[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner!





welcome to:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
where the world goes for its daily dose of humor!
(made in the USA)

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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

Postman:
Can you still get that free fleece blanket you offered a while back?
My mom loves it and I want one for myself.
Gina.

Sure Gina...
just sign up for it.
the postman


click here for your blanket:
http://www.tinyurl.com/ysrbur

FROM: THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU OF
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Football practice was delayed on Monday for nearly two hours
for the Kansas City Chiefs. One of the players, while on
his way to the locker room happened to look down and notice
a suspicious looking, unknown white powdery substance on
the practice field. Coach Dick Vermeil immediately suspended
practice while the FBI was called in to investigate.
After a complete field analysis, the FBI determined
that the white substance unknown to the Chiefs players
was the goal line. Practice was resumed when the FBI decided
that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again.

Recommended by the postman...


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We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman!


LET'S GO TO THE MOVIES!

the fart song
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/movies124.html

sensitivity training
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/movies122.html

can I have some?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/movies123.html

she wants to know
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/movies125.html

surprise from Iraq
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/movies126.html



THE COMICS

a terrorist?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v016.html

poor dear
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v017.html

snow white
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v018.html

clean livin
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v019.html

hi mom
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v020.html

Herman
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v021.html

the life guard
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v022.html

the bathroom poet
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v023.html



THE JOKES!

The Island of Trid
Once upon a time, in the middle of the ocean, there was the Island of Trid.
It seems that most of the Island of Trid was covered by a large mountain. On this mountain lived a
Giant. The Giant did not allow Trids on his mountain. If a Trid dared to climb onto the mountain,
the Giant would kick him into the ocean. Trids are notoriously bad swimmers, and frequently drowned
when kicked into the ocean.
The Trids were a very sexual people, and the population had grown quite large. Every square inch of
the island, except the mountain, was crowded with Trids.
The Trids spent their days crowded together, dreaming of the open space available on the ever
visible mountain. Every few days, a Trid would decide he couldn't stand the crowds any more. He
would start to climb the mountain, and the Giant would kick the Trid into the ocean.The Trids were
a very depressed people.
One day a traveling Rabbi visited the Island of Trid. Despite their overcrowded conditions, the
Trids were extremely generous to this man of God.
The Rabbi decided to return the favor, and to go plead the Trid's case to the Giant. "Surely the
Giant can be convinced to share some of the mountain with you," the Rabbi explained.
The Trids were horrified. "Please don't go, Rabbi", the Trids implored. "The Giant will kick you
into the ocean, and you will surely drown."
The Rabbi was stubborn, and insisted that he talk to the Giant. The Trids sent out every boat they
had. They formed a ring around the island, so that they would be able to rescue the Rabbi.
The Rabbi started walking towards the mountain. No sign of the Giant.
He walked through the foothills, and there was no sign of the Giant.
He started up the slopes of the mountain, further than any Trid had ever been. Still no sign of the Giant.
Finally he reached the summit of the mountain. There the Giant was waiting for him. The Rabbi asked
"Tell me Giant, why have you allowed me to climb to the top of the mountain, without kicking me off
the moment I started climbing?"
And the Giant replied, "Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids!"
________________

Saturday 21 April
Saw him in the evening and he was acting really strangely.
I'd been shopping in the afternoon with the girls and was a bit late meeting him - thought it might be that.
The bar was really crowded and loud, so I suggested we go somewhere quieter to talk.
He was still very subdued and distracted so I suggested we went somewhere nice to eat.
All through dinner he just didn't seem himself - he hardly laughed and didn't seem to be
paying any attention to me or to what I was saying. I just knew that something was wrong.
He dropped me back home and I wondered if he was going to come in.
He hesitated but followed.
I asked him what was wrong, but he just half shook his head and turned the television on.
After about ten minutes of silence I said that I was going upstairs to bed.
I put my arms around him and told him that I loved him deeply. He just gave a sigh and a sad sort of smile.
He didn't follow me up immediately but came up later and, to my surprise,
we made love - but he still seemed distant and a bit cold.

Cried myself to sleep -I think he's planning to leave me - maybe he's found someone else.
===============
MAN'S DIARY:
Saturday 21 April
Broncos lost. Gutted. Got a shag though. 

________________


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recommended by Martin aka the postman

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At the church's marriage marathon, the minister asked Ralph on his 50th wedding anniversary,
to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he managed to stay married to the same woman all these years.
Ralph replied to the audience "Well, I've treated her well, spent money on her,
but mostly I took her traveling on special occasions."
The minister inquired "Trips to where?"
"For our 25th anniversary, I took her to Italy."
The minister then said, "Ralph, you are a terrific example to all husbands.
Please tell the audience what you are planning for your wife on your 50th anniversary?"
Ralph said, "I'm gonna go get her."
____________________

A king, who had three beautiful daughters for marriage, made the 
statement that any prince in the kingdom who could pass certain tests 
could marry his choice of the three.
One of the daughters was a blonde, one a brunette, and one a red-head.
All the princes in the kingdom tried to pass the tests and failed.
One day Prince Charming came up on his white charger and said to the 
king, "I understand you have three beautiful daughters for marriage."
And the king said, "Yes, if you pass certain tests."
So the king explained the tests to him and Prince Charming went forth 
into the world.
A year later, he came back and told the king of all the dragons he 
had slain, of all the fair maidens he had rescued, and of all the 
battles he had fought.
The king said, "Son, you may have your choice of my daughters for 
marriage. Which do you choose?"
Which do you think he choice?
He chose the king because this is really a fairy tale.

_______________

TODAY'S FREE STUFF:
FREE LUCKY CHARMS

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The following conversation took place one morning between
a wife and her husband. They were discussing government
cost cuts that they recently heard about in the paper.
"Steve," his wife said, while reading the newspaper,
"it looks like our government is going to cut overhead
and trim down the military forces. They are going to eliminate
six over-aged destroyers."
To which the husband replies, "Sorry to hear that, dear.
I'm sure you'll miss your mother being gone."


THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman!






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