Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Getting back to my story from the other night, jumping forward about
ten years, I was working at the University of San Diego and had a
set of torches burning the rust off of the bottom of a big
condensate tank. The torch had went out and there was gas leaking
under the tank
and when I relit the torch it went off with a loud bang and raised a
big
cloud of dust. Everybody came running, thinking I had blown myself
up
and we had fun recreating the bang a couple of times.
A few months later I had the torches over at one of the other boiler
rooms
taking some two and a half inch copper pipe for scrapping when I
tried
filling up the pipe with gas and lighting it from a small pipe on
one end.
It made a nice pop so I stuffed an old tennis ball in the pipe and
repeated
the experiment and this time a smoking tennis ball flew out across a
big
parking lot and over the top of a building. I decided it would be a
good
idea to knock it off before I had to explain the boss why I was
bombarding the campus.
I had heard about filling balloons with oxy-acetylene and making
them
explode and I borrowed the little set of backpack torches for New
Years
Eve 1986. We were at one of the apartments in a building I managed
on Nimitz Blvd. which was at the end of NTC San Diego. It is 4 lanes
and
generally quite busy but as midnight approached it was deserted. I
had
the door open facing the street and on the sidewalk was a shopping
cart from the Vons store on the other side of Nimitz. There was four
basketball sized balloons in the basket and I had a dart with a
cigarette
on it about ten feet away. At exactly midnight I tossed the dart and
what
a bang. It sounded like a bundle of dynamite going off and lit up
the sky.
In the apartment next door the concussion knocked all of the pots
and
pans off the wall. Up and down the street people were cheering and I
put my gear away and went to bed.
Tomorrow... the end of my experiments. Have a great weekend ..
buffalo
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Quote Chips
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Thoughts for the day <suggestive>
1. "I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural,
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2. "You know that 'look' women get when they want sex? Me
neither."
- Steve Martin
3. "Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as
meaningless
experiences go, it's pretty damned good." - Drew Carey
4. "Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good
partner, you'd better have a good hand." - Woody Allen
5. "If it weren't for pickpockets I'd have no sex life at all." -
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6. "Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on
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7. "I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty." -
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9. "Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope." -
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11. "The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362
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Lynn Lavner
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sexual
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Nun Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
This German tourist was on a bus tour of Castilla during the summer
that had a stop at this old convent. The tour wasn't that
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Feeling the urge, he stopped to pee on the outside wall of the
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Bathroom Chips
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A man is driving along the interstate out of Maine. He's got two
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"What will god give us today?" The preacher holds up his hand,
reaching up to heaven through his heaven-hole in the wall.
PLOP!!
"Oh. Well, if that's how he's feeling today, well, so be it. What
will god say to us today?" He stretches his ear up to heaven.
"Damn it, where's the toilet paper?"
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gay Man's Motto:
"My body is a temple ... With ample parking in the rear."
Q:What did the angry toilet say to the other toilet?
A:I'm pissed!
Q:What did the tired toilet say back?
A:Well, i'm pooped!
Q. Why is sex with your wife like eating at McDonald's?
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Q. What do you call female Viagra?
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If I were a dairy cow, I don't know
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"Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're
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Be sure your words are short and sweet.
You never know which you will have to eat.
I am involved in a big dispute with the IRS. I say my car should be
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and the back seat for entertainment.
Don't let your affection give you an infection.
Put some protection on that erection.
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
What's the definition of a computer nerd?
A man who knows 4,560 ways to have sex, but doesn't know any girls.
Re-create the fun of a visit to a public swimming pool in your own
home by filling the bath with cold water, adding two bottles of
bleach, and then urinating into it, before jumping in.
You can pick your friends and
you can pick your nose . . .
But you can't wipe your
friends on the couch.
A van carrying a dozen movie stuntmen on the way to a film location
in the mountains spun out of control on the icy road, crashed
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Did you know that Jeffrey Dahmer was the only man in America whose
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Amy
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Doctor Chips
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Blind Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A teacher at a school for blind kids is taking his school's soccer
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nearby pasture. The teacher is sitting in a nearby diner, explaining
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"We made a special ball, with a bell in it, so the kids can keep
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They're pretty good at it too."
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LynnLynn's Links
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Movie Clips
Wrong Phone
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WW30mm
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XX Cigar Rolling
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Kitty Cat Song
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Royal Canadian Air Farce
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x352
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Yeah Right
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Your Side Of The family
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Lake Delton Break To WI River
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Baby Panda Sneeze
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young virgin marries a Greek man and before the wedding her father
tells her that, being Greek, her husband may ask her to turn the
other way in bed one day, but that she doesn't have to do it if she
doesn't want to. Sure enough, after a couple of months, her husband
asks her to turn over and she says
"No, my father said I don't have to do this."
Her husband says "OK, that's fine by me, but I thought you wanted
children."
A group of bats is hanging around, upside down, as usual, mostly
sleeping. Suddenly one notices that Charlie is on the floor,
standing upright and looking around.
"Hey, Charlie," he calls out. "What are you doing down there?"
Charlie looks up and says, "Yoga!"
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Toon Chips
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Trivial Pursuit
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Talented Tongue
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young fellow from Sparta.
A really magnificent farter.
On the strength of one bean
He'd fart "God Save the Queen,"
And Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata.
He could vary, with proper persuasion,
His fart to suit any occasion.
He could fart like a flute,
Like a lark, like a lute,
This highly fartistic Caucasian.
This sparkling young farter from Sparta,
His fart for no money would barter.
He could roar from his rear
Any scene from Shakespeare,
Or Gilbert and Sullivan's Mikado.
Nobody could play the classics finer,
As he showed me one day in the diner.
I had a bagel with lox
while he played from his buttocks:
Chopin's Etude #12 in C-minor.
He'd fart a gavotte for a starter,
And fizzle a fine serenata.
He could play on his anus
The Coriolanus:
Oof, boom,er-tum,
He was great in the Christmas Cantata,
He could double-stop fart the Toccata,
He'd boom from his ass
Bach's B-Minor Mass,
And in counterpoint, La Traviata.
Spurred on by a very high wager
With an envious German named Bager,
He'd proceeded to fart
The complete oboe part
Of a Haydn Octet in B-major.
His reportoire ranged from classics to jazz,
He achieved new effects with bubbles of gas.
With a good dose of salts
He could whistle a waltz
Or swing it in razzamatazz.
His basso profundo with timbre so rare
He rendered quite often, with power to spare.
But his great work of art,
His fortissimo fart,
He saved for the Marche Militaire.
One day he was dared to perform
The William Tell Overture Storm,
But naught could dishearten
Our spirited Spartan,
For his fart was in wonderful form.
It went off in capital style,
And he farted it through with a smile,
Then, feeling quite jolly,
He tried the finale,
Blowing double-stopped farts all the while.
The selection was tough, I admit,
But it did not dismay him one bit,
Then, with his ass thrown aloft
He suddenly coughed...
And collapsed in a shower of shit.
His bunghole was blown back to Sparta,
Where they buried the rest of our farter,
With a gravestone of turds
Inscribed with the words:
"To the Fine Art of Farting, A Martyr."
There was a young lady whose joys
Were achieved with incomparable poise.
She could have an orgasm
With never a spasm---
She could fart without making a noise.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A worried voice on the doctor's telephone declared, "A mouse ran up
my wife's honeypot!" The doctor replied, "I'll be over in ten
minutes. In the meantime, try waving a piece of cheese between her
legs." When the doctor arrived at the house, he was welcomed by the
couple's young son , who showed him upstairs to the bedroom. There
on the bed sat a frantic woman, legs spread wide, while her husband
waved an open can of tuna over the opening. The doctor cried,
"Idiot, I said to use cheese!" The man retorted, "I know that, you
fool... but I've got to get the cat out first!"
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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
In a university biology class, the professor was
discussing the high glucose levels found in semen.
A female freshman raised her hand and asked,
"If I understand, you're saying there is a lot of
glucose, as in sugar, in semen?"
"That's correct," responded the professor, going
on to add statistical info.
Raising her hand again, she asked, "Then why
doesn't it taste sweet?"
After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out
laughing. The poor girl's face turned bright red and,
as she realized exactly what she had inadvertently
said (or rather implied), she picked up her things
without a word and walked out of class, never to
return.
However, as she was going out the door, the
professor's reply was classic. Totally straight-faced
he answered her question, "It doesn't taste sweet
because the taste buds for sweetness are on the
tip of your tongue and not the back of your throat."
Randy
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1574
89'er Day and the Float
BJ arrives home and goes into the house.
BJ: What is with the hammering outside?
Diana: I think the dogs are making something.
BJ: I wonder what it is?
Diana: Sandi asked if they could borrow the trailer for a while.
BJ: Let's go see what is going on.
Diana: Okay..
Outside...Rudy is hammering, Sandi is sawing and Katie is directing.
BJ: What are you guys doing?
Sandi takes of her hardhat: We are working on a float for the 89'er
day
Daddy.
Rudy: Yeah, we want to win the 1,000 first place prize.
Katie: Tut tut back to work, we have much to do here.
Diana: What is the theme?
Katie: Sorry Ma'am, it is a secret.
To be continued
The Herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
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