THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
"An education isn't how much you have committed to memory, or
even how much you know. It's being able to differentiate between
what you know and what you don't."
~Anatole France
===========================
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
It is a difficult morning. Some days my breathing is better than others.
Today just happens to be "one of those day". I almost decided I was
not going to do an issue. But I managed to put a few chuckles together.
Its unfortunate too, because today is a beautiful, warm day, lots of
sunshine. Would be great for a ride on the cycle if I felt up to it.
I don't think that is gonna happen. Its getting a little harder every
day to do an issue. So if you miss one now and then, don't be alarmed.
I'll do them as I can.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
================
THE COMICS
don't ever run out
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y081.html
cats revenge
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y082.html
the original happy meal
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y083.html
the whistle
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y084.html
condom ettique
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y085.html
always the same
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y086.html
surfing
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y087.html
time
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y088.html
in a moment
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y089.html
disaster
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y090.html
__________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Pete and Buelah May
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5386.html
cute old couple on the piano
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5387.html
blazing saddles, fartin cowboys
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5388.html
the most whipped man in the world
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5389.html
Dr. Pepper
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5390.html
busted
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5391.html
early one morning
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5392.html
from inside a aircraft carrier fighter
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5393.html
one snowy day
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5394.html
thats gotta hurt
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5394.html
_____________
It's Career Day at school and the teacher is having the students stand up,
state their parents' occupation, and then spell it.
Davie stands up and says, "My dad's a doctor. And that's D O C T O R. Doctor."
"Very good," the teacher says to Davie. "Mike?"
Mike stands up. "My mom's a lawyer. L A W Y E R. Lawyer."
"Excellent. Bruce?"
Bruce gets up and says, "Uhh, my daddy, he be one of dem 'sheet metal workers.
Dat's S H I . . . " "Ummm, no, Bruce," the teacher corrects, "That's not the
way you spell it. Try it again."
"Uhhh, 'Sheet Metal Worker.' S H I . . . "
"Tell you what, Bruce, why don't you go up to the board and spell it out up
there. Little Kevin, your turn."
Little Kevin watches Bruce shuffle off to the blackboard. "Well, my dad's a
bookie and I can't spell that. But I can give you two to one odds that Bruce
spells 'shit' when he gets up to the blackboard."
_______________
Max sat at the bar totally dejected. The bartender served him his second
drink and said, "What's wrong pal?" "I'll never understand women." Max said.
"The other night my wife threw me a birthday party. She told me that later
on, as her gift to me, I could do with her whatever I wanted." "Wow!" said
the bartender. "But why so unhappy? That sounds like quite a gift to me."
"Well, " Max went on, "I thought about it and sent her home to her Mother.
Now she won't even speak to me."
________________
During a tour of Boston, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the Cape
for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the beach in the Pope-Mobile
when there was a frantic commotion just off shore. A helpless man, wearing
a pin-striped Yankees jersey, was struggling frantically to free himself
from the jaws of a 25-foot shark. As the Pope watched, horrified, a speedboat
came racing up with three men wearing Red Sox jerseys. One quickly fired a
harpoon into the shark's side. The other two reached out and pulled the bleeding,
semiconscious Yankee fan from the water. Then using long clubs, the three beat
the shark to death and hauled it, too, into the boat.
Immediately, the Pope shouted and summoned them to the beach. "I give you my
blessing for your brave actions," he said. "I have been told about there
being bad blood between Sox and Yankee fans but now I have seen with my own
eyes that this is not true." As the Pope drove off, the harpooner asked his
buddies "Who was that?" "It was the Pope", one replied. "He is in direct contact
with God and has access to all of God's wisdom."
"Well," the harpooner said, "he may have access to God's wisdom, but he doesn't
know jack about shark fishing. Is the bait holding up O.K., or do we need to get
another one?"
_____________
Your girlfriend is ugly when...
(1) She looks out the window and gets arrested for indecent exposure.
(2) As a baby, she had to be breast-fed by the family dog.
(3) Even mosquitoes stay away from her.
(4) She startles the animals at the zoo.
(5) On Halloween, she has to trick or treat over the phone.
(6) She makes onions cry.
(7) Her butt looks like two pigs fighting over a box of milk duds.
(8) Her armpits look like she has Don King in a headlock.
(9) The plastic surgeon wanted to add a tail.
(10) When she was born, the doctor slapped her mother.
______________
Many years ago a man was traveling through the mountains of
Switzerland. Nightfall was rapidly approaching and he had nowhere
to sleep. He went up to a farmhouse and asked the farmer if he
could spend the night. The farmer told him that he could sleep in the barn.
As the story goes, the farmer's daughter came down from upstairs and
asked her father, "Who is that man going into the barn?"
"That's some fellow traveling through," said the farmer. "He needs a
place to stay for the night, so I said he could sleep in the barn."
The daughter said, "Perhaps he is hungry." So she prepared him a plate
of food and took it out to the barn.
About an hour later, the daughter returned. Her clothing disheveled and
straw in her hair. Straight up to bed she went.
The farmer's wife was very observant. She then suggested that perhaps
the man was thirsty. So she fetched a bottle of wine, took it out to
the barn, and she too did not return for an hour.
Her clothing was askew, her blouse buttoned incorrectly and her hair
all messed up. She also headed straight to bed.
The next morning at sunrise the man in the barn got up and continued on
his journey, waving to the farmer as he left.
When the daughter awoke and learned that the visitor was gone, she
broke into tears. "How could he leave without even saying goodbye," she cried.
"We made such passionate love last night !"
"What ?" shouted the father as he angrily ran out of the house looking
for the man, who by now was halfway up the mountain.
The farmer screamed up at him, " I'm going to get you ! You had sex
with my daughter ! "
The man looked back down from the mountainside, cupped his hand next to
his mouth, and yelled out,
" LAIDTHEOLADEETOO "
____________
A fellow is walking into a hospital and sees two doctors down on their
hands and knees in one of the flower beds. He goes over and says,
"Can I help? Have you lost something?"
"No," says one of the doctors. "We're about to do a heart transplant on
a lawyer and we're looking for a suitable stone."
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
Zombie Erik
http://snipurl.com/ggxyo
Age of War
http://tinyurl.com/acp62r
Superhero Name
http://tinyurl.com/caohw4
________________
SYDESJOKES LIST
No Pets Allowed
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001568.html
Interesting USB Stick
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001569.html
______________
BUFFALO Bill
Sorry Officer
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81818.htm
Exam
http://www.buffaloschips.com/34t.htm
Future Engineers
http://www.buffaloschips.com/9o7.htm
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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