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I was scanning the tv channels this evening, or this morning, whatever you want to call it, while
composing the list, and I happened across a "tractor pull" on the racing channel. Man, that ain't
what I remember when I was a kid! Loud hot-rods in the auditorium that had very little resemblance to tractors at all, and guys who were competing to win a 50 thousand dollar purse from all over the
nation at this thing. Sheeshe! Growing up on the farm back home, I remember when our town had
the local shindig...we called it "sour kraut days" because of the
area's high amount of population with Germantic descent.
The chamber of commerce gave away free sour kraut at the band shelter, the carnival filled the main
street, the high school band played all day, and the crowning event of the evening was a
REAL TRACTOR PULL.
For you city slickers who don't know what these things are, local farmers would come to town
with their most powerful tractor, hook on to a skid(a hay rack with the wheels removed)
loaded with sand bags..and see who could drag the
silly looking thing the farthest down the street before stopping. Every so often, fellows along the edge of
the track would hop on the skid, thereby making it heavier and heavier the further you went.
One by one, every farmer had a go at it, all the while with cheers from the crowd happily munching
free sausage and kraut. My brother
and me one year washed the chit off the new 730 John Deer my dad bought, and drove into town.
We had a more powerful tractor at the time, which was a 4020 John Deer, but Dad was especially
proud of the 730 because it was his first "brand spankin new" tractor.
We won first place for the light weight division.
Mom still displays the goofy trophy we won on her mantel at home.
I think first prize in the light division also included season passes
to the muninciple swimming pool, and free cherry coke sodas,
compliments of the local soda fountain at the Rexall drugstore.
Ya know, That's the problem with some things.
People always think they are gonna "improve them".
They forget what made it fun in the first place.
============
*America is a land of wonders, in which everything is in constant motion
and every change seems an improvement. No natural boundary seems to be
set to the efforts of man; and in his eyes what is not yet done is only
what he has not attempted to do.
*America is great because she is good. If
*America ceases to be good, America will cease to be great.
*Amongst democratic nations, each new generation is a new people.
*Democracy and socialism have nothing in common but one word, equality.
But notice the difference: while democracy seeks equality in liberty,
socialism seeks equality in restraint and servitude.
*The American Republic will endure, until politicians realize they can
bribe the people with their own money.
- All from Alexis de Tocqueville, 1805 - 1859
============
FROM: THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU OF
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Microsoft has announced that it has changed its format for its
new Vista operating system. After much controversy and heat
from the media, spokesmen for Microsoft say it more
accurately reflects its company motives to the user...
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman!
THE COMICS
fun working out
http://www.thepostm
a fair and balanced leader
http://www.thepostm
busted
http://www.thepostm
the stupid burglar
http://www.thepostm
don't try this at home-the invisible rope
http://www.thepostm
thats nasty!
http://www.thepostm
THE COMICS
intelligent Roger
http://www.thepostm
drop it Harry drop it!
http://www.thepostm
Damn it Fred...
http://www.thepostm
big boobs count
http://www.thepostm
I lost my dog
http://www.thepostm
yahhhhhhhhooooooooo
http://www.thepostm
uhh ohhhh
http://www.thepostm
reflexes
http://www.thepostm
men and women
http://www.thepostm
dumb sign
http://www.thepostm
THE JOKES
Three men were flying on a plane over the jungle when it
crashed. They were the only people who survived. They decided
that starting the next morning one of them would go out and make
weapons and see if he could kill anything.
So the next morning the first man went out. He didn't come back
till about noon. When they saw him they ran to him and helped
him carry the deer back to the plane wreckage. They asked him how he killed it.
He said "I find tracks...I follow tracks...I kill deer."
So the next morning the second guy set out. He too came back at
noon. When they saw him they ran to him and helped him carry the
buffalo he had killed back to the plane wreckage.
They asked him how he had killed it.
He said "I find tracks...I follow tracks...I kill buffalo."
The next morning the third guy went out. The other two were
watching and watching for him. When it was almost sundown and he
still hadn't returned they started getting worried. Then they
saw a person stumbling towards them he looked awful, really bad
cuts and a broken arm. They went and helped him to the fire they
had made and asked him what had happened.
He said "I find tracks...I follow tracks...and.
____________
Two strangers are sitting in adjacent seats on an airplane. One guy says
to the other, "Let's talk. I hear that the flight will go faster if you
strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
The other guy, who had just opened a good book, closes it slowly, takes
off his glasses and asks, "What would you like to discuss?"
The first guy says, "Oh, I don't know; how about Nuclear Power?"
The other guy says, "OK, that could make for some pretty interesting
conversation. But let me ask you a question first: A horse, a cow, and a
deer all eat the same stuff, but the deer excretes pellets; the cow, big
patties; and the horse, clumps of dried grass. Why is that?"
The first guy says, "I don't know."
The other guy says, "Oh? Well then, do you really think you're qualified
to discuss Nuclear Power when you don't know s**t?"
____________
A parent decreed one Christmas that she was no longer going to
remind her children of their thank-you note duties. As a result
their grandmother never received acknowledgments of the generous
checks she had given. The next year things were different, however.
"The children came over in person to thank me," the grandparent
told a friend triumphantly.
"How wonderful!" the friend exclaimed. "What do you think caused
the change in behavior?"
"Oh, that's easy," the grandmother replied.
"This year I didn't sign the checks."
____________
A group of nuns were traveling in a car when it had a flat tire. They got out
and attempted to change it, but being rather unworldly,
they had no idea how to go about it.
Fortunately, a truck came along and the driver offered to change it for them.
They gratefully accepted. As the trucker jacked up the car,
it slipped from the jack. "Son-of-a-bitch!
"Sir, that is inappropriate language," the eldest nun said.
"We understand you're upset, but must you use such language?"
"My apologies, Sister," he replied, and tried again.
It slipped again and nearly smashed his fingers.
"Son-of-a-bitch!
"Please, sir, we would ask you again to not use such language,"
the nun scolded. "If changing our tire is causing you to do so,
perhaps it would be best if you didn't help us."
"I'm sorry, Sister, but I get so upset that it just comes out,"
the trucker replied.
"Well," said the nun, "say something else when you get upset.
Say something like 'Dear Lord, help me'."
Once more, the trucker attempted to jack up the car and again it slipped.
He began to blurt out "Son..."
but quickly caught himself and said, "Dear Lord, help me."
At that, the car miraculously rose into the air all by itself.
Staring in amazement, the nuns exclaimed, "Son-of-a-bitch!
____________
Two deaf men were talking on their coffee break,
about being out late the night before.
The first man said," My wife was asleep when I got home,
so I was able to sneak into bed, and not get into trouble."
The second deaf man said, " Boy you're lucky. My wife was wide awake,
waiting for me in bed, and she started swearing
at me and giving me hell for being out so late."
The first deaf man asked, " So what did you do?"
"I turned out the light," the second man replied.
____________
A fellow was walking along a country road and came upon a farmer working in his field.
The man called out to the farmer and asked how long it would take him to get to the next town.
The farmer didn't answer. So, after waiting a bit, the fellow started walking again.
After the man had gone about 100 yards, the farmer yelled, "About 20 minutes."
Confused, the man turned back toward the farmer and inquired,
"Why didn't you tell me that when I asked you?"
"Well," said the farmer, "I didn't know how fast you could walk."
BUFFALO'S
Movies
McDonalds Fishing
http://www.buffalos
McDonalds
http://www.buffalos
Dog Training
http://www.buffalos
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman!
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