Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
The apartment complex I managed had four buildings and covered
about half of a block with two buildings on Nimitz, one on Evergreen
and the one I lived in on Macaulay St. in a J shape with the laundry
room and parking areas in the center. We had just gotten back
from a birthday party for Buffy and one of her friends who's
birthday
was close to Buffy's and lived in the Evergreen building. We had
went
to Ferrell's Ice cream Parlor with the clowns and ice cream trough
and
most of the kids had been picked up. It was Feb. and right around
dusk
and I took an empty trash can and put four balloons filled with
oxy-acetylene
in it and set it out in the middle of the parking lot. It took three
tosses
to hit the can with a cigarette and then KA-Boom. The whole complex
lit up and you actually expected to see a mushroom cloud with that
big of a bang.
Everybody was laughing and I started to walk over to the porch where
everyone was sitting when four police officers walked out from
behind
the laundry room and they weren't very happy looking. They didn't
have a clue who was responsible till Buffy said, " My daddy made a
big boom." and then I was up against a wall being read the riot act.
An attempt to interject a little humor into the situation didn't
help much
and I think if they had been able to decide what I was guilty of
they
would have hauled me away right then. After telling me they were
going to
be watching me very closely and if they caught me making any more
noise they were going to make me into a poster child for police
brutality
they left and got back to what they had been there for in the first
place.
One of the tenants who lived in the Nimitz building had a son who
was
schizophrenic and he liked to go off his meds and stand in the
middle
of Nimitz Blvd and make cars swerve. There was six officers and
three
cars out front attempting to arrest him when the balloons went off.
That
was the fastest police response I have ever seen.
A word of advice. Since 9-11 people have become a lot less tolerant
towards things that go boom in the night. If you tried the same
thing
today you might find yourself at Gitmo being water boarded or just
shot.
Also if you try this trick inside a building you may knock the
windows and
your eardrums out. This is much louder than throwing an M-80 in a
dormitory
hallway, but that is a different story.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Keep your immune system in shape!
A healthy "Intestinal Flora" contributes to a healthy immune and
digestive system... After all, the intestinal tract is the largest
organ in the immune system. Since disease-causing bugs in the
intestine must compete with the "healthy" microbes already in
residence, daily P2 BioDigest is an effective way to help keep the
balance of your intestinal flora tipped toward the positive. Every
day you come into contact with millions of bacteria, viruses and
other potentially harmful substances that would love the chance to
live in your body. It's the job of your immune system to stop them
from getting in. So, if you want to stay healthy, take P2 BioDigest
for your immune system and be in tip-top shape.
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nun Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three nuns were in the church discussing various rumors
about the local priest. The first nun reported, "I was going through
Father's office the other day, and do you know what I found? A bunch
of pornographic magazines!"
The other nuns gasped. "What did you do?" they demanded.
"Well, of course I threw them in the trash," she replied.
The second nun said, "Well, I can top that. I was in the Father's
room putting away the laundry, and I found a bunch of condoms!
"Oh my!" gasped the other nuns, stunned at this apparent violation
of
the priest's chastity vow.
"What did you do???" they asked.
"I decided to teach him a lesson," said the second nun.
"I poked holes in all of the condoms!"
The third nun fainted.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Stripper Strike
http://www.buffalos
Billy's Plan
http://www.buffalos
Coke Job
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Elephant Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A horsefly kept biting an elephant near her tail. She kept swinging
her
trunk, but he was far out of reach.
A little sparrow observed this and flew down and snipped the
horsefly
in
half.
"Oh, thank you!" said the elephant. "Listen, if there's anything I
can ever
do for you, don't hesitate to ask."
The sparrow paused. "Well, ma'am -," he said.
"What is it," said the elephant. "You needn't be shy with me."
"Well," said the sparrow, "the truth is that all my life I wondered
how it
would feel to fuck an elephant."
"Go right ahead," said the elephant. "Be my guest!"
The sparrow began to fuck away. Up above them, a monkey got very
excited and
started to masturbate.
This shook a coconut loose and it hit the elephant smack on the
head.
"Ouch!" said the elephant.
The sparrow looked over from behind and said, "Am I hurting you,
dear?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Car Insurance Reduction!
We can help you reduce your auto insurance by over $500 a year!
Find Your Savings Today!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tax Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day, Tony died. When he was sent to be judged, he was told that
he
had committed a sin, and that he could not go to heaven right away.
He
asked what he did and God told him that he cheated on his income
taxes,
and that the only way he could get into heaven would be to sleep
with
a
250 pound, hopelessly stupid, butt-ugly woman for the next five
years
and enjoy it. Tony decided that this was a small price to pay for an
eternity in heaven. So off he went with this enormous woman,
pretending
to be happy. As he was walking along, he saw his friend Carlos up
ahead.
Carlos was with an even bigger, uglier woman than he was with. When
he
approached Carlos he asked him what was going on, and Carlos
replied, "I
cheated on my income taxes and scammed the government out of a lot
of
money... even more then you did." They both shook their heads in
understanding and figured that as long as they have to be with these
women, they might as well hang out together to help pass the time.
Now
Tony, Carlos, and their two beastly women were walking along,
minding
their own business when Tony and Carlos could have sworn that they
saw
their friend Jon up ahead, only this man was with an absolutely drop
dead gorgeous supermodel/centrefo
approached
the man and in fact it was their friend Jon. They asked him how is
he
with this unbelievable goddess, while they were stuck with these
god-awful women. Jon replied, "I have no idea, and I'm definitely
not
complaining. This has been absolutely the best time, and I have five
years of the best sex any man could hope for to look forward to.
There
is only one thing that I can't seem to understand. After every time
we
have sex, she rolls over and murmurs to herself, "Fucking income
taxes!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wizzit - Silky Smooth, Soft Skin Hair removal in a fraction of the
time. Perfect for your face, eyebrows, bikini, legs, underarms. The
Wizzit removes the hair from the root so there is no more growing
back for a while.
View Web Version
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sorority Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Canonical List of Sorority Girl Jokes
What does a sorority girl put behind her ears to make her more
attractive? Her ankles.
What is the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball?
You
can only put three fingers in a bowling ball. You could eat a
bowling
ball if you had to. You can't fit a sorority girl inside a bowling
ball.
How are a sorority girl and a bowling ball alike?
You can pick them up, stick your fingers in them, and throw them in
the
gutter and they always come back for more.
What is the difference between sorority girls and hookers ? Sorority
girls cost less per score.
What is the difference between a sorority girl and an elephant?
About
40
lbs. How do you equalize the two? Feed the elephant.
What's the first thing a sorority girl does in the morning?
Introduce
herself. Walks home.
What's the difference between a sorority girl and the Titanic? Only
1500
went down on the Titanic.
How can you tell if a sorority girl has achieved orgasm?
She drops her nail file.
What's a sorority girl's favorite wine?
"Daaadddy, I want to go to mi-ammmmi."
What do you get when you cross a sorority girl with an ape? Don't
know.
There is only so much an ape can be forced to do...
Why is a sorority girl like a door knob?
'Cause everyone gets a turn.
How do you get a sorority girl in your bed?
Grease her hips so she'll fit through the door and throw a twinkie
on
the bed.
Did you hear about the new sorority girl doll?
You put a ring on her finger and her hips expand.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Start Saving Now!
Over 15 Premium Movie Channels including HBO and Starz!
Over 100 All-Digital Channel and over 50 HD Channels FREE!!
Click for More Info:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parts Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Young Tim has just finished high school and, not being too bright,
he wants to get a job at a local mechanic's workshop in
Christchurch.
Tim spies this advert for a job in a Motor Spares Shop and hurries
over.
Unfortunately, when he steps in there are already 2 guys there
before him.
Tim with tears in his eyes explains to the manager that he really
needs
the job. Manager looks at him and says, "You know what Tim - I'd
really
like to give you this job but see these two guys are here before you
..
you're going to have be really something special to get this job you
know!"
Tim thinks now, mmmm, and then he says, "well boss, there is one
thing -
if you take a spark plug and stick it into my arse - I can tell you
what
type of spark plug it is."
The manager goes "Wow .. that's something - lets test you out!"
So Tim turns around and drops his pants. The boss takes a Bosch
spark plug
and shoves it into Tim's arse.
Tim goes "eeeeeeeeeeee ..... Bosch!!".
The boss, goes .. "Wow, that's really something - but lets test you
out
again!"
He takes a NGK spark plug and shoves it into Tim's arse.
Tim goes "eeeeeeeeeeee ..... NGK !!".
The boss, goes .. "Wow, you're really good .. but, one more time - I
need
to be sure. "
Boss thinks now, lets catch this guy out! He unzips his pants,
takes out
his penis and sticks it into Tim's arse.
Tim goes "eeeeeeeeeeeee .... Champion!!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Your old photos are in danger from fire, water, scratching, and
fading. Now industry leader ScanCafe can scan and repair your photo
heirlooms, creating digital versions you can share forever. Act
today and we'll give you $29 off your first order.
Why pay hundreds at a local store, or spend weekends doing it
yourself? With ScanCafe's quality and pricing of about 25 an image,
it's easy and affordable to preserve ALL your memories:
- Easy - just send us your images, we handle the rest.
- Nearly any kind of image: slides, negatives, paper photos--even
childrens' artwork.
- The #1 scanning service, according to Money magazine.
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sperm Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man and his wife were trying to have a baby, but after
several months they still had no success. The man decided
to go to the doctor to see what the problem was.
The doctor told him, "Maybe you have a low sperm count.
I'll need to run a few tests, so take this cup. I'll need
a semen sample."
The man took the cup, went to the restroom, and handled
his business. Afterward, a lady walked into the office to
find out if her baby (still in her womb) was healthy. She
started talking to the doctor about how excited she was to
be having her first child. While she was chatting, the man
walked out of the restroom with his sample but saw the
doctor with the lady, so he put the cup down on a table
and started pacing back and fourth.
The doctor noticed this and told the lady, "I'll have your
test results in a moment. Please have a seat while I finish
with this patient. We have coffee and donuts along with some
magazines on the table over there."
The lady sat down, and the man walked over to the doctor and
started talking about how he and his wife trying to
conceive.
While the man and the doctor were talking, the lady
interrupted and asked, "Excuse me, but the donuts are dry,
and I don't drink coffee. Do you have any more milk to go
with them."
The doctor says, "Milk? We never had any milk here."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tool Band-It" - Now a job for 2 can be done by 1!
Billy Mays uses Tool Band-It" to keep all his tools and parts within
reach! Only $19.95 plus FREE Bonus Head Lamp!
Tool Band-It uses powerful Neo Magnetic Technology:
Safe & Secure
Light Weight & Flexible
One Size Fits All
Order Now!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Sisters Of The Heart
http://silverandgol
Seasons In Time
http://candlelitedr
No More Tomorrows
http://candlelitedr
BibleStudy: Financial Stewardship
http://www.shangral
ml
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Your PC may be suffering from serious file errors in your WINDOWS
registry which may be the reason why your PC is running so slow, or
crashing and freezing from time to time. Also, these can lead to
major system problems and possible memory leaks.
Below are instructions that will enable you to Increase Your
Computer's Speed, Power, Stability and Reliability in just a few
minutes.
If after completing the free Diagnostic Test it is brought to your
attention that your computer's registry does contain file "errors",
then it may be in your computer's best interest to fix the
potentially harmful file errors in your registry.
Press below to launch the Diagnostics Test download now:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
CASA BATLLO - HOUSE OF BONES
http://www.shangral
Elephant Hotel!
http://www.shangral
View Blocked Caller ID Via Wesley
http://www.trapcall
Charmin Toilet Paper
http://www.sitorsqu
*+*+*+*+*+*+
You probably think I've lost my mind - and maybe I have - but just
visit this site right now and in 5 minutes you''ll have this awesome
$497 Internet business training kit as my gift to you. No kidding!
Why am I giving this away?
I finally got so sick and tired of watching fakers and bigmouths
sell wrong information about how to make a fortune online... that
I've to decided give away my awesome Internet Business Training
System so I can help people finally get the truth!
See... I've made a fortune online and I've helped over 100,000
customers to unlock the secrets to getting started online - the
right way.
Press here to Grab it quick - right now - before I change my mind...
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv) Via Wesley
Are U being Throttled ?
http://broadband.
Create & Manage a Podcast Blog
http://podcastgen.
Hide Email Address from Spam Bots
http://www.siteup.
--
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Here is some more information about this new way to watch
television:
1) All of the programming is uncensored!
2) There are hundreds of channels from around the world to watch!
And new channels are added every day!
3) Hundreds of Radio stations to listen to anytime, all of the time!
And new stations are added daily!
4) All of these channels are available 24 hours per day right from
your PC and laptop!
5) No additional hardware is needed!
6) You won't have to pay a cable or satellite bill any longer!
Press Here For More Information and To Download Now:
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
https://www.
Kitty Korner
http://www.cats.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
FREE*- DATING SITE and DATING COMMUNITY!
Are you still SINGLE? Last week we sent you an email to notify you
about our new dating network that is -FREE- to join, and not only do
we have thousands of single women and men located right in your
city, but we have the EXACT SINGLE women and men that you would want
to meet and date this week!
PRESS HERE TO JOIN FOR NO COST (MUST BE 18 and OLDER):No Credit Card
Required:
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Does your computer seem to be running slower than usual? Well, if
you've downloaded any music, movie clips, or games in the past 2
months, then your computer may be infected with "Ad-Ware" and
"Spy-Ware"!
Advertisers use downloadable music as a vehicle to "legally" add
"Spy-Ware" and "Ad-Ware" to consumer PCs. If you're suspicious that
Internet Advertisers have added "Ad-Ware" or "Spy-Ware" to your
computer, then here's your chance to scan your computer at no
charge.
Press Here to Begin Scan (YOU WILL NOT BE CHARGED FOR THIS):
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Clips
veux_jouer_le_
http://www.buffalos
Love Is Blind
http://www.buffalos
YOB
http://www.buffalos
Zales Commercial
http://www.buffalos
Pubic Hair
http://www.buffalos
Put Off The wedding
http://www.buffalos
Baby Dog Duet
http://www.buffalos
Bad Ass Police Dog
http://www.buffalos
Bad Ass Texas Rabbit
http://www.buffalos
Balloon Dog
http://www.buffalos
Baptizing Kid
http://www.buffalos
Barmaid Of The Month
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sam is over at Anni's house after meeting her parents for the
very first time. While at the supper table he figured it was
a good time to get on the right side of his future mother-in-law.
Sam turned to Anni's mother and remarked, "These are excellent
fishcakes."
Anni pulled Sam close to her and whispered in his ear, "You should
go and wash your hands, those are peanut butter cookies!"
Two teens had been lovers for a few weeks, but the boy was always
after the girl to quit smoking. One afternoon, she lit up after some
lovemaking, and he said, "You really ought to quit."
She, getting tired of his nagging, said, "I really enjoy a good
cigarette after sex."
He replied, "But they stunt your growth." She asked if he ever
smoked, and he replied that he had never.
Smiling and lifting her gaze to his groin, she said, "So, what's
your
excuse then?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
We want to give you a FREE web site that works
hard for you around the clock! 24 hours a day
365 days a year while you lay back and collect
your cash.
* No Cold Calling
* No Experience Necessary
* No Complicated Programs
Your site is 100% complete and ready for you
Check out what your new website will look like.
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Condom Dress
http://www.buffalos
Price Check
http://www.buffalos
Lacking Energy
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Windshield Wonder is the easy reach microfiber window cleaner that
eliminates straining and stretching. It uses a 16" handle to help
reach all the way down to the dash and base of your rear window.
Windshield Wonder is also perfect for moisture and fog removal.
Get two for the price of one when you order today.
Order now
View Web Version
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a woman from Buffalo
who challenged a fellow to show
that he could pee
higher than she
How could the stout fellow say no?
So they went on out back of the pub
She put her puss on the wall and said "Bub,
I'm goin' first
I'm about to burst"
then proceeded to let go a flood.
She managed about three feet high
So the bub whipped open his fly
grabbed hold of his thing
but the "lady" did sing
"The rules are no hands by the by!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yoshi Blade - Razor Sharp Ceramic Knife
Introducing the razor-sharp, feather-light ceramic slicing knife.
Unlike steel knife blades, YoshiBlade stay razor sharp. In fact,
this space-age material is so hard that professional chefs use
ceramic to sharpen their steel knives.
Say goodbye to old fashioned steel knives.
As a bonus you'll get the Ceramic Potato Peeler.
View Web Version
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young blonde, having just returned from a great week-long vacation
in
South America, walked into the local bank and asked about exchanging
currency.
The teller said he would try to help her.
After she plopped a huge wad of bills onto the counter, the teller
then
counted it, made a phone call, and returned to count out $27.18.
The wide-eyed woman gasped. "You mean to tell me that's all I get
for
that mountain of bills?"
"I'm afraid so Miss," replied the teller, "That's the current rate
of
exchange according to our foreign exchange section."
"Good Grief!" she hissed, "and I gave that cheap skunk breakfast,
too!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
TITAN Peeler - The World's Best Peeler!
The Titan Peeler is the world's best peeler. Made of long lasting,
dishwasher safe Stainless steel it has no equal. Long lasting blades
help cut vegetables quickly and easily and slice both hard and soft
cheese perfectly, every time. Each Peeler has dual action motion to
cut the peeling time in-half. Don't waste anymore time! Order
yours today!
What you get
*Handle and cutting/peeling blade.
*Julienne Blade for perfect julienne slices of your favorite
vegetables every time.
*Slicing Board that turns the Titan Peeler into the perfect slicer.
*Garnishing Book with tips and tricks on preparing fruits and
vegetables.
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cooking Request
A man gets up one morning to find his wife in the kitchen cooking.
He looks to see what she's cooking, and sees one of his socks in the
frying pan.
'What are you doing?' he asks.
'I'm doing what you asked me to do last night when you came to bed
VERY drunk,' she replied.
Completely puzzled, the man walks away thinking to himself, 'I don't
remember asking her to cook my sock......
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pocket Fisherman
It's the best gift you can give to any kid or adult! You've seen
this Pocket Fisherman for years and always wanted one - now get it
for only $29.95. Bonus Offer - get additionals for only $14.95
Pocket Fisherman Features: 1. Hinged Double-Flex Rod That Folds When
Not In Use 2. Mini Tackle Box Contained In The Handle Includes Hook,
Line & Sinker 3. Reel Is Replaceable With Reel Cartridge 4.
Automatic Anti-Reverse Prevents The Handle From Turning Backwards
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1575
The Float
Diana: I wonder what the float will be?
BJ: With Katie in charge,,,,who knows?
Diana: How are they going to pull it?
BJ: I imagine they have a plan.
The hammering and sawing continues through the night.
The next morning BJ and Diana awaken and go outside and
see a huge Space Shuttle in the backyard.
BJ: Whoa, where did that come from? Not from lumber.
Diana: They must have brought one in from the Cape.
Sandi: Like it?
Rudy: I think it looks pretty real.
BJ: You guys made this?
Katie: We missed a small spot on the underbelly but overall it is
pretty
close.
Diana: Gasp! I can not tell it from the real thing.
Sandi: Great. How about these space suits?
Sandi holds up three space suits.
BJ: They look perfect. How are you going to tow that thing
downtown?
Katie: I will be right back... Zoom!
A minute later HONK HONK!!!
A huge 18 wheeler with NASA painted on the side pulls up in the
yard.
BJ: Where did you get that?
Katie: It is your PT Cruiser, I just slapped this body over it and
made it
sound loud.
To be Continued
The Herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
No virus found in this incoming message.
Checked by AVG.
Version: 8.0.100 / Virus Database: 269.23.21/1456 - Release Date:
5/20/2008 6:45 AM
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch format to Traditional
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe
No comments:
Post a Comment