Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I was sitting at the computer yesterday, ready to go to the
weekly TOPS meeting and the Group Leader called wanting
to know what the weather was like in town as someone said
there was a blizzard outside and some people had already
cancelled. I put her on hold and took a look outside because
it had been clear out earlier. At that point there was just a
few snowflakes falling outside so we decided to call off the
meeting because no one knew what it was like outside of
town and I promised to drive up to the church and make sure
no one had showed for the meeting. By the time I got ready to
leave it looked like a snow globe outside and it was a full
blown blizzard outside. I had already stocked groceries earlier
in the day so we just locked up and waited till morning. Overnight
we got 8-12 inches of snow and in the morning the plows came
through and pushed all of the snow into my parking space. I went
out to fire up the snow blower and it wouldn't start so I called
my nephew and went up to Walgreen's to pick up prescriptions.
By the time I got back he had my space blown out and I told
him if he ever needed it to just grab it. I then went to the gas
station to pick up tobacco and tubes and when I got back the
snow blower was gone. I was talking with Sandy in the kitchen
and I heard the blower out front but no one stopped. Eva was
jumping up and down saying that Frankie was outside as he is
her favorite cousin so that explained where the blower went.
We have traditionally had college students living upstairs and
though I had offered the use of the blower to most, they had
always shoveled out the back lot by hand. I heard the doorbell
and it was one of the guys upstairs and he wanted to borrow the
blower. I guess maybe kids are getting a little smarter.
Twelve hours after the storm, the streets are all clear and mostly
bare and the sidewalks and parking are all cleared and we are ready
for the next storm.
Enjoy the chips..... buffalo
A newsletter you may enjoy
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Random Chips
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Murray had a new flame, and before long they had a difference of
opinion. "I don't like the way you're carrying on with other guys," he
ranted, "That must stop!" "Calm down, Murray," she replied, "There's no
reason for you to flip. Listen, don't I always let you take me to
shows?" "Yeah." "And to dinner?" "That's right." "And don't I let you
buy me flowers and clothes, and other gifts?" "Yeah." "So what are you
getting excited about," she assured him, "I only use the other guys for
love-making."
This guy is sitting in his living room surfing the channels on the
television. All of a sudden, the door of the apartment whips open and
his girlfriend storms through. She screams, "You fuckin' arsehole!"
and she heads into the bedroom. Stunned, the man flips off the
television and walks toward the bedroom, wondering, "Now what have I
done?" Inside the bedroom he finds the girl furiously packing a
suitcase. He asks her what's up. She responds with a hiss, "My
therapist says that I should leave you and that you're a pedophile!"
The man responds, "Wow, that's a pretty big word for a 12 year old."
A young woman and young man were at the beach one moonlit night. They
were lying there looking at the night sky in each others arms. The
young man looked over and asked the young lady, "If you could be on any
planet up there, just you and I, which one would you want to be on?" The
young woman lies there for a minute staring up and thinks and then
replies, "I think it would be Venus, it sounds like a place of romance."
She then turns to him and asks him the same question. He lies there and
with a sly smile replies, "Uranus."
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
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teddy bear
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trickle down
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Random Chips
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A guy goes to a carnival and sees a sign - Kisses : $5 to $50 bucks.
He asks the gal, "Is the price difference due to the duration of the
kiss?" To which she replies, "Nope. Lip placement."
It used to bother me when people called me a pussy. But the joke's on
them -- after all, you are what you eat!
Charlie phoned Shirley to invite her out for a lamb dinner. "What do
you mean, a lamb dinner?" asked Shin somewhat puzzled. "Three cocktails
and a piece of ewe," smirked good old Charlie.
Said the little bell to the big bell, "You might have a bigger dong than
I have, but I do more ringing."
An Englishman shot himself in the groin recently after drinking 15 pints
of beer, and stuffing a sawed-off shotgun down his pants. Apparently,
the man was under the impression the gun wasn't fully cocked, and now he
isn't either.
I asked my friend what sign he was born under and he said he was
conceived under the "No Parking" sign.
How is a pussy like a grapefruit? The best ones squirt when you eat
them.
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Elderly Chips
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Two elderly people are living in a retirement community. He's a
widower and she's a widow. They have known each other for a while
and he likes her. One afternoon, he summons his courage and asks
her, "Would you like to have sex with me?"
She smiles, and says, "Yes, I will!"
So, they go to her place, have sex, and then man returns to his
place.
Next morning, the old man is troubled. "Did she say 'yes' or did
she say 'no'? Did we have sex or not?" He can't remember. With
trepidation, he goes to the telephone and calls her. First, he
explains to her that he doesn't remember as well as he used to, and
asks her whether they had sex together.
She replies, "Why, I said, 'Yes, I will' and I meant it." Then she
continues, "And I am so glad that you called, dear, because I
couldn't remember who asked me and who I had sex with
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Random Chips
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Mother: What seems to be the problem with you? You have been married
three years and still no children. I had hopes of being a grandmother
by now. Daughter: I just don't know, Mom! Billy tries all the time,
it's just that I have a lot of trouble swallowing.
Every Sunday, a little old lady placed $1,000 in the collection plate.
This went on for weeks until the priest, overcome with curiosity,
approached her. "Sister, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000
a week in the collection plate," he stated. "Why yes," she replied,
"every week my son sends me money, and what I don't need I give to the
church." "That's wonderful, how much does he send you?" "Oh, $2,000 a
week" "Your son is very successful, what does he do for a living?" "He
is a veterinarian," she answered. "That is a very honorable profession.
Where does he practice?" "Well, he has one cat house in Kansas City and
another in Dallas."
Did you hear about the guy who went to visit the Home for the Profoundly
Retarded and met a young female patient there who had practically
nothing on? When he went back to revisit nine months later she had a
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Paul picked this woman up in a nightclub and took her home. While they
were walking home he didn't say a thing. "You're not the communicative
type, are you?" she said as they were undressing. "Nah," Paul replied
and pulled out his old fella. "I do all my talking with this." "Damn,"
said the girl as she leaned forward to look. "You don't have much to
say, do you?"
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Washington Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In Washington, D.C. an old priest lay dying in the hospital. For
years he had faithfully served the people of the nation's capitol.
He motioned for his nurse to come near. "Yes, Father?" said the
nurse.
"I would really like to see President Obama and Speaker
Pelosi before I die," whispered the priest.
"I'll see what I can do, Father," replied the nurse.
The nurse sent the request to The President and Congress and
waited for a response. Soon the word arrived! President Obama and
Nancy Pelosi would be DELIGHTED to visit the priest.
As they went to the hospital, Obama commented to Pelosi, "I
don't know why the old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly
help our images and might even get me re-elected. After all, I'm IN
IT TO WIN IT."
Pelosi agreed that it was a good thing.
When they arrived at the priest's room, the priest took
Obama's hand in his right hand and Pelosi's hand in his left. There
was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest's face.
Finally President Obama spoke. "Father, of all the people you
could have chosen, WHY did you choose us to be with you as you near
the end?"
The old priest slowly replied, "I have always tried to
pattern my life after our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ."
"Amen," said Obama.
"Amen," said Pelosi..
The old priest continued, "Jesus died between two lying
thieves; I would be HONORED to do the same!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/New Music 7
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Wav_Cn/SiteMap.html
Brother Bob's Poems Of The Week:
http://ministry-webs.com/ministry/brotherbob/index.html
From Kathryn/Cat-chy Tunes
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Just Have Faith
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Remembering Elvis Via Samantha
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Global Rich List
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Programming Language Inventor or Serial Killer?
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NURSERY RHYMES LYRICS, ORGINS AND HISTORY
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Kid Sticks
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Bob's Rainbow of Favorites Via Samantha
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Quote Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Great Orators of the Democrat Party
'One man with courage makes a majority.'
- Andrew Jackson
'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.'
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
'The buck stops here.'
- Harry S. Truman
'Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for
your country.'
- John F. Kennedy
And, from today's genius Democrats...
'It depends what your definition of 'Sex' is?''
- Bill Clinton
'That Obama... I would like to cut his NUTS off.'
- Jesse Jackson
'Those rumors are false... I believe in the sanctity of marriage.'
- John Edwards
'I invented the Internet'
- Al Gore
'The next Person that tells me I'm not religious, I'm going to shove
my rosary beads up their butt'
- Joe Biden
'America is... is no longer, uh, what it... it, uh, could be, uh,
what it was once was... uh, and I say to myself, 'uh, I don't want
that future, uh, uh for my children.'
- Barack Obama
'I have campaigned in all 57 states.
- Barack Obama (Quoted 2008)
'You don't need God anymore, you have us Democrats.'
- Nancy Pelosi (Quoted 2006)
'Paying taxes is voluntary.'
- Sen. Harry Reid
'Bill is the greatest husband and father I know. No one is more
faithful, true, and honest than he.'
- Hillary Clinton (Quoted 1998)
HOW LUCKY CAN WE BE TO HAVE SUCH BRILLIANT MINDS IN CHARGE OF OUR
ONCE GREAT COUNTRY?
''Life's tough... it's even tougher if you're stupid.'' - John Wayne
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Toon Chips
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Just Once
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IRS
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It Fits
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Crane
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Marriage Penalty
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Coffee Break
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Limerick Chips
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The chamber maid blushed a bright red;
It must have been something I said.
I quipped, "You look hot
And I like you a lot
So please do not turn down my bed"
"I have never been screwed," the maid said,
"But I do enjoy giving men head."
First she went down on me,
Then I screwed her with glee.
I got two things in one: maidenhead.
I was horny, said, "Let's go to town!"
Then said, "Lie on your back." She did frown.
She replied, "Me on top,
And I'll screw 'til we drop.
It's a thing I won't take lying down."
The maid was quite hot; I adored 'er.
Her bod I explored while I scored 'er.
I remember the night
That was filled with delight.
For me, it was just maid to order.
I enjoyed many times getting laid,
And I'm glad that the housekeeper stayed.
'Bout that night I reflect,
And as you might suspect,
I admit that I did have it maid.
All night long 'gainst my body she pressed
Without stopping. I got little rest.
When I left the next day,
"Come again!" she did say.
The maid service I got was the best.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
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When I used to go to the quack shack (family practice) in Middleburg
they had a box of tissues
setting on the receptionist window ledge that advertised Viagra.
I went in to see the Dr. and told him if they were going to have that
out there they should also
add Playboy to the magazine rack.
The next time I went in the tissues were gone.
Someone must have used them all.
Myron
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1989 The Fence Drama.continued
Well it has been a few days and after putting Sandi
and Katie in the dog run (bowling night), I fully expected
to see them in the dog run when I got home. I was
half-way right. Katie was in the dog run (good girl).
Sandi was kicking back drinking a soda, eating a bag
of chips, reading the newspaper on the front porch.not
in the dog run.
I let Sandi in the house, let Katie out of the dog run and
examined the fence where I put metal rods, bricks and
hammered the screen to the house. The screen was
disconnected from the house. The rod was pushed aside,
a nice hole was dug at the bottom of the fence. The concrete
at the bottom of the fence to prevent escape was gone, the
bricks on the outside of the fence were nowhere to be seen.
What had the rascal done with those? So what is my next step?
The locals fine 100 dollars if she is picked up outside my
property. The next phase is concrete blocks on the inside
and outside of the fence and stacked two deep and two
high and two wide.
Who will win, who is smarter? So far the score is Sandi 2, BJ 0.
The herd
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Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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