Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
48 degrees, let's break out the shorts and head for the beach. It is
even supposed to get to 60 this week, so I guess spring is
here to stay. I would barbecue tonight but just the top part of the
grill is sticking out of the snow by the house along with my McCain
and Palin signs. Guess I can take those down as I doubt they will
run together in 2012.
I got awoken this morning by one of those calls where there is
no one there. They usually proceed a telemarketer call or a
collection agency and a few hours later the phone again. I
checked the caller ID and it said caller unknown and the woman
on the line launched into a spiel regarding money for a leukemia
charity. People who are calling from legitimate sources shouldn't
have to block their phone numbers and she was still talking as I
hung the phone up on her.
Enjoy the chips and have a great day..... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A 16 year daughter shows up in the house really late after
her first date. Her angry mother asks her where the hell
she's been all night.
"Mom, I think I am in love!"
"What do you mean, it was your first date with this guy!"
"Yeah, but I sucked his dick and then he fucked me in the
ass."
"That's not love, my little one, that's lust. When you first get
fucked in the ass and then suck his dick.... that's love!"
A blonde goes over to her friends' house wearing a
T.G.I.F. tee-shirt.
"Why are you wearing a 'Thank God it's Friday' tee-
shirt on Monday?"
"Oh shit!" the blonde says, "I thought it meant
'Tits Go In Front'!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Nudist Colony
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Piggy Models
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<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Good Wifes Guide
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<a href=" http://www.buffalos
And God Said
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Andersen Partner http://www.sydesjok
Angels
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toast Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A hotel holds three weddings on the same day and at the end of the
night the 3 grooms meet up at the bar to discuss the days events
over a couple of night-caps. One questions the other two, "look it's
our wedding night and I was wondering how many times are we expected
to...um... you know....do it!" The other two look blankly at him,
then they all delve into a conversation about whether the usual once
is enough, or should they go for twice, as it's a special occasion!
Anyway they decide to retire to their respective wives and see how
the night goes, with the idea that over breakfast they'll discuss
what went on.
Suddenly one of the grooms pipes up, "Hold on fellas we can't
discuss our first night marital goings on over the breakfast table
with our wives sat with us." "No you're right, what we'll do then,
for every piece of toast you order with your breakfast, that's how
many times you did it" offers another groom. They all decide it's an
excellent idea and depart.
The next day in the hotel breakfast parlor they're all looking a bit
disheveled and the wives have the hairstyle known as the 'Just
Shagged Look'. The waitress comes up to the first groom to take his
order, "Yes I'll have the full English breakfast with THREE pieces
of toast please". The other two grooms smile at him and raise a
glass of fresh orange in a toast to his prowess.
The waitress moves to the second couple, and the groom orders, "I
shall also have the full English breakfast but could I have FOUR
pieces of toast" The other two grooms turn making pistols from their
fingers and shoot the FOUR shooter groom.
The waitress gets to the last groom "I TOO shall have the FULL
English breakfast please, yet I shall have,.." he takes a deep
breath and surveys the room, "SEVEN, yes SEVEN PIECES OF TOAST" he
calls for everyone's benefit whilst giving a big cheesy grin to his
two wedding mates, who stare at him rubbing their privates thinking
how raw their friend must be. "Seven pieces of toast sir?" queries
the waitress "why that's an awful lot" "Yes indeed young lady, seven
pieces of toast it is." She writes down his order then turns away,
but before she leaves the seven times a night groom calls after her
again. "And by the way love, make two of them brown!!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Earth 4 Energy - Renewable Energy Solutions - Wind And Solar Power!
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
French Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One cold December day, a French tourist in Scotland decided to find
out if the natives were as tight as he had heard. He stopped at a
farm cottage, told the farmer's wife he was freezing to death, and
was invited to come in and warm himself at the hearth. Once inside
the house, he complained of being thirsty. The woman handed him an
enormous white crockery mug filled with milk. After taking a big
swig, the guest exclaimed, "This is sweet and fresh ... you are most
generous!" She replied modestly, "It's nothing. My family wouldn't
drink that milk because we found a dead rat in it." Sick to his
stomach, the Frenchman clapped both hands over his mouth, allowing
the huge mug to fall to the floor and shatter on the stone floor.
The Scotswoman grabbed her broom, raised it high in the air, brought
it down on the visitor's head, and hollered, "Get out, you
ungrateful pig! I take you in my home, I let you share my fire, I
give you milk to drink ... and now you repay my kindness by breaking
the children's potty chair!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Condom Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
50 Dumb uses for used condoms...
1) Bicycle handle grips.
2) French tickler animals.
3) Shower caps for people with tiny heads.
4) Put one on a lightbulb for mood lighting.
5) Fill one with helium and tie a note to it.
6) Get 1000 and make a submarine.
7) Put one over the showerhead to surprise Dad.
8) Put 'em on your cat's feet to keep it from climbing the curtains.
9) Blow a bunch up and tie them to the cars outside a wedding.
10) Put one on your nose and be Bobo the clown.
11) Water wings for those non-swimmers.
12) Use 500 of them to spell out "We Want Women!!" on your house.
13) Jello molds.
14) Finger puppets.
15) A wind sock.
16) Use as a bobber when fishing.
17) Put them on soda cans to keep the fizz in when you're not
drinking it.
18) Practical joke: Put one on an exhaust pipe.
19) Suspenders.
20) Recycle as a Burger King ketchup baggie. (or would mayonnaise
be better?)
21) Small animal muzzle.
22) Put them on your fingers & play proctologist.
23) Put them on your toes to make swimfins.
24) Draw eyeballs on them and make funny glasses.
25) Automatic door closing devices.
26) Have 'water' balloon fights.
27) Glue a bunch together and use to replace silicon breast
implants.
28) Freeze them for an all- natural popsicle.
29) Glue several together and sell as a "Stretch Man" toy.
30) Use for a Xmas stocking stuffings for those that screwed you.
31) Ear/nose plugs.
32) Use 365 of them to make into a tire, and call it a "Good Year".
33) Replace those old "Dr. Scholls" shoe cushions.
34) Feed them to your pet iguana, Clyde.
35) Paint scales on them & put them in a fishtank.
36) "I challenge you to a duel!"
37) Drain plugs.
38) Put them in with your tax return.
39) Go see "Saturday Night Fever" and throw them at the screen.
40) Punching bags.
41) Hang them on the blades of a ceiling fan.
42) Send 69 of them to your ex-girlfriend.
43) Novelty key rings.
44) Hang them all around your windshield and be a chicano.
45) Spell "Happy Birthday" on a cake.
46) Break out your paints and make wax fruit.
47) Glue them on your nipples and try to swing them in opposite
directions.
48) Make a patch work "water" bed.
49) Put your money in one. Nobody will steal it!
50) Stick one on the bridge of your nose and run around saying
"Gobble Gobble".
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Breast Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day this fellow noticed that a new couple had moved into the
house next door. He was also quick to notice that the woman liked to
sunbathe in the back yard, usually in a skimpy bikini that showed
off a magnificent pair of breasts. He made it a point to water and
trim his lawn as much as possible, hoping for yet another look.
Finally, he could stand it no more. Walking to the front door of the
new neighbor's house, he knocked and waited. The husband, a large,
burly man, opened the door. "Excuse me," the man stammered, "But I
couldn't help but notice how beautiful your wife is." "Yeah? So?"
his hulking neighbor replied. "Well, in particular, I am really
struck by how beautiful her breasts are. I would gladly pay you ten
thousand dollars if I could kiss those breasts." The burly gorilla
is about to deck our poor guy when his wife appears and stops him.
She pulls him inside and they discuss the offer for a few moments.
Finally, they return and ask our friend to step inside.
"OK," the husband says gruffly, "For ten thousand dollars you can
kiss my wife's breasts." At this the wife unbuttons her blouse, and
the twin objects of desire hang free at last. Our man takes one in
each hand, and proceeds to rub his face against them in total
ecstasy. This goes on for several minutes, until the husband gets
annoyed. "Well, come on already, kiss 'em!" he growls. "I can't,"
replies our awe-struck man, still nuzzling away. "Why not?" demands
the husband, getting really angry now. "I don't have ten thousand
dollars."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Electricity4Gas - Electric Car Conversion Manual.
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Let me ask you this question? Why don't you have an electric car
yet? Is it because you think it's too expensive?
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Breastfeeding Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
TOP 10 SIGNS THAT YOUR SON HAS GROWN TOO OLD
FOR BREAST FEEDING
10. He can open your blouse by himself.
9. While suckling at one breast, he caresses the other.
8. He has developed a bad habit of flicking his tongue.
7. He keeps slipping dollar bills in your belt.
6. He uses your milk as creamer for his coffee.
5. Your birth control pills interfere with his acne medicine.
4. After each feeding, he has a smoke.
3. He frequently invites his friends over for dinner.
2. You feel an uncontrollable urge to listen to Dueling Banjos.
1. Beard abrasions on areola.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Grandmas Garden
http://silverandgol
WWI Human Art
http://www.shangral
HOW GREAT THOU ART
http://www.openmyey
Maria
http://www.poetryby
*+*+*+*+*+*+
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Press below to launch the Diagnostics Test download now:
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
Mustard Museum
http://www.mustardm
Titanic History
http://www.encyclop
Rock , Paper , Scissors On - Line Via Wesley
http://roshambo.
Leo the Lion (MGM) Via Wesley
http://en.wikipedia
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv) Via Wesley
Optimize Your Web Connection With TCP Optimizer (Windows)
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Find Open Source Alternative to Commercial Software
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Convert Word, Excel and PowerPoint docs to PDF
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Animal World
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Kitty Korner
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Movie Clips
Fruit Cake Lady 2
http://www.buffalos
Geisha
http://www.buffalos
Gotcha
http://www.buffalos
Honey I'm Home
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Horse Race
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Indian Teacher Explaining the Word *uck
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Instant Justice Mega Mix
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German speed bump
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Get out of my bed cat
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GGG music video
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Finalized MTG Minutes
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First Day At The Rifle Range
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First IT Consultant
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Fishing Boat
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heaven Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Once, a gay man went to heaven. At the Pearly Gate Saint
Peter was waiting for him. After reviewing his records
Saint Peter decided to let him in. "Follow me." he said, opening the
gate and walking in.
After some walk, Saint Peter's keys accidentally fell
on the ground. Unaware, he bent over to pick up the
keys. That was something the gay man just couldn't
resist, so he jumped on him and did his thing.
Saint Peter was furious. "If you do that again, you'll
go straight to hell! Follow me, we're almost there."
After some more Peter dropped his keys again, and again,
the gay man jumped on him. Saint Peter was even more
furious than before, but decided to give the gay guy
one last chance.
Again they walk and for the third time Peter drops his
keys, so he bends over and picks them up. The gay guy,
having no self control jumps on him. Peter is now fed
up and sends the gay guy straight to hell.
A few weeks later, Saint Peter goes down to hell for
his routine inspection, but this time something is wrong,
it is freezing, no fire, no lava and in one corner, he
finds the devil lying under a stack of blankets freezing
his ass off.
"Why is it so god damn cold down here?" Peter asks.
"Well, you just try bending down for firewood!!" The
devil replied.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Each Forged Stainless Steel Knife Set includes:
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* 3.5 in Paring Knife
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Free Magic Chopper the Magic Chopper is one of the best kitchen
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One night Stand
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
No Grabbing
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
"> Here!</a>
play pen
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<a href=" http://www.buffalos
True happiness
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Good advertising
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Viagra overdose
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Windshield Wonder is the easy reach microfiber window cleaner that
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Windshield Wonder is also perfect for moisture and fog removal.
Get two for the price of one when you order today.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Winter is here with his grouch,
The time when you sneeze and you slouch.
You can't take your women
Canoein' or swimmin',
But a lot can be done on a couch!
-*-*-*-*-*
It always delights me at Hank's
To walk up the old river banks.
One time in the grass
I stepped on an ass,
And heard a young girl murmur, "Thanks."
-*-*-*-*-*
There was a young idler named Blood,
Who made a fortune performing at stud;
With a fifteen-inch peter,
A double-beat metre,
And a load like the Biblical Flood.
Karl K
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yoshi Blade - Razor Sharp Ceramic Knife
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Say goodbye to old fashioned steel knives.
As a bonus you'll get the Ceramic Potato Peeler.
View Web Version
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The writing on the (restroom)
wall.
A man walked into a barroom, and asked to use the john. While he
was in there, he glanced at the graffiti on the wall. He noticed
that
someone had written on the bathroom wall: "My mother made me a
homosexual."
Underneath it somebody else had written: "If I send her the wool,
will she
make me one too?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Micro Force is the world's smallest fully waterproof and
rechargeable electric shaver.
The rechargeable battery last up to 10 times longer than a standard
battery shaver.
With the Micro Force shaver being smaller than a credit card,
it makes it the perfect shaver for traveling or every day use.
Additional Ordering Details:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
We could balance the Federal Budget if we taxed sex. Everyone would
pay their share. Young people would pay more taxes and your tax
liability would decrease as you got older. The tax would also
promote
family values. How would you like to come home to your wife and have
her ask, "Honey, why is your tax bill larger than mine?" Or be a
teenager and come home to your dad with your tax bill in his hand.
We
wouldn't have to pay people to work for the IRS, they would be
paying
to work there just so they could review peoples returns. Locker room
conversations would change, "Get a load of this tax bill!" The forms
would change a little also. We would now have a 1040-Quickee. And it
would give a whole new meaning to the phrase, "Substantial penalty
for
early withdrawal."
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
TITAN Peeler - The World's Best Peeler!
The Titan Peeler is the world's best peeler. Made of long lasting,
dishwasher safe Stainless steel it has no equal. Long lasting blades
help cut vegetables quickly and easily and slice both hard and soft
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What you get
*Handle and cutting/peeling blade.
*Julienne Blade for perfect julienne slices of your favorite
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*Slicing Board that turns the Titan Peeler into the perfect slicer.
*Garnishing Book with tips and tricks on preparing fruits and
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http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1571
Kampy Kamping
BJ and Sandi trudge back to their tiny tent while Katie and Rudy
are basking in their glory.
Sandi: Don't worry daddy I would rather be with you than in that
large
comfortable tent with all that yummy food.
BJ: Thanks, I think.
Later that night a strong wind comes up. Later thunder sounds...
A-Rooo!
Sandi: Daddy, I think that is Rudy. He is scared of thunder.
BJ: Right. I guess I need to go check on him. Will you be okay?
Sandi: Yes. Go quickly.
BJ goes to the large tent and finds Rudy shaking in the middle of
the
floor.
A-ROOO!!!!
Rudy: Want to go to your tent!
BJ: Come on ole boy.
Rudy runs to dad's tent and gets in the sleeping bag next to BJ.
Sandi: Comfy?
Rudy: Yes. Father?
BJ: Yes Rudy.
Rudy: Where's your nuts?
BJ: Excuse me?
Rudy: Your cashews. You always brings cashews on your camping
trips.
BJ: Oh, right here. Here ya go.
Rudy: Thanks.... and thanks for getting me.
Sandi: It is not the size of the tent but the comfort one gets from
your tent.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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