Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
If you were born in March, what famous people do you share
a birthday with?
1. Roger Daltry, Ron Howard, Pete Rozelle
2. Jon Bon Jovi, Dr. Seuss, Mikhail Gorbachev
3. Alexander Graham Bell, Hershel Walker, Mike Combe
4. Knute Rocke, Shemp Howard, Paula Prentiss
5. Rex Harrison, Andy Gibb, Michael Irvin
6. Ed McMahon, Shaquille O'Neal, Tom Arnold
7. Lynn Swann, Willard Scott, Nancy Kent
8. Mickey Dolenz, Lynn Redgrave
9. Bobby Fisher, Mickey Spillane
10. Sharon Stone, Chuck Norris
11. Sam Donaldson, Rupert Murdoch
12. Andrew Young, Darryl Strawberry, Liza Minelli
13. Neil Sedaka, William Casey, Adam Clayton
14. Albert Einstein, Billy Crystal, Charlotte Senefeld
15. Andrew Jackson, Judd Hirsch, Thomas M
16. James Madison, Jerry Lewis, Salida T
17. Billy Corgan, Nat King Cole, Bettie Hall
18. Vanessa Williams, Queen Latifah, Bonnie Blair
19. Bruce Willis, Glenn Close
20. Spike Lee, Bobby Orr, Pat Riley
21. Rosie O'Donnell, Johan Sebastian Bach
22. William Shatner, Bob Costas
23. Maynard Jackson, Chaka Khann, Dianne Funk
24. Harry Houdini, Steve McQueen
25. Elton John, Howard Cosell, Sarah Jessica Parker
26. Diana Ross, Sandra Day O'Connor, LynnLynn
27. Mariah Carey, Quentin Tarantino
28. Reba McEntire
29. Cy Young, Jennifer Capriati, Hammer
30. Eric Clapton, Warren Beatty, Don Maire
31. Al Gore, Gordie Howie, Shirley Jones
Enjoy the chips buffalo
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Engineering Chips
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(What they say versus what they mean)
A number of different approaches are being tried. (We are still
guessing at this point.)
Close project coordination. (We sat down and had coffee together.)
An extensive report is being prepared on a fresh approach.
(We just hired three punk kids out of school.)
Major technological breakthrough! (It works OK; but looks very
hi-tech!)
Customer satisfaction is believed assured. (We are so far behind
schedule,
that the customer will take anything.)
Preliminary operational tests were inconclusive. (The darn thing
blew up
when we threw the switch.)
Test results were extremely gratifying! (Unbelievable, it actually
worked!)
The entire concept will have to be abandoned. (The only guy who
understood
the thing quit.)
It is in process. (It is so wrapped in red tape that the situation
is
completely hopeless.)
We will look into it. (Forget it! We have enough problems already.)
Please note and initial. (Let's spread the responsibility for this.)
Give us the benefit of your thinking. (We'll listen to what you have
to say
as long as it doesn't interfere with what we have already done or
with what
we are going to do.)
Give us your interpretation. (We can't wait to hear your bull.)
See me or let's discuss. (Come to my office, I've messed up again.)
All new. (Parts are not interchangeable with previous design.)
Rugged. (Don't plan to lift it without major equipment.)
Robust! (Rugged, but more so)
Light weight. (Slightly lighter than rugged)
Years of development. (One finally worked)
Energy saving. (Achieved when the power switch is off.)
No maintenance. (Impossible to fix)
Low maintenance. (Nearly impossible to fix)
Fax me the data. (I'm too lazy to write it down.)
We are following the standard! (That's the way we have always done
it!)
I didn't get your e-mail. (I haven't checked my e-mail for days.)
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
its all about the bai
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d001.html
thats what it looks like
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/d002.html
make a wish
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Governor Chips
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The Best of Ed Rendell, the governor of Pennsylvania On why he would
never consider being a U.S. senator: "It's an incredibly easy job.
They don't do shit."
On his address to the Democratic National Convention in the
1980s: "Thirty seconds into my speech, it dawned on me that I could
have been reading the best parts of Lady Chatterley's Lover and it
wouldn't have mattered. ... No one was listening."
On his job description as mayor: "A good portion of my job is spent
on my knees, sucking people off to keep them happy."
On his refusal to deny a quote attributed to him in Philadelphia
magazine in which he said that the publication "sucks the big wong":
"Anybody who knows me knows that it has the ring of truth, so I'm
cooked. If I had said, 'Your magazine eats shit,' I could have
denied it."
On caving in to people's demands as governor: "If I was a woman, I'd
be pregnant all the time."
To union leaders threatening a massive strike during a pivotal
contract negotiation: "I don't want to be a shit, and I don't want
to be anti-labor, but I can't grow hair, and I can't grow money."
After eight murders one weekend summer night, as he passed an
impoverished stretch of Philadelphia and concluded there was only
one hope of reduced violence: "What we need in this town is on every
fucking weekend between now and September for it to rain."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I work in OB GYN in a women hospital. One of our doc's tells of
working in a fertility clinic during his training. A very heavy
woman came to them and said she had been trying to get pregnant for
3 years When he got her in the stirrups he found out she was still a
virgin.
He asked her if her husband penetrated her when they had sex. She
laughed and said," He think he do!"
A new TV game show in Hollywood had many contestants who were
beautiful, but they weren't necessarily too smart. On one show, one
such woman was extremely nervous, but tried to make the best of her
performance. The host asked, "Who was the first man, for one
thousand dollars?" She responded, "The first man was Peter, my
postman, but he only paid me one hundred dollars!"
Having flashed his light into the back of a parked Mini-Van behind a
local burger joint, the Policeman gasped, "Are you two actually
having sex in the parking lot ?" "Why no officer." drawled the sweet
young thing. "This here fellow is just helping me practice in case
I meet a strong handsome Policeman I could really go for."
A young man, with a promising career ahead of him, decided to marry
a respectable convent girl, untarnished with the sins of
contemporary society. After the wedding service, the bridal couple
had to drive through the more unsavory areas of the city on the way
to the reception. "William, what are those women doing leaning
against lampposts?" "Oh, those are just tarts who hire their bodies
out for sex at fifty dollars a time." "Wow, fifty dollars!"
exclaimed the bride, "the monks only used to give us an apple..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A gay couple who are dear friends of ours were over for dinner when
the conversation drifted round to 'opposites attract.' According to
my wife, one illustration of this phenomenon is that in every happy
couple there is always an organized and tidy one (her) and a more
spontaneous, less organized one (me). It helps if one partner is
more obsessed with tidiness than the other, right? Nods of
recognition all round from me and the gay chaps. "So," she asks
brightly, "which one of you two is the anal one?"
I bumped into a friend of mine that I haven't seen since high
school.
We were close back then. We almost went to the same college, but my
grades weren't really up to snuff. When she went away to college
she wrote me and told me that she was going to fulfill her dream of
becoming a thespian. When I bumped into her the other day I asked
her how that thespian thing was going. She said it was the best.
She even gave me tickets to this play that she was in and I happily
accepted.
She said that we should get dinner afterwards and catch up. I hope
that I get to meet her thespian girlfriend at dinner. Thespians are
hot!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Did you hear that Linda got a great new job?" "Really? I wish I
could do that. I'd like a change for the better." "Well, you can
always do what she did." "What's that?" "Don't wear panties to the
interview."
"So how often do you have sex with your wife?" "Oh, four or five
times a week." "That's more often than I get it!" "Well, it should
be.
After all, she's my wife."
Did you hear about the diner who didn't believe in flying saucers
until he goosed a waitress!
A sweet young thing of our acquaintance decided that she would
rather be a young man's slave than an old man's darling, because she
couldn't stand the idea of old age creeping up on her.
"I really don't know what you see in him, Susan. He's just an
everyday sort of man." "Well, Jeez," Susan replied, "What more could
a girl ask for?"
A young American was enjoying his first night in Rome, drinking
cappuccino at a pavement cafe when a pretty girl sat beside him.
"Hello," he said. " Do you understand English?" "Only a little,"
she answered. "How much?" he asked. "Fifty dollars," she replied.
A New York fashion designer warns that if hemlines get any shorter,
women won't dare sit down and men won't dare stand up.
Why is cunnilingus called eating, while fellatio is called a blow
job?
The terms were invented by a woman to make the one sound enjoyable
and the other like work.
What do you call a Roman with hair between his teeth?
Gladiator.
Why do Jewish girls have gold diaphragms?
So they can tell their fathers that their boyfriends are cumming
into money!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/New Music 6
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Wav_Gp/Gp_5.html
carolyn w/ Funny Face
http://carolynspreciousmemories.com/Misc/FunnyFace.html
John w/ Old Shep
http://heavens-gates.com/elvis/oldshep/
My Cyber Fans Via Samantha
http://www.diamondavid.com/poetry/MyCyberFriends.php
Top Reasons To Smile!
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/smile.html
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Hello,
We wanted to inform you today that you can now download a program
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the world right on your PC!
Press Here to watch TV from around the world on your PC:
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Surfin Surfari
How To Tie Knots
http://www.troop9.org/?s=knots/index
Medical Library Association: Deciphering Medspeak
http://www.mlanet.org/resources/medspeak/index.html
Utah painter - Grab a tissue!
http://www.militarytimes.com/hancock
50's News - 5th wheel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64ge6b02DjA
Empire State Building
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/empire.html
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Passsword Partner
http://www.passwordpartner.com/
Shopping List
http://www.homeplansoftware.com/shoplist.htm
Free Clip Art Via Samantha
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Animal World
Kitty Korner
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Movie Links
Simmons
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90901.htm
Poor Mailman
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90902.htm
Cute Doctor
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90903.htm
Bumble Butt
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90904.htm
Happy Ending
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90905.htm
Stethoscope
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsgtr.htm
China
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jksd.htm
Super Models
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsfqas.htm
Suzuki
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsfasas.htm
Swallowing
http://www.buffaloschips.com/asdsfsd.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man and a woman were engaged in heated sexual intercourse. The
woman was screaming and wiggling like she had never before.
Afterwards, she flings the lights on and stares him straight in the
eyes. "You know you were fucking me in the ass, don't you?" "I
wasn't quite sure,"
replied the man. "Surely you realized that it wasn't like our
normal sex. Why didn't you stop?" pleaded the wife. "You know how
much we men hate to stop and ask for directions..."
When one of the girls of the Establishment died, the funeral was a
beautiful affair. Hundreds of friends and clients showed up for the
solemn procession. Car on car of brightly colored flowers followed
the slow moving hearse, and when they finally arrived at the
cemetery the Madam took her place at the side of the yawning grave
and began to weep copiously. Two of the girls, standing nearby,
heard the Madam muttering through her sobs -a quiet, reflective,
eulogy: That was a wonderful girl. She brought in more business
than any girl I ever had.
She was the best prostitute I ever knew. One of the girls turned to
her companion. "See?" she mused, "You have to die before they say
something nice about you!"
Incidentally, Ladies of the Evening have their share of the
currently fashionable neuroses just like everyone else. But they
have one complaint about psychiatrists that the rest of us do not
share.
Gorgeous Gussie puts it this way: "This is the only guy I know who
tells me to lay down on a couch and then sends me a bill."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Camping
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32110.htm
I'm No Drive In Bank
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32111.htm
Gopher Hole
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32112.htm
Canned Tits
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32113.htm
Clara
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32114.htm
I'll Have the Brown Crap
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32115.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Indoor Banana Tree - Grow Your Own Delicious Bananas
Bananas are the perfect ingredient for cereal, pancakes, muffins and
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young fellow named Charteris
Put his hand where his young lady's garter is.
She said, "I don't mind,
And up higher you'll find
The place where my fucker and farter is."
_________________________________
There was a young girl named Sapphire,
Who succumbed to her lover's desire,
She said: "It's a sin,
But now that it's in,
Could you shove it a few inches higher?"
_________________________________
There was a young athlete named Grimmon,
Who developed a new way of swimmin'...
By a marvelous trick,
He would scull with his prick,
Which attracted loud cheers from the women.
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told him that her
husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she was not sure
that it was such a good idea.
'Do you enjoy it?' The doctor asked.
'Actually, yes, I do.' ''Does it hurt you?' he asked. 'No. I
rather like it.' 'Well, then,' the doctor continued, 'there's no
reason that you shouldn't practice anal sex, if that's what you
like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant.' The woman was
mystified. 'What? You can get pregnant from anal sex?' 'Of course,
' the doctor replied. 'Where do you think people like Nancy Pelosi
and Harry Reid come from.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
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Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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