Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
My sister, Cathy Aday, passed away last night as a result of
complications from gastric bypass surgery. From what Mary
told me it was an infection from a strangulated intestine that
caused organ shutdown and Cathy had ignored the pain from
it till it was too late. Cathy was a year younger than me and she
had talked often of the possibility of moving back north when
she retired to get away from the heat of Texas but that isn't going
to happen now. Though we didn't see each other often, her work
and the distance keeping us from visiting more often than
weddings and funerals, the room filled with warmth when she
walked in and after a few seconds it was like we had never been
apart. She is survived by her husband Jerry and daughter Crystal.
Cathy will be missed by her family, friends, and co-workers
Enjoy the chips...buffalo
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Name Chips
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Three guys are walking down the beach ...when they see this
beautiful woman laying naked on the beach.
Well, the first guy goes over to her and starts making love to her,
when she says "What will we name the child?"
The guy freaks and runs away.
So the second guy goes over to her and starts 'doing his thing' when
she says "What will we name the child?" He freaks out also and runs
away.
The third guy has been watching all this. So he puts on a condom
and goes to do his thing. When she says "What will we name the
child?"
He ignores her and keeps on going. She keeps asking but he keeps
going.
Finally he finishes and pulls off the condom, ties a knot in the end
of the rubber and throws it in the ocean.
He turns to the girl and says, "If he gets out of that, we'll call
him Houdini."
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
excuse me
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l071.html
memory lane
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l072.html
not one of mine
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l073.html
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Shakespeare Chips
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While Shakespeare was a very wise man. You'd never know it because
he used such fancy-schmancy words. Now our crack team of cunning
linguists has translated a number of Shakespeare's quotes into
modern day English.
It's about time we were all able to enjoy the wit and wisdom of this
oddly groomed scribe.
Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin, as self-neglecting.
Translation: We should masturbate more.
The weakest kind of fruit drops earliest to the ground.
Translation: Only fight sissies.
Great floods have flown from simple sources.
Translation: Never have sex with your girlfriend during her period.
The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.
Translation: Let's kill all the lawyers. Really.
Be to yourself as you would to your friend.
Translation: It's OK to sleep with your sister because your friend
sure would.
'Tis better to be brief than tedious.
Translation: Nooners rock.
Is the jay more precious than the lark because his feathers are more
beautiful?
Translation: Good-looking strippers get bigger tips.
Have patience, and endure.
Translation: Use one of those numbing creams if you have to. Or try
wearing five condoms at once.
I can express no kinder sign of love than this kind kiss.
Translation: First base is better than striking out altogether.
Men at some time are masters of their fate.
Translation: Get married and you're screwed.
They that thrive well take counsel of their friends.
Translation: If your drinking buddies say she's really a man, listen
to them.
That man that hath a tongue, I say, is no man, if with his tongue he
cannot win a woman.
Translation: If you're desperate to impress her, you can always
resort to oral sex.
O, flatter me, for love delights in praises.
Translation: Honesty isn't necessarily the best policy when it comes
to penis size.
The course of true love never did run smooth.
Translation: When dumping someone, always wear a protective cup.
I'll note you in my book of memory.
Translation: Don't expect me to call the day after.
Alas, poor world, what treasure hast thou lost.
Translation: Lap dances have actually been outlawed in some parts of
the country.
Love's gentle spring doth always fresh remain.
Translation: With a little help from our friends at Massengill, that
is.
Praising what is lost, makes the remembrance dear.
Translation: When you're telling your buddies about your conquests,
exaggerate. A lot.
My endeavors have ever come too short of my desires.
Translation: You've never had twins and you never will. Get over
it.
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Viagra Chips
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A man was on holiday in the Caribbean and, liking the
warm tropical weather, settled down for a day's
sunbathing. He fell asleep, and after a whole day his
legs became sunburned beyond belief.
He could hardly stand the pain.
He decided to go to the local doctor for treatment.
The doctor looked at his lobster colored legs and shook
his head. "You must realize that this is only a small
village medical facility," he explained.
"I've really got nothing at all to help you. However,
try taking this just before bedtime..." The doctor gave
him one tablet of Viagra.
Puzzled, the man asked, "I've got acute sunburn ...
what's a Viagra tablet going to do?"
"Not a thing for the sunburn," the doctor replied, "but
it will keep the sheets off your legs."
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Shipwreck Chips
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A man was shipwrecked on a remote island. Although he had plenty
of food and water, there was nothing for him to do except play
with himself. After many years, even that became so monotonous
that he couldn't even get an erection. Now, completely without
any happiness, his sanity began to slip away.
One morning, as he is lying on the beach, he thinks he sees a
ship in the distance. He quickly starts a fire, then throws wet
seaweed on top until smoke is billowing high in the air. The
ship starts to come his way!
He gets all excited and thinks, "Finally! I'm going to be saved!
The first thing I want is to take a long, hot shower. Then
they're going to give me some clothes and I'm going to go
upstairs and have a nice dinner. I will find a nice lady to
dance with, then I will take to her cabin and we can kiss and
I can fondle her body. She'll start to take off her clothes and
she'll be wearing red silk panties!"
At this, he gets an erection. He slips his hand into his
shorts, grabs his pecker, and yells, "Ha Ha Ha!! I fooled you!
I lied about the ship!"
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Parking Chips
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What Should Sex and Parking Spaces have in common:
You should never have to wait to find one.
You should be able to slide right into one.
Spaces in the front are always the best.
When there are no spaces in front, spaces in the rear are just fine.
It makes you jealous when you see someone else is double-parked.
Your space should still be open and waiting when you get back.
People are willing to wait in line for the good spaces.
Spaces with short time limits are annoying and never satisfying.
We're all looking for the free space with the "unlimited" time
limit.
A house isn't a home without a parking space.
Some people are uncomfortable with a space in the rear, just do it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/The Love of God
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Insp/Lov.html
BROTHER BOB'S POEMS OF THE WEEK
http://ministry-webs.com/ministry/brotherbob/index.html
carolyn w/ My Wish Came True ~ Elvis
http://carolynspreciousmemories.com/elvis/mywishcametrue.html
John w/ Those Fabulous 50s
http://heavens-gates.com/50s/myprayer/
The Wild Ones!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wildones.html
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Surfin Surfari
Grab That Gopher
http://caddyshackthemovie.warnerbros.com/cmp/grab.htm
What's That Bug?
http://www.whatsthatbug.com/
Pricing Garage Sale Items
http://www.stretcher.com/stories/09/09apr20a.cfm
Humor In Politics 6
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/politics6.html
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Hello,
We wanted to inform you today that you can now download a program
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the world right on your PC!
Press Here to watch TV from around the world on your PC:
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
HelpWithPCS.com
http://www.helpwithpcs.com/
Weather anywhere in the states.
http://www.wsfa.com/Global/link.asp?L=306358
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We would like to know if you would be interested in working from
home in your spare time writing short articles for us. You will be
paid $25.00 - $45.00 per hour writing these articles.
We will also pay you $12.00 - $50.00 per hour for posing in blogs,
and up to $450 for each fiction or non fiction story we ask you to
write.
Press here if you are interested:
http://buffaloschips.com/fhwn
All my best,
Freelance Home Writers Network
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.standifird.net/wwwdachs/
Jasmine The Greyhound
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/jasmine.html
A Mother Horse's Love!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/motherslove2.html
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Hi,
We would like to show you why you may be "fat" and why you're unable
to lose weight no matter how hard you try.
First off, please always know that it's not your fault...
Press here to see why you're fat:
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After you see what the problem is, you will see how easy it is to
finally lose the fat that you want to lose.
Thank you!
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Movie Links
Strip Poker
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81824.htm
Sumsing Turbo 3000
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81825.htm
Sure Lock
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81826.htm
Swan Song
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81827.htm
Talent
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81828.htm
Helicopter
http://www.buffaloschips.com/09i.htm
Hilarious Prank
http://www.buffaloschips.com/5t6r.htm
Hombres
http://www.buffaloschips.com/juyg.htm
Hot Dog
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ytrf.htm
How To Blow Away A Deer
http://www.buffaloschips.com/5467.htm
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Short Chips
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A fellow went to a Halloween costume party dressed in only a grass
skirt. The theme of the party was "My Favorite Song" and attendees were
supposed to dress as that song title. When the judging was set to begin,
the fellow realized that the woman in line next to him was nude, and
quite attractive. The judges asked the naked lady what song her
"costume" represented. She smiled coyly, and said 'Just As I Am.' The
judges then asked the fellow in the grass skirt which song his costume
depicted, and he replied, "It was going to be 'Little Grass Shack in
Hawaii', but since that naked broad showed up, I changed it to 'Coming
Through The Rye!'"
The meanest man in the world is the guy who didn't tell his wife he was
sterile until she got pregnant.
"So he asked, 'Would you be interested in a threesome?'" "OH, NO! What
did you tell him?" "I said, "I might. 'Whom did you have in mind?' He
replied, 'Your pretty little friend Jill!' I said, 'That's too bad
because I was thinking more along the lines of your gorgeous, hunky
friend Jerry, who I know for a fact has 10 and a half inches to offer!'"
Stan Kegel
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Toon Chips
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PMS Meaning
http://www.buffaloschips.com/31806.htm
Vampire Community
http://www.buffaloschips.com/31807.htm
One Way To Look At Things
http://www.buffaloschips.com/31808.htm
Dead Wood
http://www.buffaloschips.com/31809.htm
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Limerick Chips
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There once was a pervert named Weiner
Who had a perverted demeanor
Forced from the Hill
For acting like Bill
Now Congress is one weiner leaner
Rose
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Parting Chips
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An Aussie was sitting at a bar in Sydney when this huge, burly American
guy
walks in. As he passes the Aussie, he hits him on the neck knocking him
to
the floor. The big, burly Yank says,"That's a karate chop from Korea."
Well, the Aussie gets back on his barstool and resumes drinking his
beer.
The burly Yank then gets up to go to the bathroom and, as he walks by
the
Aussie, he hits him on the other side of the neck and knocks him to the
floor. "That's a judo chop from Japan", he says.
The Aussie decides he's had enough and leaves. A half hour later he
comes
back and sees the burly Yank guy sitting at the bar. He walks up behind
him
and smacks him on the head, knocking him out.
The Aussie says to the bartender, "When he wakes up mate, tell him that
was
a fucking crowbar from Bunnings."
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2062
Swimming
Rudy: Do what?
Diana: Yes, we can go swimming at the local swimming pool.
Katie: I prefer the lake.
Sandi: There is no lake within 20 miles.
Katie: Ack!
Val: It will be okay.
BJ: Come on guys, just be sure you have trunks on.
Katie is wearing her bottoms with her 4 bikini tops.
Sandi is wearing her 1900 style bathing suit and Val is
wearing a 1950 sytle girl suit. Rudy has a muscle t-shirt
and trunks.
At the pool everyone jumps in and soon all is well.
Later.....
Rudy: Look a shark!
Sure enough a fin is swimming back and forth, Diana
and BJ climb out of the pool followed by Sandi, Rudy and Val.
Diana: What happened to Katie?
Soon Katie emerges with a fin strapped around her back.
Katie: What's everyone looking at? This fin is supposed to
give me more speed in the water.
The herd
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Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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