Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Even though it was 11 degrees outside last night, the lack of snow
has prompted the city to have a temporary cancellation of the on
street parking ban, pending any blizzards in the next week. Although
this has happened unofficially in the past, the city put it up on the
electronic billboard on the main bridge coming into the downtown
area. This is great news because I hate getting stuck on my front
lawn and digging holes in it that have to be patched next summer.
Eva turned 5 yesterday and had a great birthday even though the
party was small. The house currently looks like there was a
hundred people here with broken balloons and decorations
everywhere. Anyhow the birthday party, TOPS and a lot of running
around left me dead tired during the time I had reserved for
finishing the newsletters, so I gave up and went to bed.
Hope you have a great weekend, enjoy the chips ...... buffalo
A newsletter you may enjoy
A CraftELady Mailing
Recipes, Domestic Tips, Birthday Club & More!
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Aussie Chips
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An Aussie went into an empty bar in New Zealand and ordered a beer.
As he was
walking around, he saw a table about 6' x 4' with some lines
marked 6"-10" from one edge. Next to each line there are
initials.
The man asked the bartender, "What are all those marks on that
table?"
"It's a game the locals play, they pull out their dicks,
stretch them a far as they can and mark a line." Our Aussie hero was
hung like a horse and reckoned he can beat all the lines he'd
seen and asked if he could have a go. "Sure," was the reply.
As he pulled out his dick, a clear winner by about 3". He s
tarted to mark his line down when the bartender said, "No mate,
us Kiwis start from the other side!"
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
crushed nuts
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what do you mean
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g029.html
wanted
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Drunk Chips
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*Things that are difficult to say when you're drunk:
a) Innovative
b) Preliminary
c) Proliferation
d) Cinnamon
Things that are VERY difficult to say when you're drunk:
a) Specificity
b) British Constitution
c) Passive-aggressive disorder
d) Transubstantiate
Things that are ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE to say when you're drunk:
a) Thanks, but I don't want to sleep with you.
b) Nope, no more booze for me.
c) Sorry, but you're not really my type.
d) No kebab for me, thank you.
e) Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?
f) I'm not interested in fighting you.
g) Oh, I just couldn't - no one wants to hear me sing.
h) Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no
co-ordination. I'd hate to look like a fool.
i) Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in the street. j)
I
must be going home now as I have work in the morning.
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Little Johnny Chips
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Little Johnny's teacher has had it with his behavior, so she goes tothe
principal and pleads for something to be done. The principle asks for
Little Johnny to be sent to his office. When Little Johnny arrives the
principle tries to play with his mind so he asks him something that
Little Johnny will think is rude. "Tell me Johnny, do you know how to
put a hole into another hole?" asks the principle. "No sir I don't"
replies Little Johnny. "I'm giving you to the end of the month to come
back with the answer to this question," says the principle. The whole
month passes and Little Johnny is quiet as a mouse, thinking about the
question, which he thinks must have a rude answer, day and night. After
a month Little Johnny starts with his bad behavior again and the teacher
pleads to the principle again, so Little Johnny is called in. "Tell me
Johnny, did you figure out how to put a hole into another hole?" asked
the principle. "No sir I didn't, but do you know how to put 8 holes in
to another hole?" asked Little Johnny. "No" was the answer from the now
dizzy principle. "Well" said Little Johnny with a smile, "Come home with
me after school today and I'll show you. You see my dad has this flute
with 8 holes in it and if I shove it up your fucking ass, you'll see how
it's done."
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Beauty Chips
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They know how to grow up 'em in Maryland, as evidenced by
their 2008 Miss Outdoors winner. This is not some vapid
beauty contest for bubble-headed teenagers. No, Maryland's
Miss Outdoors has to display some real talents, like muskrat
skinning.
The key to successful muskrat skinning is a very sharp knife
the outgoing Miss Outdoors, Dakota Abbott, said. 17-year-old
Dakota, who won the Miss Outdoors title in 2008, earned $100
and a set of muskrat traps by winning the women's junior
championship trophy in a muskrat-skinning contest last week-
end.
The tradition of Miss Outdoors competitions and muskrat
skinning began in 2003 when contestant Tiffany Brittingham
donned a sharp knife, along with jewelry and makeup to show
off her skinning skills. There is an image for you.
This year's competition even included a contestant who
scalded a large chicken before plucking the feathers from
the bird.
But once the judges' votes were tallied in this year's Miss
Outdoors event, Abbigail Tyler was victorious -- thanks to
her singing performance of "Red High Heels."
Emcee Buddy Foxwell had one unusual pageant request for all
contestants, "All contestants are reminded to take your
carcasses home with you."
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Super Wave Oven All In One Cooker
New from The Sharper Image, the Super Wave Oven combines halogen,
convection, and infrared heat technology to cook foods up to three times
quicker in every way possible. It can broil, bake, barbecue, roast,
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to defrost. And even with all these cooking possibilities, it uses less
energy than conventional ovens. Plus, the Super Wave Oven is self
cleaning so clean up is a breeze.
Learn More
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Anniversary Chips
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A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary on the
beaches in Gold Coast Australia. Their domestic tranquility had long
been the talk of the town. People would say, 'What a peaceful &
loving couple.' The local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the
secret of their long and happy marriage.
The husband replied: 'Well, it dates back to our honeymoon in
America '. We visited the Grand Canyon, in Arizona , and took a trip
down to the bottom of the canyon, by horse. We hadn't gone too far
when my wife's horse stumbled and she almost fell off. My wife
looked down at the horse and quietly said, 'That's once.' 'We
proceeded a little further and her horse stumbled again.. Again my
wife quietly said, 'That's twice.' We hadn't gone a half-mile when
the horse stumbled for the third time my wife quietly removed a
revolver from her Purse and shot the horse dead.
I SHOUTED at her, 'What's wrong with you, Woman! Why did you shoot
the poor animal like that, are you $%#@! crazy?' She looked at ME,
and quietly said, 'That's once.'
And from that moment on.... We have lived happily ever after.'
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/My Prayer
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Insp/Pra.html
Rick w/ The Rainbow Bridge (for pet lovers)
http://www.wtv-zone.com/Cruise_2000/r/RainbowBridge.html
Carol w/Make Me Believe
http://www.carolspoetry.com/carol39.html
Ages Of Women Via Sanantha
http://www.joygreetings.com/ages.htm
Gods Embroidery Via Samantha
http://www.tenderlovingcards.com/gdcinsp17.html
Babes In Christ!
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/babesinchrist.html
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Hello,
We wanted to inform you today that you can now download a program
online that will allow you to watch unlimited television from around
the world right on your PC!
Press Here to watch TV from around the world on your PC:
http://buffaloschips.com/comptv
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Surfin Surfari
The Blue Book of Grammar and Punctuation Via Dianne
http://www.grammarbook.com/
The Human Body, A Dissection
http://www.oddee.com/item_96547.aspx
Freeze Via Dianne
http://www.alaska-in-pictures.com/freeze-photos.htm
Angel Wing Decoys!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/angel.html
Directions Home
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/home.html
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Hi,
We would like to show you why you may be "fat" and why you're unable
to lose weight no matter how hard you try.
First off, please always know that it's not your fault...
Press here to see why you're fat:
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After you see what the problem is, you will see how easy it is to
finally lose the fat that you want to lose.
Thank you!
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
The Perfect Linux Firewall Part I -- IPCop
http://www.howtoforge.com/perfect_linux_firewall_ipcop
Web Buikding Tutorials Via Wesley
http://www.w3schools.com/
Spellchecker.net
http://www.spellchecker.net/
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We would like to know if you would be interested in working from
home in your spare time writing short articles for us. You will be
paid $25.00 - $45.00 per hour writing these articles.
We will also pay you $12.00 - $50.00 per hour for posing in blogs,
and up to $450 for each fiction or non fiction story we ask you to
write.
Press here if you are interested:
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All my best,
Freelance Home Writers Network
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.kidsanddogs.bravepages.com/storiesa.html
Kitty Korner
http://alleycatphotos.com/book.htm
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Giant Sunflower Mat Grow Hundreds Of Sunflowers in Your Backyard
Grow hundreds of sunflowers in just days. The Giant Sunflower Mat is
simple to use - just unroll the pre-seeded mat, water and watch the
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dazzling yellows, sunset oranges, and pale 'moonbeam' lemons. Order
today and get a second mat on us for only $10.
Learn More
http://tinyurl.com/4zbfup5
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Movie Links
Fanfare
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jakjkas.htm
Final Call
http://www.buffaloschips.com/askla.htm
Flashlights
http://www.buffaloschips.com/saasjka.htm
Girls
http://www.buffaloschips.com/skal.htm
Giving Change Adult
http://www.buffaloschips.com/skksls.htm
Kitty Is In Love
http://www.buffaloschips.com/87y5r.htm
Kiwi Bacon Mmmm!
http://www.buffaloschips.com/43r.htm
Loafing
http://www.buffaloschips.com/5r5.htm
Looking For My Wallet And Car Keys
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7y.htm
Lundi
http://www.buffaloschips.com/8uh.htm
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Oops Chips
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Oops! is a word
That I don't care
To hear as someone
Cuts my hair.
Another time
It's not a thrill
Is when the dentist
Holds a drill.
An Oops! escaped
From pilot's lips
Can do me in
On airplane trips.
But nothing's worse
Than Oopses! spoken
When one finds out
The rubber's broken.
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Toon Chips
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butthole express
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kcbjkcfgjdf.htm
butt muff1
http://www.buffaloschips.com/,gjkdgjdflg.htm
butt muff2
http://www.buffaloschips.com/mjhgjkl.htm
buttons2
http://www.buffaloschips.com/mhjk.htm
bye bye
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Fast Brite Lens Restore
The Fastest Lens Revolution Kit Ever
Only $10 plus $7.95 S&H
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Limerick Chips
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There was a young lady named Mable
Who liked to sprawl out on the table
Then cry to her man,
"Stuff in all you can -
Get your ballocks in, too, if you're able."
____________________________
There was a young fellow named Keith,
who liked to be fondled beneath.
When she used her lips,
He wiggled his hips,
But not when the bitch used her teeth.
____________________________
There was a young lady named Hicks
Who delighted to play with men's pricks,
Which she would embellish
With evident relish,
And make them stand up and do tricks.
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The Tomato Factory Planter
Only $10 + S&H
Grow Delicious Ripe Tomatoes at home.
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Parting Chips
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I took a Cadillac Escalade out for a test drive -- just to drive
that sucker before they become extinct.
The salesman sat in the back seat describing the car and all its
wonderful options.
The seats were of particular interest.
He explained that the seats directed warm air to your butt in the
winter and directed cool air to your butt in the summer heat....
I stated the car must be a Republican car.
Looking a bit angry, he asked why I thought it was a Republican car.
I explained that if it were a Democrat car, the seats would blow
smoke up your ass year-round.
I had to walk back to the dealership...
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2003
Fixing the Dog Run Part One
BJ and Katie head to the dog run to fix it
where Sandi cannot escape. He looks around
and cannot find where she gets out.
BJ: Hmm, I don't remember this wood panel
being here.
He lifts it up and ... tada...it uncovers steps to
a darkness below. BJ goes back to the house
and grabs a flashlight and soon descends into
the darkness.
BJ: A tunnel! A tunnel with lights above and
what is this, a narrow guage track and let me
see what is on it. A mine cart filled with dirt.
How far does this thing go?
BJ bends over and walks a while and wonders..
"How far does this go?"
Suddendly it stops and a small rope ladder goes
up. He climbs and pushes and a fake styrofoam rock
gives way.
BJ: That sneaky dog. I am at the far south end of the
property. She is far enough away so she can't be seen
from the house and in the woods.
The herd
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Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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