Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Barry writes
You mentioned the wear and tear on the planes, but, you failed to
mention the wear and tear on the shorts of the people flying or riding
on those jerky cat shots. A cold cat is deadly, I imagine this would be
close to the same thing.
Hope they can get it right. I bet though, that when the shuttle
hits the end of cat run, it still thumps just as hard as the steam cat.
Reverend Barry West
buffalo says I guess every carrier had spare piston assemblies for
the cats stored in the Hanger Bay on the bulkheads. I used to walk
past them a dozen times a day and they looked a little like a knight's
lance pointed on the end and then flaring up to the size of the piston
which was probably a foot in diameter and overall about 8 feet long.
Steam was allowed to flow into the catapult cylinder to allow it to
expand
to prevent binding and then no-load shots were fired at low pressure
without a plane to complete the warm up process. The tip of the
spear when it reached the end of the cylinder struck a compartment
filled with water and stopped it. The water brake if it failed would
allow
the piston to be blasted out through the front of the ship or so the
story
goes. That could have just been a sea tale but you can imagine that
something capable of dragging a 50,000 lb. aircraft down the deck
and throwing it into the air would probably do a little damage with out
something to stop it. We can also imagine that the Navy in their
infinite
wisdom had something that would prevent that from happening or at
least they did after someone fired a cat shot with the pumps off or
maybe that was what the spares were for.
The hydrogen explosion at the nuclear plant in Japan last night
was pretty impressive and probably will prevent any of that reactor
from ever being used again. Hopefully they will reestablish cooling
before it creates a health hazard for the whole country. The reactors
they are using are a boiling water design by General Electric similar
to the ones installed at Brown's Ferry in the U.S. The pressure vessel
where the reaction happens and water is heated into steam is a
six inch thick stainless steel and able to contain a partial meltdown
of the fuel rods. An event such as what happened in Japan was
predicted to happen once in 10,000 reactor lifetimes. The new designs
that are being proposed for construction here have a probability
of a core damaging accident once in every 3 million reactor lifetimes
which are considered to be 100 years even though current reactors
are only licensed for 60 years. The latest designs are intrinsically
safer because there are no coolant pumps. Instead natural circulation
draws the water much the same as tractors that were built originally
without a water pump. They did have a fan though to cool the radiator.
I said all of this because even though I don't want to reduce the
seriousness of Japan's situation, I still think that Nuclear power has
been safer than any other type of power and is totally viable as an
answer to our energy problems in the future. Face it, if you want to
drive
your electric car when it's dark or the wind stops blowing without
dumping
tons of carbon into the atmosphere you better have a reactor handy.
Best wishes to Japan as the death toll rises and more shocks hit.
Enjoy the chips..... buffalo
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The very first sex education classes were in the 50's. Naturally,
some of the teachers were embarrassed and used only very carefully
chosen words.
In one class, the teacher was explaining the anatomy of the male
genitalia. He said, "The human male testicles are about the size of
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~~~~~~~~~~~
Mother Superior calls all the nuns together for an emergency meeting
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Soccer Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's just before England v France at the Millennium Stadium, an
important European Championship qualifier game. David Beckham goes
into the English changing room to find all his team mates looking a
bit glum.
"What's up?" he asks.
"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know
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bothered"
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by myself, you lads go down the pub."
So David Beckham goes out to play France by himself and the rest of
the England team go off for a few jars.
After a few pints they wonder how the game is going, so they get the
landlord to put the teletext on. A big cheer goes up as the screen
reads "England 1 - France 0 (D. Beckham 10 minutes)" He is beating
France all by himself!
Anyway, a few more pints later and the game is forgotten until
someone remembers "It must be full time now, let's see how he got
on."
They put the teletext on.
"Result from the Millennium Stadium :
England 1 (Beckham 10 minutes) - France 1 (Zidane 89 minutes).
They can't believe it, he has single handedly got a draw against
France!! They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate him.
They find him in the dressing room, still in his kit, sat with his
head in his hands. He refuses to look at them.
"I've let you down, I've let you down"
"Don't be daft, you got a draw against France, all by yourself. And
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minutes!!!!!!"
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Short Chips
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A little girl came running in the house and said, "Mommy,
I met the most wonderful man this morning. It was the
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and it broke and went all over him. And, you know,
Mommy, he just stood there and talked to his mother,
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~~~
The first year student had just gotten a beat up old
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He took it for a spin but misjudged the curve and
overturned the car directly between the house of Mr.
and Mrs. Smith and Mr. and Mrs. Balls
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~~~~~~
My boyfriend and I were at my daughter's volleyball game when we
noticed an adult couple in the bleachers. They were being VERY
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Tuna Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We're coming up on tornado season and that got me to thinking about
Tuna.
Allow me to explain. Way back when I was in grade school every
spring we would have tornado drills. These consisted of the teachers
hustling all the students into the hallways and getting us to put
our heads deep between our knees. We got to be so good at it that we
even gave the position a nickname. We called it "the old duck and
cover". Yeah, we were cocky until a real tornado hit us.
There we were sitting in our classroom when suddenly the wind began
to blow, the sky grew dark and clouds began to form. In a short
while things calmed down and the sky took on a greenish tint. The
tornado siren began to wail and the teacher wigged out.
"Tornado!" she shrieked freaking out all the kids. "Get into the
hallway and assume the position!"
We ran into the hallway and many of the kids began to cry. I
couldn't cry. I was too preoccupied with getting my head far enough
up my ass. I noticed that Sally McGintee was having the same
problem. So I scooted over to her and we decided to put our heads
between each others knees. I was so frightened, but the unusual
aroma between Sally's legs kept me sufficiently distracted. I knew
that smell, I just couldn't quite place it!
Finally the "all clear" bell sounded and we all got back onto our
feet. That's when it hit me. "Tuna!" I shouted. "You smell like
tuna!" Nobody knew what the hell I was talking about.
But to this day, whenever there is a tornado warning I have this
uncontrollable craving for a tuna sandwich.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pat was lying on his deathbed, moaning and carrying on.
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Mike sits silently for a long time and Pat asks again, "Will you do
that for yer oldest friend, Mike?"
Mike draws a big breath and says, "Ye know I will Pat, but would ye
mind if I filter it through me kidneys first?"
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Phone Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Leola, who lived in Tennesse, had a serious telephone
problem. But
unlike most people, she did something about it. . .
The brand-new $10 million Ribrock Plaza Motel opened near
her house
and had acquired almost the same telephone number as
Leola's.
From the moment the motel opened, Leola was besieged by
calls not
for her. Since she had the same phone number for years, she
felt
that she had a case to persuade the motel management to
change its
number.
Naturally, the management refused claiming that it could not
change
its stationery.
The phone company was not helpful, either. A number was a
number,
and just because a customer was getting someone else's calls
24
hours a day didn't make it responsible. After her pleas fell
on
deaf ears, Leola decided to take matters into her own hands.
At 9 o'clock the phone rang. Someone from Memphis was
calling the
motel and asked for a room for the following Tuesday. Leola
said,
"No problem. How many nights?"
A few hours later Dallas checked in. A secretary wanted a
suite
with two bedrooms for a week. Emboldened, Leola said the
Presidential Suite on the 10th floor was available for $600
a night.
The secretary said that she would take it and asked if the
hotel
wanted a deposit.
"No, that won't be necessary," Leola said. "We trust you."
The next day was a busy one for Leola. In the morning, she
booked
an electric appliance manufacturers convention for Memorial
Day
weekend, a college prom and a reunion of the 82nd Airborne
veterans
from World War II.
She turned on her answering machine during lunchtime so that
she
could watch Days Of Our Lives, but her biggest challenge
came in the
afternoon when a mother called to book the ballroom for her
daughter's wedding in June.
Leola assured the woman that it would be no problem and
asked if she
would be providing the flowers or did she want the hotel to
take
care of it. The mother said that she would prefer the hotel
to
handle the floral arrangements. Then the question of valet
parking
came up.
Once again Leola was helpful.
"There's no charge for valet parking, but we always
recommend that
the client tips the drivers."
Within a few months, the Ribrock Plaza Motel was a disaster
area.
People kept showing up for weddings, bar mitzvahs, and Sweet
Sixteen
parties and were all told there were no such events.
Leola had her final revenge when she read in the local paper
that
the motel might go bankrupt. Her phone rang, and an
executive from
Marriott said, "We're prepared to offer you $200,000 for
your
motel."
Leola replies. . . .
"We'll take it...... but only if you change your phone
number."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pregnant
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A person of most any nation
If afflicted with bad constipation,
Can shove a cuirass
Up the crack of his ass,
But it isn't a pleasing sensation.
Leaving the seat down may be sweet,
But it means that i soak the seat,
I would be really great,
If i could pee straight,
But most times i just wet my feet.
There was a woman from Buffalo
who challenged a fellow to show
that he could pee
higher than she
How could the stout fellow say no?
So they went on out back of the pub
She put her puss on the wall and said "Bub,
I'm goin' first
I'm about to burst"
then proceeded to let go a flood.
She managed about three feet high
So the bub whipped open his fly
grabbed hold of his thing
but the "lady" did sing
"The rules are no hands by the by!"
Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Eater,
knew a chick, but wouldn't eat her;
met her brother, one fine day,
he sucked his cock,
and now he's gay!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A kid, around 10 years old, ragged and dirty, is sitting on the
curb. A very shapely young lady passes. The kid calls out, "Hey
miss, miss?" Lady stops, and he asks, WIll you give me some
pussy?Lady slaps him across the face and walks off, leaving the
little urchin crying. Lady starts to ponder: "Geez, he's only about
10 years old, and probably doesn't know what he's saying".Lady
returns and walks up to the little boy and and says, "I'm sorry for
slapping you"Between snuffles, he replies,"That's ok, ma'am"She
decides to take him in the alley and give him some.Surprisingly the
kid had a big dick and knew what he was doing. After the lady had 2
big orgasms and the kid shot his load, the lady asked, " Do you ask
every lady that question?"Urchin: Yes Ma'am!
Lady: Then you must get a lot of slaps then.
Urchin: Yes, Ma'am.
But I also get a lot of pussy too!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1994
Sandi's Solution
The weekend is nearing end. BJ is packing Diana's car.
Finally he gets Val and puts her in Diana's car. Then he
get's Rudy and puts him in Diana's car. Then to his
surprise, Sandi jumps into Diana's car.
BJ: Sandi, what are you doing in Diana's car?
Sandi: Going home with Mom.
BJ: Why?
Sandi: Don't want to be fenced up.
BJ: You will be fenced up in Caldwell.
Sandi: I will be fenced up in Caldwell with Rudy and Val.
BJ: So I guess...goodbye and see you this weekend.
Sandi: Sorry daddy. I will miss you.
BJ turns and walks to the house as Diana heads to her
car.
Diana: Is that Sandi in my car?
BJ: Yes, she wants to go home with you.
Diana: That's odd.
BJ: Yes, but it might be only a week or more.
The herd
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult
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Remember 9/11/01
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