[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For 12-31-10

 



Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

I want to thank everyone for the kind words and for sharing your
lives
and humor with me over the past year. It is always a pleasure after
I have brushed aside the annoyances of the day to open my mailbox
and hear from you. I am ready to face the new year and hope that
you will all be beside me as we see what the next 365 days have
in store. There will be hopes and dreams, tears and fears, and
change galore but with each other for strength and humor in our
hearts we will make it or end up in Heaven trying. Welcome to 2011.

I will be going to 6 daya a week for a short time at least till I
get

back on an even keel and my hours are going to be varied.

For those who have waited 31 days to see what we have to give
us reason to imbibe or take a moment to rest and contemplate
here is this month's list of weird holidays.

1 New Year's Day

1 First Foot Day

1 Polar Bear Swim Day

1 First Cheese Factory Opened

2 Drinking Straw patented

3 Festival of Sleep Day

3 National Chocolate Covered Cherry Day

4 Trivia Day

4 Tennis Day

4 Flower Basket Day

4 National Spaghetti Day

5 National Whipped Cream Day

5 Bird Day

6 Bean Day

7 Old Rock Day

7 Panama Canal Day

7 Typewriter Patented

8 Rock 'n' Roll Day

8 First Computer Patented

10 Peculiar People Day

10 Volunteer Fireman's Day

11 Secret Pal Day

11 International Thank You Day

11 Pharmacist's Day

11 National Milk Day (milk delivered in bottles for first time-1878)

12 Feast of Fabulous Wild Men Day

13 Make Your Dreams Come True Day

13 Stephen Foster Memorial Day

14 National Dress Up Your Pet Day

15 Hat Day

15 Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s Birthday (born 1929)

16 Hot and Spicy Food International Day

16 Religious Freedom Day

16 National Fig Newton Day

16 National Nothing Day

17 Pig Day

17 Ben Franklin's Birthday (born 1706)

18 Winnie the Pooh Day

19 National Popcorn Day

19 Archery Day

19 Robert E. Lee's Birth Anniversary (born 1807)

20 Cheese Day

20 Basketball Day 21 Hat Day

21 National Hugging Day

23 National Handwriting Day

23 National Pie Day

23 Measure Your Feet Day

24 National Peanut Butter Day

24 Eskimo Pie Patent Day (by Christian Nelson in 1922) 24 Gold
discovered in California (Sutter's Mill in 1848)

24 National School Nurse Day

25 Opposite Day

25 Observe the Weather Day

26 National Popcorn Day

26 National Peanut Brittle Day

27 National Chocolate Cake Day

27 Australia Day (the day Sydney, Australia was settled in 1778)

27 National School Nurse Day

28 National Kazoo Day

28 Bald Eagle Day

29 National Rattle Snake Roundup Day

29 National Puzzle Day

29 National Corn Chip Day

30 Escape Day

31 National Popcorn Day

31 National Backwards Day

Enjoy the chips ... buffalo

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Honey Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Doug and Tammy decided to take a vacation and travel
across the country and visit little known rural areas,
staying in off the beaten track motels.

They stopped their first night at a motel that must
have been at least 100 years old, and one that hadn't
had any renovations done since day one. They were
preparing themselves for bed and Doug decided to have
one last cigarette before getting in to bed, so he
left the room to go outside and have his smoke.

When Doug returned to the room, he actually started
feeling quite romantic, so he carefully opened the
door and said, "Honey? Honey?.

There was no response.

He tried again, "Honey? Hey, honey!" a bit louder this time.

Still no reply.

Finally a male voice from the blackness in front of
him said, "This ain't no beehive you damn fool, this
here's the bathroom."

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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

wanna go out
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y068.html

bad news
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y069.html

Jay Leno says...
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y070.html

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Short Chips
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A young buck went into a large store for a packet of rubbers. "Have
you tried the rainbow ones?" asked the assistant, "We've got red
ones, blue ones, green ones, orange ones, yellow ones, plus a few
other different colors." "I'll try the lot," said the young man
adventurously. Six months later, he appeared in the same store with
a rather sorry looking young girl asking for maternity dresses. The
same assistant served them asking, "What bust, madam?" "The blue
one," The young man said sadly.

?

Todd was in his hospital bed and had been getting many tests done. A
nurse came in and stated, "I have bad news and good news. Which do
you want first?" "Tell me the bad news first" said Todd The nurse
replies, "The bad news is that your HMO refuses to pay for you to
have an enema. But, the good news is that your doctor will be in
shortly to slap the shit out of you."

?

A woman walks into a drug store to buy tampons. She notices a group
of tampons stacked on a table in the corner with a sign on them
saying "5 Well, the woman just could not believe this price so she
asks the clerk if it was correct. He said "Oh yes, 5 for a dollar."

She said "That can't be right!" The clerk says "Oh yes, it's right!

Five boxes for a dollar, no strings attached."

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Press Dough - Design your own cookie creations

Make fun, editable art with Press Dough. Take cookie making to a new
level
with creating patterns, animals, shapes, and more. All Pieces are
dishwasher
safe so clean up is a breeze. Just press, bake and decorate--Eat all
the fun
you make.

Learn More

http://buffaloschips.com/presdo

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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two guys were discussing the new secretary at their office.

John to George: "Man, I dated her last Tuesday and we had wonderful
sex. She's a lot better in bed than my wife!"

[Two days later]

George to John: "Well, I dated her too and we had sex as
well, but *I* think your wife's a way better lay."

~~~~

Two senior citizens were bragging about their sex lives in
the elderly homes, "Can you still do it? I have sex with
my wife twice a week. How many can you do?"

"Oh, I do it almost every night of the week!"

"Almost every night!!?????"

"Yup! Monday, almost. Tuesday, almost. Wednesday,........"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bare Lifts - Invisible Bra Support

Bare Lifts is the invisible solution to a naturally perky look. Wear
them
with any outfit, dress or swimsuit. They give you proper shape and
support
and lasts up to 24 hours. Just place, peel, lift and go - it's that
simple.
Bare Lifts works on all cup sizes A-D and you can forget spending
hundreds
on specialty bras and lift systems.

Buy 1, Get 1 on us - order today.

Learn More

http://buffaloschips.com/lifts

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jill was talking to her hair stylist. "It's silly," she said, "but
my daughter has some sort of crazy idea about losing her hair."
"What do you mean?" the beautician asked. "Well, I overheard her on
the phone the other day telling her best friend that she hoped she'd
be 'balled' soon."

Virgin Wool: Wool from a sheep that can outrun a New Zealander An
eighty-year-old man who had proclivities toward exhibitionism was
arrested for displaying his dried arrangement. When he tried to
force himself on a young woman, he was booked again for assault with
a dead weapon (Richard Lederer) .

What did the sign on the door of the brothel say?
Beat it - We're closed.

Confucius Says fly who sit on toilet seat, get pissed off.

Calling on an attractive coed, the theology professor asked, "Who
was the first man?" "If it's all the same to you, sir," replied the
embarrassed coed, "I'd rather not tell."

Two hookers were on a street corner. They started discussing
business, and one of the hookers said, "Gonna be a good night, I
smell cock in the air." The other hooker looked at her and said,
"No, I just burped."

Who's the most popular guy at a nude beach?
The guy who can carry two cups of coffee and seven donuts.

Who's the most popular girl at a nude beach?
The girl who can eat the seventh donut.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Be Alert, Keep Track!
Get Your Sleep Diary!

Many people suffer sleeping disorders and keeping track of sleeping
habits
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sleep
diary, being alert and keeping track has never been easier.

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bar:

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Max the plumber was summoned to a mansion to fix a leak and,
discovering a very pretty maid there, he lost no time trying to
combine business with pleasure. The girl refused on the grounds
that her mistress was home, and she didn't want to be discovered and
fired. After several refusals, Max finished the job and returned to
his shop. The very next morning, his phone rang and his caller was
the maid. In very dulcet tones, she informed him that her mistress
was out. She asked if he wanted to come over and see her. "What!"
yelled Max. "On my own time?"

In a small Irish town, a poor, unwed girl was about to give birth.
Since she was destitute, the hospital bill was paid by the town
treasury. Subsequently, the parenthood was determined, and the
alleged father was penalized with a heavy fine. When the
treasurer's report was read at the annual town meeting, it was
disclosed that the township had realized a handsome profit on the
unfortunate event.
One of the town officials then rose and announced, "I recommend we
breed her again."

Two women, one rather overweight and one very thin, were together at
a restaurant, discussing men. "Men may like to look at thin women,
but they prefer to have sex with women who have some meat on their
bones," said the overweight woman. "Oh Really!!! Did your
boyfriend tell you that?" said the thin one. "No," shot back the
fat woman.
"Yours did!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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NFL REDZONE:
What is NFL Zone? Sunday afternoons during the season, NFL RedZone
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NFL RedZone is the must-have channel for every football fan and the
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DISH Network and DISH Network logos are registered trademarks and/or
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service marks
are used by the authority of DISH Network L.L.C. and/or its
applicable
affiliate(s).

http://buffaloschips.com/dshtv

First-time DISH Network customers only. This promotion expires and
is
subject to change after Jan 31st, 2011.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends

Melva/Happy New Year ~ 2011
http://www.silverandgoldandthee.com/Christmas/Nw.html

Brother Bob's Poems Of The Week:
http://ministry-webs.com/ministry/brotherbob/index.html

Rick w/ ~A New Years Prayer~
http://www.wtv-zone.com/Cruise_2000/r/NewYearPrayer.html

Daily Sunshine
http://www.carolspoetry.com/carol01.html

Yearly Friendship Renewal!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/renewal.html

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.

Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
impressive income opportunity to grab during the worst economy we've
seen in over 50 years.

And here's everything they don't want you to know...

http://buffaloschips.com/scoop

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Surfin Surfari

No little dots of lite, just planes, planes, planes...
Dianne
Calgary
http://marcbrecy.perso.neuf.fr/Oshkosh.html

New year's Toasts
http://www.algeo.net/poetry/page25.html

SoYouWanna cure a hangover?
http://www.soyouwanna.com/site/syws/hangover/hangover.html

Hangovers and Hangover Cures And Remedies
http://www.rupissed.com/hangovercures.html

New Year's Eve Chicago
http://www.centerstagechicago.com/promos/nye/

Earth Cam Times Square
http://newyears.earthcam.com/

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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.

Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:

As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.

Press here to get your copy:

http://buffaloschips.com/kit

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

Carolyn w/ New Years Eve
http://carolynspreciousmemories.com/Holiday/NewYearsEve.html

Happy New Year To You...written by Ginny Bryant
http://www.alighthouse.com/newyear20.html

Happy New Year...Flash
http://www.angel9oh7.com/nypenguin1.html

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Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!

Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.

PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:

http://buffaloschips.com/date

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Animal World

Doggie Zone
http://dogs.about.com/od/caringfordogsandpuppies/qt/holidaysafety.htm

Kitty Korner
http://www.gigglezonegreetings.com/newyear.html

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

We understand that you may have accidentally deleted important
documents, pictures, or other various files from your computer that
you thought you could never get back.

Well, we wanted to let you know that you can easily get your deleted
pictures, documents, or files back today using a program called File
R/D.

You can easily try File R/D right now, for no cost, to run a -free-
analysis scan that will allow you to view deleted pictures, files,
documents, etc... Once you have complete the -free- analysis scan
you will be amazed by what you see! In fact, you will even see what
other people have deleted from your computer.

Once the scanning is complete you will have full control over which
files you want to recover.

Press here to run the -free- analysis scan:

http://buffaloschips.com/restore

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Movie Links

Topper
http://www.buffaloschips.com/62511.htm

Trained Puppies
http://www.buffaloschips.com/62512.htm

Tread Mill
http://www.buffaloschips.com/62513.htm

Tree Sex
http://www.buffaloschips.com/62514.htm

Trick Boobies
http://www.buffaloschips.com/62515.htm

Verrassing
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7801.htm

Water Power
http://www.buffaloschips.com/71008.htm

Way Cool Toy
http://www.buffaloschips.com/71009.htm

Wekker Problem
http://www.buffaloschips.com/71010.htm

Welcome Home
http://www.buffaloschips.com/71601.htm

Westfall Horse Video
http://www.buffaloschips.com/71602.htm

We Wish You A Merry Christmas
http://www.buffaloschips.com/71603.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Party Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the annual office Christmas party, John woke up with a
pounding headache, cotton-mouthed, and utterly unable to recall the
events of the preceding evening.
After a trip to the bathroom he was able to make his way downstairs,
where his wife put some coffee in front of him.

"Louise," he moaned, "tell me what went on last night. Was it as
bad as I think?"

"Oh, Even worse," she assured him, her voice laden with scorn. "You
made a complete ass of yourself! You succeeded in antagonizing the
entire board of directors, and insulted the president of the company
to his face."

John looked up and replied, "He's a jerk! Piss on him!"

"You did," Louise informed him. "And he immediately fired you."

"Well screw him and his whole board of directors," growled John.

Louise quickly remarked, "John, I'm really glad you feel that way...

because I did! You're back to work on Monday."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chicken bj
http://www.buffaloschips.com/vhkcbjkclbc.htm

chili night
http://www.buffaloschips.com/bncvjbnkcvbvc.htm

chinese
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hkfjbhkfghgf.htm

chinese2
http://www.buffaloschips.com/nvcmkbncv,bv.htm

choir
http://www.buffaloschips.com/nvkbjkclg.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BedBug Out - Don't Let the Bedbugs BiteReduce Bedbugs and other
pests
in as soon as 2 weeks. Rid your home of pests, dust mites and
bedbugs
quick and without harmful chemicals.

View Web Version

http://buffaloschips.com/bedbu

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I love to suck a great big tit
inch by inch, bit by bit,
I love to see her big breasts bare
they make my cum fly through the air.

Oh goodness gracious what big boobs!
They make my cum spurt out in goobs!
Their great to lick and squeeze and suck
not to mention titty fuck!

They say that having such big boobs
are really just a waste
but it takes more than just a mouthful
to get the greatest taste!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fushigi - Magic Gravity Ball

Mesmerize the mind and confuse the senses. Fushigi is an incredible,
therapeutic form of relaxation. The art of maneuvering a clear,
reflective
sphere through mind and body isolation and manipulation creates the
illusion
that the sphere is moving on its own.

Everyone loves the art of Fushigi.

Learn More

http://buffaloschips.com/fushi

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There's an oversexed lady named Whyte,
Who insists on a dozen a night.
A fellow named Cheddar,
Had the brashness to wed her...
His chance of survival is slight.

"I'm sick of Tchaikovsky", said May,
"And this Handel and Bach that we play."
So she put down her fiddle,
And diddled her middle;
"It's time for Depussy I say."

There was a young nudist from Denver
Who had an unusual member;
It was stiff as Jello
When the weather was mellow.
But a popsicle every December!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spin & Spin and Stuff Stays In!

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The Gyro Bowl is 100% kid-proof, virtually indestructible,
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perfect for small children, and a great addition to parties!

Order your Gyro Bowl today - it's the perfect gift for new parents!

http://buffaloschips.com/gyrob

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn Vol 1955

Christmas 2010 - The Doggie Wars

?

Sandi has been the Alpha dog of the four dog pack for years.
December 24th BJ decides to sit on Diana's bed.

Rudy is thinking: This is Diana's room, Diana's bed. This is my Dad.
I want to be close to him.

Sandi is thinking: What is Rudy doing getting close to my Daddy. I
will show him.

A push.

A shove.

Boom!

Snarl!

Growl!

Both dogs rear up on their hind legs and attack each other no hold
barred.

Teeth flashing! Anger to the max! This is all out hate!

BJ: Stop it! He is ignored. He cannot get between 160 pounds of fury
for fear they will rip him to shreds. He continues to implore them
to stop!

Soon they back off and quit.

BJ: What have you done? You are mates? You are best friends?

Sandi: We are done.

To be continued

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult

*********************************************

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
.

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner



 

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!

 

"I prefer dangerous liberty to peaceful servitude."
~Thomas Jefferson~

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

My Wish for You in 2011
May peace break into your home and may
thieves come to steal your debts.
May the pockets of your jeans become
a magnet for $100 bills.
May love stick to your face like Vaseline
and may laughter assault your lips
May happiness slap you across the face and
may your tears be that of joy
May the problems you had, forget your home address!
In simple words .............
May 2011 be the best year of your life!!! 
Happy New Year!!

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
___________

WHAT'S NEW IN 2011

THE COMICS

the internet
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y066.html

my girlfriend
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y067.html

wanna go out
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y068.html

bad news
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y069.html

Jay Leno says...
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y070.html
______________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

GEICO's R. Lee Ermey, appearing on behalf of
Toys 4 Tots & USO unloads on President Obama
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/670.html

doggie and the baby
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/671.html
_____________

POWER POINT DISPLAY

Against the Chinese invasion
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd554.html

Three kingdoms were in dispute over claims to an
island in the middle of lake on which they all bordered.
Finally, after exhausting all diplomatic options, the
rulers of the three kingdoms decided to send their
best knights to the island for a great battle, and
the winning kingdom would have claim to the island forever.
On the night before the battle, the three knights rowed
out to the island, each with a retinue of their best squires. 
Two of the groups of squires promptly got down to the
business of polishing armor, sharpening weapons and just
generally making sure their respective knights were
ready to face the others in the morning.
Meanwhile, the third squire tied a rope around the
handle of a large kettle, hoisted it off the ground by a
tree branch, and began cooking dinner, leaving his knight
to tend to his own armor and weapons.
The battle, which began promptly at sunrise, was
spectacular.  Three knights in gleaming armor clashed
with razor-sharp weapons.  On and on it raged, until
all three knights were dead.Since the conflict had not
been resolved, the squires then engaged in a battle of
their own, until the only squire left standing was the
one who had hoisted up the kettle to cook dinner the
night before.The moral:  "The squire of the high pot and
noose is equal to the sum of the squires on the other
two sides!"
_____________

John was tasked with taking the Christmas decorations
up to the attic for another year's storage. During one
trek up the stairs, heavily laden with boxes, he
slipped and luckily only fell about two steps before
landing square on his behind.
His wife heard the noise and yelled, "What was that thump?"
"I just fell down the stairs," he explained.
She rushed into the room, "Anything broken?!"
"No, no, I'm fine."
There was just a slight pause before his loving wife said,
"No, I meant my decorations? Are any of them broken?"
_____________

Just as she was celebrating her 80th birthday, our friend
received a jury-duty notice. She called to remind the
people at the clerk's office that she was exempt
because of her age.
"You need to come in and fill out the exemption forms," they said.
"I've already done that," she replied. "I did it last year."
"You have to do it every year," she was told.
"Why?" came the response? "Do you think I'm going to get younger?"
__________________

BUFFALO BILL

The Dildo Song
http://www.buffaloschips.com/6247.htm

The Elk
http://www.buffaloschips.com/6248.htm

Three Condoms Please
http://www.buffaloschips.com/6251.htm
_____________

FUN PAGES

A Race Across the Paper Cosmos
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42159&s=n

Goldfish Change Color
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42249&s=n

Witch Name Generator
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=37829&s=n

Fastest Firefly
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41423&s=n

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

 

 



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Funzines - Clean Cartoons January 1, 2010 C

 

 
hat02
 
Time to tell me your New Year's Eve horror stories.
I will add them here, so everyone can get a chuckle.
Ok, here is mine:  My girlfriend was in a big hurry
to get inside a bar/restaurant in Downers Grove, IL.
She slipped and we both went tumbling down the
stairs.  I got knocked out and she ended up with a
broken arm....we missed the countdown.
 
Please give a thought to donating a bit.
See below!
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I really could use some content.....share the goodies!
Babes, Men, Wavs, Erotic Art, Cartoons etc.
Thank you, bunches!
***************
See all my ezines at:
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Did you know you can reach me by
just hitting reply?
*************
Find the perfect Christmas gift for that
Funny person on your gift list!
Give everyone a Chuckle
**************
Please Click! 
Take a moment and check out this new product!
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ANON (you know who you are), Bruce, H., and William,
thank you, for your donations.
We so need it right now.  Big Smooch!
Please, if you enjoy my ezines, think
about giving a small donation.  Anything sure would help!
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Thank you, Your Editor
Dyan
 
 124184ATT00086222image008Maxine8-1-10Pickles059RUportapotty

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[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For 12-30-10

 



Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

Buffalo says We have run this in the past.

Hello, Folks... Ross here! ((o;
With the upcoming celebration of New Year's, here is a list
of resolutions ALL America would be able to keep! Think we should
adopt these instead of those insane resolutions, like "I promise
never to lie again?"

New Year's Resolutions You Can Keep

Are you sick of making the same resolutions year after year that you
never keep? Why not promise to do something you can actually
accomplish? Here are some resolutions that you can use as a starting
point:

1. I want to gain weight. Put on at least 30 pounds.
2. Stop exercising. Waste of time.
3. Read less.
4. Watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff.
5. Procrastinate more.
6. Drink. Drink some more.
7. Take up a new habit: smoking.
8. Spend at least $1000 a month on Ladies of the Night.
9. Spend more time at work.
10. Take a vacation to someplace important: like to see the largest
ball of twine.
11. Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more.
12. Quit giving money & time to charity.
14. Start being superstitious.
15. Have my car lowered and invest in a really loud stereo system.
Get the windows tinted. Buy some fur for the dash.
16. Speak in a monotone voice and only use monosyllabic words.
17. Only wear jeans that are 2 sizes too small and use a chain or
rope for a belt. Only wear white T-shirts with those fashionable
yellow stains under the arms.
18. Personal goal: bring back disco.
<Snagged by>
Ross
PROUD father of an American Soldier

We are having a little meltdown right now with some rain to help
melt the snow and
make ice to keep driving crazy. At midnight it was 37 outside and
that is supposed to
persist through the weekend. It does give you a break and makes the
snowmobilers
slow down to boot. With the driving conditions less than optimal in
most states I
think if you are going to participate in amateur's night you should
schedule a taxi cab
for tomorrow night. Even a few drinks increases your chances of an
accident and
nothing is worse than to wake up in a jail cell on New Year's Day.

Enjoy the chips .... buffalo

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Mermaid Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On a farm out in the country lived a man and a woman and their three
sons.
Early one morning, the woman awoke, and while looking out of the
window onto to the pasture, she saw that the family's only cow was
lying dead in the field.
The situation looked hopeless to her -- how could she possibly
continue to feed her family now?
In a depressed state of mind, she hung herself.
When the husband awoke to find his wife dead, as well as the cow, he
too began to see the hopelessness of the situation, and he shot
himself in the head.
Now the oldest son woke up to discover his parents dead (and the
cow), and he decided to go down to the river and drown himself.
When he got to the river, he discovered a mermaid sitting on the
bank.
She s aid, "I've seen all and know the reason for your despair. But
if you will have sex with me five times in a row, I will restore
your parents and the cow to you."
The son agreed to try, but after four times, he was simply unable to
satisfy her again. So the mermaid drowned him in the river.
Next the second oldest son woke up.
After discovering what had happened, he too decided to throw himself
into the river.
The mermaid said to him, "If you will have sex with me ten times in
a row, I will make everything right."
And while the son tried his best (seven times), it was not enough to
satisfy the mermaid, so she drowned him in the river.
The youngest son woke up and saw his parents dead, the dead cow in
the field, and his brothers gone. He decided that life was a
hopeless prospect, and he went down to the river to throw himself
in.
And there he also met the mermaid.
"I have seen all that has happened, and I can make everything right
if you will only have sex with me fifteen times in a row."
The young son replied, "Is that all? Why not twenty times in a
row?"

The mermaid was somewhat taken aback by this request.
Then he said, "Hell, why not twenty-five times in a row?"
And even as she was reluctantly agreeing to his request, he said,
"Why not THIRTY times in a row?"
Finally, she said, "Enough Okay, if you will have sex with me thirty
times in a row, then I will bring everybody back to perfect health."
Then the young son asked, "Wait, how do I know that thirty times in
a row won't kill you like it did the cow?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

free gas
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sorry girls
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new girlfriend
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Golf Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Four regulars were playing their weekly game of golf, and one
remarked how nice it would be to wake up on Christmas morning, roll
out of bed and without an argument go directly to the golf course,
meet his buddies and play a round. His buddies all chimed in and
said, "Let's do it! We'll make it a priority, figure out a way and
meet here early Christmas morning."

Months later, that special morning arrives, and there they are on
the
golf course. The first guy says, "Boy this game cost me a fortune! I
bought my wife such a diamond ring that she can't take her eyes off
it."

Number 2 guy says, "I spent a ton, too. My wife is at home planning
the cruise I gave her. She was up to her eyeballs in brochures."
Number 3 guy says "Well my wife is at home admiring her new car,
reading the manual."

They all turned to the last guy in the group who is staring at them
like they have lost their minds. "I can't believe you all went to
such expense for this golf game. I slapped my wife on the butt and
said, 'Well babe, Merry Christmas! It's a great morning, is it
Intercourse or Golf Course and she said... "Take a sweater - it's a
bit cool this morning..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Baby Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three pregnant women are sitting in a cafe having
lunch, when one of them says, "I know that I'm going
to have a boy."

The other two women think about that for a moment, and
then one of them says, "OK, how do you know you're
going to have a boy?"

"Well, when the child was conceived," says the first
women, "I was on top. So I'm going to have a boy."

They sit and eat for a few minutes more, and then the
second woman says, "Well, I'm going to have a girl."

"OK," says the first one, "how do you know you're
going to have a girl?"

"Well, when my child was conceived, I was on the bottom.
So I'm going to have a girl."

They sit and eat for a few minutes more, the third
woman obviously getting more and more distressed,
until finally she breaks down into horrible sobbing?

"What's wrong, what's wrong?" the first two women ask
with concern.

The third woman manages to stifle her sobs long enough
to only say one thing.... "I'm going to have a puppy!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bare Lifts - Invisible Bra Support

Bare Lifts is the invisible solution to a naturally perky look. Wear
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cunnilingus is a real tongue-twister.

How can a woman scare a gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.

I don't know why the media is making such a big deal over Bush
having trouble with his Generals. Clinton had trouble with his
privates.

What do you do if your Kotex is on fire?
You tampon it.

A newly-married couple show up at a hotel and ask for the honeymoon
suite. "Do you have reservations?" inquires the receptionist. "Only
one," replies the groom. "She won't take it up the ass."

Most males in a men's room are stand-up guys. (Mike Bull)

A guy from West Virginia passed away and left his entire estate to
his beloved widow, but she can't touch it 'til she's 14.

Have you heard about the new extra-large tampon?
It's called a "Tightwad."

What's the difference between a rooster and a lawyer?
A rooster clucks defiance,

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She looked like such a sweet little old lady, driving
the cute Toyota with a bumper sticker that said, "Grow
your own dope."
How sweet, I thought, must be a medical marijuana
patient.
Then I noticed the rest of her message ... "Plant a man."

My Dad said to my Mother, "You should go bra-less."

She says, "Do you think my breasts are still perky
enough?"

He says, "No, but maybe it'd pull the wrinkles out of
your face."

Many patients call the pathology group where I am
office manager to discuss their medical bills. One
irate woman demanded that I describe every laboratory
test on her statement.

Reluctantly, I complied. Starting with the first test
on her bill, I read, "No. 1, urinalysis."

She interrupted me at once. "I'm a what?"

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com

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Subscribers and Friends

Melva/Equipped For The Task
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Rick w/ A New Year's Prayer
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Who Is Jesus Christ?
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God's Bumper Stickers
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Surfin Surfari

The Mind of Leonardo - The Universal Genius at Work Via Dianne
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Eyewitness to History
http://www.eyewitnesstohistory.com/eyindx.htm

101 Simple Appetizers in 20 Minutes or Less Via Dianne
http://tinyurl.com/3cn4c7

Heavyweight Hall of Fame
http://www.briansbelly.com/halloffame/

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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.

Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:

As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.

Press here to get your copy:

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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

280 Slides - Create & Share Presentations Online Via Dianne
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Cupid's Valentine Midis
http://www.norbert26.com/midi/index.html

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PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
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Animal World

Doggie Zone
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Kitty Korner
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Whale Rescue
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Movie Links

To All Sports Loving Men This Guy Is a Genuis
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Toilet Seat Sign
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Tom Mabe
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Tomato PSA
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Toot Tone
http://www.buffaloschips.com/6259.htm

Topless Wife Training
http://www.buffaloschips.com/62510.htm

Swallowing
http://www.buffaloschips.com/asdsfsd.htm

Swimming
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gerg.htm

szambr
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Telissa
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Texan Gun Control Witness
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Doctor : Face the window, would you? Now stick out your tongue.
Patient : Why do I have to face the window?
Doctor : Because I don't like the man next door.

~~~~

Tara : I think our school is haunted.
Mara : Why do you say that?
Tara : Because the principal is always going on and on about the
school spirit.

~~~~

Sidney : Did you have a good holiday?
Edna : No. It rained every day.
Sidney : Then how did you get that lovely tan?
Edna : That's no tan - that's rust.

~~~~~

Customer : Waiter, what's this fly doing in my ice-cream?
Waiter : Looks like it's learning to ski.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

cheating bitch
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jfkldl;sl.htm

cheerleader2
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cheerleaders
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chess
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cheese burger
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kjfkhjfglkhfg.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BedBug Out - Don't Let the Bedbugs BiteReduce Bedbugs and other
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in as soon as 2 weeks. Rid your home of pests, dust mites and
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quick and without harmful chemicals.

View Web Version

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Not Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt.
His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that
can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.

''Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will
diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only
costs $10." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar
with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the
computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The
computer started making some noise and various lights started
flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on
which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm
water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks."

Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology
was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to
wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together some tap
water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife
and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He
went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the
sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual
noise and printed out the following
message:

"Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has
worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in
a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They
aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your
tennis elbow will never get better."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fushigi - Magic Gravity Ball

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Everyone loves the art of Fushigi.

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The lanky Texas ranch hand was still a virgin at twenty-one, so, on
his first trip to the big city, he decided to visit a brothel and
find out what he'd been missing. Upon securing the address of a
rather exclusive establishment, he soon found himself lying in bed
with an attractive partner. Sensing the lad was somewhat
inexperienced, the professional gently took his hand and placed it
on
the source of her income. "Is this what you're looking for?" she
whispered seductively. "Well, I don't rightly know, ma'am," the
cowboy murmured shyly. "I'm a stranger to these parts."

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn Vol 1954

The Saddest Thing About This Christmas Part One

First the background Val is the youngest member of the pack. Sandi
is the mother figure and Rudy is the father figure. Lately, Rudy is
the dominant parent by far and Val follows Rudy wherever he goes.
Val is the youngest of the four doggies. Val is a healer dog/ Rudy
was wild. He lived in the woods for several years, how many we do
not know. I am certain he lived off of rabbits because when he
'moved' in with us, he still loved to hunt rabbits. I am certain
people fed him scraps along the way and he probably got his share
out of trash cans. He was shot just before he became buddies with
Sandi.

Sandi and Rudy started playing together and became fast friends.

I laid out food for Rudy then a doghouse for him. Slowly, he trusted
me and finally he adopted us. He is the first dog I have ever had
that adopted me, rather than me adopting the dog. He is a great
protector dog and is always working. We spent about 800 dollars on
him to eliminate worms, ticks, fleas, and to fix his jaw to take out
the bullet. He is a great dog, a white Lab. I am certain he would
die for us.

Sandi is the best dog I have ever had in my life. There is no
comparison.

She obeys my every command and yet she has never been to school for
training. She never leaves my side. She was rescued. The vet said
she is a once in a lifetime dog.not just for me, but for them. She
has killed a coyote, an armadillo (no easy task), rabbits, snakes,
opossoms, mice, all the moles we had. She even brought the head of a
deer into the yard and the leg and other parts. She is a huntress
and a killer. She is also a mother. She has carried kittens around
in her mouth and is very gentle.

She sleeps with me (north and south) in the bed, her head next to
mine.

If I am outside, she is my protector. She could be a police dog.
Sandi is a short haired Collie.

Katie.. she is not a part of the pack. She is crazy.funny, does not
obey me at all. She plays jokes on me. I love her because she is
bananas.

She is getting old, but acts young. She loves me as much as she can.

She sleeps under the covers. She gets along with Sandi fine. She
would not hard a fly, she would kill birds as she is an Irish setter
and her bird dog instinct has taken over several times.

Katie and Sandi stay with me in Guthrie. When I go to Caldwell they
go.

When I load the car to come home, they are prancing and ready to go
home to Guthrie. Katie loves Guthrie, Sandi wants to be with Dad.

Val wants to be with Rudy, Rudy wants to be with Diana and the
family.

This whole thing is confusing to Rudy. Sandi stayed in Caldwell for
the longest time until one Sunday she just jumped in the car and
since then she has not regretted nor looked back.

to be continued

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult

*********************************************

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

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Recent Activity:
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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Re-Slim Dunlap

Slimbob Dunlap was one in a million. The outpouring of love for him here in Minneapolis since the news broke is overwhelming. Everyone has a...