[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner



 


THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

 

Sweet memories are the paradise of the mind.

 

 


Okay, so it's Mothers Day and you've run out of creative, sweet ideas!
Don't worry, we can help! Take Mom on her very own $500 Shopping Spree for FREE!
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================

 

Don't wait to get the latest styles in footwear and apparel! Be a Trend Setter!
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GOOD AFTERNOON POSTMAN FANS!
Last night we went through a familiar drill. its her day off today and we always
have this same conversaion. "What time do you want to get up in the morning?"
That is a silly
thing to ask a guy like me. Here I am, nothing to do in particular and all day to
do it. And she wants to know what time I wanna get up? Usually I get up when my
eyeballs say its time. or when she tells me it is time. Wonder why every morning
like this requires the same question? oh well.
And then I wake up before her anyways. Go figger. It was about 930am this morning.
I'd been awake about an hour and she was still snoozing. But I did find a
good way of getting her
out of bed, I got Turk the dog out of the cage and let him go upstairs and wake her
up instead of me:). That way she can get mad at the dog instead of me.heheheh
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

 


________________

THE COMICS

how thoughtful
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y051.html

what's going on?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y052.html

fire plan
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y053.html

dishonest
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y054.html

the fairy says
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y055.html

recession
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y056.html

hearbeat
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y057.html

a little guilty
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y058.html

you think she is upset?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y059.html

alligator lagoon
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y060.html
___________

 

 

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

how rednecks play golf
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5354.html

facebook manners
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5355.html

everybody loves Raymond
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5356.html

mow the lawn
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5357.html

is dat me, mah?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5358.html

playing guitar
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5359.html

congugal visits
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5360.html

throw it away
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5361.html

the modern day zeppelin
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5362.html


Mr. Clemens was vacationing on a riverboat casino on the Mississippi with his wife.
By the second day, they were already fighting.
"Your dresses are too tight," he screamed. "You look like a tramp!"
"Oh," she replied, "You want to see me in something long and flowing? If you find
something long and flowing, let me know and I'll get in it."
So he pushed her into the river.
__________

After the wealthiest man in the world passed away at a ripe old age, he was mourned
on the front pages of newspapers throughout the world. 
On a mid-Manhattan street corner a short, bespectacled fellow in a rather worn
gray-flannel suit seemed particularly broken up by the news.  He clutched the paper
to his chest and cried unabashedly, "He's  dead! He's dead!"  "There, there,"
said the news dealer, trying his best to console him. "You mustn't carry on like
that, sir. We've all got to go sometime. He wasn't related to you, was he?"  "No,"
sobbed the man. "That's just it!"
______________

The Chief Rabbi of Israel and the Pope are in a meeting in Rome. The
Rabbi notices an unusally fancy phone on a side table in the Pope's
private chambers. "What is that phone for?" he asks the pontiff.
"It's my direct line to the Lord." The Rabbi is skeptical, and the Pope
notices. The Holy Father insists the Rabbi try it out, and, indeed, he
is connected to the Lord. The Rabbi holds a lengthy discussion with Him.
After hanging up the Rabbi says, "Thank you very much. This is great!
But listen, I want to pay for my phone charges." The Pope, of course,
Refuses, but the Rabbi is steadfast and finally, the pontiff gives in.
He checks the counter on the phone and says, "All right! The charges
were 100,000 Lira" ($56). The Chief Rabbi gladly hands over the payment.
A few months later, the Pope is in Jerusalem on an official visit. In
The the Chief Rabbi's chambers, he sees a phone identical to his and
learns it is also is a direct line to the Lord. The Pope remembers he
has an urgent matter that requires divine consultation and asks if he
Can use the Rabbi's phone. The Rabbi gladly agrees, hands him the phone,
and the Pope chats away.
After hanging up, the Pope offers to pay for the phone charges. Of
course, the Chief Rabbi refuses to accept payment. After the Pope
insists, the Rabbi relents and looks on the phone counter.Shekel 50"
($0.42).
The Pope looks surprised, "Why so cheap?"
The Rabbi smiles, "Local call."
___________

Q. Did You Hear About The Husband That Broke His Leg At The Golf Course?
A. He Fell Off The Ball Washer.

Q. Did You Hear About The Husband That Broke His Neck Raking Leaves?
A. He Fell Out Of The Tree.

Q. Did You Hear About The Husband That Called His Girlfriend Tapioca
Because She Could Be Made In A Minute?

Q. Did You Hear About The Husband That Called His Girlfriends
'Margarine Legs', Because They Spread So Easily?
_____________

A husband and wife were out golfing together one day when they
came upon a tough par 4 hole. The husband hooked his drive deep
into the woods and proclaimed that he would have to chip out.
Then the wife said, "Maybe not, dear! Do you see that barn over
there? If I open the doors on both sides, I do believe you could
hit it right through and reach the green."
So the husband agrees to give it a try, but when he hits the ball
it goes straight through the first doors of the barn, hits the
crossbeam, ricochets back and hits his wife square in the head,
killing her stone dead.
Well, about a year goes by and the man is golfing with a friend.
He finds himself on the same hole, with the same results: a hook
deep in the woods. He is all set to chip out when his friend runs
up to him and says, "Wait! Do you see that barn over there? If I
open the doors on both sides, I think you can still reach the
green."
"No way," replies the man, "I tried that last year and got a 7."
___________

SYDESJOKES LIST

Men Are Like Coffee
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001564.html

Indian Traffic
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001565.html
__________

FUN PAGES from Lorraine

Monster Truck Maniac
http://tinyurl.com/cxu2us

Shooter
http://tinyurl.com/deb5fj

Warlords Heroes
http://tinyurl.com/b7os84
_____________

BUFFALO Bill

Darwin Awards Rejects
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72225.htm

Fastest Gun Ever
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72226.htm

Golf
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72227.htm
__________

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman



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