
________________

Sheila and George were spending the first night of their
honeymoon in a quaint medieval town in France. To add
piquancy to the evening, Sheila suggested coyly that
they make love every time the old night watchman rang
his hourly bell.
George smiled in delight at this prospect, but four
rings later he pretended that he had to go out to get
some cigarettes and staggered off to the watchman's tower.
"Listen, old man," he wheezed to that worthy, "do me a
favor, will you? For the rest of the night, ring that
bell of yours at two-hour intervals instead of hourly!"
"Ah," replied the ancient watchman, fingering his
mustache, "I would be happy to oblige, monsieur, but I
cannot do this."
"Why not?" George demanded. "I'll give you money, if
that's what's troubling you!"
"Not at all," the old man responded. "You see, a
beautiful young lady has already bribed me to ring the
bell every half hour."
__________

FUN PAGES

Top 35 Craziest Text Messages
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41131&s=n

Mario Star Catcher
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41598&s=n

Do Beer, Not Drugs
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=38550&s=n

Eeny Meany Bikini Whoa
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=40948&s=n
______________

BUFFALO BILL

Dirty Sneakers
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jdj.htm

Dodge Viper VS Tzero Electric Car
http://www.buffaloschips.com/89uy.htm

Dog In Trance
http://www.buffaloschips.com/t43e.htm
_____________

SYDESJOKES LISTS

Bailout #1
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/toon1/000427.html

Bailout #2
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/toon1/000428.html

Bailout #3
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/toon1/000429.html

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman


 



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[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For 2-28

 



Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

The other night the handle broke on the toilet. No big problem but
so
no one would have to dive for the chain, I tied a piece of lamp cord
to it and hung it above the toilet with the lid off. Good fix until
I get
another handle, right? Wrong! Someone lifted the cover too hard
and cracked a chunk from the top of the tank. I hate toilets. The
combination of china and buffalo is always a disaster and now I have

a tank to replace.

My worst toilet experience was to have one of the hinges break on
a toilet seat while I was sitting on it and it caught a chunk of my
beer
gut skin in between the seat and the toilet bowl. Although it was
not
the most painful thing I could have caught it was still hurt, a lot.
It's kind of a Catch 22 thing when you are stuck like that because
you can't pull your gut out till you get your butt off of the seat
and
you can't get your butt off of the seat with your gut stuck in it. I

discovered this as I was popping up and down anchored to the toilet
and finally broke free. Avoid that experience heh heh.


BEST POEM IN THE WORLD

I was shocked, confused, bewildered
As I entered Heaven's door,
Not by the beauty of it all,
Nor the lights or its decor.

But it was the folks in Heaven
Who made me sputter and gasp--
The thieves, the liars, the sinners,
The alcoholics and the trash.

There stood the kid from seventh grade
Who swiped my lunch money twice.
Next to him was my old neighbor
Who never said anything nice.

Herb, who I always thought
Was rotting away in hell,
Was sitting pretty on cloud nine,
Looking incredibly well.

I nudged Jesus, 'What's the deal?
I would love to hear Your take.
How'd all these sinners get up here?
God must've made a mistake.

'And why's everyone so quiet,
So somber - give me a clue.'
'Hush, child,' He said, 'they're all in
shock.
No one thought they'd be seeing you.'

Judge Not

Author Unknown

Enjoy the chips..... buffalo

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Boob Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Boobs!

The public is in titillated awe after hearing news of the advances
in
cloning technology. But the variety and multitude of applications of
this exciting new technology continue to grow unabated. Only a short
while ago, it was announced that the cloning process had been used
to
duplicate a sheep's liver, only one small part of a larger organism.
Scientists prognosticate that these types of applications will
likely
lead to the ability to clone human organs and body parts, as well.

Though at first blush the primary value of this type of cloning
appears to be the potential to offer replacements to people with
defective organs, I think you will agree with me that this
technology
can serve a much more noble purpose.

Specifically, the cloning of boobs!

Not only will there be no more need to negotiate with the biological
boob owner for use of the boob, there will also be no limit of two
boobs per negotiation. Cost permitting, one can own as many as one
wishes and fellow owners may wish to collect and trade their boobs.

In light of this valuable procedure, I have some suggestions for the
uses of these new test tube boobs.

Paperweight

Forget "koosh balls" and other malleable executive stress relieving
devices; nothing imparts healing power like a squeezed boob.

Christmas tree ornaments.

Throw pillows -- nothing spruces up your tired old apartment like a
few carefully placed boobs.

Centerpiece -- a nice boob arrangement in a bowl or basket
is suitable for those special dinner parties.
(Tip: Tanning a boob or two can produce a nice contrast of colors.)

Forget pacifiers.

In sufficient numbers, boobs can replace your waterbed mattress.

Chill your boobs and then apply topically to reduce swelling.

Heated boobs are a vast improvement on the water bottle concept.

Crack your friends up. For big laughs, use boobs as replacements for
croquet balls, badminton shuttlecocks or pool balls.

Place a boob, nipple side up, in your window. Makes a great
thermometer!

Bless scientists everywhere. Thanks for the mammaries!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

unlucky
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o067.html

unusual
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o068.html

busy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o069.html

How It All Started #1
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000741.html

How It All Started #2
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000742.html

How It All Started #3
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000743.html

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A guy walks into a pharmacy and asks for a bottle of Viagra.

The pharmacist says, "Do you have a prescription?"

The guy says, "No, but here's a picture of my wife."

~~~~

An Italian cab driver was telling a passenger that only real men
drive
taxis in Rome.

"We use our left hand for signals and our right hand to wave at
women,"
he proclaimed.

The tourist asked, "But how do you steer?"

"I just told you," the cabbie replied, "that only *real* men drive
taxis
in Rome."

~~~~~~

It was a slow afternoon at the pharmacy when
Anthony, the pharmacist, saw a young, buxom
blonde walk into the drugstore. The beautiful
blonde sashayed up to the counter and asked
Anthony, "Do you sell extra large condoms?"

The pharmacist replied, "Yes we do. Would you
like to buy some?"

The blonde responds, "No sir, but do you mind
if I wait around here until someone does?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Melt it Off with Mitch - As Seen On TV Weightloss

Mitch Gaylord won 4 Olympic medals and has been inducted into the
Olympic Hall of Fame. He became the first ever American gymnast to
score a perfect 10! From his knowledge of core training, he designed
the Melt It Off system.

With Mitch's 3 Day Melt It Off Kick Start, you can start on
Wednesday and be a size smaller for the weekend. Guaranteed! In
independent university testing, the average result was over 5 pounds
and 1 size in just 3 days!*

http://buffaloschips.com/mitch

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nudist Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Top 12 Nudist Pickup Lines
"Hey, is that a roll of quarters in... er, never mind. That's not a
pocket, is it? "

"Oh, look! Somebody must have dropped a $20 bill there on the ground
in front of you! "

"Hey, Tan Lines, new around here? "

"Ever seen a guy do no-handed pushups? "

"Excuse me, were those Bugle Boy jeans? "

"Nice melanoma! "

"My other penis is a Porsche. "

"Damn, you'd look great in a wet T-shirt. "

"Boy, I'd sure like to get into *YOUR* pants! Figuratively speaking,
of course... "

"Did you just wake up or are you glad to see me? "

"Did I mention that I'm President of the United States? "

and the Number 1 Nudist Pickup Line...
"I see where Joe Camel gets his good looks! "

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why spend large around of time and money on height exercises, human
growth hormones,
limb lengthening, gimmicky pills, elevator shoes and other special
footwear to
obtain extra height?

LiftKits height-increasing shoe insoles offer the perfect
alternative to clunky,
unattractive elevator shoes or uncomfortable heel lifts.

LiftKit Features:
- Adds over 1" to your overall height
- Made of High-Quality Neoprene Gel
- Cushioned for maximum comfort
- Easily trimmed to fit different shoe shapes
- Can be used in all standard footwear

LiftKit Benefits
- Helps decrease pressure on joints
- Helps relieve pressure on your spine
- Have better posture

http://buffaloschips.com/lifts

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Doctor Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What doctors say, and what they're really thinking:
"This should be taken care of right away."
"I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is so easy and
profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself."

"Welllllll, what have we here...?"
He has no idea and is hoping you'll give him a clue.

"Let me check your medical history."
" I want to see if you've paid your last bill before spending any
more time with you."

"Why don't we make another appointment later in the week."
"I'm playing golf this afternoon, and this a waste of time" - or -
"I need the bucks, so I'm charging you for another office visit."

"We have some good news and some bad news."
"The good news is, I'm going to buy that new BMW. The bad news is,
you're going to pay for it."

"Let's see how it develops."
"Maybe in a few days it will grow into something that can be cured."

"Let me schedule you for some tests."
"I have a forty percent interest in the lab."

"I'd like to have my associate look at you."
"He's going through a messy divorce and owes me a bundle."

"I'd like to prescribe a new drug."
"I'm writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea pig."

"If it doesn't clear up in a week, give me a call."
"I don't know what it is. Maybe it will go away by itself."

"That's quite a nasty looking wound."
"I think I'm going to throw up."

"This may smart a little."
"Last week two patients bit off their tongues."

"Well, we're not feeling so well today, are we...?"
"I'm stalling for time. Who are you and why are you here?"

"This should fix you up."
"The drug company slipped me some big bucks to prescribe this
stuff."

"Everything seems to be normal."
"Rats! I guess I can't buy that new beach condo after all."

"I'd like to run some more tests."
"I can't figure out what's wrong. Maybe the kid in the lab can solve
this one."

"Do you suppose all this stress could be affecting your nerves?"
"You're crazier'n an outhouse rat. Now, if I can only find a shrink
who'll split fees with me ..."

"There is a lot of that going around."
"My God, that's the third one this week. I'd better learn something
about this."

"If those symptoms persist, call for an appointment."
"I've never heard of anything so disgusting. Thank God I'm off next
week"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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receive 3 of our big early hybrid tomatoes - just pay S&H.

Supersize your tomatoes today.

Order Now

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Parking Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What Should Sex and Parking Spaces have in common:

You should never have to wait to find one.

You should be able to slide right into one.

Spaces in the front are always the best.

When there are no spaces in front, spaces in the rear are just fine.

It makes you jealous when you see someone else is double-parked.

Your space should still be open and waiting when you get back.

People are willing to wait in line for the good spaces.

Spaces with short time limits are annoying and never satisfying.

We're all looking for the free space with the "unlimited" time
limit.

A house isn't a home without a parking space.

Some people are uncomfortable with a space in the rear, just do it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Touch-n-Brush - Hands Free Toothpaste Dispenser

Touch-n-Brush uses revolutionary, vacuum force technology to cleanly
squeeze every available drop of toothpaste in the tube. Get the
perfect amount of toothpaste every time without the mess.

Eliminate messy, sticky bathroom sinks forever.

View Web Version

http://buffaloschips.com/touch

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Naked Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WALK NAKED IN AMERICA DAY

Don't forget to mark your calendars. As you may already know, it is
a sin for a Muslim male to see any woman other than his wife naked.
He must commit suicide if he does. So next Saturday at 4 PM Eastern
Time, all American women are asked to walk out of their house
completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists.
Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this
anti-terrorist effort.. All patriotic men are to position themselves
in lawn chairs in front of their house to prove they are not Muslims
and to demonstrate they think its okay to see nude women other than
their wife and to show support for all American women. Since Islam
also does not approve of alcohol, a cold 6-pack at your side is
further proof of your anti-Muslim sentiment. The American government
appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your
participation in this anti-terrorist activity.

God bless America !

It is your patriotic duty to pass this on. If you don't send this to
at least 5 people, you're a terrorist-sympathizing, lily-livered
coward and are in the position of posing as a national threat.

Rob in Fla

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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-Perfect for people who sit on the job
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-Patent-pending ergonomic design
-Works on any chair
-Lifetime Warranty!

Relieves Symptoms associated with
Neck, Shoulder & Back Pain,
Spinal Injury, Chronic Sciatica, and Pinched Nerves
Bulging & Slipped Discs and Muscle Soreness
Pregnancy too!

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*just pay $9.95 S/H

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friend

Melva/Tears of Innocence
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Misc_files/T_I.html

Carol w/ I Hugged A Stranger Today
http://www.carolspoetry.com/hugged.html

Marlene/If God Is Dead
http://summerhoosier.250free.com/HTML9/IfGodIsDead.html

I Believe...
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/believe.html

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Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.

Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
impressive income opportunity to grab during the worst economy we've
seen in over 50 years.

And here's everything they don't want you to know...

http://buffaloschips.com/scoop

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Surfin Surfari

Plate Tectonics, the Cause of Earthquakes Via Dianne
http://www.seismo.unr.edu/ftp/pub/louie/class/100/plate-tectonics.ht
ml

Boot Camp Memories
http://oldbluejacket.com/inthenavynow.htm

Donate Your Old Eyeglasses
http://www.neweyesfortheneedy.org/impact/impact.html

Glue Anything To Anything Via Wesley
http://www.thistothat.com/cgi-bin/glue.cgi

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.

Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:

As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.

Press here to get your copy:

http://buffaloschips.com/kit

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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

DriverFiles.net
http://www.driverfiles.net/

Typing Game and Tests
http://www.freetypinggame.net

Acronym Dictionary
http://www.netlingo.com

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!

Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.

PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:

http://buffaloschips.com/date

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Animal World

Doggie Zone
http://www.ourdogs.co.uk/

Kitty Korner
http://www.joe-ks.com/archives_jul2007/CatInTheAct.jpg

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

We understand that you may have accidentally deleted important
documents, pictures, or other various files from your computer that
you thought you could never get back.

Well, we wanted to let you know that you can easily get your deleted
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You can easily try File R/D right now, for no cost, to run a -free-
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Once the scanning is complete you will have full control over which
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Press here to run the -free- analysis scan:

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*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

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Movie Links

R2D2 Does It For The Boobs http://www.buffaloschips.com/893.htm

Reparations Dave Chappelle Show
http://www.buffaloschips.com/894.htm

Rocket Launcher
http://www.buffaloschips.com/895.htm

Romantic
http://www.buffaloschips.com/896.htm

Scratch Lottery Tickets
http://www.buffaloschips.com/897.htm

Batteries
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72223.htm

Bowl
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72224.htm

Darwin Awards Rejects
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72225.htm

Fastest Gun Ever
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72226.htm

Golf
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72227.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

English Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Men's English

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = Let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.

8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.

9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.

11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit - I'm gay

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Exit Only
http://www.buffaloschips.com/2280517.htm

Horny Pack
http://www.buffaloschips.com/2280518.htm

Feel Up
http://www.buffaloschips.com/02280519.htm

Fire Plan
http://www.buffaloschips.com/2280520.htm

You Can Do It The Hard Way or The Easy Way
http://www.buffaloschips.com/2280521.htm

What's Been Going On Here?
http://www.buffaloschips.com/2280522.htm

Kiss
http://www.buffaloschips.com/02280523.htm

Nice Tits
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30801.htm

Circumcised
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30802.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A notorious hooker named Shore
Would allow horny sailors to score,
But employed every means
Of avoiding Marines-
She was rotten, they claimed, to the Corps.
_______________________________

There was this young fellow from Yale,
Whose face was exceedingly pale.
He spent his vacation,
In self-masturbation,
Because of the high price of tail.
_______________________________

A publisher went off to France
In search of a tale of romance.
A Parisian lady
Told a story so shady,
The publisher made an advance.
<Snagged by>
Ross

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Orgreenic Kitchenware

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She was beautiful, blonde and buxom - a perfect specimen of
womanhood - with a small baby in her arms. He was in his first day
in private practice, eager to show he knew all about everything.

"What's seems to be the problem?", he asked in his best medical
manner.

"It's the baby", she said, "He seems under-nourished."

Earnestly the doctor carried out an extensive examination of the
baby and then asked, "Is he breast-fed?"

"Yes doctor, he is", she replied.

"Will you strip off to the waist now, please?" the doctor said.

The young woman looked at the doctor somewhat anxiously, and began
to protest. "But doctor ... "

The doctor simply brushed her protestations aside by saying, "it is
better to look at everything ... so if you wouldn't mind?"

Blushing with embarrassment, she took off her blouse and bra,
revealing a perfect pair of large, firm breasts. The young doctor
professionally weighed each one in his hands, stroked them forward
and back, and then gently flicked each nipple in turn for a few
moments, finally lightly squeezing them between his fingers and
thumb.

Ah!", he said, as his face broke into a knowing smile. "That's the
problem, you do not have one little bit of milk!"

"Oh doctor, that's not the problem", she replied, "I'm just the
baby- sitter - but it sure has been a REAL pleasure meeting you!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Slap Chop - Dice, Chop & Mince in Seconds

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An old man, Mr. Wallace, was living in a nursing home.

One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed. Nurse Tracy asked
him if there was anything wrong.

"Yes, Nurse Tracy" said Mr. Wallace.

"My Private Part died today, and I am very sad."

Knowing her patients were a little forgetful and sometimes a little
crazy, she replied, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Wallace. Please accept my
condolences."

The following day, Mr. Wallace was walking down the hall with his
Private Part hanging out of his pajamas. He met Nurse Tracy. "Mr.
Wallace," she said, "You shouldn't be walking down the hall like
that.

Please put your Private Part back inside your pajamas."

"But, Nurse Tracy I can't," replied Mr. Wallace.

"I told you yesterday that my Private Part died.

"Yes," said Nurse Tracy, "you did tell me that, but why is it
hanging out of your pajamas?"

"Well," he replied, "Today is the viewing."

Randy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1240

Jack and the Airport

Rudy: My cousins coming in on the airplane today at the local
airport.

Katie: Let's go meet him.

Sandi: Let me grab a sandwich.

Later at the small Guthrie airport....

Rudy: It has been a long time...since I have seen him. He is a black
lab. He works for the bomb squad.

Katie: Bomb!

Policeman: Did you say bomb?

Katie: Oh his cousin is coming in on a plane and he works for a bomb
squad.

Policeman: Well there are some words you cannot use in the airport.
Just be careful/

Sandi: We will.

Rudy: There is a plane landing...and some dogs are getting off.

Sandi: Is that black lab him?

Rudy: Yes, it is! Hi Jack!

Policeman: Stop where you are!

The herd in Guthrie

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult Adult

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

No virus found in this incoming message.
Checked by AVG.
Version: 8.0.100 / Virus Database: 269.23.21/1456 - Release Date:
5/20/2008 6:45 AM

__._,_.___
To Subscribe send a blank email to Buffalos-adult-jokes-subscribe@egroups.com

To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com

Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
.

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner!(for Sunday)



 


THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!

 

Let everyone sweep in front of his own door
and the whole world will be clean.
Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
_______________

Clean-n-Green Laundry Ball
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detergent with Laundry Ball and you'll not only save money,
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1000 to 1200 uses, sometimes longer. Laundry Ball uses
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water-polluting ingredients like laundry detergent.
Get the benefits of Laundry Ball today.
http://www.tinyurl.com/ylsxzva

 


GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
You know, I'm sure you have seen all the
"press 1 for english" email out there.
Ya, there is the picture of the Duke,
(John Wayne) cussing and swearing that
there is no way in hell he is going to do it.
And so forth. To be honest with you?
That never really bothers me. I guess
over the last 20 years that I have just
come to expect it when I call that
mysterious 800 number for whatever reason.
But you know what really gets me?
Now this is DEFINITELY the postman's pet
peeve. You ever press one for English,
and the person answers, and you STILL
can't understand them!!!!???  Go figger.
==============
Well it finally happened folks. Almost a
year ago, the old washer died, and we
bought a new Maytag. Being ever the thrifty
house wife, when I asked her if she wanted
a new dryer to match, she said, "Nah,
let's just wait till the dryer dies to
get that one." So, that's what we did.Well,
finally, about 2 months ago, the old dryer started
making noise that probably was louder than
the air port here in town with a 747 taking
off from it. "Ready to get a new dryer now?"
I asked." "Well, its making noise, but it
seems to still be working." So that was
that.And then, the other night she was in
the laundry room, I heard a "OH NO..." along
with noise that sounded like a freight train,
and smoke along with it, emmanating from
the laundry room. When things got quiet finally,
I dared to take a peak. There she was,
with that funny look on her face. "Its time,
isn't it?" I asked. With out saying a word
she just nodded. And now we are the proud owners
of a brand new dryer that matches our washer
which we purchased not quite a year ago.
What really sux is that they put one price on
the dryer, but by the time you pay their delivery fee,
hook up, pay for moving out the old one. pay for
a new gas line bcuz they won't hook it up with
out a new one, pay an extended warranty, pay
for this which is extra, pay for that which is
extra, it damn near doubles your price. its just
one of those W.T.F. kinda deals that life gives ya,
you know?

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
________________

 

COMICS

carrot
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o060.html

backside
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o061.html

rollin in it
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o062.html

tee pee
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o063.html

redneck motto
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o064.html

forgotten
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o065.html

Starbucks
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o066.html

unlucky
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o067.html

unusual
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o068.html

busy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o069.html

__________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

I wish I was a little boy again
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9186.html

wife school
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9187.html

outsourcing update
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9188.html

the demon cat
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9189.html

accident at the race track
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9190.html

UPS
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9191.html

911 call-(racist content)
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9192.html

The Fourth Grade concert is fast approaching and
Johnny has still not decided what he will do. Little
Sarah is going to do a piano solo, Mikey will recite
a poem, but Johnny can't come up with anything.
Finally, his frustrated teacher is relieved when he
tells her he has worked out his act.Come the night of
the concert, all the proud parents fill the hall and
watch as Sarah, in her prettiest dress, tickles
the ivories to rapturous applause.Then Mikey steps
out in his best suit and recites his poems to the
delight of the audience.Finally, out comes Johnny, in
checked shirt and denim overalls. He steps up to the
microphone and says: "Ladies and Gentlemen. My uncle
owns a farm and every holiday my family visits him
there. His wife, my aunt Martha, always cooks a real
down-home country meal for us all, and we feast and
stuff ourselves silly, for days on end. Tonight, I
would like to share with you my impression of some of
the many sounds I hear on my uncle's farm. Here is the
first: "Johnny! Why don't you get your ass off the
shitter and give someone else a chance?!""
____________

George and Laura were invited to a Halloween Party
at some friends house. Being their names were George
and Laura, they decided to go as George and Laura Bush.
On Halloween night they got dressed in their costumes
and masks and arrived at the party. They separated,
George went off with some guys to talk and Laura did
the same with some ladies. After a few hours of
drinking, Laura happened to see George coming out of
the bathroom. Laura said, "Hello Lover, why don't
we find an empty bedroom."
George said, "Uh, well, OK, I guess."
They got partly undressed and after a little foreplay,
they started fucking.They lay on the bed in the darkened
bedroom, their breath came hot and fast, as he hammered
her pussy. "Oh, George, Oh George, I'm cumming
again!" she said passionately. "You've never made love
to me like this before. I've actually cum three times.
Is it because of the holiday spirit?" "No," he panted,
as he shot a second load of cum in her pussy. 
"It is probably because I am not George!"
_______________

Ole & Lena lived by a lake in Nordern Minnesota.  It
vas springtime, and da lakes vas yust beginning to thaw.
Ole asked Lena if she vould valk across da frozen lake
to da yeneral store to get him some smokes. She asked
him for some money, but he told her, 'Nah, yust put
it on our tab'. So she valked across, got da smokes at
da yeneral store, den valked back home across da lake.
Ven she got home and gave Ole his smokes, she asked him,
'Ole, you alvays tell me not to run up da tab at da store.
Why didn't you yust give me some money?'
Ole replied, 'Vell, I didn't vant to send you out dere vit
any money ven I vasn't sure how tick the ice vas.'
_____________

The gig was just about ready to start when the bandleader
called the female singer over and said: "Listen, tonight
we're going to begin the set with 'April in Paris', but
I want to do it a little differently. We'll start in
the key of G for the first four bars, then modulate to
B-flat for the next eight bars, change the meter to
3/4 for six bars, then pick up the tempo to Allegro
for twelve bars, then modulate to F-sharp for eight bars,
change the meter back to 4/4 and slow down to Rubato for
four bars, play a tacet for four bars, modulate up to
D-flat for eight bars..."
"HEY, HOLD ON!" the girl said. "I can't do stuff like
that without rehearsal!"
He said, "Why not? You've been doing it all week long!"
_____________

Harold was an old man. He was sick and in the hospital.
There was one nurse that just drove him crazy.  Every
time she came in, she would talk to him like he was a
child. She would say in a patronizing tone of voice,
"And how are we doing this morning," or "Are
we ready for a bath," or "Are we hungry?"
Old Harold had had enough of this particular nurse.
One day, at breakfast, old Harold took the apple juice
off the tray and put it in his bed side stand.  Next,
he was given a urine bottle to fill for testing..
So you know where the juice went!  The nurse came in a
later, picked up the urine bottle and looked at it.
"My, it seems we are a little cloudy today."  At this,
old Harold snatched the bottle out of her hand,
popped off the top, and drank it down, saying, "Well, I'll
run it through again.  Maybe I can filter it better this
time." The nurse fainted!  Old Harold just smiled!
_____________

FUN PAGES

Two (Too) Funny Motivationals
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=40946&s=n

Cross Eyed for Life
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41421&s=n

Get Me A Lawyer Quick
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=40944&s=n

____________

BUFFALO BILL

Sneeze Aivastus
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81816.htm

Sorry Sir no bathing suits in the lobby
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81817.htm

Sorry Officer
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81818.htm
________________

SYDESJOKES LIST

How It All Started #1
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000741.html

How It All Started #2
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000742.html

How It All Started #3
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000743.html

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

 

 



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__,_._,___

[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For 2-27

 



Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

It is 35 outside right now, sunny and calm, much too nice to be
sitting in front of the computer. The weather forecast show
more of the same for the next week. That's the only thing wrong
with living here is that the weather is predictable enough to
give you a wide margin of safety. There are no surprise tornadoes,
hurricanes, and we haven't had an earthquake in recordable history.
The only quake we get up here is when some idiot goes by
in his Dodge Durango with a 35,000 watt stereo. That's also the
same idiot that complains to OSHA that noise on the job is causing
hearing loss.

The reason I am mentioning this is that at the moment Haiti
is still trying to deal with a quake that had great loss of life and
Japan and Chili have had major quakes in the last day and
Hawaii is waiting for a tsunami to hit that isn't big but it is
moving faster than a 747. I am glad that life is boring, 40 years
ago I'd probably be headed for the beach to watch the wave
come in, nevermind the fact that I am a poor swimmer. Ah
to be young and stupid again, beats old and stupid any day.

Enjoy the chips and if you are in Hawaii please move your
computer to higher ground.

buffalo

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Race Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A bloke was having a few drinks by himself at a casino when he met
up with a striking but quite small and slim young woman.

They got on famously and ended up in bed.

She told him she was a jockey and that, if he came to the races at
Randwick that day, she'd tip him the winner of each race she was
riding in by giving him a sign as she rode out of the saddling
paddock.

In race 2, she rode out rubbing both her breasts.

The bloke looked through the race book and found "Two Abreast" on
which he placed $100 at 5 to 1. It won by 2 lengths.

"Shit, this is great he thought. In race 4, she rode out rubbing
her fingers around her eyes.

He put the lot on "Eyeliner" at 10 to 1 and was 5 grand in front.

In the last race she came out standing in the stirrups and rubbing
her crotch.

He backed nothing. After the races he met up with her and thanked
her for the winners in races 2 & 4.

"What about "Itchy Mickey" in the last at 66-1?" she asked.

"Shit, he said, "I thought you were telling me the cunt was
scratched".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

sex
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o057.html

meeting tonight
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o058.html

4 cocks
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o059.html

Horn Ass
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000735.html

Hot Babe
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000736.html

Hot Tub Mishap
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000737.html

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wife Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"A MICHIGAN Wife"
Three men married wives from different states.

The first man married a woman from TEXAS. He told her that she was
to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but
on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes
washed and put away.

The second man married a woman from Missouri . He gave his wife
orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking.
The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it
was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes
were done and there was a huge dinner on the table.

The third man married a girl from MICHIGAN . He ordered her to keep
the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and
hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he
didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything but by
the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a
little out of his left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he
could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Melt it Off with Mitch - As Seen On TV Weightloss

Mitch Gaylord won 4 Olympic medals and has been inducted into the
Olympic Hall of Fame. He became the first ever American gymnast to
score a perfect 10! From his knowledge of core training, he designed
the Melt It Off system.

With Mitch's 3 Day Melt It Off Kick Start, you can start on
Wednesday and be a size smaller for the weekend. Guaranteed! In
independent university testing, the average result was over 5 pounds
and 1 size in just 3 days!*

http://buffaloschips.com/mitch

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alaska Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jon lived in Anchorage, Alaska. Right downtown. His house
was literally right downtown. But he had no indoor plumbing.
He did, however, have an outhouse. The older he got, though,
the further away it seemed to get.

One night, he decided to just skip the trip. Instead, he
decided to just relieve himself right there off the front porch.

His wife was pretty pissed about his decision. "Jon, you
moron. Our neighbors can see you when you do this, you know."

He'd not given THAT scenario much thought, so he promised
his wife he'd not do it again.

Not too many nights later, though, it turned bitterly cold.
Right in the middle of the night he had to piss like a race
horse. He got up, put on his slippers, and headed out of the
bedroom to do his business.

He was back in two shakes (so to speak). His wife,
suspicious as wives are apt to be, said, "You weren't gone
very long."

"That's right."

"You went off the porch again, didn't you?"

"Yes, I did."

"We had a talk about this, remember? The neighbors could
see you, right. They'll know it was you and what you're doing
out there."

"Naw, they won't know it's me! This time I was squatting down!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why spend large around of time and money on height exercises, human
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limb lengthening, gimmicky pills, elevator shoes and other special
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- Adds over 1" to your overall height
- Made of High-Quality Neoprene Gel
- Cushioned for maximum comfort
- Easily trimmed to fit different shoe shapes
- Can be used in all standard footwear

LiftKit Benefits
- Helps decrease pressure on joints
- Helps relieve pressure on your spine
- Have better posture

http://buffaloschips.com/lifts

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dog Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three Labrador retrievers-one brown, one yellow and one black-were
sitting in the waiting room at the vet's office when they struck up
a conversation.
The black lab turned to the brown and said, "So why are you here?"

The brown lab replied, "I'm a wetter. I wet on everything-the sofa,
the drapes, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night
when I wet in the middle of my owner's bed."

The black lab said, "So what is the vet going to do?"

"Gonna give me Prozac," came the reply from the brown lab. "All the
vets are prescribing it. It works for everything."

The black lab then turned to the yellow lab and asked, "Why are you
here?"

The yellow lab said, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up
flowers and trees, I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside,
I dig up the carpets.
But I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole in
my owner's couch."

"So what are they going to do to you?" the black lab inquired.

"Looks like Prozac for me too," the dejected yellow lab said.

The yellow lab then turned to the black lab and asked, "Why are you
at the vet's office?"

"I'm a humper," the black lab said "I'll hump anything. I'll hump
the cat, a pillow, the table, fire hydrants, whatever. I want to
hump everything I see.
Yesterday, my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending
down to dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on
her back and started humping away."

The yellow and brown labs exchanged a sad glance and said, "So,
Prozac for you too, huh?"

The black lab said, "No, I'm here to get my nails clipped."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Confucius says, "Man who go to bed with sex on mind wake up with
solution in hand."

It was at the office party. They lay on the office reception couch
in the darkened room, their breath came hot and fast, as he hammered
her pussy. "Oh, Melvin, oh Melvin, I'm cumming again!" she said
passionately. "You've never made love to me like this before. Is it
because of the holiday spirit?" "No," he panted. "It is probably
because I am not Melvin!"

New girl friends like a fresh roll of toilet paper. It may be hard
to get the first piece, but after that you can rip one off anytime.

Wanting to be married, a couple came to the county courthouse in
Virginia where I work. They accidentally walked up to the offices
where hunting licenses are sold. "We're from out-of-state," said the
prospective groom. "Can we get a license?" The clerk replied, "No,
but I can give you a three-day permit."

Giving a blow job a win/lose situation. He may have you on your
knees, but you have him by the balls.

Jill had been divorced for a few years and, very lonely, finally
consented to going out on a date with John, the gentleman her son
fixed her up with. John picked her up and they went on a picnic in a
very secluded spot. John also had been divorced for a long time and
found himself very attracted to Jill, and despite her resistance at
first to his advances, he finally was able to make love to her. Jill
was mortified at her lack of self-control and sobbed, "I don't know
how I can face my son, knowing that in a time of weakness I sinned
twice!" John said, "What do you mean 'twice'? We only did it once!"
Jill looked at John and said, "Well, we're going to do it again,
aren't we?"

Stan Kegel

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Touch-n-Brush - Hands Free Toothpaste Dispenser

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squeeze every available drop of toothpaste in the tube. Get the
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wedding Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There lived some years ago in western PA., an old circuit preacher,
Father West, by name whose genial humor and general kindness had
greatly endeared him to all the people of his district. He was a
particular favorite with the young fold matrimonially inclined, and
his opportunities to "tie the knot"
were numerous.

On one occasion, he found upon his arrival at a certain town several
couples awaiting his blessing. The old man was tired and wished to
make short work of the job.

"Stand up," he began, "and jine hands." Which being done, he rattled
through a marriage service, that like himself was original.

"There," he said, when it was finished, "ye can go. Ye're man and
wife, ev'ry one o' ye."

Two of the couples hesitated and finally made it apparent that in
the sudden "jining" they had taken the hands of the wrong persons.

The old preacher's eyes twinkled as he took in the situation, but he
instantly straightened up, and with a wave of his hand dispersed
them "I married ye all," he said, "Sort yourselves."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends

Melva w/Daybreak Sheds The Dark
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Insp/B/Da.html

Brother Bob's Poems Of The Week:
http://ministry-webs.com/ministry/brotherbob/index.html

carolyn w/ Young Love
http://carolynspreciousmemories.com/50s/younglove.html

Dancing Friend
http://www.carolspoetry.com/carol02.html

His Time
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/InHisTime.htm

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.

Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
impressive income opportunity to grab during the worst economy we've
seen in over 50 years.

And here's everything they don't want you to know...

http://buffaloschips.com/scoop

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Surfin Surfari

Mushroom Basics
http://americanmushrooms.com/basics.htm

Talk To A Human When You Call A Company
http://www.gethuman.com

Humor In Politics 4
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/politics4.html

Humor In Religion 2
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hreligion2.html

Paperback Book Exchange
http://www.thebookcart.com/

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.

Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:

As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.

Press here to get your copy:

http://buffaloschips.com/kit

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

PHP or PERL?
http://www.thesitewizard.com/archive/phpvscgi.shtml

Oqo
http://www.oqo.com/

Everything Mac
http://www.macworld.com/

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!

Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.

PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:

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Animal World

Doggie Zone
http://www.tdi-dog.org/

Kitty Korner
http://www.shilesstudio.com/tut_cat.php

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

We understand that you may have accidentally deleted important
documents, pictures, or other various files from your computer that
you thought you could never get back.

Well, we wanted to let you know that you can easily get your deleted
pictures, documents, or files back today using a program called File
R/D.

You can easily try File R/D right now, for no cost, to run a -free-
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Once the scanning is complete you will have full control over which
files you want to recover.

Press here to run the -free- analysis scan:

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Here is some more information about this new way to watch
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1) All of the programming is uncensored!

2) There are hundreds of channels from around the world to watch!
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Press Here For More Information and To Download Now:

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Movie Links

Subject:

Sensitivity Training
http://www.buffaloschips.com/898.htm

Serv 3 Chunk
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81810.htm

Sex In The Future
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81811.htm

Short Dip
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81812.htm

Singing Monkey
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81813.htm

Dirty Sneakers
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jdj.htm

Dodge Viper VS Tzero Electric Car
http://www.buffaloschips.com/89uy.htm

Dog In Trance
http://www.buffaloschips.com/t43e.htm

Don't Eat While Driving
http://www.buffaloschips.com/t54.htm

Energy Star
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gre3.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stranded Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man stranded on a desert island comes across
a woman who has washed up onto shore. The
man helps the woman and welcomes her to the island.

Later on that day, the woman says, "I don't suppose
you smoked before you were stranded on this island,
did you?"

The man explains that he did smoke before becoming
stranded on the island. So, the woman produces a
cigarette from her bag, and they enjoy a smoke together.

A little later, the woman says, "I don't suppose
you drank before you were stranded on this island,
did you?"

The man explains that he did drink before becoming
stranded on the island. So, the woman produces a
flask from her bag, and they enjoy a drink together.

Some time later, the woman says, "So, you've been
on this island for ten years without a woman, huh?"

"That's right," says the man.

The woman continue, "I don't suppose you'd like to
play around?"

"Good Lord, lady," exclaimed the man, "you have
a set of golf clubs in that bag, too?!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Full Details:

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Finger nails
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30803.htm

Lard Ass
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30804.htm

Back Face
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30805.htm

Royal Stuck-up
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30806.htm

Typing
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30807.htm

Book of Mormon
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30808.htm

Big Nutz
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30809.htm

Customs
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30810.htm

Fishing
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30811.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Grow your own delicious blueberries with Blueberry Giant.

Produce up to 4 pints of juicy blueberries daily- 16,000 blueberries
from a single plant.

Buy 2 plants for $10.00 and get 1 on us.

View Web Version

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a young girl in Berlin
Who was fucked by an elderly Finn
Though he diddled his best,
And fucked her with zest
She kept asking, "hey Pop, is it in?"
_______________________________________

Humpty Dumpty sat on the bed,
Little Bow Peep was giving him head.
As soon as he came, she started to weep,
She knew by the taste
he'd been fucking her sheep.
_______________________________________

There was a young bishop from Trest,
Who openly practiced incest.
"My sisters and nieces,
Are all dandy pieces,
And don't cost a cent," he confessed.
<Snagged by>
Ross

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Orgreenic Kitchenware

Get healthy with natural ceramic non-stick cookware. It's super
non-stick surface is a patented natural ceramic material that
requires little or no oil, butter or grease to cook your food just
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Learn More

http://buffaloschips.com/orgreen

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on beds next to each other,
outside the operating room.
The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"

The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a
little nervous."

The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that

done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up
they give you lots of Jell-O and ice-cream. It's a breeze."

The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"

The first kid says, "A circumcision."

And the second kid says, "Whoa, Good luck, buddy, I had that done
when I was born...

Couldn't walk for a year....

Randy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Slap Chop - Dice, Chop & Mince in Seconds

Slap Chop makes chopping up vegetables, nuts and fruits quick and
easy. The food gets finer with every slap - you'll never need to
switch the blade. Slap Chop is dishwasher safe making clean up a
breeze.

Order one today and get a second one at no charge.

View Web Version

http://buffaloschips.com/dice

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the washroom in the airport, I saw a handwritten sign posted
over one of those hot air hand dryers. It read, "Please push button

and listen for a short message from the President!"

There's nothing like "hot air" and the smell of fresh shit to give
you that true Obama presence!! --

Patricia

"A shocking new report shows that 83,000 people who took the
diabetes drug Avandia suffered heart attacks. But Avandia is trying
to prove that all those people had those attacks while driving
Toyotas with stuck accelerator pedals."

- Jake Novak

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stay clean with a wave of your hand

Soap Magic is the easy-to-use, hands free soap dispenser that works
like magic. Using the latest sensor technology, Soap Magic works
with all liquid soaps, lotions, shampoos and hand sanitizers.

Find out about ordering today a receiving a second Soap Magic
dispenser free.

Limited time offer so act now.

Click the link below for more information:

http://buffaloschips.com/soap

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1239

It's the Cheese Man

BJ has popped some popcorn, his favorite the pour over Chedder
cheese kind and the dogs are huddling close to him.

BJ tosses one to Rudy.... Chomp..

one to Sandi...Chomp...

one to Katie...Pitoey!

BJ: What is the matter with the one I gave you Katie?

Katie: It did not have any cheese on it.

BJ: What? Rudy and Sandi do not care if the popcorn has cheese or
not.

Katie: Tsk tsk, I am not them. I prefer cheese on my popcorn.

BJ: Egads, what a monster I have created.

Rudy: I will take her popcorn if she doesn't want it.

Sandi: Me to.

BJ: Well Katherine...?

Katie: Well I have my standards I must uphold.

BJ: Oh give me strength.

The herd in Guthrie

(for real, Katie will spit out the popcorn if it does not have
cheese
on it)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult Adult

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

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Checked by AVG.
Version: 8.0.100 / Virus Database: 269.23.21/1456 - Release Date:
5/20/2008 6:45 AM

__._,_.___
To Subscribe send a blank email to Buffalos-adult-jokes-subscribe@egroups.com

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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
.

__,_._,___

Re-Slim Dunlap

Slimbob Dunlap was one in a million. The outpouring of love for him here in Minneapolis since the news broke is overwhelming. Everyone has a...