THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
The greatest gift we can give one another is rapt attentionto one another's existance.
~Sue S. Ebaugh
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS
It was incredibly cold yesterday. The temps were only around 30,
but the wind was very strong, making it seem a lot worse. I Couldn't
find any extra blankets, so I came down stairs and got a sleeping
bag and curled up on the couch with the dog, followed not long after
by the war department. We all snuggled up on the couch. Altho it
was a bit crowded, it was nice and cozy. Seems kindof strange that
this is supposed to be spring already.
Certainly does not feel like it. The snow storm we were supposed
to get missed us and dumped itself to the east and south of us.
But we got the cold n wind just the same. The war
department frets and worries about her flowers as many of them had
new buds on them and may not bloom because of the cold this year.
We are hoping it does not damage the peaches. We have a lot of peach
farms just north of town. And last year the cold was so bad in the spring
that it damaged the peach crop. Made fresh peaches too expensive to pick.
Another tradition that we have always observed was making home made
ice cream. It is a treat that seems long forgotten in these busy days.
We always take some of our fresh peaches and cut them up and add them
to the icecream. That and also strawberries. There is nothing better
on a hot summer day than home made peach or strawberry ice cream.
Living around here does have its advantages. There are a lot of fruit
farms making ready access to cherries, strawberries, peaches, apples,
blueberries, rasberries. and etc. We have a large freezer, so we always go out
and pick our own. Then we freeze it all. I know it is a lot of work.
And I am not sure if it really saves us anything. But there is nothing
better than to eat your own frozen fruits.
Turk the dog, aka Carlos the rat seems to think so, too. The other day,
I took out a quart of strawberries to thaw. He managed to get into them
altho they were not completely thawed out yet. He found out they are not
quite so good when they are still frozen:)
MOTHERS DAY is coming soon.
So, the postman has opened his jewlery shop.!!!
You will want to order this charm bracelet for a couple reasons.
Mom will love it, and besides which, the proceeds will be used to
support the expense of THE POSTMAN'S CORNER its a win win for
everbody.
A mother's love knows no boundaries, and now you can celebrate everything
that makes a mother so special with a stunning Italian charm bracelet.
This Mother's Day jewelry gift is an exclusive fine jewelry design from
The Bradford Exchange, superbly handcrafted and showcasing 17 individual
and interchangeable stainless steel charms.
Each charm on this Italian charm bracelet sparkles with genuine Swarovski®
crystals and gleaming 18K gold-plated accents. Delicate sculpted motifs,
elegant hanging charms and beautifully engraved sentiments tell Mom just
how much you love and admire her. The flexible band expands to fit any wrist,
and the custom gift box provides the perfect finishing touch. Celebrate Mom today,
tomorrow and always with this Mother's Day gift of a lifetime. Strong
demand is expected, so order now!
Comes with a money back guarantee.
Recommended by the postman.
I ordered one for my momma, how bout you?
http://www.tinyurl.com/cpzav9
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
THE COMICS
I got fired
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x011.html
Danger
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x012.html
Revenge
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x013.html
If you don't mind
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x014.html
adventures of Harry Potter
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x015.html
lost
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x016.html
you are here
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x017.html
Art was gleeful
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x018.html
my previous employer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x019.html
guess your age
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x020.html
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LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
invisible rope
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5284.html
lion vs man
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5285.html
traffic stop
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5286.html
the wine talking
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5287.html
how to wake up your girlfriend for sex
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5288.html
Australian golf
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5289.html
don't forget
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5290.html
brush your teeth!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5292.html
wash the car
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5291.html
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INTERESTING STUFF
SNL
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2291.html
one for the cat lovers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2292.html
10 creepiest videos on the net
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2293.html
top ten stripper pole fails
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2294.html
cat and the aquairium
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2295.html
Lying down on the psychiatrist's couch, the young man said to the
doctor, "I wanted to see you because I think I am gay."
"Oh?" said the doctor. "And what makes you think that?"
"Well, my grandfather was gay, and so was my father."
"That doesn't mean you're gay," said the psychiatrist. "We don't believe
that homosexuality is hereditary."
"Maybe not, but my two brothers are also gay."
"Really?" said the doctor, intrigued. "That's right. And so are my two
uncles and my cousin."
"That IS uncanny," said the psychiatrist, his interest greatly piqued.
"Tell me, isn't there anyone in your family who has sex with women?"
"Yes, sir," the young man said. "My sisters."
________________
A young married couple has difficulties conceiving a baby, so after a
while the wife, a blonde, consults her doctor, who recommends the minor
of three possible operations. The operation is performed, but a month later,
she's still not pregnant, so she goes to see the doctor again. This time he
recommends the medium operation, a somewhat more serious operation, but
still not as complicated as the third alternative. But, there's still no
result, and another month later she's back in the doctor's office, and
this time she gets the big one. After having recovered in some weeks,
the couple resumes normal marital activities, and this time they actually
succeed in conceiving a baby. Filled with joy, the young wife now sees the
doctor for the regular examination during pregnancy and says, "We're so
happy doctor, we're finally having a baby. But what was this third operation
actually all about? The first two weren't that bad, but this last one I think
must have been quite a job, I was dizzy for weeks after."
"Well," the doctor replies, "since the first two standard operations failed,
we started suspecting your method rather than your ability, so I made a
connection from your throat to your uterus."
____________
This guy wanted a parrot who talked. He asked the pet store manager
if there was a bird who was already speaking. The manager directed the
guy to a bird by the window. "This bird has a vocabulary of 1000 words
and another 50 phrases that would fit most occasions."
The guy bought the bird and took it home.
Next day, the guy was back in the pet store to complain. The bird hadn't
said a word. The pet store manager said, "That's not unusual. Why not buy a
few of the toys the bird had been used to playing with while here and put it
in his cage. That should get him more comfortable with his surroundings and
loosen him up." The man paid for the toys and took them home to the bird.
Two days later the guy showed back up. "Still not talking, huh?" asked the
manager. "Well, perhaps a birdbath would do the trick." The credit card was
whipped out, the purchase made, and the guy was back home with his new birdbath.
And, like clockwork, two days later the guy was back to complain that the
bird STILL hadn't said one word. This time the shop owner scratched his head
and said, "You know, sometimes the bird would be praised in his training
and allowed to ring this bell." The guy was hesitant, but he really
wanted to hear the bird talk, so he reluctantly purchased the bell.
Two days later, the guy was back in the shop. This time the pet shop owner
suggested the bird was lonely. The guy was upset that he'd have to purchase
ANOTHER bird when the first one wasn't talking. The pet shop owner told him
that, no, he wouldn't have to do that. Just buy a mirror and trick the bird
into thinking he had company. You guessed. Two days later, the man was back in
the store, this time with the parrot. The parrot was dead.
"What happened! Didn't the bird ever talk?" asked the pet store owner.
"Yep. Right before he died it said, 'Don't they sell any fucking birdseed
at that pet store?'"
_____________
Two men are standing at the top of a cliff. One has two budgies,
one on each shoulder. The other has a parrot and a shotgun.
The first guy jumps off the cliff and on the way down the birds
fly away. He crashes on the rocks below and rolls over on his
back. He looks up just in time to see his friend jump off too.
As the second guy falls the & parrot flies off, he pulls up his
shot gun and shoots the bird just before he too crashes onto the
rocks. They lie there groaning in agony for a bit before the first guy
says, "I really don't see what is supposed to be so great about
budgie jumping!" The second guy lets out a groan and says,
"I'm really not too impressed with free-fall parrot shooting either!"
____________
A new intern is getting a tour of the hospital he will be working
in. He walks past a room where a man is vigorously masturbating
non-stop, and asks the doctor why the man was doing such a thing
out in the open?
The doctor replies, "Oh he has a medical condition where the
sperm builds up quickly in his body, he has to masturbate
constantly or he will explode."
"Oh, I see," says the intern.
They walk past another room where the intern sees a man laying on
a stretcher getting a blowjob from a nurse.
Again, he asks the doctor "What's up with that?"
The doctor says, "Same condition, better medical plan."
____________
This joke was brazenly stolen from my friend
PAPA Thorn who publishes Over the Edge!
to subscribe, send a blank email to:
OverTheEdge-subscribe@Topica.com
recommended by Martin aka the postman...
Two California Highway Patrol Officers were cond
ucting speeding
enforcement on I-15, just north of the Marine Corps Air Station at
Miramar. One of the officers was using a hand held radar device to
check speeding vehicles approaching the crest of a hill. The officers
were suddenly surprised when the radar gun began reading
300 miles per hour. The officer attempted to reset the radar gun, but it
would not reset and then turned off. Just then a deafening roar over
the treetops revealed that the radar had in fact locked on to a USMC
F/A-18 Hornet which was engaged in a
low flying exercise near the location. Back at the CHP Headquarters the
Patrol Captain fired off a complaint to the USMC Base Commander. The reply
came back in true USMC style: Thank you for your letter. We can now complete
the file on this incident. You may be interested to know that the tactical
computer in the Hornet had detected the presence of, and subsequently locked on
to, your hostile radar equipment and automatically sent a jamming
signal back to it, which is why it shut down. Furthermore, an
Air-to-Ground missile aboard the fully armed aircraft
had also automatically locked on to your equipment location. Fortunately,
the Marine Pilot flying the Hornet recognized the
situation for what it was, quickly responded to the missile system alert
status and was able to override the automated defense system before
the missile was launched to destroy the hostile radar position.
The pilot also suggests you cover your mouths when cussing at them,
since the video systems on these jets are very high tech. Sergeant
Johnson, the officer holding the radar gun, should get his dentist to
check his left rear molar. It appears the filling is loose. Also, the snap
is broken on his holster. Thank you for your concern.
_____________
BUFFALO Bill
Kid In The Background
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72259.htm
Kite Surfer
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72260.htm
Meet My Doggie
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72261.htm
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SYDESJOKES LIST
Garfield - Owners Coffee
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001536.html
Why God Gave Arabs Camels
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001537.html
___________
PAPA Thorn
Alien bikers
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=alien_bikers.JPG
I WANT TO BELIEVE
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=believe.gif
Cadillac Grill
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=Cadillac_Grill.gif
Nose Drop
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=History-m-jackson.gif
Safari jeep
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=Cool-car-bamboo-jeep.jpg
________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
Squirrel Car Crash
http://tinyurl.com/da6u2k
Around The World In 80 Days
http://tinyurl.com/bhx6n9
Stunt Bike Draw 2
http://tinyurl.com/cmhsov
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THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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