THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
He who has laughter on his side has no need of proof
Theodor W. Adorno
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
If you are in California today, you are probably looking
for someplace cool as temps are expected to reach as much
as 90 degrees in some places. On the other hand, here in
West Michigan, it is almost on the chilly side this morning.
It rained almost all day yesterday, and probably will today
also. I suspect it must be right around 40 or 50 degrees
currently, and I do believe the furnace just kicked
in. This is very frustrating to me as I think it is mother
nature's plot against me personally, mostly cuz I like riding
a motorcycle. I'm sure that its a woman thing too, since the war
department would prefer I didn't ride. Mother nature is probably
in cahoots with her. Weather man says it will stay this way
and won't warm up until Thursday or Friday. Does anyone want
to buy a house in Michigan? Its a nice place to live as long
as you like crappy weather and don't need a job.
General Motors announced it is shutting
down their one remaining factory here in town by the end of
June. This is 1 year sooner than they planned, thanks to president
Obama. You may think he is concerned with creating jobs, but in
truth he just spelled the death of thousands of them here in
Michigan. This closing is part of GMS plan to cut costs when the
president told them they had to do more to qualify for government
loans. It makes no sense to me. go figger.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
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THE COMICS
telephone
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please check
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what dogs would say
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poor cat
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Mary had a little lamb
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ask your doctor
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the interior
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you're amazing
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3 weeks
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a hot fire
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LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
smart cat
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a swan
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goodness gracious
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creepy crawleys
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beauty is in the eyes of the beholder
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talking dog
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best birthday present ever
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McDonalds
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the Dough boy
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INTERESTING STUFF
visions of England
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21 dumbest criminals
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2332.html
planes trains and automobiles
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three stooges
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sport bloopers
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gay marriage
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wildlife cam
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_________________
POWER POINT DISPLAYS
Salvatore Dali
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microsoft word
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go navy!
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Earthquake in Italy
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bikini art
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I was driving from Iowa City to Cedar Rapids the other day when a tire blew out.
Checking my spare, I found that it too was flat. My only option was to flag down
a passing motorist and get a ride to the next town. The first vehicle to stop
was an old man in a van. He yelled out the window, "Need a lift?" "Yes, I sure do,"
I replied. "You a Republican or Democrat," asked the old man. "Republican,"
I replied. "Well, you can just go to Hell," yelled the old man as he sped off.
Another guy stopped, rolled down the window, and asked me the same question.
Again, I gave the same answer, "Republican." The driver gave me the finger and
drove off. I thought it over and decided that maybe I should change my strategy,
since this area seemed to be overly political and there appeared to be few
Republican. The next car to stop was a red convertible driven by a beautiful blonde.
She smiled seductively and asked if I was a Republican or Democrat. "Democrat!"
I shouted.. "Hop in!" replied the blonde. Driving down the road, I couldn't
help but stare at the gorgeous woman in the seat next to me, the wind
blowing through her hair, perfect breasts, and a short skirt that continued
to ride higher and higher up her thighs. Finally, I yelled, "Please stop the car."
She immediately slammed on the brakes and as soon as the car stopped, I jumped out.
"What's the matter?" she asked. "I can't take it anymore," I replied.
"I've only been a Democrat for five minutes and already I want to screw somebody."
_____________
When I lived in an apartment complex, a good friend of mine lived there also
and decided it was time for her to get a boob job. Since
I'd been through it, she asked me to go with her.
Everything went well, and that summer we were both at the pool getting some sun.
One of the regular guys in our group, who'd had his eye on my girlfriend for some
time, said to me, "There's something different about
your friend this year, but I can't quite put my finger on it."
After I finished laughing, I said, "And you probably never will either!"
________________
A friend and his five-year-old son were heading home after a soccer game.
Assuming the boy's subdued mood was due to his team's loss, my friend tried
to reassure him that he had done a good job, even though he had played in
only part of the game. "But, Dad," the boy said, "the coach told me to sit out
for a quarter. And he hasn't paid me yet."
_____________
This teenager was in a boutique for at least an hour choosing the
"perfect" dress for the prom. The next day, to the surprise of the
saleswoman, she was back with the outfit.
"Can I exchange this for something else?" she asked.
The saleswoman was surprised, but she couldn't argue with the girl's
explanation: "My parents like it."
______________
Two friends were at a bar discussing life and love. One said, "Would
you believe that out of all the women I've been with not a one of
them was a virgin? It'd be nice if girls saved themselves for
marriage. I think it would cure a big part of the huge divorce crisis
we have."
"Yeah, Jim, I hear you," said the other. "Out of all the women I've
been with I've only had two virgins myself; my wife and yours."
_______________
Against his better judgment, the auto garage hired three blondes when
he was in need of a couple of mechanic's helpers. Taking great pains
to be specific, the he explained to the three that he wanted them to
clean a car that was parked outside. He gave them two extension
cords, the vacuum cleaner, a bucket, rags and thecar keys.
Later he went out and discovered them sitting in the car, feet up on
the dashboard, listening to the stereo. "Why aren't you vacuuming the
car?" he asked.
"Because the extension cord wouldn't reach," was the reply.
Exasperated, he said, "That's why I gave you two."
"Well, Duh, we tried the other one!" one blonde said. "It wouldn't
reach neither."
_____________
BUFFALO BILL
Costa Rica Vacation
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Cowboy
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Crabz
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FUN PAGES from Lorraine
Pistoleros
http://tinyurl.com/ceatm6
Elephant Whales
http://tinyurl.com/da4uhj
Call of Duty 2
http://tinyurl.com/cu33xd
______________
SYDESJOKES LIST
How To Get Rid Of A One Night Stand
http://www.sydesjokes.com/extra/link000028.html
How To Operate A Loader
http://www.sydesjokes.com/extra/link000029.html
______________
THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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