[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For 3-8-11

 



Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

Working in India

BHUBANESHWAR, India (AP) - Indian police detained two people after an
angry mob of fired workers burned to death a senior executive of a steel
factory, an official said Friday.
After learning they were laid off, about a dozen workers attacked a
vehicle carrying Radhey Shyam Roy as he was leaving the factory in
eastern Orissa state on Thursday, dousing the Jeep with gasoline and
setting it on fire, said police Superintendent Ajay Kumar Sarangi.

Two other people in the vehicle were allowed to flee but Roy, 59, was
trapped inside and later died of severe burns, Sarangi said.

Police were questioning two workers and their formal arrest on murder
charges was likely, Sarangi told The Associated Press. The steel factory
is in Bolangir district, nearly 250 miles (400 kilometers) west of
Bhubaneshwar, the capital of Orissa state.

Incidents of industrial violence are common in India, where workers
often target executives in cases of wage disputes and job losses.

In 2008, scores of dismissed employees of an Italian manufacturing
company, Graziano Transmissioni India, used iron rods and wooden sticks
to beat to death the company's local chief executive officer on the
outskirts of New Delhi.

Working in the USA

HELENA, Mont. (AP) - Workers at a plant in Helena recently acquired by
Boeing will likely have steady work for another two decades following
the Air Force's decision to award a $35 billion defense contract to the
company, a Boeing spokesman said.

The Helena facility makes the main landing gear beams for 767 widebody
jetliners, which the Air Force intends to use for its new fleet of
aerial refueling tankers.

"That program, due to orders, was coming to an end," Boeing spokesman
Don Schmidt told the Independent Record. "This contract really extends
it out for another 20 years."

Boeing acquired the plant in Helena in November from Summit Aeronatics
Group. About 135 workers are employed at the facility.

The defense contract was announced Thursday by the Air Force. The new
jets will replace the Air Force's aging fleet of KC-135 tankers -
another Boeing plane - many of which date to the Eisenhower era.

"This news means jobs for Boeing-Helena and Montanans for years to
come," said U.S. Sen. Max Baucus, D-Mont., in a statement. "We're
working hard at every level to boost manufacturing in Montana and this
brings us another step toward good-paying jobs to lead the economy
forward. I'm pleased to see an American company win the contract but
even more thrilled that this will result in real jobs for Montana
workers."

He said 13 years ago Boeing shut the Summit Aeronatics Group out of its
list of suppliers, but changed its mind after Baucus invited the company
to the state to meet with Summit.

The Boeing staff was so impressed, Baucus said, it added Summit to its
list of suppliers.

Baucus said that Boeing told him the company now has 30 suppliers and
vendors in Montana and spends more than $7.5 million annually in the
state.

buffalo says

To the people who sent my job to India, If you go there for a plant
tour, better wear your Nomex underwear. Proud to have been an American
Worker and proud to know our pilots won't be getting their gas from an
Airbus.

Enjoy the chips... buffalo

A newsletter you may enjoy

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Olympic Chips
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It is the Olympic men's figure skating. Out comes the Russian
competitor he skates around to some classical music in a slightly dull
costume performs some excellent leaps but with out any great artistic
feel for the music.

The Judges' scores read: Britain 5.8 Russia 5.9 United States 5.5
Ireland 6.0

Next comes the American competitor in a sparkling stars and stripes
costume, skating to some rock and roll music. He gets the crowd
clapping , but technically not so good as the Russian slightly
mislanding a triple Salchow and losing the centre during a spin. But
artistically a more satisfying performance.

The Judges' scores read: Britain 5.8 Russia 5.5 United States 5.9
Ireland 6.0

Finally out comes the Irish competitor wearing a tatty old donkey
jacket, with his skates tied over his wellies. He reaches the ice trips
straight away and bangs his nose which starts bleeding. Tries to get up
staggers a few paces then slips again. Spends his entire 'routine'
getting up then slipping over again. Finally he crawls off the ice a
tatty and bleeding mess.

The Judges' scores read: Britain 0.0 Russia 0.0 United States 0.0
Ireland 6.0

The other 3 judges turn to the Irish judge and demand in unison "How the
hell can you give that mess 6.0"

To which the Irish judge replies "You've gotta remember, it's damn
slippy out there"

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Pirate Chips
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Pirate Pick-up Lines

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"Ya certainly put the shiver in me timber."

"See this hook? Variable speed with five alternate attachments,
Baby."

"Nice poop deck on ya, lassie. Care fer a swabbin'?"

"Avast, me pretty! Strike your panties and prepare to be boarded."

"I've hidden booty all over the Caribbean -- but never have I seen
one like yours!"

"That's NOT my parrot talking, Sweetie!"

"That's a lovely pair of 8-pounders you have there."

"My peg-leg's ribbed for your pleasure."

"Why not climb my main mast and I'll visit your crow's nest."

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Oral Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AN ODE TO ORAL SEX

FOR THE GIRLZ

Penis breath, a lover's dread,
Is what you get when you give head.
Unpleasant as it tends to be,
Be grateful that he doesn't pee.

It's times like this, you wonder why,
You bothered reaching for his fly.
But it's too late, can't be a tease,
Accept the facts, get on your knees.

You know you've got a job to do,
So open wide and shove it through,
Lick the tip then take it all.
Don't drag your teeth or he might bawl.

Slide up and down, use your tongue.
And feel the precum start to run,
Your jaw it aches, your neck is numb,
So when the hell's he gonna cum?

Just, when you can't take anymore,
You hear your lover's mighty roar.
And when he hits that real high note,
You feel it oozing down your throat.

FOR THE BOYZ

Salty, fishy, sticky stuff,
Okay already, that's enough.
Let's switch you say, before you gag,
And what revenge, you're on the rag!

Eating out and chowing down,
but tonight I'm not out on the town.
Tonight I'm served a seafood dish,
well at the least it tastes like fish.

Time to overcome my fears,
as she drags me down there by my ears,
to feast upon her hairy pie,
where pubes and stubble jab my eye.

She lies back and moans and then softly sighs,
I cant help thinking about scampi & fries.
Don't lick too low, move up a bit,
got to be careful or I'm in the shit.

Nibble, lick, caress and stroke,
the things I do just for a poke.
Up, down and right a bit,
where the hell does she keep her clit?

I'll never find it here like this,
fanny design just takes the piss.
To find my way around her twat,
I'll need a torch and miners hat.

I think my tongue is failing me,
Christ I hope she doesn't pee.
I've been licking her minge for years.
I wish I could breathe through my ears.

God I hope that she comes quick,
since my neck's developing a crick.
I'm sweating like I've got a fever,
under the covers, eating split beaver,

I must have hit the right spot at last,
cos' her screams are gaining volume fast,
her thighs clamp tight around my head,
and her screams scare the neighbours out of their bed.

She's coming at last and making a racket,
her thighs crushing my head like a discarded fag packet.
I'm choking and spluttering but she doesn't care,
that my mouth is full of fish flavoured hair.

And that my face is smothered in thick fanny batter
and juices that taste like a seafood platter.
But she thinks it's funny, and starts taking the piss,
but she soon stops her laughing, when I move in for a kiss.
(Kirk Miller)

Stan Kegel

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Moose Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

RECIPE: FROM THE KITCHEN OF SARAH PALIN

Hi! Everyone knows I'm the only Governor around who knows how to
properly field-dress a moose, and that my favorite home-made dish is
moose stew, but I'll bet you didn't know I can whip up a mean
appetizer too! Grab hold of this one:

~~~~~TASTY TUNDRA TESTES~~~~~

2 pounds moose testicles*
2 cups beer
2 eggs, beaten
1 & 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 cup yellow cornmeal
Salt and ground black pepper to taste
Vegetable oil**
1 tablespoon hot pepper sauce

* Be sure to ask your favorite butcher -- or governor! -- to bring
you the moose calf testicles, not bull moose testicles. Moose calf
testicles are the size of a walnut and are much more tenderer than
the larger bull moose testicles.

** Use enough vegetable oil to fill your frying container half- way
to the top (to allow for bubbling up and splattering) and to
completely cover testicles while frying.

With a very sharp knife, split the tough skin-like muscle that
surrounds each testicle. Remove the skin (you can remove the skin
easily if the testicles are frozen, then peel while thawing). Slice
each testicle into approximately 1/4- to 1/2-inch-thick ovals. Place
slices in a large pan or bowl with enough beer to cover them; cover
and let sit 2 hours.

In a shallow bowl, combine eggs, flour, cornmeal, salt, and pepper.
Remove testicles from beer; drain and dredge thoroughly in the flour
mixture. In a large, deep pot, heat the oil to 375 degrees F. Deep
fry 3 minutes or until golden brown (will rise to the surface when
done). Drain on paper towels.

Serve warm, with your favorite hot pepper sauce.

That's it, and Good Night! from the Governor who's great in the
sack.... the nut sack!!!

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Chinese Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The global financial crunch is hitting everybody, even horny,
Chinese business tycoons who are forced to cut all the way
down from five to one mistress. But this particular horny,
Chinese business tycoon had a sporting streak. Instead of
just picking his favorite he held a competition between all
of his girls. A competition that ultimately lead to one's
death.

The details behind the death came to light after the parents
of the 29-year-old dead woman, only identified as Yu, handed
over to police a letter that she had written.

In her letter she said had been one of five mistresses kept
by a married Chinese businessman, identified only by his
surname, Fan, since 2000. All the five knew about each other,
but chose not to break up the relationship as they received
a monthly allowance of 5,000 yuan ($733) and a rent-free
apartment.

The businessman was going to lay off four of his five
mistresses due to financial troubles. The women were allowed
to vie for the remaining position by competing on their
looks, their singing and their ability to drink alcohol (which
is exactly how I picked my wife, by the way).

When Fan told Yu she had lost her position and he was selling
her apartment, she decided to take revenge. She invited the
businessman and the four other mistresses on a mountain trip
and drove the car off a cliff, killing herself and seriously
injuring the other passengers.

As a result of the scandal, the tycoon's wife demanded a
divorce after learning about his affairs, while the four
mistresses left him after he shut down his business. He also
had to pay $85,000 compensation to the parents of the dead
woman.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Top 100 Dafonts
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If I was a terrorist
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IKEA commercial not seen in US
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Bad Luck
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Boogie Woogie
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Ford Police Chase
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Man Cheats DEA
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Missile
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Flying Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two voices, one male and one female, overheard on a plane:

"I think everyone's asleep, lets go"

"This one's empty ... no-ones looking... you go in first"

"It's a bit cramped - let me sit down"

"Have you got the condom? Quick - put it on"

Sniff sniff

"Ah perfume - you think of everything"

"This is great....." (long sigh)

Static on the loud speaker then a new voice.

"This is the captain speaking, to those two people in the rear
toilet.
We
know what you're doing and it is expressly forbidden by airline
regulations...Now put those cigarettes out and take the condom off
the
smoke
detector!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Talkin Dirty
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32814.htm

Golf
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Filling A Hole
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32816.htm

Somewhere in America
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32846.htm

In bed
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32847.htm

Better Half
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32848.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There once was a man name of Florin
Who was fond of a gal who was whorin'
When he looked in her box
And found 20 cocks
Said, "I'm sure you won't mind just one more in."

There once was a vampire called Mabel
Who's menstrual cycle was stable
One weekend in four
She'd sit on the floor
And drink herself under the table.

There once was a queen of Bulgaria
Whose bush had grown hairier and hairier,
Till a prince from Peru
Who came up for a screw
Had to hunt for her cunt with a terrier.

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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Abby,

I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice. I have
suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.

The usual signs......... phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs
up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although
when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work,
you don't know them."

I always try to stay awake to look out for her coming home, but I
usually fall asleep. Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my
wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last
night she went out again and I decided to really check on her.

Around midnight, I decided to hide in the garage behind my golf clubs so
I could get a good view of the whole street when she arrived home from a
night out with "the girls". It was at that moment, crouching behind my
clubs, that I noticed that the graphite shaft on my driver appeared to
have a hairline crack right by the club head.

Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the pro
shop where I bought it?

?

?

?

?

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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn

Vol 1991

Further Issues With Sleeping

Dad heads to his bed in Caldwell.to find.

Katie stretched out east and west across

the pillows. Sandi curled up in the middle of

the bed. Val sleeping east and west at the

foot of the bed.

BJ: One question. Where am I supposed to

sleep?

Everyone feigns ignorance and ignores dad.

BJ: Hello, I know you are listening to me, I can

see your ears twitch.

Rudy is laying on the floor and raises a paw.

Rudy: I think they are comfortable and speaking

for them, it is first come, first serve. You should

take a spot on the couch or with mother.

BJ: This was my bed when I was a child. I slept here

sixty years ago.

Rudy: Time to move along if you ask me.

BJ heads to Diana's room where Diana is sleeping along

with three cats on her bed. I guess there is always the

couch.

Too late. Rudy is stretched along the couch.

The next morning..

Diana: Honey, why are you sleeping on the floor?

The herd

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult

*********************************************

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

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Recent Activity:
To Subscribe send a blank email to Buffalos-adult-jokes-subscribe@egroups.com

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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
.

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