Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Since I haven't told you a sea story in a long time here is
one from the archives which we will finish tomorrow.
In order to launch a modern jet in addition to accelerating
it past its stall point , you also normally need thirty knots
of wind across the flight deck and when the weather doesn't
provide it you must move the carrier into the wind and count
on your propulsion to do it. On the older carriers with
eight boilers and 4 70,000 hp. main engines you could do it
with 5 boilers and 2 main engines and enough auxiliary
equipment to keep them running. The rest of the machinery
allowed you redundancy in the event of mechanical failure
or war damage and allows you to do maintenance. I was a
boilermaker at the time and we were doing repairs to the
two boilers in number 2 machinery room. The main engine was
getting steam from number 3 machinery room and they had
taken the chain driven oil pump down to the machine shop to
be repaired. Although it was preferred to have this pump
operating there was two other pumps, one driven by steam
and one electric and everyone was confident there would be
no problems. Murphy had other plans though and number 3
MMR had a casualty that threatened to send water into steam
turbines weighing tons and traveling thousands of rpms. They
did exactly what they were supposed to and closed the
steam valves. With no steam the generators shut down and
there we were going about 25 knots with no oil pressure.
The only way to stop the damage was to stop the propeller
and that required stopping an 80,000 ton ship with only
two of four propellers. With two engines down that was like
stopping a semi with just the front brakes. It took about
four miles to accomplish that.
The two mile stopping distance on a carrier is with all
four main engines doing an emergency astern. The turbine
elements for astern operation are smaller and only put
out 9,000 hp each. Even so when that power is applied
to a propeller that is 21 feet in diameter with five
blades it causes the ship to hop like when you lock your
brakes up on a rough piece of road. As soon as lines
were drained steam was sent back into the two spaces,
electricity from forward generators was connected to
the switchboards and fires were lit in number three
machinery rooms boilers. We were glad for the power because
when you are thirty feet down in the bowels of the ship
in a hot machinery room the temperature climbs to
120 degrees very quickly. We were all in good shape but
the main engine had bearing damage in both the turbine
and reduction gear sections. Bearing metal made of lead and
tin had melted and looked like sponges. The Navy does
not own the main engines, they are leased for 99 years
from GE, Westinghouse, or DeLaval . Even as we got back
underway with the damaged engine shaft locked so it could
not turn a message was being dispatched to the Philippines
requesting General Electric personnel to conduct an
inspection and repair the main engine. We went back to
normal ops limping around with three propellers from
Yankee Station as even though we had stopped bombing
N. Vietnam we were still providing support to the troops
on the ground in S. Vietnam.
The Navy decide that we required two weeks in port to
complete repairs and when parts and repair personnel
arrived from the states we headed to the yards at Subic.
What happens onboard your ship can affect every ship
around you and this was no different. My friend Dave
from Murphy was onboard the USS Midway at the time and
she was loaded up with the usual souvenirs from a WestPac
and ready to head back to the states after along deployment.
They unloaded the motorbikes and stereos and tapestries
and headed back out to Yankee Station to fly our missions
for the time we were in repair. That cruise the Midway
was out on Yankee Station for 208 days which is probably
more than the carrier cruises during the Iraq and Afghan
wars.
In order to make it easier to repair the bearings and
turn the gears the shaft was uncoupled so that it would
not have to turn a 45,000 pound propeller. Finally repairs
close to complete, we headed back to Yankee station with
GE and Yard people onboard and doing the fitting of
the bearings.
The rest of the story tomorrow... buffalo
A couple of newsletters you may enjoy
C's Coupon Place
Like to save money with coupons? Or try a new recipe?
How about getting freebies thru the mail? Recalls,
contests, coupon trains. Well, our group has this and more.
Give us a try, you may be surprised. We do require a membership
questionnaire to be filled out.
To join, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/cscouponplace
And
C's PLACE TOO
A small group where you can post trades, recipes, small items for sale.
To join:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/csplacetoo
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Comfy Control
Comfy Control Harness is a new humane harness that's lightweight and
easily adjustable. It's special design allows for maximum comfort and
safety every time you walk your dog. Comfy Control Harness is designed
to move the pressure away from your dog's neck and on to the shoulders
and back. It will not constrict your dog's breathing so it's perfect for
dogs with short snouts or breathing problems. NO buckles and NO awkward
adjusting! Available in sizes: small, medium, large, and extra-large.
Custom adjusts in seconds
Easy clip on matching 5 foot leash
Open weave design allows air flow
Doesn't constrict breathing
Stylish vest slips right on
TO ORDER
http://buffaloschips.com/comfy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Question Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman is at home when she hears someone knock at the door. She
goes to the door and opens the door to see a man standing there. He
asks the lady 'Do you have a vagina?' She slams the door in disgust.
The next morning she hears a knock at the door and it is the same
man and he asks the same question of the woman 'Do you have a
vagina'? She slams the door again later that night when her husband
gets home she tells him what has happened for the last two days. The
husband tells the wife in a loving and concerned voice, 'Honey I am
taking tomorrow off to be home just in case this guy shows up
again'.
The next morning they hear a knock at the door and both run for the
door. The husband says to the wife in a whispered voice, 'Honey, I'm
going to hide behind the door and listen and if it is the same guy I
want you to answer yes to the question because I want to see where
he is going with it'. She nods yes to her husband and opens the
door. Sure enough the same fellow is standing there and asks the
same question. 'Do you have a vagina'? 'Yes' she says. The man
replies: Good! Would you mind telling your husband to leave my
wife's alone and start using yours?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Show Girl
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30817.htm
Sperm Bank
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30818.htm
Big Daddy
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30819.htm
Best Catch
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30820.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Therapy Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed. "Doc,
you've got to help me. I can't go on like this."
"What's the problem?" the doctor inquired.
"Well, I'm 35 years old and I still have no luck with the ladies. No
matter how hard I try, I just seem to scare them away."
"My friend, this is not a serious problem. You just need to work on
your self-esteem. Each morning, I want you to get up and run to the
bathroom mirror. Tell yourself that you are a good person, a fun
person, an attractive person. But say it with real conviction.
Within
a week you'll have women buzzing all around you."
The man seemed content with this advice and walked out of the office
a bit excited. Three weeks later he returned with the same
downtrodden expression on his face. "Did my advice not work?" asked
the doctor.
"It worked alright. For the past several weeks I've enjoyed some of
the best moments in my life with the most fabulous looking women."
"So, what's your problem?"
"I don't have a problem," the man replied. "My wife does."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Selling Gold Jewelry? Know Its Value Before You Send it!
The Gold911 FREE online Price Your Gold Calculator Tells You How Much
Cash to Expect Before Sending It In
No More Worries About Low-Ball Offers
Learn the Value* of Each Gold Setting
Know Up Front How Much Cash to Expect
*Approximate Value. Final Value Depends Upon Market Price at Time of
Assay
Gold911 Buys Gold of Any Kind and Offers Sellers:
Insurance Protection Up to $1,000
Payment in 24 Hours by Check or Direct Deposit
Satisfaction Guaranteed
See Our Price Your Gold Calculator Now. CLICK HERE
http://buffaloschips.com/gold
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Vegas Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three buddies decided to take their wives on vacation for a week in
Las Vegas. The week flew by, and they all had a great time. After
they returned home, and the men went back to work, they sat around
at break and discussed their vacation. The first guy says, "I don't
think I'll ever do that again! Ever since we got back, my old lady
flings her arms and hollers, "7 come 11" all night, so I haven't had
a wink of sleep!"
The second guy says, "I know what you mean...My old lady played
blackjack the whole time we were there. She slaps the bed all night
and hollers, "Hit me light" or "Hit me hard." So, I haven't had a
wink of sleep either!" The third guy says, "You guys think you have
it bad!
...My old lady played the slot machines the whole time we were
there.
So, I wake up each morning with a sore dick and a butt full of
quarters."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Magic Mesh door cover instantly opens and magically snaps closed behind
you using 18 strategically placed magnets.
Whether you have your hands full or a forgetful family member you can
still let fresh air in and keep those bugs out.
Buy one, get one free! $19.95 - just pay additional $7.95 P&H.
http://buffaloschips.com/magmes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parrot Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pauly comes home with a parrot, and MrsPauly asks, "Is this a male or a
female?" "I dunno," said Pauly, "does it matter?" MrsPauly snapped, "I
just
wanna know." So Pauly says, "Tell you what, I'll take the parrot over
to Maury
and ask him. He's an expert in sexual matters."
Over at Maury's, Pauly asks the sexpert about the parrot's gender.
"Nothing
simpler," says Maury, "I just have to weigh him." And he takes out a set
of
balance scales, hangs the parrot on one hook and puts a 20 kg weight on
the
other. ZIPWHAM! The weight plummets toward the floor, and the parrot is
flipped
to the ceiling. Same thing for the 15 kg weight: ZIPWHAM!, and the
parrot is
thrown to the ceiling. 12kg, 10kg, 8kg...same thing. ZIPWHAM! ZIPWHAM!
When
Maury is about to try the 7 kg weight, the parrot cries: "Enough
already!
You're busting my balls here!"
"It's a male," says Maury, "twenty dollars, please."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Spray White 90 Get Whiter, Brighter Teeth
Spray White 90 is the world's first tooth whitening spray that's
guaranteed to get your teeth nearly 7 shades whiter in just 90 seconds.
Spray White 90 contains hydrogen peroxide. When applied to the teeth,
hydrogen peroxide breaks down into water and Oxygen. As the Oxygen
molecules work their way through the dentinal tubules and into the tooth
surfaces, they attach themselves to stain particles and effectively
break the stains apart. With the stains removed, the teeth become whiter
and brighter.
Try it today and get your teeth whiter and brighter in 90 seconds .
Learn More
http://buffaloschips.com/sprawh
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pirate Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Top Ten Pickup lines used on:
"International Talk Like a Pirate Day"
http://talklikeapirate.com/
10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?
9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?
8. Come on up and see me urchins.
7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.
6. I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon.
5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your
porthole?
4. How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?
3. Ya know, darlin', I'm 97 percent chum free.
2. Well blow me down?
And the number one pickup line for use on
International Talk Like a Pirate Day is .
1. Prepare to be boarded.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The One Stop Snuggie Total Shop
Americas Favorite Blanket with Sleeves!
Weve got every Snuggie ever made:
-Original Snuggie
-Designer Snuggie
-Snuggie for Dogs
-Outdoors Snuggie
-Snuggie for Kids
-Sports Snuggies and More!
Why buy a Snuggie anywhere else?
Order Now!
http://tinyurl.com/2345j9l
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Cactus Cuties
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/V/A_G.html
John w/ Dream
http://heavens-gates.com/50s/dream/
Southbreeze w/Listen To Your Heart
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/ListenToYourHeart.htm
Men Will Be Boys
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/menboys.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Relieve your foot pain with WalkFit Platinum
Walk-fit cups the foot with durable support to relieve discomfort!
Distributes your weight evenly across your foot to help prevent
collapsing, pressure points, stress and rubbing. This reduces painful
burning, bunions, corns, and calluses.
It also eases impact by evenly distributing the force of each step!
Flexes and cushions to help absorb destructive shock waves from
traveling up through your entire body every time your foot hits the
ground!
NEW! Cushions your heel for ultimate comfort! A cushioning gel pad in
the heel provides extra shock absorption and comfort.
NEW! Kills germs and odors! Advanced Nanosilver antibacterial technology
kills germs and odors as you walk. Your feet, shoes and orthotics stay
fresh all day, everyday!
http://buffaloschips.com/wfpl
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
crafty tips & tricks Via Dianne
http://tinyurl.com/3eeswt9
12 Coolest Pieces of Pothole Art - Oddee.com Via Dianne
http://tinyurl.com/3h4w63x
The Great TV Shows Of The 50's 60's via Dianne
http://tinyurl.com/3yumcnp
Balloon Party
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/party.html
Ten Life Tips
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lifetips.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Hello,
We wanted to inform you today that you can now download a program
online that will allow you to watch unlimited television from around
the world right on your PC!
Press Here to watch TV from around the world on your PC:
http://buffaloschips.com/comptv
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Animated Water Reflection Freeware
http://www.xiberpix.com/SqirlzReflect.html
Wine - Free implementation of Windows on Unix Via Wesley
http://www.winehq.org/
openSUSE Via Wesley
http://www.opensuse.org/en/
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
We would like to know if you would be interested in working from
home in your spare time writing short articles for us. You will be
paid $25.00 - $45.00 per hour writing these articles.
We will also pay you $12.00 - $50.00 per hour for posing in blogs,
and up to $450 for each fiction or non fiction story we ask you to
write.
Press here if you are interested:
http://buffaloschips.com/fhwn
All my best,
Freelance Home Writers Network
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Puppy Via Samantha
http://asandboxgreeting.com/puppyct.html
Wild Bear Farm
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wildbearfarm.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Hi,
We would like to show you why you may be "fat" and why you're unable
to lose weight no matter how hard you try.
First off, please always know that it's not your fault...
Press here to see why you're fat:
http://buffaloschips.com/fat
After you see what the problem is, you will see how easy it is to
finally lose the fat that you want to lose.
Thank you!
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Links
Sir Edmund
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81814.htm
Smoke Inhalation
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81815.htm
Sneeze Aivastus
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81816.htm
Sorry Sir no bathing suits in the lobby
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81817.htm
Sorry Officer
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81818.htm
Exam
http://www.buffaloschips.com/34t.htm
Future Engineers
http://www.buffaloschips.com/9o7.htm
Glock Home Protection
http://www.buffaloschips.com/78i6.htm
Gunfighter
http://www.buffaloschips.com/i7664.htm
Guterbike
http://www.buffaloschips.com/u64eh.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shopping Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Things Men SHOULDN'T Say Out Loud In Victoria's Secret:
9) No Thanks. Just Sniffing.
8) I'll be in the dressing room going blind.
7) Mom will love this.
6) Oh the size won't matter. She's inflatable.
5) No need to wrap it up. I'll eat it here.
4) Will you model this for me???
3) The Miracle What??? This is better than world peace!!
2) Forty Five bucks?? You're just gonna end up naked ANYWAY!!
And the number one thing that a man should never, ever say out
loud in Victoria's Secret:
1) Oh, honey, you'll NEVER squeeze your ass into that!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Painting
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30813.htm
Can
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30812.htm
Booty call
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30814.htm
Pantie lock
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30815.htm
Amazon.com
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30816.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tired of paying way too much for your ink and toner?
Then you're in luck, because at ClickInks we're obsessed with saving you
money! With our buy 2, get 1 free offer on select cartridges, free
shipping on orders over $49, and a 100% money back guarantee you've got
nothing to lose and EVERYTHING to gain!
Get an extra 10% off by entering "SAVINGS10" at checkout!
Just visit http://buffaloschips.com/clink
to start saving!
We're looking forward to hearing from you!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A shiftless young fellow of Kent
Had his wife fuck the landlord for rent.
But as she grew older,
The landlord grew colder,
And now they live out in a tent.
Your job this week hasn't borne fruit?
Use this modern technique to earn loot:
Pick a rich guy who's famous,
Allege something heinous,
And file a ten-million-buck suit.
An elderly man was depressed
His sex life was over, he guessed
Then two girls in their teens
Made him cream in his jeans
As he fondled each tender young breast
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Access To A Computer?
Work From The Comfort Of Your Home
up to $1,450 /mo Part Time
up to $5,600 /mo Full Time
23 People Needed Immediately!
You will earn as you learn while being trained to use the internet, the
mail and the phone from home to build your business. We are NOT a
company based on friends and family, door-to-door sales or
telemarketing. In fact we are not looking for sales people and there
will be no need to meet people.
We have been in business for over 28 years; established in many
countries and we will train you from your home to be successful, working
around your schedule.
We have one-on-one personal mentoring for each new person, along with
live conference telephone training programs to ensure your continued
success.
Serious people with a strong desire are earning over 6 figures a year.
Bonuses & Paid Vacations.
Visit Here to GET STARTED!
http://buffaloschips.com/compac
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Although I knew our commanding officer hated doling out weekend passes,
I thought I had a good reason.
"My wife is pregnant and I want to be with her," I told the C.O. Much
to my surprise he said, "Permission granted."
Inspired by my success, a fellow soldier also requested a weekend pass.
His wife wasn't pregnant, so when the C.O. asked why he should grant him
permission. My friend responded, "My wife is getting pregnant this
weekend, and I want to be with her."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Access To A Computer?
Work From The Comfort Of Your Home
up to $1,450 /mo Part Time
up to $5,600 /mo Full Time
23 People Needed Immediately!
You will earn as you learn while being trained to use the internet, the
mail and the phone from home to build your business. We are NOT a
company based on friends and family, door-to-door sales or
telemarketing. In fact we are not looking for sales people and there
will be no need to meet people.
We have been in business for over 28 years; established in many
countries and we will train you from your home to be successful, working
around your schedule.
We have one-on-one personal mentoring for each new person, along with
live conference telephone training programs to ensure your continued
success.
Serious people with a strong desire are earning over 6 figures a year.
Bonuses & Paid Vacations.
Visit Here to GET STARTED!
http://buffaloschips.com/compac
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2064
Handles
Katie: We need a handle.
Val: What are you talking about?
Katie: Father has many handles, he is known
as Spirit Warrior to the Navajoes, as the Laredo
Kid to one biker group, the Dude to another. He
was known as Hardrock when wrestling or Rock.
Sandi: I call him Daddy.
Rudy: You guys can call me King.
Boo!
Katie: You are a white feller, so I can see you being
called Whitey.
Val: Yeah, Katie and you could be called Red.
Sandi: Val you could be called Blackie.
Katie: We would call you Slug Sandi.
Ka-pow!
Rudy: LOL! Good name Katie!
Katie: Ow!
The herd
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
No comments:
Post a Comment