THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
If you sell a pig to a pawn shop, do they call that a ham hock?
___________________
AS SEEN ON TV
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=============
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=============================
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Did you hear the news recently that the prime minister of
Somalia says they have information that will track down the
terrorists? He says there is a great deal of money being
spent by these folks and that they have been tracking the money
trail and know who has it. He wants to meet with President
Obama to ask for help in tracking them down. I expect the
president will respond favorably to the request. not that he
is interested in tracking down the pirates, but that he will
probably want to tax them like everything else.
BTW, Are your parents still alive?
My mother is still living. That old hill billy
will probably outlive us all. Question for you.
When was the last time you called your momma or your
pop? If you gotta tell me more than 2 days, I gotta
tell you you better fix that. I carry unlimited long
distance for one reason and one reason only. I call
my momma every day, more or less. And if you are not
doing the same, you better fix it with your folks.
you owe it to them. I always start the conversation the
same way, "Well momma, I didn't see you in the obits
this morning, so I thot I better call." After 52 years,
she is used to my warped sense of humor.
Call your mom and dad today.
You will both be glad.
Our washer breathed its last the other day. It was not
a great track record, but it did ok for us. We had an
old GE model. It was 12 years old, so certainly it had
done its job and didn't owe us any money. The repair guy
said the tranny was spitting oil. And usually when that
happens it is the kiss of death. My experience tells me
that tranny washers are as expensive as car trannys. You
may as well toss it in. Plus there were a couple other
troubles. So, I did what any smart husband who has been
married 30 years. Took the war department up to the appliance
store and let her decide which one she wanted. A wise
married man knows to keep his mouth shut when its time
for the old lady to pick out her household appliances. :)
This I have learned. We now own a new Maytag. Yeah it
was probably one of the most expensive ones on the floor.
But hey, its what she wanted. And when she gets what
she wants, everyone is happy:)
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
__________
THE COMICS
the optometrist
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y091.html
think big
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y092.html
madam and the gardner
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y093.html
side effects
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y094.html
Frosty's birthday
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y095.html
pole dancing
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y096.html
Charlie Brown in a "green society"
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y097.html
the milkman
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y098.html
computer down
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y099.html
measurements
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y100.html
__________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Scottish boy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5395.html
stranded
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5396.html
mentos
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5397.html
oopsies
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5398.html
alien prank
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5399.html
confessions
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5400.html
IKEA
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5401.html
_____________________
INTERESTING STUFF
its too late
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2343.html
bug in mouth
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2344.html
polar meltdown
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2345.html
you type, she speaks
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2346.html
naked wizard
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2347.html
___________
COOL PICS
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fan/e001.html
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fan/e002.html
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fan/e003.html
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fan/e004.html
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fan/e005.html
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fan/e006.html
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fan/e007.html
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fan/e008.html
A fellow picked up a girl in a bar and took her home with him.
After some preliminary drinks and talk, they got undressed,
climbed into bed and generally got organized for a leg over.
After a few minutes, the girl started laughing.
The fellow asked her what she found so amusing.
"Your bat," she replied. "It's a bit on the small side."
Feelings hurt, he replied: "It's not used to playing in Yankee Stadium."
________________
I saw her sittin' in a barroom
In that smokey atmosphere
She smiled back at me
As I drank down one last beer
She pulled me on the dancefloor
We danced a song or two
It was then I realized that I
Bit off more than I could chew
I think I'm dancing with a man
She's got calluses on her hand
She's got a voice like Johnny Cash
And she hiding a mustache
I think I'm dancing with a man
We sit down and talked a while
And we listened to the band
And a friend of mine walked by
And he asked her if she'd dance
Then he gently took her hand
And he twirled her round and round
It looked like he was havin fun
Until her skirt fell to the ground
I think he's dancing with a man
The boys at the lodge won't understand
As they two-stepped 'cross the floor
I quickly headed for the door
I think he's dancing with a man
Good Lord we're dancing with a man
It'll be known throughout the land
Two boys from Texas danced a jig
With a dude who wore a wig
We've been dancing with a man
She crushed a beer can on her head
Good Lord her forehead's red
We've been dancing with a damn big man
_________________
What's dumb?
Directions on toilet paper.
What's dumber than that?
Reading them.
Even dumber?
Reading them and learning something.
Dumbest of all?
Reading them and having to correct something you've been doing wrong.
___________________
A little blonde boy from New York City was being led through the swamps
of Louisiana by his cousin...
The boy said to his cousin, "Is it true that an alligator won't attack
you if you carry a flashlight?"
The cousin smirked and replied, "Depends how fast ya carry the
flashlight."
_____________
BUFFALO BILL
Good news
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30835.htm
Gloria
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30833.htm
No Peeing
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30834.htm
______________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
SAS Zombie Assault
http://tinyurl.com/cezg34
Warlords Fighting Game
http://tinyurl.com/cd8ulm
Twilight Quiz
http://tinyurl.com/dd4wbq
__________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Arab Censorship
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000073.html
Arab Driver
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000074.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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