THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
"There is something refreshingly ironic about people lying on the beach
contracting skin cancer in an attempt to acquire a purely illusory
appearance of good health, while germ-laden medical waste washes up on
the sand all around them." -- George Carlin
Get cooking with your FREE Rachael Ray(TM) DVD Collection
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/ce/8512.html
The '09 Honda(R) Ruckus(R) Scooter is the hottest scooter on the
market! Equipped with Dual-Headlights, a 49cc Engine, V-Matic(R)
Automatic Transmission and 1.3 Gallon Tank, this scooter is sure to
make a ruckus on the road! Act now to get your new scooter for FREE!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/ce/8274.html
free mountain dew!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/ce/4273.html
FREE FOOD FROM WENDYS
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/ce/4113.html
==================
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
I am going to be out of town for a couple days over Easter weekend.
The war department and me are going to head back home so we can visit
my family. We try to get out there once a year. But last year we missed
it due to those silly ole stays at the hospital that I had. So you
won't get a issue for at least a couple days anyway. Not sure
exactly when we will be back. Monday or
Tuesday, most likely. Gonna be a fun trip, NOT!! Dragging the oxygen gear,
the dog, and etc. Fortunately, we have a large car to go in. we will
travel in comfort and space in the Crown Victoria. No way will I even
attempt the trip in her car, which is a little cavalier. Altho certainly
reliable, it feels like I am riding in a roller skate when we go somewhere
in that thing. And with gas back down to 2 bux a gallon again, I am
certainly glad I did not sacrifice an extra gallon of gas for my creature
comforts. Soooo....have a great Easter, and I'll see you all in a few days!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
THE COMICS
tips for success with women
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x031.html
temporary
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x032.html
my pictures
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x033.html
I won't be bothering you
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x034.html
Randy remembers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x035.html
stripper
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x036.html
doctor is in
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x037.html
somewhere in Somalia
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x038.html
__________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
we the people
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5303.html
lubricating jell
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5304.html
Juggs Judy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5305.html
parallell parking made easy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5306.html
911 call-wav file
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5307.html
never trust a green light
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5308.html
Jack Benny buys a watch
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5309.html
bucks fighting
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5310.html
___________
I was getting on the elevator today when I saw a rather solidly-built,
middle-aged woman struggling through the front door of the building,
obviously in a hurry. So taking pity on her I held the door open until
she could get through the lobby and make it to the elevator.
"Oh, thank you!" she said breathlessly. "It's so nice to see men are
still willing to do a favor for a lady."
"No problem," I answered. "Chivalry isn't dead yet."
She grunted at me, "If it isn't then it's nearly dead. These days it
seems you can't get a man's attention unless you're showing off huge boobs."
"Don't be too jealous," I said, "my wife has big tits and I usually ignore her."
____________
Five surgeons from big cities are discussing who makes the Best patients to
operate on. The first surgeon, from New York, says, 'I like to see Accountants
on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.'
The second, from Chicago, responds, 'Yeah, but you should try electricians!
Everything inside them is color coded.' The third surgeon, from Dallas, says,
'No, I really think librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical
order'. The fourth surgeon, from Gaffney chimes in: 'You know, I like
construction workers... Those guys always understand when you have a few parts
left over. But the fifth surgeon, from Washington, DC shut them all up when he
observed: 'You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on.
There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine, and the head and the
ass are interchangeable.
_______________
A man observed a sign in the window of a restaurant that read
Unique Breakfast, so he walked in and sat down.
The waitress brought him his coffee and asked him what he wanted.
"What's your Unique Breakfast?" he asked.
"Baked tongue of chicken!" she proudly replied.
"Baked tongue of chicken? Baked tongue of chicken! Do you have
any idea how disgusting that is? I would never even consider eating
anything that came out of a chicken's mouth!" he fumed.
Undaunted, the waitress asked, "What would you like, then?"
"Just bring me a hard boiled egg," the man replied.
______________
Every day, a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady at the coffee
machine, inhales a big breath of air, and tells her that her hair
smells nice.
After a week of this, she can't stand it anymore, takes her
complaint to a supervisor in the personnel department and
asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against him.
The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled and asks:
'What's sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair
smells nice?'
The woman replies, 'Its Keith. The midget.'
______________
The teacher asks kindergarten students what kind of medicines they
know and what they are used for. The first pupil: "Tylenol?"
Teacher: " Very good! And what is it used for?"
Pupil: "It is used for headaches."
Second pupil: "Nytol, Teacher."
Teacher: " Excellent. And what it is used for?"
Pupil: " To help you sleep."
Now it is Johnny's turn and he says: "Viagra."
Teacher: " Johnny, what do you think is it used for?"
Johnny: "It can be used for diarrhea."
Teacher: "Who told you this?"
Johnny: "Nobody, but every evening my mother tells my father ...
'Take a Viagra, maybe that little shit will get harder!'"
_______________
After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve.
"So, how is everything going?" inquired God.
"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and
sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is
wonderful, but I have just one problem.
It's these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other
two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them
on branches and snagging them on bushes. They're a real pain."
And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body
came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc. She felt that having
only two breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically balanced".
"That's a fair point," replied God, "But it was my first shot at this,
you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed
only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away."
And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes.
Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.
"Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?"
"Just fantastic," she replied, "But for one oversight. You see, all the
animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the
animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone."
God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How could
I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a
man from a part of you. Let's see....where did I put that useless boob?"
Now doesn't THAT make more sense than all that crap about the rib?
SYDESJOKES LIST
Good On The Pole
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001542.html
Great Ice Cream Commercial
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001543.html
_____________
PAPA Thorn
Don't Jumping
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=dont-jumping-elevator.jpg
DUCK!
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=dsign111.jpg
When Rock Was Young
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=Elton-tot.jpg
FRAUD!
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=FRAUD.jpg
Grimm Party
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=Grimm.JPG
_______________
FUN PAGES From Lorraine
Sitting In His Attorney's Office
http://tinyurl.com/cwuo8v
A Million Years Ago
http://tinyurl.com/d7q4sr
Trivia For Dummies
http://tinyurl.com/cek8vk
_______________
Buffalo Bill
Tuck In Shirt
http://www.buffaloschips.com/070204.htm
Turkey
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7701.htm
Turkish Gillette
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7702.htm
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
No comments:
Post a Comment