Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I was going through my email tonight, making sure I had read
all of the birthday cards and answered the letters when I discovered
that through some fluke in Facebook not all of the birthday
greetings
had showed up on my wall and I had to look for them.. I came across
a bunch of polls that had been sent to me, pages of them in groups
of 18 asking for opinions on your friends. Most of them involved
personality traits like Do you think that so and so is trustworthy,
deceitful, charming, intelligent, etc. Others asked questions about
what you thoought of a person physical traits. like are they
youthful,
have pretty eyes, etc.
Those were all normal enough even though many of the people you
have never met or seen a picture of so I made my answers humorous
and continued on through about 50 out of the stack that was there.
Then I hit a question that made me think for a bit and actually four
women asked me, " If you were on fire do you think your friend would
pee on you to put it out?" Let me give you a little advice if you
happen
to find me in that predictament. First no bladder is going to
extinguish
a blazing buffalo so first summon the fire department. Do not try to
beat
the flames out with baseball bats, umbrellas, or garden rakes. If
you
have a fire extinguisher, pull the pin, but do not throw the fire
extinguisher,
it is not a hand grenade. Point the nozzle at me and squeeze the
handle. Remember beer and wine also will put out a fire, but brandy
and 151 proof rum will not and is a waste of good booze. Finally if
all else fails then you can try putting it out anyway you want to. I
really
desire to be buried at sea so you could try throwing me in the
nearest
large river and if I don't make it they can tow me to the nearest
ocean
and sink me there.
Last but not least are the quizzes that are popular on Facebook. I
personally don't care what my name would be if I was a Leprachaun
or a Mafia hitman so please don't ask
Enjoy the weekend.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hogan Grills Best
Hulk Hogan's Ultimate Grill includes 2 grill plates, 1 skillet,
Hogan Knows Grilling Book and 60-day money back guarantee. Cook
anything from steaks to vegetables to cookies. It's dishwasher safe
making cleanup a breeze. Now you can grill every meal to perfection.
Now with easy payment plans - order today.
View Web Version
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toilet Paper Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A little old lady went to the grocery store to buy cat food. She
picked
up three cans and took them to the check out counter.
The girl at the cash register said, "I'm sorry, but we cannot sell
you
cat food without proof that you have a cat. A lot of older people
buy
cat food to eat, and the government requires proof that you are
buying
the cat food for your cat."
The little old lady went home, picked up her cat and brought it back
to
the store, and they sold her the cat food.
The next day, she tried to buy three cans of dog food. Again the
cashier
demanded proof that she had a dog, because older people sometimes
eat
dog food.
She went home and brought in her dog, and they sold her dog food.
The next day she brought in a box with a hole in the lid, and asked
the
cashier to stick her finger in the hole but the cashier refused,
saying
"No, you might have a snake in there." The little old lady assured
her
that there was nothing in the box that would harm her. So the
cashier
put her finger into the box and pulled it out and exclaimed, "That
smells like crap." The little old lady said, "It is. Now can I buy
three
rolls of toilet paper?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
the optometrist
http://www.thepostm
think big
http://www.thepostm
madam and the gardner
http://www.thepostm
Cram
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Herbert
http://www.buffalos
Be Polite
http://www.buffalos
Hillbilly
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wife Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Jewish man gets pestered by his parents who repeatedly keep
asking him to get married, even though the young man admits he is
unable
to
get erection. But out of respect for his orthodox
Jewish parents he decides to go out and find a girl for himself.
After he finds a girl he comes home and announces: "Mom, I found
a girl. Her name is Laila Hamdani". The mom says to the young
man: "You asshole, when I said find a wife for yourself, I didn't
mean
find
a muslim wife. Now go back and find someone else, and
please dump this bitch!".
The disappointed guy goes back out to the bars and finds another
girl
named
Sara Monahan. When he comes home and introduces Sara
to his family, the dad yells at the son "You son of a bitch, we
don't want an Irish catholic bride for you in this house. Please
go out and find someone else."
So the man goes out again and comes home once again, but this
time he is home after dropping his newly found third girlfriend
home first. Before he could say anything his parents ask him,
"OK, what's the last name of this bitch you just found?". The
man says, "Well her last name is Goldberg". Both parents are so
ecstatic to finally get a Jewish daughter-in-
that they start jumping up and down in happiness.
Then the mom asks the son: "OK shitface, what's this bitch's
first name?"
The son replies "Whoopi".
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kiyoseki Styler - 3-in-1 Professional Styler
In just minutes a day you'll go from dull, dry hair to shiny,
conditioned hair with the Kiyoseki Styler. This sleek, lightweight
ceramic styler lets you straighten, curl and volumize. With its
adjustable temperature control and 10 foot swivel cord that never
tangles, styling has never been faster.
Celebrities love the K-Styler too - read more about Carmen Electra
and how she loves her Kiyoseki Styler.
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q and A Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. Did You Hear About The Nympho At The Hotel Pool?
A. She Was Barred From The Area After The Lifeguard Saw Her Go Down
For
The Third Time.
Q. Did You Hear About The Marriage Of The Dipsomaniac And The
Nymphomaniac. A. It Was Nip And F*** All The Way.
Q. Did You Hear About The Nymphomaniac Who Died During An Ocean
Crossing? A. She Tried To Go Down On The Titanic.
Q. What Is The Definition Of The `Perfect Woman'?
A. A Deaf, Dumb, Blind Nymphomaniac Who Owns A Liquor Store.
Q. Why Is A Nymphomaniac'
A. They're Both Open To Males Ages 18 To 39.
Q. Did You Hear About The Nymphomaniacal Dieter?
A. She Was Weighed In The Balance And Found Wanton.
Q. Did You Hear About The Nymphomaniacal Israelite?
A. She Was Always Trying To Make A Prophet.
Q. Have you heard of the new Christmas-time charity?
A. It supplies vibrators to nymphomaniacs. It's called TOYS FOR
TWATS.
Q. How can you tell if a sorority girl's a nymphomaniac?
A. She'll make love the same day she has her hair done.
Q: What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a
sorority girl?
A: A prostitute says "Are you done yet?", a nymphomaniac says
"You're
done already?", and a sorority girl says "Beige... I think I'll
paint
the ceiling beige."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Forearm Forklift Lifting Straps - Carry furnishing easier.
Straps that employ leverage which make everything you carry feel 50%
lighter. This is great for steam cleaning, rearranging, painting and
relocating.
View Web Version
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
200 Dollar Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy is sitting in a bar, absolutely drooling
at a pretty young thing in her short, pink
mini-dress. Using the time honored ice
breaker, he sends her a drink.
"How lucky am I," he thinks, as she gets up
to come sit next to him. They strike up a
wonderful conversation.
Finally the girl turns to him and says, "Look,
you seem like a really nice guy, so I have to
tell you that I'm a working girl. I get two
hundred dollars for what you think you'll
ply out of me with liquor."
He replies, "I have no problem with the money
but, since you were so straight forward I must
tell you that when I come, I go nuts. I bite,
scratch, kick, punch, pull hair, break furniture,
and just plain destroy the place."
"Oh my goodness! How long does that last?"
she asked.
"Oh, not long. Just until I get my two hundred
bucks back," he replied.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Give Your Child The Gift Of Early Learning...
In the first years of a child's life, tens of thousands of synaptic
connections are made each second in the brain, opening the door for
increased learning capacity. The most natural time to learn any
aspect of language is during the infant and toddler years. There is
a "natural window of opportunity" for learning language where it is
easier for children to learn to understand and speak our language at
a high level. During this window of opportunity, between the ages of
3 months and 5 years, they can also learn the written word naturally
and easily.
Teach Your Child to Read...
- Increased Communication Skills
- Enhanced Learning Ability
- Greater Confidence
- Future Success
30-Day Risk Free Trial + Free Shipping!
Find out more about how it works here:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Speaking at the Staff Meeting, a very pert and
pretty female engineer named Renee told the male
manager of the Division, "I'd like to get some-
thing off my chest."
"What's that, Renee?"
"Your eyes."
~~~~~~
"I've got to get to the doctor and renew my
prescription of birth control pills. I can't
afford to get pregnant!" said Rosey to Nina.
"But I thought you said your husband had a
vasectomy," Nina responded.
"He did. That's why I can't afford to get
pregnant."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Your family comes first - ensure their financial security for just
dollars a day. It can be difficult to find an affordable policy that
covers all of your familyÕs needs, but by taking just two minutes
to request a no-hassle life insurance quote from Rapid Life
Insurance, you can find the best deal on the right plan for your
loved ones without taking any tests or waiting.
We know that high premiums can put a strain on your family's
finances, and we are here to help you find the coverage you need at
a price you can afford.
Request your quote in 5 minutes or less!
* Answer our simple health questions
* Get the information YOU need to protect your family
* Find out the best options for YOU
Get started now! >>
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dental Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A shy little 4-year-old came in to the dentist for her first
cleaning
and check-up. The hygienist tried to strike up a conversation but
got no
response.
After the cleaning, the dentist was called in to do the final check.
The
dentist tried to strike up a conversation as well.
"How old are you?"
No response.
The dentist then asked, "Don't you know how old you are?"
Immediately four tiny fingers went up.
"Oh," replied the dentist, "and do you know how old that is?"
Four little fingers went up once again.
Continuing the effort to get a response, the dentist asked, "Can you
talk?"
The solemn little patient looked at him and asked, "Can you count,
asshole?!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Car Insurance Reduction!
We can help you reduce your auto insurance by over $500 a year!
Find Your Savings Today!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/She's So Fine
http://silverandgol
Old Olive Tree
http://summerhoosie
Hear,Speak, And See No Evil
http://texasbobswor
Taken For Granted
http://www.carolspo
Hand Painting Art 2
http://www.shangral
*+*+*+*+*+*+
You probably think I've lost my mind - and maybe I have - but just
visit this site right now and in 5 minutes you''ll have this awesome
$497 Internet business training kit as my gift to you. No kidding!
Why am I giving this away?
I finally got so sick and tired of watching fakers and bigmouths
sell wrong information about how to make a fortune online... that
I've to decided give away my awesome Internet Business Training
System so I can help people finally get the truth!
See... I've made a fortune online and I've helped over 100,000
customers to unlock the secrets to getting started online - the
right way.
Press here to Grab it quick - right now - before I change my mind...
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
Miniture Wonderland
http://www.shangral
Worms
http://www.shangral
Cost To Drive
http://www.Costtodr
Eastern State Penitentiary Timeline - Interesting Via Wesley
http://www.easterns
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Here is some more information about this new way to watch
television:
1) All of the programming is uncensored!
2) There are hundreds of channels from around the world to watch!
And new channels are added every day!
3) Hundreds of Radio stations to listen to anytime, all of the time!
And new stations are added daily!
4) All of these channels are available 24 hours per day right from
your PC and laptop!
5) No additional hardware is needed!
6) You won't have to pay a cable or satellite bill any longer!
Press Here For More Information and To Download Now:
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv) Via Wesley
Make A Flash Face
http://flashface.
Why Linux is Better
http://www.whylinux
HTML editor
http://bluefish.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Your PC may be suffering from serious file errors in your WINDOWS
registry which may be the reason why your PC is running so slow, or
crashing and freezing from time to time. Also, these can lead to
major system problems and possible memory leaks.
Below are instructions that will enable you to Increase Your
Computer's Speed, Power, Stability and Reliability in just a few
minutes.
If after completing the free Diagnostic Test it is brought to your
attention that your computer's registry does contain file "errors",
then it may be in your computer's best interest to fix the
potentially harmful file errors in your registry.
Press below to launch the Diagnostics Test download now:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://sweet-
Clean Inside of your screen FREE
http://www.raincity
*+*+*+*+*+*+
FREE*- DATING SITE and DATING COMMUNITY!
Are you still SINGLE? Last week we sent you an email to notify you
about our new dating network that is -FREE- to join, and not only do
we have thousands of single women and men located right in your
city, but we have the EXACT SINGLE women and men that you would want
to meet and date this week!
PRESS HERE TO JOIN FOR NO COST (MUST BE 18 and OLDER):No Credit Card
Required:
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Does your computer seem to be running slower than usual? Well, if
you've downloaded any music, movie clips, or games in the past 2
months, then your computer may be infected with "Ad-Ware" and
"Spy-Ware"!
Advertisers use downloadable music as a vehicle to "legally" add
"Spy-Ware" and "Ad-Ware" to consumer PCs. If you're suspicious that
Internet Advertisers have added "Ad-Ware" or "Spy-Ware" to your
computer, then here's your chance to scan your computer at no
charge.
Press Here to Begin Scan (YOU WILL NOT BE CHARGED FOR THIS):
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Clips
Talking Italian
http://www.buffalos
Tattoo Remover
http://www.buffalos
Rocking Horse Ride
http://www.buffalos
063
http://www.buffalos
Blind Man Levis
http://www.buffalos
How to get jail time for a speeding ticket
http://www.buffalos
Hrbtno
http://www.buffalos
Ice fishing
http://www.buffalos
If my nose was running money
http://www.buffalos
Important Message
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Naked Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
THINGS A MAN DOESN'T APPRECIATE BEING SAID WHEN A WOMAN IS LOOKING
AT
HIM NAKED
1. Why is God punishing me?
2. At least this won't take long.
3. I never saw one like that before.
4. But it still works, right?
5. It looks unused.
6. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
7. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?
8. Are you cold?
9. If you get me real drunk first.
10. Is that an optical illusion?
11. What is that?
12. It's a good thing you have so many other talents.
13. Does it come with an air pump?
14. So this is why you're to judge people on personality.
15. I guess this makes me the 'early bird.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
We want to give you a FREE web site that works
hard for you around the clock! 24 hours a day
365 days a year while you lay back and collect
your cash.
* No Cold Calling
* No Experience Necessary
* No Complicated Programs
Your site is 100% complete and ready for you
Check out what your new website will look like.
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Arkansa Quarter
http://www.sydesjok
Army Knifes
http://www.sydesjok
Arrogant Bastard Ale
http://www.sydesjok
Huge Enemys
http://www.buffalos
He Likes you
http://www.buffalos
Did it hurt
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Windshield Wonder is the easy reach microfiber window cleaner that
eliminates straining and stretching. It uses a 16" handle to help
reach all the way down to the dash and base of your rear window.
Windshield Wonder is also perfect for moisture and fog removal.
Get two for the price of one when you order today.
Order now
View Web Version
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young lady from Exeter,
So pretty the men strained their necks at her.
But one was so brave
To pull out and wave
The distinguishing mark of his sex at her.
~~~~
There once was a man from Van Isle
Who said jogging just wasn't his style.
"I'll get my workouts," he said,
"At home, in my bed,
'Cause a Miss is as good as a mile!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yoshi Blade - Razor Sharp Ceramic Knife
Introducing the razor-sharp, feather-light ceramic slicing knife.
Unlike steel knife blades, YoshiBlade stay razor sharp. In fact,
this space-age material is so hard that professional chefs use
ceramic to sharpen their steel knives.
Say goodbye to old fashioned steel knives.
As a bonus you'll get the Ceramic Potato Peeler.
View Web Version
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An ant and an elephant got married, despite the best
advice of their friends. During their first
intercourse, the elephant suffered a heart attack and died.
"Crap," said the ant. "Five minutes of passion, and
now the rest of my life digging a grave."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
TITAN Peeler - The World's Best Peeler!
The Titan Peeler is the world's best peeler. Made of long lasting,
dishwasher safe Stainless steel it has no equal. Long lasting blades
help cut vegetables quickly and easily and slice both hard and soft
cheese perfectly, every time. Each Peeler has dual action motion to
cut the peeling time in-half. Don't waste anymore time! Order
yours today!
What you get
*Handle and cutting/peeling blade.
*Julienne Blade for perfect julienne slices of your favorite
vegetables every time.
*Slicing Board that turns the Titan Peeler into the perfect slicer.
*Garnishing Book with tips and tricks on preparing fruits and
vegetables.
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jerry was walking near a womens fashions store
when he observed this knockout blonde approaching him.
He says to the lady, "You are a gal with my favorite kind of legs!"
The blonde asks, "And just what kind of legs are they?"
Jerry says, " They have feet on one end and pussy on the other!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
LENS DOCTOR
The Original Lens Doctor is the quick and easy way to fix scratches
and imperfections in your glasses. Just slide the treatment solution
across the surface of the lens with the applicator. The solution
dries to a hard protective surface and won't change or damage your
prescription. Lens Doctor works on eyeglasses, reading glasses,
sunglasses, protective goggles, clear or prescription. Comes with
the Lens Doctor cleaning and treatment solution.
Order from the Official TV Website Here:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1582
The Play
BJ arrives home to see a stage in his front yard and chairs in
front of the stage.
BJ goes into the house: What is with the stage outside?
Diana: Oh I think the kids are going to have a play.
BJ: What's the play called?
Diana: They are combining some classics into a new all in one
play...
it is called "Our Town, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, the Musical"
BJ: Ack! That sounds dreadful.
Diana: Well the play starts soon so let's go outside and see for
ourselves.
BJ and Diana go outside and start to sit down...
Katie: Ticket please.
BJ: We do not have tickets.
Katie: A-hem, that will be ten dollars then.
BJ: Here.
Katie: Each.
BJ: Here.
Katie: Would you care for popcorn and drinks?
BJ: Yeah sure.
Katie: Ten dollars please.
BJ: Here you go.
Katie: Each.
BJ: Grrr. Okay here you go.
Katie has her paw out for a tip..looking at the sky.
BJ digs for a dollar tip.
Katie: Big tipper I see.
Diana: Give her another dollar.
BJ: Okay here ya go.
Katie: Thank you and enjoy the show.
To be continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
No virus found in this incoming message.
Checked by AVG.
Version: 8.0.100 / Virus Database: 269.23.21/1456 - Release Date:
5/20/2008 6:45 AM
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch format to Traditional
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe
No comments:
Post a Comment