THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
I Love This Country!
It's The Government That Scares Me!?
______________
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===========================
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
You ever wonder about that matter of fate? or timing, or whatever
you want to call it? I suppose that people can site shining examples
of what I am referring to. Like the fellow who missed his flight only
to find out that it crashed in the middle of the ocean. Was it fate
or some mystical power that somehow guided him to miss the flight?
What I am talking about is perhaps not so grand. But the same principle
applies. We have a large two story home. two bathrooms. The one downstairs
is a long hike away in the middle of the night. But what, may I ask
causes my bladder to squawk loudly enough to wake me up at a really in
opportune moment? That is when I get up, stumble around in the dark,
out in the hall, and find the bathroom door locked. Because oldest son
found it necessary to make his own trip to the john about 1 minute sooner
than me. All night to go take a leak, but was it karma? or deja vu?
or what do you call it? I'm the one who had to walk all the way down
stairs to use the other bathroom. Oh well, I suppose that is just one
of life's questions that you are simply left to ponder.
FROM: THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU OF
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER:
Ikea To Take Over GM
IKEA has announced its intention to take over GM
and sell cars.
WE ARE IN DEEP
SHIT . . .
Have you figured out
where to start yet???
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
__________
THE COMICS
heavy cream
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z001.html
ready?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z002.html
buy a vowel
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z003.html
whats in there?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z004.html
nudist beach
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z005.html
secretaries
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z006.html
blogging and drinking
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z007.html
bumps
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z008.html
_________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
cool car
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5402.html
Mulson's light
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5403.html
office flirt
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5404.html
caramel dip
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5405.html
intense massage
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5406.html
the vacuum cleaner salesman
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5407.html
stuck in your head
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5408.html
A man and his wife were watching a TV program on Psychology, when the man
turned to his wife and said, "I bet you can't tell me something that will
make me happy and sad at the same time."
She said, "You've got the biggest penis of all your friends."
_______________
An old geezer in the old folks home took a fancy to an old lady who is also
staying at the home. One day he gets UP enough courage to tell her he wants
to make love to her. She agrees and suggests that when everyone else is gone
for a day trip, they will stay behind and get to it. He goes to her room on
the day and asks her how she likes it. She says, "I used to like it when a man
went down on me." He says he would love to and goes for it.
After about 30 seconds he comes back up and says, "I'm sorry. I afraid I
just can't go on. It smells rotten down there."
She says, "It must be my arthritis."
He looks at her and says, "Surely you can't get arthritis down there.
And even if you could, it wouldn't cause that horrible smell."
She says, "No, my arthritis is in my shoulder and I can't wipe my ass."
_____________
A group of one hundred freshmen from McGill University each contributed
10 bucks to the kitty. When the money was collected, they drew lots to see
which one would have the night's pleasure of visiting Montreal's most
famous call girl who charges one thousand dollars for a super sex fling.
That night the winner, a love-starved, panting youth named Spencer, went
to her luxurious boudoir and handed her the money.
"That's a huge sum of money for a college boy to have," she told him.
He explained the entire situation to her, telling her how all the boys had drawn
lots to see who would have the joy of her shapely favors.
She was touched by the story and remembered her early days when a buck looked
plenty big in her purse. With softening heart she said, "I'm going to do something
that I've never done before. I'm going to give you back your money."
Then she gave him back his ten dollars.
______________
Sandy and John were an extremely liberal, though not especially bright,
white couple. Wanting to begin a family, they decided they wanted to have
a black baby, and set to work.
Nine months later, the fruits of their labor was born: a lovely white girl.
Pleased but disappointed, John decided to ask a black man at work why they hadn't
parented a black baby. Realizing that John was somewhat sluggish, the fellow
took him aside and asked, "Is your wanker at least a foot long?"
John had to admit that it was not. "And is it at least four inches wide?"
Once more John replied in the negative. "Well, man, there's your problem!"
the guy slapped him on the back. "You let in too much light!"
______________
A man goes up to Jill at a bar and says to her, "I've got a condom with
your name on it."
Jill says to him, "You must be mistaken my name's not'Trojan Extra
Small'."
___________
The supervisor for the Union Of Road Construction
Workers called the meeting to order.
"Men -- we've agreed on a new deal with the state.
We'll no longer have to work FOUR days a week!"
"HOOORAY!!!" the crowd cheered.
"We'll quit work at 4 PM and not 5 PM!"
"HOORAY!!!" the crowd roared.
"We don't have to be in until 11 AM instead of
10 AM!"
"HOORAY!!!" the crowd thundered.
"And now, even though 99% of the roads in the
country are blocked by traffic cones, we'll
only have to work on Wednesdays!! "
Silence.
A voice from the back of the room asks, "You
mean, EVERY Wednesday?"
_____________
BUFFALO Bill
Talking Italian
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81829.htm
Tattoo Remover
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81830.htm
Rocking Horse Ride
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81831.htm
______________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Professor Pavlov
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001574.html
Job Interview
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001575.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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